“She is,” Kate agreed.
“And Jimmy told you she had died?”
Kate nodded. “He lied. For all of our lives.” He was a man of many facets, and not always the hero he appeared, as they all knew. He used the truth when it was useful, but he was not above lying, if it served his purposes better. Thad knew it too.
Kate showed her mother and Roberto around the barns after they arrived, and the various aspects of the ranch. And Juliette joined them right before lunch. Kate had warned her of the visit, and explained the circumstances to her. She was shocked.
“I didn’t know any of that. He never told me,” Juliette said with a disapproving look. “I would have told you or made him tell you.”
“He kept it a secret from all of us too,” Kate said to her.
“That is so wrong,” she said in her heavy accent. “I would have made him allow you to see your mother, if I’d known. Girls need their mothers, and boys too. And I could not be a mother to you, only your friend. I think he wanted you to himself.” Kate thought so too. It was incredibly selfish of him, which wasn’t a surprise either. Their hero had feet of clay.
There was no tension when the two women met. Scarlett greeted Juliette warmly, and Juliette hugged her and told her that she was so glad she wasn’t dead, which made everyone laugh. Scarlett sat surrounded by her daughters, and chatted with her grandchildren, while Roberto entertained everyone with stories about growing up at his family’s vineyards in Tuscany, and the grandmother who ruled them all, and still did at a hundred and four. Roberto was the same age as their mother, and they both looked younger than they were.
They all went for a long walk after lunch, and Scarlett and Roberto reluctantly left at six o’clock, with promises to host lunch in Santa Barbara soon. She wanted to get to know each of her daughters. They couldn’t recapture the past, but she wanted to take full advantage of the present. She had even spent some time talking to Morgan and Billy.
Kate made them promise to come back to the ranch. The whole family stood waving at them as they left, and Scarlett was beaming and crying again. It had been a truly remarkable day.
“Dad must be spinning in his grave,” Gemma said to Kate with a grin as they drove away. “He lied to us for thirty-nine years, he’s barely cold in his grave, and she’s back and we’re all in love with her. It serves him right. What a rotten thing to do to her and to us. He ruined her life.”
“She seems all right. Roberto’s a nice man,” Kate said gently.
“Yes, but imagine not seeing your kids for nearly forty years, and our growing up with no mother. How do you live with impacting that many lives? Answer me that.”
“He didn’t ruin ours. We all turned out okay, in spite of it. And she made a bad choice. She says it herself. He forced her to live up to it, which was wrong of him. Maybe he thought he was doing the right thing.” Kate always tried to be fair.
“I think it was his revenge because she left him for another man. You don’t like to admit it, but he had a cruel streak, and he could be a son of a bitch when he wanted to be.” Kate didn’t deny it, but she forgave him more easily than her sisters. Caroline couldn’t get over what he’d done either, and said it would have killed her to lose her children.
“But you wouldn’t leave yours either,” Kate reminded her.
“I don’t think any of us know what that kind of poverty is like, total hopelessness and no money to feed your kids or go to a doctor. People steal in situations like that, and kill people. They’re lucky they both got out. Most people don’t,” Gemma said with compassion. “It must have been frightening for both of them.”
“But he had us. I think Dad was terrified of ever being poor again,” Kate said, and they all knew that about him. It was why he was so proud of Gemma and her luxurious lifestyle. To him that was the pinnacle of achievement, but in fact a lot of it had been smoke and mirrors, and his was by far the greatest accomplishment to save his money, and own a ten-thousand-acre ranch to pass on to his children. Gemma was well aware of it and the hollow victories of her success, no matter how glamorous they appeared.
She was looking extremely stressed as she continued to get calls from her creditors, demanding that she pay her bills. Several were threatening to sue her. She was still waiting for her severance from the show, and they promised it would arrive any day. It hadn’t yet. Her tenant was covering her mortgage payments, but there were countless other bills that were continuing to arrive, and her maid in L.A. was forwarding them to the ranch. She looked unhappy every time the mail came.
She told Kate that she wanted to get out from under the crushing weight of what she owed. She was going to sell the house at the end of the summer lease, even though she loved it. She wanted to pay off her debts and start fresh. And she had decided to cash out her share of the ranch and start investing money. She could stay there at her little cottage anyway, even if she was no longer a part owner.
“Do you think Thad is really serious about buying my third? Or is it just talk?” she asked Kate one night after dinner. “Or do you want to?”
“It’s not a great time for me to come up with the money, and I know you need it right away.” Some of the people she owed money to were threatening to sue her. “I’m sure Thad means it. He loves this place as much as Dad did. I haven’t figured out what part I would sell him yet. I think the pastures at the north end. I’ve got to get an assessor out here to figure it out, and then we need to set a price on it. I’ll start the wheels turning.”
“Do you hate me for it?” Gemma asked her.
“No. I understand, you need to get on your feet, and have money in the bank. I just hope Caroline doesn’t decide to cash out too, and that Peter doesn’t talk her into it. I hate to start chopping up what Dad worked so hard to build.” But with ten thousand acres, they knew that a third of it on the far side of the land wouldn’t make too much difference, and Thad would be a good neighbor and an ally they could trust, which was important too if they were going to sell. They didn’t want someone spoiling the area, or building a hotel, or some commercial venture. Thad would never do that, he wanted to set up a small ranch, and continue to run theirs, which was an ideal arrangement, and Kate needed his help.
They had a meeting with him two days later, where he confirmed his interest to Gemma, and Kate called in an assessor after that. They found a perfect piece of land, which wouldn’t have an impact on their main areas of operation, and Thad liked the location that Kate had picked. The size was almost exactly a third of the land they owned, but in an area they wouldn’t miss. Thad was going to have a narrow road built to connect it to the ranch, for only his use and theirs. Both the realtor and the assessor helped them come up with a fair price, which Gemma was pleased with, and Thad could afford, at fair market value.
Gemma was greatly relieved that that money was coming, and Thad made a good faith down payment, which gave her some relief from her debts. But she still wanted to sell her L.A. house. She had made the decision and stuck to it, and had notified her tenant, in case he was interested in buying it without a realtor’s commission, before it went on the market. He was thinking about it. And Gemma started to look more relaxed.
They all enjoyed the rest of Caroline’s stay, and she and the children were genuinely sad to leave. They had covered a lot of ground. Morgan and Billy had fun, the girls had met their mother, and they’d spent some good time together on the ranch among sisters.
Gemma and Kate saw them off the morning they left, and their nephew and niece hugged them and thanked them for a wonderful time. They were sorry now they were going to Aspen, and wanted to stay. But Caroline wanted to see Peter. She felt slightly guilty for having been gone for more than a week, but it had done her good. And she wanted to tell him all about Scarlett, and how meaningful it had been to her. She’d told him on the phone, but wanted to tell him the details in person. He had been very move
d by the story.
Caroline had had a lovely time with her sisters. She enjoyed the ranch so much more now without her father looming. But she was anxious to see Peter before they left for Aspen. She was grateful that he had been so understanding about letting her spend the time with her sisters on the ranch. He had been very sweet about it, and sent her text messages every day, hoping she was having fun and relaxing.
Caroline and the children were home in Marin by lunchtime, and the house looked surprisingly orderly. He hadn’t left a mess. The refrigerator was full. Their cleaning person had left everything tidy, and Peter was good about that too. He was organized and neat, and she never came home to a mess. Once she was home, she realized how much she had missed him. They had texted and talked on the phone while she was away, but it wasn’t the same as face-to-face, or having his arms around her. He was planning to be home for dinner that night, and she bought steaks, which she knew he loved, artichokes, his favorite dessert, and put flowers on the dining table. Both children had plans to go out with friends, so Peter and she would have time alone, and maybe enough time for a little romance before they got home. She smiled at the thought. He was a thoughtful lover, and even after seventeen years of marriage, they had an active sex life that they both enjoyed. As reserved as he was, in their private moments, he could be very loving. And he had told her several times on the phone that he couldn’t wait for her to get back.
She unpacked that afternoon after she dropped Morgan and Billy off at their friends’, got almost everything put away, and opened the drawer of her night table to drop in a book she hadn’t finished reading, and her reading glasses, which she had just gotten, and stared into the drawer with a look of surprise. She usually kept things to read in it, a pad and pen, and now her new glasses. Instead, she found herself staring at several packets of condoms, some flavored sex lubricant, and a blue Goyard datebook that wasn’t hers. She felt as though she had been stabbed, or a bomb had gone off in her face when she opened the drawer. Her head was reeling and she felt sick. There was no way to explain the condoms and the lubricant except that he had used them with someone else. They didn’t use condoms, because they didn’t have other partners and she was on the pill, and had been for years. And she was allergic to lubricant, and they didn’t need it.
She took the datebook out, feeling strangled, and wondering who it belonged to. She didn’t have far to look. The girl’s name was written on the front page, Veronica Ashton, with her address, phone number, and email address, in case the datebook was found. Not even feeling guilty, but suddenly ill, she flipped through it and rapidly found printed out photos of a woman in various highly suggestive positions, and three photos of them having sex, two of Peter naked, smiling at the camera, and two more of his erect penis, and she had drawn a heart around it in red marker. Caroline didn’t know whether to cry, scream, or throw up. She suddenly realized why he had been so encouraging of her spending time with her sisters at the ranch.
She went through the drawer and didn’t find anything else, but that was enough. There was no thong underwear under the bed, and feeling even sicker, she went around the bed, and checked the drawer in Peter’s night table, where she found half a dozen gynecological photographs of the same girl, which left nothing to the imagination. He had obviously forgotten the photographs in the drawer, or didn’t know they were there. She sat on her bed, feeling paralyzed, and burst into tears. She lay there for what seemed like hours, and then got up, washed her face, didn’t bother to change as she had planned, put the photographs from his drawer in the stack with the others, and sat in a chair in the living room, waiting for him to come home. She had no idea what she was going to say to him, or where to go from here. Should she leave him, divorce him, move out, throw him out, demand an explanation, or call a lawyer? There was nothing he could say to undo what she’d found. It was obvious what had gone on in their bed while she was away. And how often had it happened before? Every time he said he had to work late on a deal, was he cheating on her? Had he done it before? Despite his natural reserve, and cool conservative demeanor, and his long working hours, she had always believed that their marriage was solid and he loved her. She had always thought he was completely trustworthy, and clearly he wasn’t. She felt as though her heart had broken in a million pieces that afternoon. Was he in love with Veronica Ashton, or just having sex? Or did that even matter?
She heard his key in the door at seven-thirty. He walked into the living room and saw her there, came across the floor in rapid strides, picked her up and swung her around with obvious delight, and was about to kiss her, when she pushed him away and stood staring at him. He hadn’t realized at first that she was limp in his arms and not responding.
“What’s wrong?” he said with a puzzled look.
“Everything,” she said in a small tight word, and stepped away from him.
“What does that mean?” He sounded hurt when he said it, and she turned to face him again.
“Why don’t you tell me what it means, Peter?” Her voice sounded cold and jagged.
“I’ve missed you. I was excited to see you. Why are you upset?”
Without saying a word, she walked into their bedroom, opened the drawer in her bed table, gathered up the photos, the condoms, the lube, and the datebook and walked back into the living room and handed them to him. He stood juggling them for a minute as the blood drained from his face. Clearly, he recognized them.
“The pictures are great, by the way, terrific angles. You get a really good view. I didn’t call her to return the datebook, although her numbers are in it. I thought I’d let you do that.”
“Caro, I can explain,” he started, with the oldest line of all cheaters, and she held up a hand to stop him.
“No, you can’t. One picture is worth a thousand words, your penis, with a heart around it, her vagina, some interesting positions, condoms, lube, what part of that do you want to explain, how you took the pictures? Or that you had a stunt double screwing her? For chrissake, don’t make a fool of both of us. One is enough, and I’m it.”
“I was lonely. It was stupid. I was drunk and I called an escort service. It’s never happened before,” he said, sounding lame and unconvincing.
“Jesus, you must think I’m brain-dead. Escort service girls don’t put their datebooks in someone else’s night table, and you don’t look drunk to me, and frankly I don’t care if you were drunk or sober. You’re as big a liar as my father,” she raged at him. “You had that girl staying here, in my bed, using my night table, fucking my husband.”
“Who told you that?” He looked panicked.
“You’re pathetic. Get out of my house. I was happy I was going to see you too. For about five minutes, until I opened my night table.”
“You’re not serious about wanting me to leave?” She looked at his handsome blond aristocratic WASPy East Coast looks that had always made her melt, and thought of all the times he had said and implied that she was a redneck because she’d grown up on a ranch. She almost hated him, and knew she could get there, and was well on her way. He had made her feel inferior for years because of her background and his family was so much fancier, but she had never cheated on him or been disloyal to him, and now he had.
“I’m dead serious. And you can cancel the house in Aspen, or take her and continue your photo project. I’m not going, and neither are my children. You’re not taking them anywhere. I’m calling a lawyer tomorrow.”
“Caroline, please…I made a mistake…be reasonable…I’m sorry…this is the first time I’ve ever done anything like this. I don’t even know her.”
“If I go through that datebook, how many times will I see your name, and how long have you been sleeping with her?” She made a grab for the datebook, and he pulled it away from her so she couldn’t reach it. She was normally a quiet person, but she was not a fool. “I thought so. Get out. Now. You can come back for your thi
ngs later. I don’t want you anywhere near me.”
“Caroline.” He tried to reach for her, but didn’t dare put down the offending evidence, so he was juggling it in one hand and trying to reach for her with the other. This was not the homecoming either of them had planned. “Please…can’t we just put this behind us?” he begged her.
“It looks like you were doing that to her in one of those photos. You really should frame them. Get out! I don’t want you here.” He stood staring at her for a minute, and knew he had lost the battle. He walked through their bedroom to his closet, and started dumping things in an overnight bag, along with what she’d found, and five minutes later, he stood in their bedroom, looking beaten, and then decided that the best defense was a good offense.
“What do you expect, Caroline? You leave me alone here, you’re always working on your books, you’re busy with the kids all the time….”
“And that justifies you having an affair, letting some girl sleep in my bed while I’m with my sisters and our kids, and you’re taking porn pictures of her? How do you figure that computes? What if I did that and you found the pictures?” He would kill her and they both knew it. He had a jealous streak, and didn’t like other men anywhere near her. It was one of the ways she knew he loved her.
“I told you. I made a mistake. She was a hooker, an escort.”
“And you’re a liar. Go.” She pointed to the door, and he walked out of the bedroom and a minute later, she heard the front door slam as hard as he could slam it, which was his first sign of real anger, and at least more honest. He was livid at having gotten caught, and his little-boy innocent act had gone nowhere. Caroline was shaking from head to foot and sat down on their bed. And a minute later, she walked into their bathroom and threw up. She wondered if she should have kept the photographs as evidence to show a lawyer, but adultery was no longer grounds for divorce in California. It was just evidence for her. The courts wouldn’t care about it.
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