Kelly turned on the seat, looked up into his dark eyes, and felt her resistance waiver. She hesitated for a moment before saying, “I think it’s best if we don’t see each other again.”
“Why?”
Sadly, she shook her head. “It wouldn’t work between us,” she finally said.
“I think we did just fine last night.” He was stating the obvious.
Kelly decided to lay her cards on the table. “That’s the problem. For years I wanted nothing more than to be with you. For all these years I’ve been wondering what if things had been different. I thought if I could get involved in a short fling with you, find out what it was like to be in your arms, to be made love to—” she paused to swallow “—that I could finally get you out of my system. But now I know that isn’t the case. Once was not enough.”
Her confession made him smile. “Then what’s the problem? I’m not ready for it to end, either. I enjoyed making love to you.”
She shook her head. “I just don’t think I can do it. I’ve never been the type of woman to lead a man on.”
Diamere nodded. “That much is obvious.”
Kelly saw his smile and frowned. “Look, I’ve got so much going on in my life right now and I just don’t need the complications of a relationship of any kind.”
“So then you have gotten me out of your system?”
She looked into his eyes and saw the heat and the desire in them. She felt a pull in her chest.
“Because I can honestly say I haven’t gotten you out of mine,” he added, being just as open and up-front as she was. “In fact, I want you right now. I want to take you inside and taste you everywhere, starting at your feet and working my way up to all the delicious curves of your body. After I’m done I plan to make love to you for the rest of the day and late into the evening, until we fall asleep in each other’s arms.”
His response was not at all what she had expected. The words and the soft bass of his voice caused her body to quiver and ache down below. She had played with fire and the last thing she needed was to get burned. Diamere was only talking about a no-strings-attached sexual relationship. Nowhere in his confession did he hint at anything long-term. There was no way her heart could bear it. Kelly took a deep breath, trying to regain control. If she stayed in the SUV too much longer she might do something stupid like invite him inside.
Sensing her hesitation, Diamere leaned over and captured her mouth with his, then gently inserted his tongue and deepened the kiss. She was a willing participant. Diamere had a power over her that she couldn’t explain. But Kelly knew getting involved with him would take more than she had to offer, and she couldn’t let that happen. She couldn’t let love and a childhood crush control her. She couldn’t let the way he’d made her feel last night dictate her actions. Her relationship with Devin had been nothing like this, or she would have given him her virginity a long time ago. Diamere made her long for things she wasn’t ready for—love and marriage. The two things she had put on the back burner. The two things she was unable to offer anyone right now.
With a deep, tormented moan, Kelly broke off the kiss and breathed. Diamere had a way of making her forget something as simple as filling her lungs with air. Taking another deep breath, she reached for her purse and opened the passenger door. “Thanks for a fabulous evening,” she said. Then, without another word, she climbed out of the car and headed toward her condo.
Chapter 12
“Kelly.”
Her attention was pulled back to her left. “What?”
“You’ve been here for over an hour and you haven’t heard a word I said.”
Kelly watched her mother at the stove, preparing Sunday dinner. It was only the two of them, but as usual she was cooking enough to feed the neighbors. “I’m fine. I was just thinking about something.”
Dorlinda Saunders continued to stir the pot of chicken and dumplings while she stared at her youngest child out of the corner of her eye. “Care to share?”
Turning in her seat, Kelly looked out the window. She didn’t know where to begin. She didn’t know how much she wanted to admit. “Not really.”
Dorlinda sucked her front teeth. “I don’t know why you kids think just because I’m your mother I won’t understand.”
“It’s nothing like that,” Kelly began as she reached for a butter knife and dipped it into a bowl of homemade icing. “I was just thinking about something.”
“Something, or someone?”
Kelly’s head snapped around to find her mother’s warm chestnut eyes looking at her inquisitively. She never had been any good at keeping things from her mom. Dropping her eyes, she spread the icing across the two layers of yellow cake before finally saying, “Did you know Diamere was back in Philadelphia?”
Her mother gave a knowing smile, then reached for an oven mitt and removed a pan of homemade rolls. “Yes, Lauren mentioned that he was living here again.” She shook her head. “It’s such a shame what happened with him and his wife. He adored those girls.” At the disapproving look on her mother’s face, Kelly could tell that Lauren Redmond, Diamere’s mother, had shared every embarrassing detail. The women had been friends for years, and the way they gossiped on the phone, Kelly wasn’t surprised her mother had heard about the terrible divorce. Her heart went out to Diamere. There were so many men who didn’t want to be fathers, and here was a guy who wanted more than anything to be with his girls, and the privilege had been taken away from him.
“I’m sure he’ll find a new girlfriend in no time,” her mother replied, breaking into her thoughts.
Kelly felt a wave of jealousy at the idea of Diamere being with another woman, doing the things he had done with her to someone else. She tried to shake off the thought. He wasn’t hers. She had no right thinking that way. She had no business falling in love. Kelly let out a long, shaky breath. It wasn’t as if she’d tried to fall in love with him again, but there was something about Diamere she couldn’t resist. That’s why she’d ended things when she had. No matter how much she missed him, ending the relationship had been for the best. If she had continued it, she would have wanted to be with him all the time. She wouldn’t have given any thought to her thesis or the upcoming school year. Her only thoughts would have been about lying in Diamere’s arms and staring up at his handsome face. Yep. Getting involved with him would have been a terrible mistake. She just wished her heart knew that, as well.
“I’m sure he’ll find someone,” Kelly finally said in a composed voice, pushing the thought aside immediately. While she finished smoothing the icing over the cake, she tried to stop thinking about Diamere, but was unsuccessful.
It had been a week since he had dropped her off at home, yet she still couldn’t get their passionate night out of her mind. All she could think about was Diamere whispering in her ear while he moved slowly between her thighs, making her feel things she had no right to remember, yet couldn’t forget. Every night she lay awake thinking, wanting and needing him. Every afternoon she found herself hoping she’d find him leaning against her car, offering to take her to lunch. But each day passed with no phone calls, no surprise appearances. It was as if the night they shared had never happened. If it wasn’t for the movie ticket stub she found tucked in her pocket, she would have thought that maybe she had imagined the entire evening. Afraid of being rejected by another man, she didn’t dare call him or even bring herself to ask Essence if she had seen him.
Every morning at school, her nosy sister-in-law had been trying to wiggle information out of her about their date, but at the moment Kelly wasn’t ready to gossip. What she and Diamere had shared was too precious to tell anyone. It was one night she would always hold close to her heart.
“Why don’t you ask Diamere out? He could probably use a friend.” Her mother’s voice brought her back to the present.
“We went out last week.”
A smile was on her lips. “I’m sure you both had a lovely time.”
What in the world would her mother think if she fou
nd out Kelly had not only gone out with Diamere, but given him her virginity, as well?
“I spoke to Calaine last night. She and David are planning to come up for Thanksgiving.”
Kelly released a sigh of relief, grateful that her mother had finally changed the subject. “That’s wonderful.”
Calaine was the big sister Kelly never knew she had until she was already in her twenties. It was then that her mother had sat her down and told her a very painful story.
Dorlinda had gotten pregnant while in nursing school. As a struggling student with no family support, she had little choice but to give her baby up for adoption. It wasn’t until Calaine went in search of her mother that the two were reunited. Ever since, the family had been very close. Calaine was married to David Soul and lived in Columbia, Missouri, with their three children.
Gazing out the window again, Kelly released a heavy sigh. For years she had wanted the same thing that her sister and brother had—love and marriage. But over the years she had begun to accept that maybe it just wasn’t meant for her. She had believed in love when she’d first started dating Devin, and her heart had been broken. There was no way she could allow herself to go through that pain again. Down deep, she knew that the pain would be even worse with Diamere if she allowed it to happen. She loved him, there was no denying that. Yet as much as she missed him, Kelly knew she had made the right decision to end their relationship.
Chapter 13
Diamere looked down at his watch for the umpteenth time and scowled. The August dance had started well over an hour ago. It was probably smart at this point to assume Kelly wasn’t coming. He tried to ignore the wave of disappointment as he glanced around at all the residents of Shady Acres. Everyone was having a good time laughing and eating in the beautifully decorated recreation room, except for him. Reaching for a ladle, he poured himself a cup of fruit punch and brought it to his lips. The cool beverage quenched his thirst. It was going to be a lot harder to quench something else. Kelly had gotten to him.
Diamere didn’t know how or when it had happened but the little woman had somehow wiggled her way into his head and was seriously challenging his heart. He refused to believe it was happening and would fight it all the way, since he didn’t want to fall for a woman. The last thing he was looking for was that. However, he couldn’t deny that he wanted to be with her. He missed her. Kelly lit a fire within his soul. Making love to her had been an experience like no other. He had been her first, and until he was done with her he wanted to be her only. He had an overwhelming desire to claim her as his…temporarily. He wasn’t even going to entertain the idea of them having anything more than that. No matter how much he wanted her, he wasn’t going to make the relationship more than it was.
Frustrated, Diamere ran a hand across his head. He had never behaved this way with a woman before—thinking about her day and night, wondering what she was doing, if she was missing him. For the past two weeks he’d lain in bed hard as a rock, with the scent of Kelly still lingering in his room. It was insane. He could have easily called another woman to come over and satisfy his needs, but right now he didn’t want anyone but Kelly. His pulse began escalating from the direction his thoughts were taking.
His stubborn pride kept him from calling when he so desperately wanted to hear her soft voice. But Kelly had put the brakes on after one night, and for the life of him he couldn’t figure out why. Especially when he thought the two of them had been fabulous together. He’d thought they had a mutual understanding that worked for the both of them. So why after one night, after one beautiful night, was she not at all interested in continuing their fling? He had hoped it would have lasted at least the duration of the summer. But Diamere had a strong feeling that one month or even two would not be near enough. His gut told him that Kelly was just as attracted to him as he was to her. So if that was true, why wasn’t she here?
Diamere decided he wasn’t doing anything but driving himself crazy. He finished the punch, tossed the cup in the trash and walked around the ballroom. Frank Sinatra was playing from the jukebox in the corner and several couples were moving around on the dance floor.
“Well, it’s been an hour. I thought you were bringing a date?”
He turned and glanced down at his grandmother. Nana didn’t let her five-foot stature stop her from showing him who was boss.
“I guess I got stood up,” Diamere said with a shrug.
Vertical lines appeared between her hazel eyes. “Humph. Men back in my day picked you up at your home.”
“I offered,” he said defensively. “She had something to do and said it would be more convenient if she met me here.”
Nana gave a heavy sigh. “I guess that means you’re not serious with this one, either.”
Oh, he was definitely serious. He just wasn’t ready yet to admit just how much. “Kelly is a very special woman.”
She must have seen something in his eyes because her face suddenly lit up. “Well then, go call her while I run over and dance with Neal.” She giggled like a schoolgirl as she glanced across the room at a man in his eighties, sitting on a chair, sipping punch. “He’s been waiting all night.” She fluffed her hair. “I guess I better go put him out of his misery.”
Chuckling, Diamere watched his grandmother sway her narrow hips as she moved across the room and pulled Neal out onto the dance floor. The little lady was definitely something else.
He watched the couple dance until the hairs at the back of his neck stood up on alert. Curious about what was happening, he glanced around the room and could barely catch his breath when he spotted Kelly walking through the door. For the longest time, she stood still and looked around. Diamere stared at her for a moment, realizing just how much he’d missed her over the last week. Slowly, his eyes traveled up and down her body. His admiring gaze lingered on her long, shapely legs below the hem of a short, slim skirt. In a white blouse and two-inch heels, she looked as sexy as he’d ever seen her. He couldn’t help thinking she was even more beautiful than he remembered. Kelly glanced to her right, looking over at him as he stared back at her. Raising her hand, she waved, smiling when he returned it.
Quickly, Diamere moved toward her, covering the distance in a few long strides. He hauled her up and straight into his arms as he lowered his mouth and kissed her once, twice, three times. Finally, in need of oxygen, he pulled back.
“Wow!” she said.
He smiled and her response was automatic—that lovely, lovely smile that filled his dreams.
Diamere tilted his head, eyeing the fuchsia color covering her sensual mouth. “I was hoping you were going to come.”
“I’m a woman of my word,” Kelly replied.
Slowly, he lowered her to her feet. “You look beautiful. And you smell fantastic, too.” The sweet scent sent blood rushing to his head and loins.
“Thank you,” she said, still watching him closely.
They stood there, eyes locked, for what felt like forever, and at the same time it wasn’t long enough.
“How have you been?” he asked in an attempt to break the silence. He didn’t know about her, but his heart was pounding heavily in his chest.
Kelly stepped back, her eyes crinkling in a friendly smile. “I’ve been good. What about you?”
He looked at her. “Better now that you’re here.” Diamere reached out and captured her hand in his. “I guess I’d better introduce you to the crowd.” What he really wanted to do was find a private spot where he could ravish her without several dozen eyes watching.
Her gaze traveled around the banquet room, taking in the residents laughing and eating, and her lips curled downward. “It doesn’t look like this crowd needs volunteers.”
“Actually, it was an excuse to get you here.” As soon as her eyes widened, he held up his hands in surrender. “Seriously, I usually help make sure everyone is having a good time. I thought a beautiful woman would be a nice touch to help get these old hearts pumping.”
Her face crinkled wit
h laughter. “Okay, you’re forgiven.”
“Good.” He took her hand again. “Let me introduce you to everyone, then.”
They were all welcoming and eager to meet the girl on his arm. And Diamere was happier than he would have ever imagined to let the crowd know they were together. He introduced her to Mr. Brown, whose hand lingered on Kelly’s waist a little too long. The women all commented on how pretty she was.
“Chile, I remember I used to have legs like that. I had men falling all over themselves,” Ms. Childress said, and stuck out a meaty thigh with tan knee-highs that threatened to slip down to her ankles. Two other female residents crowded around Kelly, sharing beauty tips. Clearly amused when she raised her eyebrow in a signal for help, Diamere politely pulled her away and went in search of his grandmother.
Pressing close to his side, Kelly smiled up at him, eyes dancing with laughter. “Are they always like that?”
“Worse. Last year they invited a male stripper to Ms. Childress’s ninetieth birthday bash.”
Her eyes widened and they shared a laugh. The sound made his heart sing.
“Let me introduce you to Nana.” He took Kelly’s hand and felt a rush as she followed him over to the petite lady coming off the dance floor. As soon as she spotted them moving her way, Nana’s face lit up.
“Well, who is this lovely thing?”
“Nana, this is my friend Kelly.”
Extending her arms, Nana hugged her tightly. “Kelly. What a beautiful girl. I am so glad to finally meet you. My grandson has told me so much about you.”
I did? Instead of saying anything, he just played along.
Kelly returned the embrace. “I’ve heard a lot about you, too,” she said as she released her. The two began to talk, and soon Nana somehow managed to steer the conversation in a personal direction.
“Kelly, are you planning to get married and have babies anytime in the near future?”
She gave a nervous laugh. “Actually, I am someday, when the time is right.”
Before I Let You Go Page 10
