by Sherri Hayes
“Well?”
“Well, what?” He’d been so caught up in studying her reactions, he must have missed something she said.
“I love you, and you love me, too. I’m not letting you get away that easily.”
“I never should have told you.”
“Why?” she asked.
Paul took a step back and lowered himself into the chair once more. “Because it doesn’t change anything. I’m still bad for you, Megan.”
She scowled at him. “And what about Chloe? Are you going to send her away, too?”
That surprised him. “What are you talking about?”
“Well, if people being in close proximity to you is such a bad thing, then I’d think you’d want your daughter as far away from you as you can get her. It’s only logical, after all.”
He blinked. “You think I should send Chloe away?”
“No. That’s my point.”
Paul sighed, and leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. “I see what you’re trying to do, but it’s different. Chloe is my daughter—my responsibility. She already lost her mother. It wouldn’t be fair for her to lose me as well.”
“You realize how crazy that sounds, don’t you?”
He shrugged, not really sure what she wanted him to say. The situation with Chloe was different. Making sure she was taken care of and loved was the last thing he could give Melissa.
“Will you do me a favor?”
He looked up at Megan, afraid of what she might say next. “What?”
“Stop trying to do what you think is best for me.”
“I don’t know if I can do that.” It was the truth. Paul had always been the protector—for as long as he could remember.
“Try.”
Neither of them said anything for several minutes.
“You really aren’t going to leave, are you?” He wasn’t sure if he was happy about that or not. It would be better for her to go, but selfishly he wanted her to stay.
“No.”
Resigned, Paul leaned back in his chair. Despite everything, he felt himself grin.
“Care to share what’s so funny?” she asked.
“I honestly don’t know.”
Megan smiled. “Will you come closer? I want to be able to touch you, and I don’t think the nurse will like it much if I try to tear the needle out of my hand again.”
He hesitated and then scooted his chair closer. Taking hold of her hand, he laced their fingers together. Even something as simple as touching her made him feel better. He was still scared for her, although he wasn’t sure anything would ever take that away completely.
“So Becca’s coming tomorrow.”
Paul nodded. “Yeah. She was pretty hysterical on the phone when I first told her. Once she knew you were going to be all right, she calmed down.”
Megan rolled her eyes. “That isn’t surprising. My sister has a tendency to overreact. Especially when it comes to me.”
“You almost died, Megan. If I hadn’t gotten there when I did . . .”
She squeezed his fingers. “But you did.”
He didn’t argue with her. What would be the point?
Deciding to redirect the topic of conversation a little, he shared what he hoped she’d consider good news. “I spoke to the doctor before I called your sister. He says you should be able to go home in a few hours.”
“That’s what the nurse told me, too. So did you tell Becca to come to the house, then?” she asked.
“Yes. That helped to calm her as well. I’m sure she figured you really were going to be okay if they were sending you home.” Paul lifted her hand and placed a light kiss in the center of her palm.
“She’s asked about you.”
He raised his eyebrows in question.
“Becca’s curious about the guy I’m seeing.”
“Oh.” For some reason that made him nervous.
“Paul?”
He must have lowered his gaze involuntarily, because he had to force himself to look up to see her. She had a serious expression on her face.
“Do you want to be with me? I know you’re afraid of what might happen, but aside from that, what is it you want?” she asked.
That was easy. He wanted her. Megan brought a joy into his life he never thought he’d experience again after Melissa was taken from him.
When he didn’t answer, she placed her hand on the side of his face like she had earlier. This time, he didn’t pull away. “Do you want to be with me?”
“Yes.” He couldn’t deny it.
She smiled, and it stirred something in the pit of his stomach. “Forever?”
He closed his eyes and nodded. “Heaven help me, but yes.”
“Good. I’m glad.”
When he opened his eyes again, she was grinning from ear to ear. “Megan, I—”
“Paul, I want to ask you something.”
She stroked her fingers along the line of his jaw, making it difficult for him to concentrate on anything else. She had his full and undivided attention.
“I love you. I love being with you. This past week, I’ve been happier than I can ever remember being. Even before then, when we were only friends, you brought things into my life I’d never had before. You accepted me into your home—into your family. I’d never had that. Becca has always been the only one I could count on, and then there you were. After knowing me for a day, you brought me home with you to start a new life. I will never be able to thank you enough for that.”
He wasn’t sure what to say, so he said nothing.
“I know you think my life would be better without you in it, but I know for a fact it wouldn’t. I’ve been there before. I know what it’s like. I don’t want that again. Every morning, I wake up excited to find out what cute thing Chloe will do that day. Plus, who would I get to play poker with me?”
He chuckled, remembering their late night poker games.
“You make me feel part of something, Paul. I don’t want to ever give that up. I want to stay with you and Chloe. Forever.”
She took a deep breath, and he knew something big was coming. “Will you marry me?”
Paul sat there stunned for a long moment. “You-you want to marry me?”
“Yes.”
He sat there unmoving.
“But the question is do you want me to be your wife?” she asked.
All the reasons why he wasn’t right for Megan swirled through his mind. Was she being serious? Had she lost more blood than they’d thought?
Looking at her, he knew the answer. She was completely serious.
“This is really what you want?” He had to be sure.
“You’re not supposed to answer a question with a question, Detective, but yes, it’s what I want. I wouldn’t have asked, otherwise.”
He removed her hand from his face—her left hand—and rubbed his thumb over her ring finger. “The guy is supposed to be the one who asks, you know.”
She snorted. “Well, you know me. I’m not exactly traditional.”
Paul laughed. “No. That you’re not.”
“Well?” She was still waiting on an answer.
“Only if you agree that I’m the one that gets to buy you an engagement ring. We have to stick to some traditions.”
Megan beamed. “So is that a yes?”
He smiled back. “Yes.”
Chapter 28
It was after four in the morning before Megan was released from the emergency room. They were both exhausted, and all Paul could think about was getting her home. He knew they wouldn’t get more than a few hours’ sleep with Rebecca coming, but some was better than none.
The doctor told Megan to get as much rest as possible over the next few days so her body could heal. She was supposed to follow up with her family doctor in two days. The cut along her neck wasn’t more than a scratch, and Rollins had only cut one of her wrists. She’d more than likely have a scar for the rest of her life, but all things considered, she’d been lucky.
They were also getting more information filtering in regarding Rollins. He’d served as an army medic for four years after high school, before joining the police force. It explained the precise cuts on the women. He’d known exactly how and where to cut in order to inflict the damage he wanted. They still weren’t sure why he’d targeted them.
Paul pulled into the driveway and glanced over at Megan. She was asleep. As much as he didn’t want to wake her, he doubted he’d be able to pick her up and carry her upstairs to bed.
“Megan? We’re home, sweetheart. Do you think you can walk? We need to get you into bed.”
She fluttered her eyes open. “Paul?”
He limped around to the passenger side and opened the door for her. “Come on, let’s get you inside so you can rest.”
It took some effort, but he managed to help her out of the car and into the house through the front door. He was glad she was out of it because they had to walk through the small hallway that connected the living room to the kitchen. The same area where Rollins took his last breath.
Paul had a momentary stab of indecision when they reached the top of the stairs. Should he take her to her bedroom, or his?
Megan sagged against him, and he decided to throw caution to the wind. She was his fiancée, after all. Of course, that was assuming she didn’t change her mind once she was feeling better. He didn’t think she would, though. Megan was never fickle. Once she made up her mind about something, she didn’t back down.
Bypassing Megan’s bedroom, he walked the extra steps to his. Everything was exactly as they’d left it earlier that morning, including the lingering scent of sex in the air.
Guiding her to the bed, Paul sat her on the mattress, and bent to take off the slippers the hospital had provided. She smiled down at him. The doctor had given her some pain medication before they left. It wasn’t terribly strong, he said, but whatever it was, it had knocked her out almost as soon as they got into his car.
When Paul had her slippers removed, he began working on the rest of her clothes. Along with the footwear, the hospital had supplied a pair of scrubs for both of them. Given they’d both come into direct contact with Rollins, their clothing had been taken as evidence.
The top was easy enough to lift over her head. The bottoms, however, were another matter. He had to help her lie back on the bed, shimmy them over her hips, and then down her legs. It might sound simple, but Megan was dead weight in her current condition.
Leaving her side for a minute, Paul rushed into her bedroom to grab one of her more chaste nighties. The last thing he needed was to be more tempted than he already was.
When he reentered his bedroom, he found Megan sitting up and trying to unclasp her bra.
“What are you doing?”
She looked up at his approach. “I can’t get it off.”
“Here. Let me help.” He brushed her hands away and released the hooks holding her bra in place.
Megan sighed.
Paul snatched up the nightie he’d brought from the other room and slipped it over her head. The sooner he got her covered up, the less distracted he would be.
Getting her under the covers proved to be another challenge. Even after she was tucked securely under the blankets, he wasn’t sure how they’d accomplished it. There had been rolling and lifting and pulling. If he hadn’t already been ready to pass out, that would have done it.
Shedding his own borrowed scrubs, Paul checked the clock beside his bed, and set the alarm for ten. Rebecca wasn’t due to arrive until sometime after ten thirty, and he wanted to have time to wake up and shower.
Rolling onto his side, Paul wrapped his arm loosely around Megan’s waist. Although he knew he should keep his hands to himself, he needed to feel her near him. It was the only way he could convince himself she was safe.
It hadn’t taken him long to fall asleep. With Megan’s warmth pressed against his chest, he’d sunk into a deep slumber. Unfortunately, it was short-lived. Paul woke up a few hours later in a cold sweat. It was the same dream he always had from the night Melissa died—with one exception. When he’d been called over to identify the body, it wasn’t Melissa’s face he’d seen. It was Megan’s.
He sat up, holding his head in his hands, trying to breathe through the nightmare. His heart was pounding a mile a minute in his chest.
“Are you okay?” a sleepy voice mumbled beside him.
Paul glanced over and saw Megan gazing up at him. He tried to smile. “I’m all right. Go back to sleep.”
“Not until you talk to me.”
He tried to calm his thundering heart.
“Come here.”
Paul shook his head. “Your arm.”
She inched closer. “My arm’s fine. Just be careful you don’t bump my wrist.”
He debated for a long moment, but decided not only was it not worth the effort arguing with her, he also needed her comfort.
Resting his head gently on Megan’s shoulder, he let her warmth penetrate all the way down to his soul.
“Do you want to tell me about it?” she asked.
Did he? Outside of the department psychologist, he’d never told anyone about his nightmares. Even then, he’d downplayed them. “It’s the same nightmare I always have. Sort of.”
She laid her cheek against his head, drawing him closer.
“The night she died. The state highway patrolman knocked on my door to tell me what had happened and that they needed me to come down to the morgue to identify the body.”
He heard Megan suck in a breath, but other than that, she didn’t react.
“I couldn’t leave Chloe alone, so I packed her up and drove her the few miles to George and Cindy’s house. Of course, I had to explain why I was there. Cindy fell to the floor and began sobbing uncontrollably. George didn’t fare much better, but he kept it together enough to comfort his wife.
“Once she calmed down a little, I promised them I’d be back as soon as I could, and left Chloe with them while I drove to the morgue. It was the longest drive of my life. I’d driven back and forth to my in-laws’ house many times over the years, but this felt ten times as long, even though it took me no more than ten minutes. Me going to identify the body was a technicality. The woman driving matched Melissa’s description, and she’d been driving her car. Her purse and ID were in the vehicle as well. There wasn’t likely to be a mix-up.”
Although talking about it was hard, this was the first time he’d been able to do so without going into a panic. “In the dream, I’m walking down to the morgue. I pass my colleagues—their faces full of pity. Then I step into the viewing room, and the coroner pulls the sheet down.”
He was quiet for several moments. “Usually I see Melissa’s face staring back at me. This morning, it was yours.”
She hugged him, and he wondered if it was putting too much pressure on her wrist. He went to pull away.
“Don’t. Please,” she begged.
Unable to deny her, he settled back down against her warmth. “I can’t lose you like that, Megan. I can’t.”
“You won’t.”
“How can you be so sure?” he asked.
Paul felt her smile against his forehead. “Because if you haven’t figured it out, I’m pretty stubborn. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
He grinned and tilted his head up to look into her eyes. “Were you serious about being my wife?”
“You better believe it.”
Reaching up, he ran his thumb along her cheek, down across her lips. “I love you.”
Their moment was interrupted by his alarm. Paul groaned. “I need to get up and shower before your sister ge
ts here.”
Megan reluctantly let him go. “Are you picking her up?”
“No. I offered, but she insisted she could grab a cab.”
She nodded and tried to get up.
Paul rushed to her side to help her. “You really should stay in bed and rest.”
“I know they cleaned me up some at the hospital, but it still feels like I have a layer of . . . something on me. Do you think you could help me shower? There should be some plastic wrap downstairs to cover my bandage.” If need be, Megan could manage a shower on her own, but it would be easier with his help. Plus, she was always up for opportunities to see Paul naked.
“Sit down on the bed, and I’ll see what I can find.” She could tell he wasn’t keen on the idea, but at least he wasn’t going to fight her.
He returned a few minutes later with the roll of plastic wrap. They wound the clingy material around her wrist until everything was covered completely.
The shower was uneventful, for the most part. Paul and Megan shared some kisses, but that was where it ended. Although she would have been up for a little more, he was firmly in caregiver mode. Megan accepted it, and was content to know he was no longer pushing her away.
Paul helped her to dry off and get dressed. Megan didn’t want to greet her sister lying in bed, so she asked him if he’d help her downstairs. He got her set up on the couch, and after giving her a soft kiss, he headed into the kitchen to make them something to eat.
He was still in the other room when Rebecca and Gage arrived. As soon as he let them in the door, her sister pushed him aside to join Megan on the couch. Rebecca surveyed Megan’s injuries, and fawned over her like a mother hen.
“What happened?”
Megan wrinkled her brow. “Paul didn’t tell you?”
Rebecca waved her hand dismissively. “He told me, but I want to hear it from you. Megan, why did you let that man in the house? How many times have I told you—”
“Maybe you should go easy on her, Rebecca. She did just get out of the hospital,” Gage said.
