“You know, he taught us well.” He stood smiling at her on her porch.
She smiled back. “I think he did. We’re going to do a good job of it here,” she said with a warm look. “Thanks, Thad.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek, which surprised him, and then she opened the door and walked into her house. It had been a nice evening, and she knew they were going to do good work together. A minute later, he drove away. And he was smiling too.
Chapter 5
Gemma’s descent into hell was almost complete in the next week. They had the final show to film, everyone on the set was tense. Her agent had drummed up no work for her, not even makeshift money jobs, or appearances on other shows. He told her it might take a few months. Hollywood was dead in the summer, so things might not pick up until the fall. She was hit with an avalanche of bills for items she had forgotten she’d bought or money she’d spent for services. It seemed like her overhead was out of control, and she was paying close attention now. She realized that she was paying six thousand dollars a month to her gardener, who hardly ever showed up, and never got it right when he did. She had forgotten that she’d had her fence painted for ten thousand dollars. It seemed like every time she turned around, someone was gouging her, and she had been letting it happen for months, or even years.
In a moment of panic, she called a realtor and put her house on the market to rent for the summer. Two days later, a well-known actor came to see it and loved it, and agreed to rent it for three months. She had to be out in a week, but he was willing to pay a fortune, while he was filming on location in L.A. He was supposedly a quiet sort, and he was going to be living there alone. His wife and kids were at their house in Montana for the summer, so there wouldn’t be much wear and tear on her place. She hated to move out, but she needed the money. She priced some studio apartments after that for herself, and they were ridiculously overpriced, so suddenly she didn’t know where to live in L.A.
They wrapped the series, everyone sobbed when they said goodbye, the technicians, the actors, the producers. She was depressed when she drove home, in the small Japanese car she was leasing that was even cheaper than the Ford. Everything about her life was depressing. Overnight she felt like a has-been, and wondered if she’d ever work again. It felt like she wouldn’t. There were people she liked to hang out with, but she didn’t call them. She was ashamed to be out of work. In Hollywood you were a pariah, and no one, once you weren’t on a show. She had forgotten what that was like, in the past ten years.
Kate called her the night they wrapped the show. “How’s it going?” she said cheerfully. She’d had a good day with Thad, planning the next auction. They were selling more livestock than usual, and had sent out a huge mailing, which had been his idea.
“Don’t ask. I’m looking for a studio apartment. They’re insanely expensive.”
“Why don’t you just stay here?” Kate suggested again. “It’s free. You have a house, and you can drive to L.A. when you need to.” Gemma hated the thought, but she didn’t have any other options. She had to be out in three days for the actor who had rented it, and wanted to have the carpets cleaned before he arrived.
“Maybe for a few weeks. If I find a decent studio, I can come back. It really feels like rewinding the film, though, to some of the worst days of my life, when all I wanted to do was get out of there.”
“It’s temporary, Gem, it’s not forever. Just until you find work, and get a few jobs under your belt, or a part on another show.”
“I hope so. If I wind up back in the Valley for good, I think I’ll shoot myself.”
“No, you won’t. You’ll be working again by the fall.”
“Tell my agent that. He acts like I’m a hundred years old. Maybe I should get my eyes done again while I have the time. And a boob job. I swear, they’re an inch lower than they were last year. Maybe he’s right.”
“You don’t need your eyes done, or a boob job. I know twenty-year-olds who would kill to have a body like yours.”
“Well, for five thousand a month to my trainer, six thousand to my gym, two thousand to my Pilates class, and another three to my fancy yoga coach, they can have this body. Surgery would be cheaper,” she said, and her sister laughed. “My trainer and my yoga coach have their own TV shows.”
“Jesus, that’s a lot of money to look as good as you do. I’m glad I live up here. So what do you think? Do you want to come up for a while?”
“Not really. I’d rather cut my liver out with an ice pick. But I don’t have much choice, for the moment. Maybe I’ll stay at the ranch for a month.”
“You can stay for as long as you want,” Kate said warmly. “It would be nice to have you here, even for a while. I’m hoping Caroline will come down for a few days before they go to Aspen. I think the kids get out of school this week.” Kate was busy with the upcoming auction, but she liked the idea of her sisters staying at the ranch. Juliette was leaving soon too. Now that her father was gone, Kate would have no one to talk to at night. Thad had a new flame, so it was going to be a lonely summer, although Thad’s romances never lasted long. He said this one was different, but they always were. She was twenty-two, a waitress at a local bar. He always managed to find someone new.
“I’ll let you know,” Gemma said, sounding distracted, and they hung up a few minutes later. Kate called Caroline after that, to see if she wanted to come down. She didn’t sound enthused either, and told Peter about it when she hung up.
“Maybe you should,” he said gently. “Your sister works like a dog on that ranch. And with your father gone, it all rests on her. You’re a part owner there now too. It might be nice for her to have some support and company. It’s a lonely life for her.” It was the first time Peter had been that sympathetic to Kate, and she was touched. He made Caroline feel guilty for not seeing her more often, but she had just been there with the kids, and for her father’s funeral only weeks before.
“She loves that life. I don’t think she’s lonely. But I do think she works too hard. If she was lonely, she’d try to meet a guy, and she doesn’t. All she does is work.”
“You’re a good distraction for her with the kids. And they seem to love it down there,” Peter reminded her, and leaned over and kissed her. She really didn’t want to leave him.
“You don’t mind my going?” She didn’t like deserting him, especially to go to the ranch, which she didn’t enjoy anyway. But she’d had a nice weekend there with her sisters, and Morgan and Billy had loved it. She was looking forward to the weeks they were going to spend in Aspen at the house they rented, although Peter had said he was going to have trouble getting away. He was planning to spend a week or two with them, and to come out for as many weekends as he could, if his big deal went well. She’d heard the house they’d rented was fabulous. A friend of theirs had rented it for his family last year. Peter always provided wonderful vacations for them. She just hoped he’d be able to enjoy it with them. He was working late every night on his deal.
Caroline still felt guilty leaving him alone in Marin, just to go see her sisters. She hadn’t seen them this much in years, although it had been nice spending time with them and reconnecting. It was different at the ranch now without her father there. He wasn’t an overbearing presence, showing off, and telling everyone what to do. She could never understand how Kate had stood working for him for all these years, but now at least she could run it the way she wanted, after twenty years of doing his bidding, and having to do everything his way, although Kate had never complained. In Caroline’s opinion, she was a saint and had more than paid her dues.
* * *
—
With a heavy heart, Gemma packed some summer clothes to take to the Valley, put several racks and suitcases in storage, emptied some closets and locked others, had the carpet cleaners in, and was ready for her tenant on the appointed day. She hated to leave her house, and leave L.A. even for a month. But
she would have been on hiatus and away anyway. Her agent had no work for her, and no auditions, and at least at the ranch, she wouldn’t be spending any money. It was a way to save for a month, with her funds running out at a rapid rate. Caroline had called her and was going to the ranch for a week with her kids, so they would all be there together. A month seemed like an eternity to Gemma, and Kate was trying to get her to stay longer. But all she could think about for now was one month, and she’d see how she felt at the end of it. If she was crawling out of her skin, or morbidly depressed, she was going back to L.A., whether she had work or not. A studio apartment somewhere in L.A. might be less depressing than the ranch, which was always a painful déjà vu for her.
Gemma left her house with a rented van full of bags of the clothes she was bringing to the ranch, including clothes she might need for auditions, her exercise equipment, her favorite cappuccino machine, and everything she could take with her. The rent she was getting for her house would more than cover her mortgage so she would be saving some money for three months, though less if she went back and rented an apartment in L.A.
She arrived at the ranch looking like a refugee on the run. Kate showed up to welcome her, as Gemma was hauling bags out of the car and dragging them into the guesthouse she always used when she was there.
“Good lord, what is all this stuff?” Kate asked, laughing at her. She was carrying barbells into the living room, her mountain bike was leaning against the wall on the porch.
“I just brought the bare necessities,” Gemma said, looking exhausted and stressed. “I thought the house was bigger. I think it shrank.”
“I think you’ve grown. How many bags did you bring?”
“How many closets are there?”
Kate looked worried. “Three, I think. Maybe four.” She helped Gemma with her bags, and within minutes, they had created a mess of boxes and suitcases in every room. There was hardly any furniture, just the bare minimum in the bedroom, a bed and a chest, a couch, a coffee table and two chairs in the living room, and no TV, but Gemma had brought one, just in case, and her computer. The little guesthouse had never been properly furnished since she almost never used it, and as she looked around, she wanted to cry. She was ready to pack up and leave. “Why don’t you come down to my place for a glass of wine?” Kate suggested. “I’ll come back with you later and help you unpack. Thad is bringing me some papers to sign.” Gemma followed her out of the cottage, and got into Kate’s truck. They drove down the hill to Kate’s house, which was only slightly bigger. She opened a bottle of wine and handed Gemma a glass. Kate was smiling at her sister, who looked flustered and upset. “And to think I used to share a room with you.”
“I didn’t have as much stuff then.” But she’d always had more than her sister, and her closets had been stuffed. Kate had never had Gemma’s interest in clothes, and still didn’t. Juliette showed up a few minutes later and greeted Gemma with a warm hug. And then Thad arrived with the papers for Kate to sign, and they disappeared into the kitchen.
“You can stay at my house if you want,” Juliette offered. “I’m leaving soon.”
“No, I’m going to make it work. I just need to figure it out,” Gemma said, looking distracted, already missing her house in L.A., and sorry that she’d rented it. She hated being broke. She wasn’t yet, but would be soon. Renting her house had been the right thing to do. But she wasn’t sure that coming to the ranch was. Even with her father gone, she could feel his presence there, and her memories of his dominating all of them were strong.
Kate and Thad walked back into the room with the signed papers, and he chatted with Gemma for a few minutes and offered to lend a hand if she needed it, but she insisted she was fine. When she finished her wine, she walked back up the hill, determined to solve the puzzle of where to put her stuff. Kate offered to come up, but Gemma wanted to do it herself. She wrestled with bags and boxes and garment bags for the rest of the night, but she managed to get it all in. There was a tiny second bedroom, which she turned into a closet with rolling racks she had brought. She packed them in as tightly as she could. And she put her empty suitcases on the porch to put in Kate’s garage the next day. She put her barbells there too, since it was warm enough to exercise outside. She sat down on the couch and made a list of everything she needed to make it feel like home, and she knew exactly what she wanted to do.
Kate showed up the next morning at nine. She’d been working for three hours by then, and was impressed that Gemma had managed to put everything away. She even had shoe racks set up between the rolling racks in the tiny room.
“You’re a magician,” Kate said with admiration. “I can never figure out where to put two shirts and a pair of jeans.”
“I’m good with wardrobe changes.” Gemma grinned at her. She felt less panicked than she had the day before. She had a list of things she wanted to get from town. She had called a number she had used before in L.A. for things she knew she couldn’t get in the Valley. They had promised to deliver the next day.
“If you need furniture, we’ve got some leftovers in the barn,” Kate said helpfully. “Thad can bring it over for you.”
“I’m all set,” she said, and took off half an hour later, and waved as she drove by Juliette leaving her house to go to the office. She wanted to get the books in good order before she left for France and had found a bookkeeper to help Kate while she was gone.
Gemma was back from town in two hours, and stopped in to see Kate in her office. She looked busy, with ledgers all over her desk, and a pencil stuck in her hair, which was pulled back in a braid.
“Do you know they have a nail salon in town now?” she said, looking pleased, and Kate laughed, and glanced down at her own, which were cut short. She hadn’t worn nail polish since her teens, when Gemma used to do her nails for her.
“I’m thrilled to hear it,” she teased her sister. But she was relieved to see her in good spirits, and not looking as though she was ready to run, as she had the night before. She hadn’t even bothered to eat dinner while she unpacked. She was determined to make the guesthouse feel like home, as best she could.
“They have a new shoe store, which is a little sketchy, and the hardware store is pretty good,” Gemma reported. “The drugstore has some decent magazines for a change. Civilization has hit the Valley.” And three people had recognized her and asked for her autograph, which made her feel like a star again. The last few weeks in L.A. had been so depressing, once everyone knew that the show was going off the air. Nothing made an actor feel worse than being out of work. But she was a big star here, and everywhere she went, people smiled and knew who she was. She had even run into a girl she’d gone to school with, with her three teenagers in tow. Gemma was shocked by how old she looked.
Kate was a star in her own right here too, as the owner of the biggest ranch in the Valley. But no one asked for her autograph, and she didn’t need them to. Gemma did. Kate understood that about her. Gemma needed the validation that she existed and was important, and people cared. Kate had lived in her father’s shadow all her life, and was used to it and didn’t mind. All she needed to know was that she was doing a good job. Thad said she was, more than her father ever had.
“Well, I won’t keep you from work,” Gemma said, and started to walk out of her office. “When is Caroline arriving?”
“Tomorrow,” Kate said, amused by her sister. She’d seen more of her in the last month than she had in years, but she enjoyed it. She was reminded of their differences, the same ones they’d had as kids growing up. As Daddy’s Girl, Gemma had been the star. Caroline had been invisible, and the star student. And Kate had been the peacemaker and the pleaser. She wanted everyone to be happy, especially her father, and to get along. She had gone on to serve him as an adult, to be his support team, his backstage person behind the scenes, the one who did all the work and never got the credit, as long as he was happy.
&n
bsp; And now here they were as grown-ups. Caroline deferred to her husband for every move she made and every decision. She respected his career, his success, and how smart he was. And Peter was proud of her books. She had a successful writing career she never talked about, she was always discreet and modest about herself. She lived below the radar, and always put the spotlight on Peter. Caroline didn’t like it when people noticed her too much. And meanwhile, Gemma was signing autographs in the Santa Ynez Valley, after her show was canceled, and needed the attention desperately. The two sisters couldn’t have been more different.
The only thing changed now for Kate was that she was no longer the understudy, the invisible assistant. She was running the whole show, and for once she wasn’t pleasing anyone but herself. It was brand new to her, since her father’s sudden death, and more than a little scary, but she was in the driver’s seat now, and much to her own amazement, she liked it. She had finally come into her own at forty-two. She missed her father terribly, but she didn’t miss being his minion or his slave, or the person he ignored while he took credit for what she did, and just assumed she would continue doing it forever, and she probably would have. But fate had intervened and freed the slaves. She was no longer working for her father, after twenty years of it. She was working for herself. At Juliette’s suggestion, she had increased her meager salary by a small amount. She could have taken more, and Juliette thought she should, but like her father, she didn’t like taking too much money out of the ranch, and she said she didn’t need it.
Thad thought she was doing a great job, but even if she wasn’t, she was following her own intelligence and her instincts, and her own ideas. She hoped she was doing a good job of it, but if not, she was going to make her own mistakes too. It was her turn now, she was ready, and it felt good. Her father had always treated her like a slightly lesser being, as though her opinions were not quite valid, her voice didn’t need to be heard. He was in charge at all times, and she was a lowly foot soldier. And suddenly she was running the whole show, and managing very nicely. Thad was helping her, but she was making the decisions, and willing to be accountable for them. She was actually enjoying it. She was smiling thinking about it as Thad walked into the office and saw the pleased look on her face. She was sitting at her father’s desk because she’d been looking for something.
Daddy's Girls Page 8
