‘I dealt with his visits the only way I could – I made no sound and lay completely still until it was over. I hated him, truly hated him,’ continued Isabella, another shudder running through her body. ‘At first, he remained silent and implacable, but gradually my lack of reaction infuriated him even more. He railed at me that I was frigid, that I had no idea how to please a man and he taunted me with how his mistress, whom I later discovered was a woman in the village, knew how to gratify his desires.’
‘So he pushed his deficiencies on you as well,’ he exclaimed through gritted teeth. ‘He was not worthy of being called a man – he was a cruel, vicious monster.’
‘I know,’ she acknowledged with a sigh. ‘My salvation came when, after four months of marriage, I told him I was expecting a child. I wondered if the news might alter Edward, but he made no comment when he heard. From that day on he did not venture near me again. Perhaps he thought he had done his duty in producing a child or found more pleasure in the arms of his mistress. Whatever the reason, I was profoundly grateful. My pregnancy was fortunately free of problems and Edward allowed Dr Dalton, who became a good friend, to tend me throughout. Dr Dalton was not fooled by Edward; he had only recently returned to the area but he had previously been the Vane family physician and was aware of Edward’s caprices. He had great sympathy for my situation and, when I reached my time of confinement, I was glad Dr Dalton was there.’
‘Was he – your husband – there?’ Hal could not bring himself to mention the name.
‘Edward was away in London, drinking himself into a stupor,’ she replied. ‘His drinking and gambling were increasing as he spent my dowry and the money released by the sale of my father’s estates. When Dominic was born, only Dr Dalton and Mary were with me. There was no loving husband waiting anxiously for news – Edward would not have cared if I had lived or died – and yet, Dominic’s birth was my only joyful moment during those years. From that moment on, I had someone who depended on me completely and that knowledge gave me a renewed sense of purpose.’
‘What a burden of sadness you have borne, sweetheart,’ he said, ‘Little wonder that you retreated from the world, yet I sensed the warmth underneath your cool diffidence when we met, and felt protective towards you even then. Did his behaviour improve after Dominic’s birth?’
‘No, it grew worse. He either ignored me or flew into a drunken, towering rage, calling me a soulless witch, unfeeling and unnatural.’ Isabella gave a little shrug. ‘Strange to say it, but I grew used to his behaviour. I did not fear physical violence: any signs that he had struck me would be visible and he wanted no talk in the village. Edward had a perverted, magnified sense of pride in the Vane family name and would have been mortified had his treatment of me become public knowledge. So his behaviour was restrained to verbal taunts or to ignoring me. I could tolerate the latter, and learnt to deal with the former by cultivating an air of apparent indifference.’
She paused to take a sip of wine and then slipped her hand into his. ‘To be subjected to daily taunts, insults and criticism can be just as effective as physical punishment, and any confidence I possessed fell away under Edward’s malicious tongue. My pride would not let him see that he was succeeding, so I learned to keep my feelings hidden from everyone … until I met you.’
‘I’ll be eternally grateful to Freddy for insisting I went to Lady Pargeter’s that evening.’
‘And Harriet has my gratitude for insisting that I accompany her,’ replied Isabella, with a wistful smile. ‘As for Dominic, Edward was neither proud of nor pained by his arrival into the world. I suppose Dominic received more affection than Edward gave to any other creature in that he did not like to see him ill, or hurt, but his fondness extended little further. On one occasion, when Edward did not know he was being observed by me, I watched him trying to play with Dominic in the garden. His father was effectively a stranger so Dominic was afraid and would not join in. That was the only time I saw any kindness in Edward. Drinking and gambling were now his consuming passions and, although I did not know it then, he was also heavily in debt. Life at Vane Manor became even more intolerable.’
‘Did you ever think of leaving?’ he asked.
‘Many times, but I had nowhere to go – Harriet could not afford to support us – and I could have found myself in even worse circumstances. As long as there was no immediate danger to myself or Dominic, I could bear it. I corresponded with Harriet regularly and told her a little of my circumstances. Eventually, when matters deteriorated still further, I poured out the whole of my situation and Harriet, leaving behind her comfortable life without a qualm, came to live at Vane Manor. I was amazed that Edward agreed, but he said that having Harriet there would keep me and the child out of his way. When Harriet saw exactly what circumstances I was living under, she was appalled.’
‘At least you had someone to help you,’ he said, raking his fingers through his hair.
‘Harriet gave me much needed comfort, and moral support. By then, we were social outcasts to most of local society and I was not sorry for that, being too embarrassed and saddened to care. Harriet and I spoke on many occasions of how I might escape, but there seemed no way out. We had little money between us and, according to the law, I was Edward’s wife – even if we had escaped, Dominic and I would have had to live in fear of discovery and I’m ashamed to say I did not have the courage to do it.’
‘Don’t be critical of your actions, Isabella. It is understandable why you could not escape his tyranny then.’
‘I think we would have eventually, but, as often happens, matters reached a crisis one night.’
Feeling a violent shiver run through her, he whispered, ‘Do you want to continue? It can wait until another time.’
‘I must go on, Hal. It is cathartic and perhaps the circumstances surrounding Edward’s death will no longer hold any fear for me if I can describe them.’
He kissed her forehead and waited.
Isabella stared into the fire for a while and then said, ‘It was a Friday evening. Harriet and Dominic were staying overnight at the home of one of my few acquaintances. Alicia Knowles was a childhood friend who had married a local landowner. They had a child, a son of Dominic’s age, whom Dominic loved to play with. I did not see them often because they made no secret of their dislike of Edward. However, they sometimes invited Harriet, Dominic and me to spend the day at their property. I enjoyed those visits very much, but when on one occasion they asked us to stay overnight, Edward would not allow me to accompany Harriet and Dominic. At that point, I had no inkling that I should be worried and was just pleased that Dominic would enjoy another child’s company. I should have wondered if there was a reason behind Edward’s decision.
‘He had taken to inviting his unsavoury friends to the manor, to join him in all night card games where the wine and the bets flowed freely. Harriet and I stayed well away from these events, but, unknown to me, Edward had arranged for one of these gatherings to take place that Friday night. When I realized this, I was a little afraid because I was alone in the house; Harriet and Dominic were, of course, away and Mary had gone to visit her mother in the village. The other servants knew their place and would not intervene. So I went to my room, determined to remain out of the way until the morning.
‘For hours, I listened to drunken laughter and curses emanating from downstairs – I was too nervous to sleep and had decided to sit by the fire and read. Edward came to my room in the early hours. I knew his friends were still downstairs, so I did not imagine that he wanted me in that way – he had not touched me since discovering I was expecting Dominic. He had drunk so much he had difficulty standing and, in a slurred voice, told me that he had lost at cards until he had been forced to lay a wager with his one remaining asset – me.’
‘He used you for stakes in a card game?’ said Hal incredulously, his voice shaking with fury. ‘Death alone was too good for him – he should have been horse-whipped first!’ His anger suddenly overflowing and needing
a physical outlet, he stood up and paced about the room, cursing under his breath, until he looked into her face once more. His expression softened at once and, heaving a deep sigh, he returned to her side and gathered her back into his embrace.
‘In a sense, I suppose he was, as you will hear,’ she murmured, resting her head against his shoulder once more. ‘One of Edward’s card-playing friends had admired me and when Edward ran out of anything else to offer, his friend had suggested me.’ Bitterly, she added, ‘The bet was accepted – one night with me was worth thirty guineas which shows how little I meant to Edward. When he came to inform me that I must make myself available to his friend, I was furious and all my pent-up rage and resentment came pouring out. I denounced his character, his behaviour, his lack of honour, his absence of affection for me and his son, but it was all to no avail – he told me if his friend was foolish enough to want to bed a cold, freakish witch that was his affair. I must comply and if I did not, he would have me certified insane and committed to an asylum – I would never see my son again. Then, he calmly left the room to return downstairs. Frantic with terror, I knew that I needed to escape.’
‘No wonder you were so devastated last night when you thought I had courted you only to win a wager,’ whispered Hal. ‘That must have evoked terrible memories.’
She nodded in agreement and replied in a barely audible voice, ‘She did not realize it, but Lady Portland could not have alighted on a more painful, disturbing subject for me. As I said, I was frantic … I heard the man approaching and rushed to hide. Dominic’s room adjoined my own and I waited there, hoping that I would not be discovered. The door opened and I sensed his eyes scanning the room, which was in darkness apart from the glow from embers in the grate. Unfortunately, in my haste I had not hidden my dress and he must have seen the pale muslin cloth protruding from behind the chair. He grunted and came in and I sensed at once that he had guessed my hiding place. Terrified, I took hold of the only weapon to hand – a poker which had been sitting in the embers and was searing hot.’
‘Dear Heaven,’ he breathed, proud of Isabella’s courage yet afraid as to what he might hear had happened next.
‘Taking hold of it, I lunged towards him. I knew I had only a moment before he overwhelmed me but I managed to strike home. The hot metal scorched his cheek, adhering to his skin.’ She drew in a sob, and stammered, ‘I – It was hideous; the smell of burning flesh rent the air as he screamed in agony. In my haste, I burnt my hand – there is a scar here’ – Isabella pointed out a small mark on her trembling right hand, near her thumb – ‘which has acted as a reminder of that terrible night ever since.’
‘I can well imagine,’ he said, touching his lips to the scar as if to try and erase it. Then, with a catch in his voice, ‘Did you escape?’
‘Yes,’ she replied, aware of him exhaling in relief. ‘I left him writhing in agony and found my way out of the house. There was uproar inside; I could hear the man cursing and Edward’s angry shouts. My best chance was to hide until morning – if I tried to run away, I would not get far and then who knows what my fate would have been? It would not have been pleasant – they were all drunk and beyond reasonable behaviour. Eventually, I found a small loft above one of the stable buildings. It was a curious coincidence that Sarah chose to hide Dominic in a loft, because I found a similar hiding place. The wooden door was directly above one of the stalls and I had to stand on the dividing partition to reach it. The horses were nervous, but they were used to me and made no great noise. Shortly after I had climbed in and replaced the door, they came into the stable looking for me.
‘I hid under the hay, trembling and listening to the murmur of their voices below as they searched. After a while, when they could not find me, they went out and all fell quiet again. I could not move – even though rats ran over my feet and I was numb with cold, fear kept me motionless. Stiff and sore, I did not stir until I was certain that it was dawn and Edward’s friends had given up and gone home. I decided that I must leave the manor that day because it was no longer safe to remain there.’
‘Had they indeed gone when you left your hiding place?’ he asked. Rage constricted his voice and he had clenched his fists as Isabella had recounted Edward’s monstrous behaviour.
‘They had, but I did not know it then,’ said Isabella. ‘When the first streaks of dawn were visible through a hole in the roof above me, I hoped that the thirst to hunt down their quarry had abated. I lowered myself down into the stall below, trying not to frighten the horse stabled there. It was Conqueror, one of Edward’s mounts, a huge black stallion of uncertain temperament that Edward controlled with cruel methods. I spoke soothingly so he would be calm enough for me to slip by. But Edward appeared at that moment.’
Isabella, feeling Hal’s body stiffen again with anger, hurried on, ‘He was still drunk, but when he saw me, his expression was one of pure hatred – you see, I had embarrassed him in front of his friends, as well as injuring one of them badly. I truly believe he wanted me dead at that moment. He had a scythe which he had taken from the wall and he swung it down towards me, intending to kill. I stepped back and the blow struck the horse, gouging a deep cut in his flank. Conqueror reared up instantly. I glimpsed fear in Edward’s eyes before the stallion’s flying hoofs knocked him sideways. The horse then lunged to the right, crushing him against the side of the stall. He cried out and then sank to the ground, where he lay silent. I – I could not touch him – I could see that he was unconscious and not dead, but I think I sensed that he was mortally wounded. When Harriet returned, she found me in the stable, still staring at Edward’s body, and sent for Dr Dalton.
‘Harriet and Dr Dalton know what happened, but not Dominic, and I shall not tell him until he is older and can deal with what he must hear,’ said Isabella, looking up into Hal’s face. ‘Harriet rejoiced at Edward’s death, notwithstanding her gentle nature, and Dr Dalton also felt that Edward had received just reward. The doctor knew that there was little hope and when Edward died some hours later, Dr Dalton promised that for my sake and Dominic’s, the truth of what had happened would not emerge. Edward’s death would be explained by saying that he was killed while in the stable alone; there was a terrific storm during the hours leading up to Edward’s death and it would be perfectly feasible for the horse to have been disturbed by this while Edward was in there. Afterwards, I wanted to get away from a place that held so many awful memories. I decided to sell the manor, but I was to receive a final, sickening blow; the attorney told me then of Edward’s debts and said that by the time the manor and its contents had been sold to pay off his creditors – it was not entailed – there would be no more than a few hundreds pounds a year to support Harriet, Dominic and myself. I had not expected much, but to hear it was so little was a shock and I fretted for months about our future.
‘When the sale of the manor was almost complete, news came to me that Great Uncle James had left me this house and Dr Dalton’s sister, Lady Bingham, had offered me use of her London townhouse for the season at a minimal rent. Perhaps you understand now why I was so reserved in my manner when I arrived in London, Hal – experience had left me unwilling to trust a man ever again.’
There was silence for a time; Isabella felt emotionally drained while Hal was still struggling to take in everything he had heard.
Eventually, he murmured, ‘Now I can conceive why you were so fragile and withdrawn … you had suffered so much and if Edward were not already dead …’ Jaw clenched, Hal said after a pause, ‘He took a young girl whose father had just died and who had little knowledge of the world, and violated you – for which crime alone I wish I could tear him limb from limb – and then continued to treat you and his son with cruelty and contempt for years … I hope he is rotting in Hell for his wickedness.’
He ground his teeth in fury until Isabella laid a hand on his arm. ‘Edward is dead, Hal; he cannot hurt me any more. Dominic will have to know the truth about his father one day, but he will understand and perhaps
remember enough of Edward’s behaviour to know I speak the truth. At least now I have you to love me and that is all I ever want.’
He looked into her face and his heart quickened with love. Both his eyes and Isabella’s were wet; they were not only tears for the past, but also tears of joy for the future. ‘Isabella … I swear … I swear that I would never force you into anything,’ he said, the timbre of his voice roughened with emotion.
‘I know you would not.’
‘And I will love, cherish and protect you always, putting your welfare and happiness above my own.’
‘I know that too,’ she whispered.
Folding her into his embrace, Hal kissed her fiercely, eager to ensure all she would know from this moment would be the pleasure and security that his love would bring.
Chapter 19
During the days that followed, Isabella talked, laughed, made plans and shared passionate kisses with Hal, and could hardly believe that her life was so altered. She was relaxed and content for the first time in her adult life. Hal cursed good-naturedly that they had to wait even a day to be married and Isabella agreed; despite those exquisite kisses, she longed for something more.
On their return to London, Lady Bramwell welcomed her with open arms. ‘My dear Isabella, if you had refused to marry my son, I would have feared for his reason,’ she declared. ‘I’m so happy for you both – having enjoyed a loving marriage myself, nothing will give me greater pleasure than to see you and Hal rejoice in the same.’
Sir Seymour and Harriet were married at St George’s in Hanover Square, Dinny looking every inch the proud and sartorially extravagant bridegroom in his claret coat, puce and gold waistcoat, and his cravat tied in a style created and named for the occasion: the Dinniscombe Dash. Afterwards, they departed to spend a few days on Sir Seymour’s estate in Gloucestershire. Marguerite, Isabella and Julia, meanwhile, left London with Hal and Dominic for the journey to Chenning, where everyone was to join them for Hal and Isabella’s wedding. Lady Bingham, Dr Dalton and Alicia Knowles and her husband had also been invited to the ceremony.
Lady Vane's Secret (Regency Secrets and Scandals Book 1) Page 21
