by Noelle Adams
“You’re not a—”
“I might as well be. I’m not the right man for you, and we both know it. I do want to still be friends with you, baby, but I’m going to need some time to… to control myself first.”
All the hope I’d been fluttering with on and off for the past few weeks sprang to life in me fully, completely. I was blazing with it. Nothing to contain it.
I reached out to take his face in my hands, and I kissed him over and over again.
Alex was half kissing me back and half trying to pull away. “Baby,” he groaned. “Baby, please don’t. I’m on the verge of losing it again. Oh, fuck, baby, I love you so much.”
I was crying again, from joy this time. “I love you too. I love you so much.” I was mumbling the words against his lips.
His arms tightened around me, and he made a completely helpless sound.
I knew it meant he’d finally heard me—heard me for real.
I relaxed against him, my face still wet with tears but unable to stop smiling like an idiot.
“But we’re still in a bad situation,” Alex said, his tone more like himself now, composed and matter-of-fact. “Your parents are never going to accept you hooking up with someone like me.”
“I wouldn’t have thought so either, but my mother sat at the breakfast table this morning and said straight out that you would be a good match for me.”
His body jerked slightly. “She did not!”
“She did! I couldn’t believe it since… Well, you know how she is. But she’s evidently not seeing you as an employee. She’s seeing you as a future executive who owns his own company.” I giggled. “I’m not going to say it will be easy for you. She’s going to put all kinds of pressure on you. But she seems like she’d be okay with it. I guess she really has changed in the past year or two.” I adjusted so I could see his face. “But I love you no matter what, Alex. Whether my mother approves or not. I wouldn’t have let her stop me if it was something I’d ever thought was a possibility. But I thought… I assumed… you’d never want me as anything but a friend.”
“I tried so hard to make you think that,” he admitted. “I didn’t want you ever torn between me and your family. Plus…”
He trailed off, but I understood now. I understood everything.
“You didn’t think you were good enough for me.”
He gave me a sheepish smile. “I had all kinds of fantasies of me making a real success of myself and then coming back to… to sweep you off your feet. But I’m not there yet. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be there. If we… we try to make this work, there’s a real chance that you’ll be stuck with someone your mother will always be disappointed in.”
“I don’t care.” I kissed him, over and over again. “I don’t care. I won’t be disappointed in you, and that’s all that matters.”
He groaned and took my head in his hands. “You’re sure?”
“Of course I’m sure! I’ve been sure since I was sixteen. There’s never been anyone else for me but you.”
“For me too,” he murmured, pulling me down into a very soft kiss. “You’ve always been the only one for me too. The past few weeks have been torture for me since I thought you were serious about Stefan.”
“I was never serious. I was just trying to move on, and I couldn’t.”
“I don’t want you to ever move on from me.”
“I don’t think I ever will.”
We kissed for a while on the floor, and then it started to get too uncomfortable, so we stood up and Alex carried me over to the bed.
It would have been very romantic, but I was crying again, and he kept asking if I was all right.
We spent the rest of the morning in bed, and we were naked and tangled up together when Alex got a phone call.
He’d gotten his dream job in Provence.
***
One month later, I walked into a small cottage in the outskirts of Aix and saw that Alex’s progress in unpacking consisted of emptying several boxes and laying out all the contents in the middle of the floor.
There was barely any room to walk in the living room.
Alex had rented the cottage to live in since his job in Aix started next week. It wasn’t nearly as nice as the one we’d visited last month—this one was smaller, had a tiny garden, and didn’t have a pool—but there were lovely views out of every window, and I thought the place was cute and charming.
Or it would be, once all this stuff was put up.
“How did it go?” he asked as soon as I stepped inside. He was kneeling in front of a small bookshelf, on which he’d placed exactly four books. The rest were in stacks around him.
“Good,” I said, feeling a swell of excitement as I thought again about the conversation I’d had earlier.
“Well, tell me!” he demanded, gesturing for me to sit down on the floor beside him.
Every surface in the cottage was covered with stuff, so there was nowhere else to sit. I lowered myself beside him. “He was really nice. He didn’t even think it was strange that I’d just stopped by to talk to him.”
It had taken more courage than I’d known I possessed to go by and introduce myself to a professor at the local university without an invitation or opening.
“And you weren’t all tongue-tied?”
“I was at first, but I think I did all right. He asked me all kinds of questions about why I was interested in rare books, and he was really excited when I told him about the royal library and the work I did there. I think he wants to go to Villemont to see the books sometime this summer.”
“That’s great. And did he say there was any way you could work with him?”
“Yes. He said if I was admitted to the university, we could set up some sort of assistantship or internship. I guess rare books isn’t a very popular field, so it’s not like he has people beating down his door to work with him.” Despite the bland words, I almost hugged myself with excitement. “It seems like it might actually work out.”
“So you think you’ll move here in the fall?” Alex asked, his face characteristically composed, although his eyes were glinting with the same excitement I was feeling.
“If I get admitted to the university.” A few weeks ago, I’d applied for a graduate program in literature at the large university in the area. There wasn’t a specific program there dealing with rare books—there weren’t enough people interested to make it a widely available degree—but I’d learned that most people learned the field by working with an expert anyway, and the person who knew the most about rare books in the area was the professor I’d talked to earlier today.
And he was willing to work with me.
“Of course you will. There’s no question about that.” He cleared his throat. “I’m… uh, assuming that you’d want to move in here with me if everything works out.”
My lips wobbled slightly as I tried to suppress a smile. “If you want me to,” I said, very gravely.
He let out a sudden burst of sound. “You think I don’t want you to live with me?”
I chuckled at his expression. “I was just making sure.”
We’d been together for just a month, so maybe it was quick work to be considering living together so soon. But I’d known and loved Alex all my life, and it didn’t feel soon to me. It felt like I’d been waiting for this forever, and it was finally, finally happening.
I was moving away from home, starting a graduate program, working with an expert in rare books that might lead to a career I’d never dreamed I might have, moving in with Alex, who was completely in love with me.
I could hardly believe it was me. Lisette Rothman. And all these things were finally happening to me, after so many years of waiting.
Alex grabbed me and pulled me down to the floor so he was lying on top of me. And he showed me exactly how much he loved me, how much he wanted me to move in with him.
He’d been waiting, hoping, dreaming of this to happen for years too.
Epilogue
Six months later, I woke up in my old bedroom in Villemont. I rolled over groggily and smiled when I realized that Alex was still beside me.
We’d come to Villemont for a short holiday, and he had his own room as a guest in the palace. Since we were unmarried, my mother would never have put us in the same room.
He’d snuck into my bedroom late last night, though, saying he felt strange in the guest room all alone.
We hadn’t had sex, but we’d talked for a long time, and he must have fallen asleep like I had.
It was still early, but it was morning now. I gave him a little poke.
He groaned and scowled, his eyes still closed.
“You better get to your own room,” I murmured.
He mumbled something incomprehensible.
“My mother is coming, Alex,” I said in a slightly sharper tone. “Get up. Quick!”
He jumped out of the bed so fast I gasped, yanking on a pair of pajama pants and turning urgently toward the door in the posture of a man prepared to flee.
I dissolved into giggles at his dramatic reaction.
He scowled at me again, this time fully awake. “That was cruel,” he muttered, visibly relaxing as he sat on the edge of the bed. “First thing in the morning too.”
I tried to control my amusement but didn’t have much luck. “It is probably a good idea for you to get back to your own room before too many people start wandering the halls.”
“I know.” He rubbed his face and then glanced back toward me. His face softened visibly as he gazed down on me.
“What?” I demanded, tucking a stray curl behind my ear. “Is my hair a mess?”
“You’re beautiful.”
“I am not.”
He shook his head and leaned down toward me. “You’re beautiful. And the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.” He pressed a gentle kiss against my lips. “And I can’t believe you’re mine.”
“I feel the same way about you. You know that perfectly well.”
“You really think I’m beautiful?” The corner of his mouth twitched slightly, although his face was admirably composed.
“You know I do.” I gave him another quick kiss and then gave him a little push. “Now get to your own room, or I’ll have to hear a lecture from my mother about proper princess behavior.”
Alex was laughing as he left, but he quieted and paused at the door to check the hallway before he slipped out.
I was smiling as I sat up.
We’d been together now for six months, but the truth was, I still had trouble believing that I was this happy and that Alex was really mine.
***
We went down to the breakfast room together when we were dressed. I’d thought we were early, but both my parents were already there, and so were Henry, Jack, and Amalie.
“Wow! Everyone got up early this morning,” I said with a smile.
Jack and Amalie were visiting for the week. Last night, they’d announced that they were engaged.
My mother was ecstatic about another wedding to plan, which meant that Alex and I were out of the hot seat for the time being.
He hadn’t said anything about marriage for us in the future, but I knew it was a good possibility and it was what I wanted.
We had plenty of time though. I could wait.
“Do you have resident ghosts in this palace?” Jack asked with his typical, laid-back good humor.
“Ghosts? Certainly not.” My mother’s tone was brisk, as if no ghost would dare to improperly breach the walls of her home.
“Why do you ask that?” Henry asked, looking genuinely interested.
Jack gave a small shrug. “I just thought I heard someone wandering the halls last night.”
Alex and I shared a surreptitious look that Amalie must have caught. She turned away, hiding a smile.
My mother just tsked her tongue and didn’t pursue the topic.
Victoria and Edward walked in then. Since dinner last night had gone so late and Victoria was only a week or two from the due date of their baby, they’d stayed the night instead of going back to their own home.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, seeing that she looked very tired.
“Someone please just pop me now,” she groaned, both hands on her rounded belly.
Edward didn’t say anything, but he kept a supportive hand on her back.
Henry got up to get her a glass of milk and a plate of toast and fruit, and my father glanced up from his tablet. “I didn’t know you were still here, Victoria,” he said absentmindedly. “Did you and Edward spend the night?”
I experienced an unexpected flood of joy, comfort, familiarity, homecoming at being surrounded by my family this way and another wave of joy at the absolute knowledge that Alex was now part of my family too.
My mother must have been feeling something similar. She gave a satisfied nod. “Don’t complain, dear. You’re carrying our first grandchild. All is going exactly as it should be. Now all we need is for Henry to settle down, and everything will be settled quite nicely.”
Henry blinked as everyone’s eyes turned toward him. “I’m just fine. Really.”
“Perhaps, dear,” my mother said. “But think how much better you’d be with a wife.”
***
If you haven’t yet read them, be sure to check out Amalie’s book, A Princess Next Door, and Victoria’s book, A Princess for a Bride. Henry’s book, Christmas with a Prince, will be coming out in November of this year.
My next release is Bay Song, a standalone romance. You can find an excerpt from it on the following pages.
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Excerpt from Bay Song
As he walked back, he dried his face and chest. When he reached her, Holly was stretched out on her towel, her body displayed in a way that sent a surge of desire through him, most of it centered in his groin. Her suit was pretty much transparent now. The strings and fabric were stretched and thin. That bikini must be twenty years old.
“I’m exhausted,” she said, her eyes closed and arms stretched up above her head. Then she squinted at him in an exaggerated glare. “Why aren’t you tired too?”
He almost laughed at the irony. He must be a better actor than he thought. “I am,” he admitted, lowering himself to sit beside her on the sand. “I feel like I might just fall over.”
“Good.” She was doing that suppressed smile thing, and it made her face look absolutely enchanting—almost as attractive to him as her body.
He couldn’t keep his eyes from crawling over her long limbs and firm curves though. She was only a few inches away from him, and her breasts alone made him want to howl. He felt the erection that had tightened earlier get a little harder as he gazed at her. Soon it was going to be uncomfortable.
“Don’t get too turned on,” she said without opening her eyes. “Nothing is going to happen.”
“I know that. But there’s not any sense in trying to reason with my body. It does what it does, no matter how sternly I lecture it differently.”
She chuckled, and he was irrationally pleased that he’d managed to amuse her. She opened her eyes to meet his again. “If it’s going to be a problem for you, then you’ll need to leave. This isn’t an invitation.”
“I know it isn’t. I’m not a lumbering buffoon who thinks a body is only there for me to touch. It’s not going to be a problem for me.” He noticed that she didn’t offer to cover up. That was interesting and not a normal response for a woman—at least for the women he’d known before.
She wasn’t taking any responsibility at all for the state of his body, even though she was lying next to him mostly naked.
“Good. Then you can stay for a little while.”
“Thanks.” His voice was dry but not sarcastic.
She smiled again and relaxed on her towel, obviously enjoying the feel of the sun and the breeze.
Cade adjusted his position and tried to enjoy it too, alt
hough his mind was whirling with too many questions and responses.
“It doesn’t bother you?” he asked after a minute.
She turned her head to look up at him. “What doesn’t bother me?”
“My sitting here staring at you like this.”
“You weren’t staring just now. You were looking out at the bay, trying to get less turned on.”
She was exactly right, although how she’d realized it with her eyes closed he had no idea. “But I was staring at you earlier. It doesn’t bother you?”
“No. Why would it?”
“I don’t know. A lot of women are self-conscious about people staring at their bodies. And since you seem to be… reluctant to socialize, I would have thought it would be harder for you.”
“No. I think people are self-conscious because they want other people to think well of them, more so about the parts of them that are most intimate. I couldn’t care less about whether you like my body or not.”
She was speaking the truth. He could tell. It was so different from what he was used to that he had trouble wrapping his mind around it.
“And lying here like this doesn’t feel very intimate to me anyway. I’d far rather you see me naked than set foot into my house.”
She was telling him the truth about that too. He wondered whether something was in the house that made it so off-limits or if it was just a private sanctuary that no one but her could ever enter.
There were still far too many questions about her than answers. He might have seen her mostly naked, but he had barely scratched the surface of who she was.
He wondered why she’d allowed him to swim with her this evening, why she wasn’t sending him away now.
“You interest me,” she said at last, as if she had read his mind. “I can’t quite figure you out.”
“Same here,” he said, speaking only the truth.
“No one has really interested me in a long time.” Her words drifted off as if she was speaking to herself.
He didn’t give her the answer out loud, but the same was true of him. He wanted—needed—to know more about her. It made him feel alive, so alive that he wondered if he’d been living half-dead for the past few years.
