by Joan Jonker
‘Molly, yer might be worryin’ for nothing. Give it a bit more time and try not to worry. Whatever’s to be will be, an’ we’ll face it together when the time comes.’ He rested his cheek against her head. ‘I love you, Molly Bennett.’
Molly twisted her head to face him. There was a smile on her face as she asked, ‘Facing things together means sharing things, doesn’t it? So I’ll have the morning sickness if you’ll ’ave the big tummy. How does that suit yer?’
‘I’d go through the whole lot for yer if I could, yer know that.’
Molly moved his arms from around her neck. ‘If yer could, we’d be in the money! Think how much the News of the World would pay for a story like that!’ She began to chuckle. ‘I can just see the headlines: MAN IN LIVERPOOL FIRST EVER TO BECOME PREGNANT. Yer’d be the talk of the wash-house!’
On Friday night, Molly was waiting for Jack to come in. ‘Will you go to the ’ossie with Ma, love, I want to go to the doctor’s.’
Jack had no need to ask why, he’d seen the worry lines on his wife’s face grow deeper each day. ‘Yes, of course I will. I’ll hurry me dinner down, have a swill and get round there as soon as I can.’
‘Are you sick, Mam?’ Jill asked, her face anxious.
Tommy came back from the hall after hanging his coat up. ‘What’s up with yer, Mam?’
‘Nothin’ to worry about,’ Molly told them. ‘Me tummy’s upset, that’s all. I must ’ave eaten somethin’ that didn’t agree with me.’
‘I’ll come to the surgery with yer, Mam.’ Doreen pushed her empty plate away. ‘Keep yer company.’
‘Don’t be daft, I don’t need a nursemaid! I only want him to give me somethin’ to settle me tummy. I’ll be there an’ back before yer know it, an’ I expect to find the dishes washed an’ the room tidy.’
There were four people in the surgery when Molly got there, so she had to keep her patience in check till her name was called.
Doctor Whiteside looked up from the papers on his desk. ‘Well, you’re a stranger, Molly! Is it anything to do with your father?’
‘No, it’s me that’s in lumber.’ She didn’t give herself time to be embarrassed, just blurted out the reason for her visit.
Doctor Whiteside was grinning by the time she’d finished. ‘You’re not expecting me to be able to tell you whether you’re pregnant or not, are you, Molly? It’s much too soon for that. You’ll have to come back in a few weeks and I’ll examine you.’
‘Could it be the shock of me da that’s caused it to be late? I’ve heard that can happen.’
‘Yes, it could be.’ The doctor laced his fingers together and spread them out on the desk. ‘How old are you, Molly?’
‘Thirty-nine, why?’
‘Has it ever crossed your mind that you could be in the change of life?’
Molly squinted at him. ‘At thirty-nine! I’m not old enough to be in the change of life!’
‘Molly, there is no special time for it! I know people think it only happens to women in their forties, but it’s not true. I have a patient, a young woman of twenty-two, and she is going through the change. Such a case is rare, but I’ve mentioned it to prove that there is no age limit.’
‘Well, I never!’ Molly rubbed her forehead. ‘So that’s why me periods have stopped?’
‘I didn’t say that, Molly, I just said it’s a possibility. And usually they don’t just stop like that,’ the doctor snapped his fingers, ‘they can be irregular for years before they finally stop altogether.’
‘Doctor, I could kiss you.’ Molly leaned forward on her chair and smiled. ‘Yer’ve taken a load off me mind.’
‘Molly, I didn’t say you weren’t pregnant! That’s something I can’t say with any certainty until I’ve examined you in a few weeks.’
‘No, but yer’ve given me a three to one chance. I could be in the family way, it could be the shock, or it could be the change of life.’ Molly scraped her chair back. ‘They’re better odds than the ones I came in with. Now I only need to worry eight hours out of the twenty-four.’
Doctor Whiteside burst out laughing. ‘Molly Bennett, you are incorrigible.’
‘Does that mean I’m past the post? Well, I’ve been called worse things than that, Doctor.’ She held her hand out. ‘Thanks. And take a good look at the smile on me face, ’cos if I’m back in a few weeks for an examination, that smile will be missing.’
On Saturday night, when Bridie called for Molly to go to the hospital, the two girls were getting ready for their big night at the Grafton.
‘Oh, ’tis grand yer both look,’ Bridie said. ‘As pretty as any film star I’ve ever seen. Turn around, so I can tell Grandad all about the pretty dresses yer have on.’
‘Aren’t they a pair of beauties?’ Jack was so full of pride he was near to tears. It was hard to believe that these two beautiful young ladies standing before him were the two skinny kids who used to run down the street to meet him coming home from work.
‘Doreen made ’er own dress, Ma, isn’t she clever?’ Molly, her troubles forgotten for the moment, was beaming with pride and pleasure. ‘If they don’t get a click tonight, I’ll eat me hat. At least I would if I ’ad a hat.’
‘Oh, how I wish yer grandad was here to see yez.’ Bridie’s voice was choked. ‘He’d be that proud, so he would.’
‘They’ll dress up for ’im when he comes ’ome, won’t yer, girls?’ Molly slipped her arms into her coat. ‘A special fashion show, just for him.’
Tommy came through from the kitchen where he’d been getting washed. He bent to kiss Bridie, whispering in her ear, ‘Sloppy pair of beggars.’
‘Away with yer now!’ She tapped his cheek. ‘’Tis proud of yer sisters yer should be.’
‘Oh, I am, Nan, I am!’ Tommy gave a wink before escaping to the privacy of his bedroom. Girls were a flipping nuisance, he thought. All they were good for was hogging the mirror over the fireplace when he wanted to comb his hair, chattering away when he was trying to read the paper and stinking the house out with their scent. Give him his mates any day.
Bridie knocked on the door of the side ward before pushing the door open. ‘Oh, merciful God, he’s not here!’
Molly pushed her out of the way. Sure enough the room was bare. The bed had been stripped and the bedside locker cleared of the flowers and Da’s favourite photographs. ‘Wait in the corridor, Ma, while I look for the sister.’
Molly had only gone two steps when the sister came hurrying towards them, the smile on her face easing the pain in Molly’s chest. ‘Your father’s been moved into the big ward. Come with me, I’ll take you to him.’
‘Praise be to God,’ Bridie whispered, making the sign of the cross as they trotted to keep up with the brisk walk of the sister. ‘Sure, didn’t I get the fright of me life?’
‘Me too!’ Molly admitted. ‘But it’s good news, Ma, isn’t it? Shows he’s on the mend.’
They turned into a big ward and right away Bridie spotted her beloved husband sitting up in the fifth bed down. Breaking into a run, she flew to his side.
Molly reached for the sister’s arm and pulled her to a halt. ‘Let them have five minutes on their own, shall we? Me ma got a terrible shock when she saw the empty room where he’s been since he came in. Thought somethin’ terrible had happened.’
‘I understand.’ The face beneath the starched cap smiled. ‘When she was in this morning the doctor hadn’t been on his rounds, and although we thought he was being moved, we weren’t sure.’
‘It’s a good sign, isn’t it?’ Molly asked. ‘It must mean he’s getting better.’
‘The doctor must think he’s better to have moved him to this ward. But I can’t tell you anything about your father’s condition, you’ll have to ask the doctor or Matron.’
‘Could I see the matron now, d’yer think? I’d like a word with her on me own, find out what the situation is.’
‘I’ll see if she’s in her office. Go and say hello to your father, and I’ll come f
or you when I find her.’
Bob’s eyes lit up when Molly approached the bed. ‘Hello, lass.’
She bent to kiss him. ‘Yer lookin’ great, Da, healthier than any of us! I bet yer glad to be in here with other men to talk to.’
Bob nodded. ‘I did get a bit fed up in that room on me own. But I’m all right now. And yer ma’s been cheering me up, telling me about the girls.’
Molly saw the sister standing at the bottom of the bed. ‘I won’t be a minute, Da, I’m goin’ to see the matron, ask when we can expect yer home.’
‘I’m not going anywhere, lass.’ Bob winked as Molly followed the sister to the matron’s office.
‘What did she say, Molly?’ Bridie was linking arms with her daughter as they walked down the long hospital path. ‘I know what yer told Da, but what I want is the truth.’
‘Like I said, it’ll be a few weeks before he’s allowed home.’ Molly was searching in her mind for words that would tell her mother, without upsetting her, what she had to know. ‘He’ll never be the same as he was, yer know that, don’t yer, Ma? He’ll have to take it very easy for the rest of ’is life.’
‘Molly, me darlin’ girl, I’m not stupid. I know Da will never be the same, know he’ll probably never work again. But don’t yer see, I don’t care! We’ve got a bit of money put by, we’ll manage. I’ll go out and scrub floors if need be! All I ask out of life is to have the man I love by my side, because without him I’d be lost. And I’ll make sure he takes life easy. He’s looked after me since the day we met, now it’s my turn to look after him.’
‘You won’t be on yer own, Ma, ’cos don’t forget we all love ’im, too!’
Sitting on the bus, Molly had a sickly feeling in her tummy. It’s all the flaming upset, she told herself. What with one thing and another, the last few weeks have been a nightmare. But when she stepped off the bus and felt a warm dampness between her legs, she thought she knew what the sickly feeling meant. ‘Ma, I’m dyin’ to go to the lavvy, I’ll have to make a dash for it. Will you be all right if I leave yer to walk home on yer own?’
‘Of course I will! Go on, you be on yer way.’
Molly gave her a quick peck. ‘I’ll see yer tomorrow. Ta-ra!’
Jack was sitting in front of a glowing fire reading the Echo when Molly burst in. ‘Where’s the torch, Jack?’
He blinked rapidly. ‘What d’yer want the torch for?’
‘To go to the lavvy! Where the ’ell is it?’
Jack held his box of matches out. ‘Take these! Yer don’t usually take the torch down the yard with yer.’
‘What I usually do, an’ what I’m doin’ now, are two different things.’ Molly was already in the kitchen going through the drawers. ‘I’ve seen the flamin’ things somewhere,’ she muttered, ‘but where?’ Then her hand touched the round case of the torch. ‘I’ve got it!’
Jack put the paper down, looking puzzled. What was all the excitement about? Molly had never made a fuss about going down the yard before. He was still trying to figure it out when she appeared in the doorway, beaming from ear to ear. ‘What’s goin’ on, Molly?’
‘D’yer want the good news first, or the bad news?’
Jack was nonplussed. She was up to something, but what? There was only one way to find out. ‘I’ll have the bad news first.’
Molly straightened her face and pressed her hand over her heart. ‘I’m sorry, but you’re not going to be a father.’
‘Go way, are yer sure?!’
‘Hang on a minute, there’s more bad news.’ Molly went into her Greta Garbo pose. The back of her hand on her forehead, she said in a low, sultry voice, ‘You’ll have to treat your wife with kid gloves, she’s going through the change of life.’
It was all too much for Jack. He doubled up with laughter, thinking it didn’t matter if she was having him on, it was so funny! ‘Molly,’ he chuckled, ‘will you ever grow up?’
‘Seein’ as how I’m in the change of life, I must be well grown up, Jack Bennett, so watch it!’
He wiped the tears away. ‘Is it true? Yer not havin’ a baby, and you’re in the change of life?’
‘Yes, my love, it’s all true.’ Molly was so relieved she felt as though she was floating on air.
‘I’m made up, love, honest I am.’ Jack breathed a loud sigh of relief. ‘I didn’t say too much to yer ’cos yer were worried enough, but I didn’t relish the thought of another baby. Not in this house anyway, because we’re cramped enough as it is.’ Then he remembered. ‘What’s the good news?’
‘Well, yer not goin’ to be a daddy, that was one piece of good news. The other is, me da’s been put in the big ward.’ Molly slipped her coat off and threw it on the couch. ‘Mind you, there’s good and bad news about me da. He’ll be comin’ home in a few weeks, all being well, but he’s goin’ to have to take things easy for the rest of ’is life. He won’t be able to work again, no lifting or stretching, no stress or worry – oh, there’s loads of things Matron told me, but I’ll make us a cuppa first, then tell yer all about it.’
The three girls put their cloakroom tickets in their bags and walked through the door to the ballroom. Mrs Wilf Hamer’s band was playing a quick-step and the dance floor was crowded. ‘We’ll never find anywhere to sit,’ Jill said, wanting to hide away and just watch the dancing.
‘Stop moanin’,’ Doreen told her, ‘we’ll find somewhere when the dance is finished.’ Her eyes were scanning the crowds around the floor. Then she spotted the group she was looking for. ‘I won’t be a tick.’
She was gone before Jill and Maureen knew what was happening. ‘Well, I like that!’ Maureen said. ‘Where’s she buzzed off to?’
Doreen pushed her way to the far side of the room where Mike and Sammy were standing with Steve. ‘Hi, fellers!’ She did a twirl. ‘Like me dress?’
‘Yeah, I sure do!’ Mike stared in admiration. ‘Yer look great!’
‘You and Sammy stay here a minute, I want a word with Steve.’ Doreen pulled a protesting Steve to the very back of the crowd. ‘I’m goin’ to tell yer something, but if yer let on to our Jill I’ve told yer, I’ll never speak to yer again. Will yer promise?’
‘Seeing as how I don’t see Jill, there’s not much chance of me tellin’ her, is there?’
‘Jill’s here.’
Steve felt as though someone had punched him in the stomach. ‘In that case, I’m leaving.’ He started to walk away, then turned back. ‘You planned this, Doreen Bennett, an’ I’ll never forgive yer.’
Doreen grabbed his arm. ‘Yer as stubborn as a mule, Steve McDonough, an’ I don’t know why I’m botherin’ with yer. But unless yer want me to scream the place down, yer’ll listen to what I’ve got to say. After that yer can please yerself for all I care.’
Doreen got back to her place just as the dance ended and the couples were walking back to their seats. ‘You’re a fine one, I must say.’ Maureen glared. ‘Fancy walkin’ off like that!’
‘I’m back now, Moanin’ Minnie.’ Doreen was waiting for the floor to clear so she could see if Steve had left as he’d threatened. But no, there he was, staring over at them. She felt Jill give a start. ‘What’s wrong, our kid?’
‘Steve’s here.’ Jill turned. ‘I’m going home.’
‘Oh, no, yer not!’ Doreen gripped her arm. ‘He only lives three doors away, for heaven’s sake! Yer bound to bump into ’im sometime, yer can’t keep running away. Just pretend he’s not here.’
Mike and Sammy joined Steve, their eyes on the girls. ‘Three best-lookin’ girls in the place,’ Mike said.
‘They sure are!’ Sammy agreed. ‘We’ll get Doreen and Mo up for the next dance before someone else claims them, eh?’
‘What about you, Steve?’ Mike asked, his face innocent. ‘Will you get Jill up?’
Steve didn’t answer because he didn’t hear. His eyes were glued on Jill, a longing in them that was matched only by the longing in his heart. She’d been in his thoughts every day, his dreams every n
ight. But she was even more lovely than he remembered. He didn’t see anybody else, just this vision in blue. After what Doreen had just told him, he realised what a stupid, jealous fool he’d been. It would serve him right if she never spoke to him again.
The band started to play ‘Night and Day’, a dreamy slow fox-trot. Mike and Sammy were already halfway across the room when Steve saw a man walking in the direction of the girls. He was going to ask Jill to dance! Steve moved quicker than he’d ever moved. He ran across the floor, getting to Jill just ahead of the man who already had his hand out ready to ask her to dance. ‘Will you have this dance with me?’
Jill glanced at the stranger’s hand, then Steve’s. Her head told her to reach for the stranger’s hand and ignore Steve, as he’d been ignoring her for the past few weeks. What does he take me for? she asked herself. Does he think I’m just someone he can pick up and throw down when the mood takes him? He’s got a cheek! But when she looked into the familiar face beneath the mop of dark brown hair, at the strong square jaw, the hazel eyes and the dimples in his cheeks which would deepen when he smiled, her heart overruled her mind.
‘I’m sorry.’ Jill smiled at the tall dark stranger before walking into Steve’s open arms.
‘Yer know I can’t dance, don’t yer?’ Steve’s heart was fluttering with nerves. For a minute there, he’d thought she was going to turn him down. And he wouldn’t have blamed her, it was only what he deserved.
‘That makes two of us.’ It was so good to be in his arms again, Jill didn’t care if they never moved off the one spot. ‘We always had two left feet.’
Steve pulled her closer and crooned in her ear, ‘“Night and day, you are the one”.’ His voice broke. ‘Jill, Jill, I’m so sorry.’
She moved back and their eyes locked. ‘Why, Steve?’
‘Because of my stupid jealousy.’ He would never break the promise he’d made to Doreen. ‘I couldn’t bear the thought of yer goin’ out with that feller from where yer work. The thought of ’im touchin’ yer was enough to drive me mad.’ He held her so tight she could hardly breathe. ‘An’ when I saw his car, I knew I couldn’t compete with him. Could never give yer the things he could.’
