by Flora Dain
When I ring off I find Bullen stationed outside. I ask him in, offer him coffee and he outlines the hotel Internet facilities and shows me a photo of his new baby daughter. Soon we’re almost friends.
And now for my research. To make the best of my enforced curfew I head for the pool, make myself comfortable in the wide, sheltered space Darnley’s men make for me amongst the crowded tables and accept a long, iced drink from a fawning waiter. I feel like a crime lord.
I check my emails and for the rest of the morning I find out all I can about handcuffs. By lunchtime I’m reeling, but I sign off and make a call to my friends in Yosemite. They’ve reached a sector where the signal’s more reliable and I spend a useful half hour picking the brains of Gina, an old friend from college who’s now a shrink.
I hint vaguely at the problem without naming names or ages. She agrees that professional help’s the best solution. But when I mention the sex side of things she just laughs.
‘For goodness’ sake, Ella, lighten up. If there’s no pain or injury involved there’s absolutely no harm. If this is you, just take it slow and make sure he sticks to the limits you set him. Anything else is abuse.’ She signs off with a laugh. ‘And get out more. People do this for fun.’
Fun? Right now I’m grounded and fun’s well out of frame but I sure could use some. Maybe Darnley could do with some too. If he can’t talk about this, if he’s never talked about this, maybe he never gets any …
Maybe that’s part of the problem.
I think hard for a moment and sketch out a plan. It just might work. But I’ll need to go shopping – and definitely not with Bullen. After another hour’s search I get through to a small, select boutique outlet on a quiet back street not far from here.
Miss Normal has left the building.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
‘Good day?’ I look up brightly as Darnley joins me at the poolside. It’s late afternoon now, the sunlight slanting over the suntanned guests. I shut the laptop quickly in case he sees what I’ve been doing.
He frowns but says nothing. ‘So-so.’ He loosens his tie and accepts a tall, frosted glass from a bowing waiter. Around us the empty tables are drawing envious looks from late swimmers as his men keep their silent watch. People were staring before but now they gape openly. He sure gets attention.
‘What were you doing?’ His tone is low, his eyelids lowered.
‘All day? I made some calls and swam for a while. After lunch I bought some things.’
He’s eyeing me steadily, his expression grave. ‘Anything special?’
I try not to colour. ‘Oh, you know, girly things.’
My searches were anything but random and distinctly ungirly. I’ve been thinking hard about dark, mystifying pleasures I’d never have dreamed of before. I’d have been ashamed even to think of them.
Now, shamefully, I can’t get them out of my head. And now he’s back I look at him with new eyes and wonder exactly what it might feel like to do these things for him, to have to do these things for him …
Sadly that possibility seems remote. His next words dash my hopes.
‘I thought you should know that from now on I plan to keep to my own room and you can keep to yours. Our arrangement is purely business. I’ve no wish to impose.’
I swallow, scanning his face for clues to his mood, to the reason for this sudden change of tack. He avoids my eye. ‘And I’d be grateful if you’d forget about last night. We’ll pretend it never happened.’
But it did happen, I think wildly. My life has changed now. I’ve changed now, and it’s all because of you. But I see from his manner that there’s no chance to say this. I might be sitting with a stranger. I’m a day too late.
He turns to me with a calm, polite smile and my heart sinks. ‘Shall we go up to change? I thought we’d eat out.’
* * *
There’s no sign of him as we get ready for a meal and I’ve no idea where we’re going. I’ve so little with me I wear my white pants again and put on a fresh top, low-cut and bloused, cool, hot-weather linen. With heels, piled hair and extra make-up I look passable for evening but hardly red carpet. To my relief I see he’s not in a tux tonight, only immaculate jeans and a black leather jacket. Even so he looks sensational, a catwalk experience with added menace.
Irresistible.
‘Where are we going?’ We walk out of the hotel a little way and he steers me towards the small airfield. I realise we’re flying somewhere.
‘I thought you’d like to see a bit of Texas, as you’ve been cooped up all day.’
He sounds detached, remote, but I sense tension in his manner. We clamber into a small, sleek helicopter. He nods to the pilot, we take our seats and strap in for take-off and rise up into a cloudless sky, turning rose and purple along the eastern horizon as the sun blazes gold towards the west.
He sits opposite, his gaze steady and unsettling. I can’t suppress a tiny thrill as the ground below falls away and the great state of Texas opens out before us.
I glance at him, my face breaking out into a smile.
His expression softens. ‘I should explain some things about my family.’
‘I was going to ask. Are they complicated?’
His twisted grin tells me we’re on safe ground here. ‘No more than most, I daresay.’
‘They’re lawyers? I know that much from Billy. She was thrilled to get her internship.’
‘Lautner Wolfe was my great-grandfather. He built up the business. Law’s not my thing. I went it alone. Electronics. But the others are all shareholders.’
I take care here, but I have to know. ‘What happened to your real mother?’
He shrugs. ‘She left when I was five. Ran off with her riding instructor. They run a stud farm in Argentina.’ He pauses.
I’m not sure how to go on. ‘Is it painful?’ I prompt gently.
He looks cynical. ‘Old history. Lydia’s OK. We get along.’
I give him a rueful smile. ‘I’m just trying to understand. Anything else I need to know?’
He’s looking at me strangely. ‘Yes, but maybe you guessed it already. I brought you up here to talk because it’s one of the few places we’re not overheard. You should stay away from me. In the normal way of things, I mean. Not when we’re –’
He looks away, troubled.
‘When we’re forced together like this?’ I suggest. I take a deep breath and tell myself not to mind. He’s gone to a lot of trouble to keep me safe. I can’t expect him to see me as worth any kind of relationship. To him I’m just casual sex and possibly, if last night tells me anything, a long way short of what he likes …
I lift my chin and look him straight in the eye, my lips steady. I feel proud.
I try to stay on track. ‘You have other family? Aunts, uncles?’
His mouth twists. ‘Plenty. None you need to know about. Freda, my cousin, you’ve met.’
I wince. So that’s who she is.
He eyes me calmly. ‘The others you’ll have to work out when you get there. I’ll fill you in if I can but it depends who else turns up.’
I bite my lip. There’s something else I have to ask, but I’m not sure how. ‘And if they ask me about – us? What do you want me to say?’
He frowns and looks out of the window. ‘Nothing. I’ll do the talking.’
We’re heading into Oklahoma. We veer off as the sun dips towards the horizon in a haze of orange and purple and head back. Up here we’re still in the last of the daylight as we turn back to Dallas. Far below us at ground level the towns are already in shadow, their street lamps twinkling along the eastern horizon where night has already begun.
* * *
For the rest of our trip he stays silent and avoids my eye. I might be with a stranger. After our closeness over the past few days –and especially last night – it’s unsettling. What’s worse is he’s deliberately putting distance between us. I tell myself that last night he was in a state of trauma. If it’s anything like sleepwalking he may be unaware I w
as even there.
My heart aches for him but it’s like I’m with a statue. As we walk towards the hotel I teeter towards him as my sandal catches on a stone. He steadies me with a fierce grip and then snatches his hand away.
In the elevator a couple clearly the worse – or maybe the better – for drink topple in and clinch like they’re alone. I see his jaw clench but he refuses to look at me. Yesterday we’d have shared a smile. Once we’d have been doing the same.
Now that’s all history.
In the suite he goes straight to his room and I hear the whoosh of the shower, the chink of crystal as he pours himself a drink and then the low, thrilling sound of some aria, two male voices swelling together, passionate, loving.
Now or never. All day long I’ve been forming a plan and now’s the time for action. Tomorrow we’ll be in the heart of his family and no longer alone together. This is my last chance. And if it fails things can’t get much worse …
Twenty minutes later I’m changed, made up and heavily scented. I inspect the results of today’s shopping spree, remove the labels and finally take a good look in the mirror.
One look is all I need. My stomach clenches, doubt spirals. Is it too much? Not enough? I’m new at this. Maybe he’ll just laugh.
I see a stranger, a sex fiend, slim, determined, eyes bluer than usual under the heavy eyelashes, waist tiny in the tight satin corset, legs slinky in black stockings and feet arched to perfection in killer heels.
This had better work.
* * *
To my great relief his door is still partly open. I can hear him on the phone, his voice a low murmur against the singing, like he’s further away. I peek through the door and see he’s outside, on the balcony. His strong, beautiful profile is gilded in the spotlights bathing the front of the hotel. The gauze drapes at the windows billow in the evening breeze. The movement scares me.
Suppose he jumps? There’s no reason why he should, but I’m nervous. After last night he could do anything. Pain that deep could have terrible effects. What I’ve seen could just be the tip of the iceberg.
I walk slowly through the suite and join him on the balcony. As I draw near I can make out what he’s saying.
His voice is a low growl, edged with fury. ‘He’s out there somewhere. You damn well find him, you hear? Nobody sleeps until he’s caught.’
Nessun dorma … none shall sleep. The fabulous aria swells in my head as I touch his arm to warn him I’m here.
Instantly he stiffens. He says nothing but stares grimly ahead. I see a muscle move in his cheek.
In my head the music fades as reality kicks in. ‘Was that about Ryan?’
‘Yes. And I told you to stay away from me.’ His voice is low, his jaw rigid.
‘I know. I’ve taken up enough of your time, right?’ I keep my tone light.
After a moment he sighs. ‘It’s not that. I’m not safe. You should stay away.’
Even his own family are scared of him.
‘Darnley?’ My voice is barely audible in the soft night air.
Slowly he turns and sees me for the first time. He stands very still, drinking me in. ‘What the … What are you doing?’
He looks dazed. I hold his gaze, keeping my hands carefully behind my back so he can’t see what I’m holding.
‘I’ve come to buy something with sex.’
He licks his lips, his voice husky. ‘So I see. You’re not the first. What do you want to buy?’
‘You.’ I hold out my arm and now for the first time he sees the handcuffs. The light from the grounds far below glints on the heavy metal chain that dangles from my wrist.
I hold my breath as the silence lengthens between us. Was this a mistake? Will he freak? It’s a long way down. If I could just lure him away from that rail …
He pushes himself upright and takes a step towards me and I slowly exhale, giddy with relief as air rushes back into my lungs.
His eyes narrow. ‘I should warn you, I’m very expensive.’
My heart gives a leap. ‘Good. Then you’d better be worth it.’
He frowns again. ‘Worth what?’
I part my lips, run my tongue over my lip and hold his gaze. ‘Whatever it takes.’
He lifts my arm, his expression dazed. He fondles the heavy cuff where it cuts into my wrist, its weight already pressing into my skin. He runs his finger over the place, visibly moved. ‘Ella, are you serious?’
In answer I lean up and kiss him softly on the cheek.
He’s watching me steadily. ‘Some mercy mission, is that it?’
I run one hand up into his hair, hold the hard steel against his cheek with the other, and put my face close to his. ‘I wanted you the instant we met, remember? Now I want you again. Is that so hard to accept?
He murmurs, half to himself. ‘That night I wondered … I asked myself over and over if you’d be the one …’
Not daring to look down at the pit I’ve dug for myself, I give him a playful look from under my lashes. ‘You’ll never know unless you try me.’
Nor will I.
For a moment we stand suspended in time and then things move fast. In minutes we’re back in his room, the door to the balcony slammed shut, the lights lowered. He’s brisk now, like he’s come to a decision and determined to put it into action before I change my mind.
His only hesitation is at the point of locking me onto the bed rail. His eyes burn into mine as he fingers the cuff, the little key still in the lock. He snaps it open, releasing my wrist. ‘I want both your wrists in one. You permit?’
I nod, my eyes wide, lips parted with sheer joy that he’s willing to accept my offer, heart beating wildly at the thought of what’s to come.
Still he hesitates. ‘You’re sure, Ella? It may hurt.’
Yikes. ‘I’m sure.’ I sound firmer than I feel but it’s too late to back out now. Just let him do it, do what he wants … maybe I’ll want it too.
It does hurt. It’s a tight fit and he makes no attempt to soften it for me. As he loops the other half of the cuff onto the rail he leans down to murmur in my ear. ‘Now you’ll have to keep very still. If you struggle it will pinch. Still OK?’
I nod, blissfully aware that in spite of my fear my excitement is building fast as heat starts to burn deep in my belly. I’m growing wet.
‘Spread your legs wide. Keep them spread.’ He undresses with swift, impatient movements. His beautiful honed body emerges from the designer tailoring like a statue, his muscles rippling with tensions of his own, his stomach hard and flat, his shoulder muscles swelling as he curves over me, his erection already taut and glossy in the low lighting. As he draws near I feel the heat from his body at my back but he’s barely touching me. He reaches round to hook my breasts out of my tight, constraining satin, weighs them in wide, cupped hands and tweaks my nipples with slow, hard, deliberate tugs of his fingers and thumbs. Soon they’re aching and hot but he carries on, one hand slipping further down to explore between my legs as the other scoops my breasts together and fondles them both. Down below I feel his fingers slip into first one passage and then the other. I’m too surprised to protest. Instead I clench in reflex and mew with distress.
He murmurs half to himself. ‘You’re not ready for this yet. You’re very tight.’
His voice is low in my ear, his lips moving seductively on my skin, but his fingers stay in place, teasing, moving, intimate and insistent. ‘Are you afraid, Ella?’
‘Yes,’ I whisper. ‘A little.’ I feel his lips move again and now he’s laughing softly.
‘We’ll have to work on this if you’re going to enjoy it as much as I want you to. It takes a while. For now we’ll stick to plan A. But first I want you to do something for me.’
He straddles my taut, quivering arms, trapped in their vice-like metal grip, and kneels down carefully in front of my face. The heaped pillows support his weight – just – but I still feel a strain on my wrists as the cuffs bite at my unnatural position.
‘T
ake it in your mouth. Make me good and wet.’
His erection looms before me, darker and harder than I’ve ever seen it. It smells hot and salty, its earthy scent filling my senses, his taut, muscular thighs at either side of my face. I arch my neck to reach the tip, eager to please him and desperate to explore this strange new world he’s opening up for me. Being restrained like this is unbearably exciting.
The fierce, biting grip on my wrists is doing strange things to me, setting up a deep, agonising throb between my wide-splayed legs. I long to close them just a little, to let my folds slide together for a moment to ease the ache, but his stern look forbids me.
He told me to spread them wide and keep them spread and something in his tone warned me it would be foolish to disobey. I’m in new territory here but the trip is beyond exciting and to my surprise it’s also making me hungry. I plunge lustily over his hot, eager erection, relishing his essence, rejoicing in the warm, spicy earth odours of his crotch and swallowing deep, as far as I can. At this angle it’s tricky.
‘Go on, deeper. I like to see you strain.’
He’s enjoying my struggle. As this hits me it occurs to me instantly that I’m enjoying it too, far more than I expected. I’m burning up now, already aching to please him, craving more. As I ease back from a deep, satisfying lunge he pulls away from my mouth and smiles down at me. ‘You’re good. Better than good. But now you have to want me in you. Are you ready for this?’
He’s kneeling beside me now, his hand smoothing my bare, up-thrust bottom, slipping deep between my legs, teasing and testing with long, sensitive fingertips. I moan as his fingers graze the outer edges of my folds and then he deliberately runs his finger deep into my inner layers, sliding slippery wetness all over my sensitive, pulsing places.
‘You’re very wet down there, Ella. Can I take that as a yes? You have to say it. I can’t do this unless I know you’re sure …’
I swallow. ‘Which –?’ I tail off with a blush and he laughs again, his finger stroking my scarlet cheek with a fond, loving caress.
‘You’re so vanilla. I told you, this one’s not ready yet.’ He presses his finger against my tight little opening, primly clenched as his finger pushes at it. ‘We’ll work on that one. But this –’ I hear him let out a ragged sigh, and I guess instantly that he’s finding it hard to speak now ‘– this feels fine.’
