The man was tall, six-feet-one at least, and Tess, who was also tall, appreciated men whose shoulders weren't even with her own. He had healthy, glowing, tanned skin, and square-jawed, rugged, classically handsome features. His body was perfectly proportioned, muscular yet trim. His clothes were similar to hers. Sneakers, jeans, a blue cotton shirt, the collar of which projected from a burgundy cotton pullover. But his eyes, though. They were what Tess most noticed. They glinted with a radiance that seemed to come from his soul, and their color was unusual, gray, a tint that Tess had encountered only in the heroes of arousing romance novels that she'd read with guilty pleasure during her middle teens.
As she tried to look dignified, the stranger's good-natured smile persisted. 'Tough day?'
'Not bad. Just long,' Tess said.
The stranger pointed toward the boxes she held. 'And apparently about to get longer.'
Tess blushed. 'I guess I try to do too much.'
That's better than doing too little.' The stranger pressed the elevator button marked LOBBY and narrowed his eyes toward her pen. 'Gold Cross,' he said, noting the manufacturer's name. The words seemed to have particular significance for him. He attached the pen to the clipboard and gave them to her.
Briefly their hands touched. Static electricity must have leapt, for Tess's fingers tingled.
'You work for Earth Mother Magazine!' the stranger asked.
'How did you-?'
The labels on those boxes.'
'Oh, of course.' Tess blushed again. 'And you? You came from the floor below mine. There's only one business on that floor. A TV production firm. Truth Video.'
'Right. By the way, I've read your magazine. It's excellent. In fact, I'm putting together a documentary that's related to your work – a video on the lack of sufficient safeguards at nuclear-waste sites. Between your work and mine, I can't think of anything more important.'
Than trying to save the planet?' Tess nodded, despondent. 'If only more people felt the same way.'
'Well, that's the problem, isn't it?'
'Oh?' Tess frowned. 'I see so many problems. Which one do you-?'
'Human nature. I'm not sure the planet can be saved.'
Tess felt surprised by his response.
The elevator stopped.
'Do you need help with those boxes?' the stranger asked.
'No, really, I can manage.'
Then let me hold open the lobby door.'
They emerged to frenzied pedestrians, blaring traffic, acrid exhaust fumes, and a smog-dirtied sunset.
This is what I mean.' The stranger shook his head, sounding mournful. I'm not sure the planet can be saved.' He helped Tess hail a taxi, peered around as if in search of someone, told her 'God bless,' and walked briskly away, blending with the crowd, disappearing almost magically into it.
Tess's fingers still tingled.
TWO
The next morning, standing in the lobby, waiting for the elevator, Tess glanced toward the right, noticed the stranger enter the building, and felt her cheeks flush.
'Well, hello again,' he said.
Flustered by her attraction to him, doing her best to hide it, Tess managed a pleasant smile. 'Nice morning.'
'Isn't it, though? When I went for my run, a breeze cleared the air. There's still not much smog yet.'
'You run?'
'Every day.'
'Hey, so do I,' Tess said.
'It shows.'
Tess felt her cheeks flush even more.
'Good for the body,' the stranger said, 'good for the soul.'
'I try.'
They lapsed into silence.
The silence lengthened.
This elevator.' Tess sighed.
'Yes. Awfully slow. But I do my best to take everything as it comes.'
'Sort of like "patience is a virtue"?'
The man debated. 'Let's call it a discipline.'
The doors slid open.
There. You see.' The stranger pointed. 'Everything in time.'
They entered the elevator.
'I promise not to drop anything,' Tess said.
'I was pleased to help.'
'But I didn't have a chance to thank you.'
'Not necessary,' the stranger said. 'You'd have done the same thing for me.'
Tess watched him push buttons for his floor, then hers, and noted with satisfaction that he didn't wear a wedding ring.
The stranger turned. 'I suppose – if we're going to keep bumping into each other – we ought to introduce ourselves.'
Tess loved the way his gray eyes twinkled. She told him her name, or at least her first name. By habit, she deliberately didn't mention that her last name was Drake because people occasionally associated it with her well-known father, and she felt upset whenever she had to talk about the brutal way he'd been killed.
'Tess?' The stranger cocked his head and nodded. 'Beautiful. That's short for…'
'Theresa.' Again she didn't tell the stranger the full truth. Although Tess' was sometimes used as a shortened form of 'Theresa', her nickname resulted from her father's teasing practice of calling her 'Contessa Theresa' when she was a child. He'd finally shortened it lovingly to just Tess'.
'Of course,' the dark-haired, strikingly handsome man said. Theresa. The Spanish mystic, the originator of the Carmelite Order of nuns.'
Tess blinked, surprised. 'I didn't know. That is… I wasn't aware of…'
'It doesn't matter. I've got a knack for collecting all sorts of useless information.'
'And your name?' Tess asked.
'Joseph.'
No last name, Tess noted, just as she hadn't volunteered hers.
The elevator jerked to a stop.
'I guess it's time again for my penance,' Joseph said.
'It can't be that bad. Last night, I got the impression you enjoyed your work.'
'Documenting the decay of the planet? That's hardly enjoyable. Still, I do get satisfaction from trying to accomplish some good.' Joseph left the elevator and turned to her, his face glowing. 'God bless.'
As the doors slid shut and Joseph disappeared, Tess's stomach sank, but not from the upward motion of the elevator.
THREE
The next day, Friday, Tess became so absorbed in her article that she worked through her lunch hour. At quarter after two, the rumbles in her stomach made her finally decide that her concentration would suffer if she didn't get something to eat.
When she entered the elevator, she thought of Joseph. Descending, it stopped at the floor below hers. Again, she tingled. No, she thought. This is just a coincidence.
But her knees went weak when the doors slid open and Joseph entered.
He grinned, apparently not at all surprised to see her. 'Looks like we're destined to keep bumping into each other.' He pressed the button marked LOBBY. 'How's your penance?'
Standing close to him, feeling his arm against hers, Tess tried to control her breathing. 'Penance?' Abruptly she remembered that he'd used that expression yesterday. 'Oh, you mean my work. I'm doing an article on acid rain. It's going well.'
'Can't ask for better than well.'
'I…'
'Yes?'
'Don't you think it's odd, to say the least, that you and I decided to take the elevator at…"
'The same moment? Joseph shrugged. 'The world's an odd place. Long ago, I decided to accept fate instead of question it. Some things are meant to happen.'
'Like kismet or karma?'
' Providence.' Joseph's gray eyes glinted. 'Late lunch?'
Tess smelled his aftershave lotion and couldn't keep her voice from quavering. 'I lost track of time.'
'Me, too. Clock time anyhow. There's a deli across the street. Care to join me?'
Gooseflesh prickled Tess's arms. 'Only if it's Dutch treat.'
Joseph spread his hands. 'Whatever you like. But for me, it'll still be a treat.'
Outside, on the noisy sidewalk, they waited for a break in traffic and darted across toward the deli. The af
ternoon was humid, the struggling sunlight dull with exhaust haze. As Tess reached the opposite sidewalk, she glanced toward Joseph and couldn't help noticing that, just as the first time she'd met him, he peered around as if searching for someone in the crowd. Why? She repressed a frown, wondering – influenced by her father's habits – did Joseph think that he was being watched? Come on, she told herself. This isn't a secret meeting. Get real.
The brightly lit deli, after the noon-hour rush, was only a quarter full.
'Our pastrami's very good today,' the waiter said.
'Thanks. No meat, though,' Joseph said. 'I'd like your tomato, sprouts, and cucumber sandwich.'
'Cole slaw? How about a dill pickle?'
'Might as well. And a bottle of mineral water.'
'Sounds good,' Tess said. The same for me.' When the waiter left, she studied Joseph. 'No meat? You're a vegetarian?'
'It's not a big deal. Meat just doesn't agree with me. Besides, this is Friday.'
Tess – a Roman Catholic – thought she understood the reference. Years ago, Catholics had not been allowed to eat meat on Friday. But only elderly, extremely conservative Catholics still obeyed that outmoded rule, and Joseph, like her, was young enough that he couldn't have been conditioned to abstain from meat on Friday for fear of committing a sin.
The reason I asked' – Tess subdued her puzzlement – 'is that I'm mostly a vegetarian, too.'
'Well, that's something else we share in common.'
'Like being Roman Catholic?'
Joseph frowned. 'What makes you think I'm a Catholic?'
'No meat on Friday.'
'Ah,' Joseph said. 'I see. No, I don't belong to that religion.'
'Sorry. I apologize. I guess I'm asking too many questions.'
'Don't worry about it. I'm not offended.'
Then as long as I'm… If you don't mind, let me ask you something else,' Tess said.
'I'm waiting.'
'Why did you look so nervous when you crossed the street?'
Joseph laughed. 'In New York? With all the junkies and crazy drivers? Who doesn't look nervous?'
'One more question.'
'Sure.'
'… Would you like to see me tomorrow?' Tess's boldness surprised her. Her heart skipped.
'Would…?' Joseph concentrated, peered down at the table, toyed with his knife and fork, then focused his intense gray eyes upon her. 'Of course. I'd enjoy your company very much.'
Tess exhaled.
'But I have to be honest.'
Damn, Tess thought. Here it comes. This is what I was afraid of. A man this gorgeous, he's probably going to tell me he's involved with someone.
'By all means.' She straightened and pressed her hands on the table, preparing herself. 'I appreciate honesty.'
'We can only be friends.'
I'm not sure what…'
'What I mean is, we can never be lovers.'
His frankness startled her. 'Hey,' Tess said, 'I wasn't making a proposition. It's not like I asked you to go to bed.'
'I know that. Really, your behavior's impeccable.' Joseph reached across the table and tenderly touched her hand. She noticed he had a jagged scar on the back of his wrist. 'I didn't mean to offend or embarrass you. It's just that… there are certain things about me you wouldn't understand.'
'I think I do understand.'
'Oh?'
'You're gay? Is that it?'
Joseph laughed. 'Not at all.'
'I mean, it wouldn't bother me or anything if you are gay. I'd just like to know. I don't want to make a bigger fool of myself than I already have.'
'Believe me, Tess, I'm not gay, and you haven't made a fool of yourself.'
Then maybe you've had some kind of accident, and…'
'You mean, have I been emasculated? Hardly. The truth is, I'm extremely flattered that you want to spend time with me. But I have certain… well, let's call them obligations. I can't explain what they are or why I have to abide by them. You just have to trust and believe and accept. The point is, I welcome your friendship.'
'Friendship?' Tess squirmed. 'I once got rid of a persistent boy in high school by telling him that I only wanted him as a friend.'
'But this isn't high school,' Joseph said. 'If you want my companionship… and I'd enjoy yours… I hate to sound formal, but those are my terms.'
'Listen.' Tess bit her lip. 'Maybe we ought to forget it.'
'Why? Because you can't imagine a male and female relationship that doesn't result in sex?' Joseph asked.
'God, I feel like such an idiot.'
'Don't,' Joseph said. 'You're a healthy, intelligent, attractive woman with normal desires. But I'm'-Joseph's gaze intensified -'totally different.'
'You'll get no argument. And maybe that's why…'She couldn't believe she was saying this. 'I want to be with you.'
'Platonically,' Joseph said.
'All right. Sure. For now. But who knows…?'
'No, Tess. Not just for now, but always. Trust me, that way is better.'
'Why?'
'Because it's eternal.'
'You're the strangest man I ever met,' Tess said.
'I'll accept that as a compliment.'
'Okay.' Tess increased her resolve. 'What time tomorrow?'
'Ten a.m.?' Joseph suggested. The upper East Side. Carl Schurz Park. Off Eighty-Eighth Street. Next to the mayor's house.'
'I know it.'
There's a jogging track beside the river. Since we exercise every day, we might as well do it together.'
'Swell,' Tess said. 'So we jog, and I work off my attraction to you?'
'Exercise works wonders, my platonic friend.'
'Maybe for you.'
Joseph grinned with good nature. 'It's like a cold shower.'
'I have to warn you,' Tess said. 'I'll do my best to tempt you.'
'It won't do any good,' Joseph said. 'Really, I'm untemptable.'
'I consider that a challenge.'
FOUR
Even at ten a.m., the jogging track off the wooded park next to the East River was crowded. The absence of commuter traffic freed the air of smog and exposed an unfamiliar glorious sky. Senior citizens sat on benches, enjoying the weekend's peace. On the left, in a court past a waist-high wrought- iron fence, teenagers played basketball.
Sunbathers spread blankets on grass, enjoying the unusually intense June sun. People walked dogs through the trees. What a gift, Tess thought. What a beautiful day. How rare.
She'd worn a blue jogging suit that complemented the turquoise color of her eyes. Although loose, it managed to reveal her figure, her lean, lithe body and firm, upwardly tilted breasts. A red sweatband encircled her forehead, emphasizing her short blond hair. She leaned her taut hips against the railing that separated the jogging track from the river and studied the runners surging past, many of whom listened to earphones attached to miniature radios strapped to their waists. Her own preference was not to be distracted by music but instead to devote herself exclusively to the high she gained from prolonged exercise. The Zen-like pleasure on the runners' sweating faces made her eager to join them. Soon, she thought. Joseph will be here anytime.
As she waited, she continued to be amazed by her irresistible attraction to him. Certainly he was good-looking, but Tess had gone out with many good-looking men and had never felt so intense an identification with them. Most had been so aware of their looks that she couldn't bear their egos. She'd discovered that one had been seeing three other women while pretending that Tess was the only woman he cared about. Another had been an up-and-coming TV executive whose primary interest in Tess was having someone to tell him how great he was while he gained power.
For the past six months, she hadn't gone out with anyone. Maybe that explained her attraction to Joseph, Tess thought. A combination of overwork and loneliness. But the more she considered that explanation, the more she dismissed it. There was something – she couldn't find the proper words – different about him. A handsome man who wasn't in lo
ve with his handsomeness, who treated her with deference, who was easy to talk to, who related to her as a human being, not a potential sexual conquest. All of that certainly counted. Even so, she'd never before been this insistent and candid to a man about her interest in him. Why? There was something else about him. What was it? The unfamiliar sensation not only puzzled but disturbed her.
She didn't know which direction Joseph would come from, right or left, or straight ahead through the wooded park, so she turned her gaze often, watching for him. We should have chosen a specific spot to meet, she decided and continued to scan the crowd. Still, there's no one nearby on either side of me. Joseph shouldn't have any trouble noticing where I am.
Because she'd looked forward to spending time with him, Tess had arrived here early, at quarter to ten, but now as she glanced at her jogger's watch, she was troubled to see that it was quarter after ten.
Had they failed to see each other?
She studied the crowd more intensely. Then her watch showed half-past ten and with frustrating slowness eleven o'clock, and she told herself that something important must have delayed him.
But when her watch showed eleven-thirty, then noon, she angrily understood the explanation for his absence.
This had happened to her only once, in her junior year of college, her date having gotten so drunk at a Saturday afternoon frat party that he'd become too sick to take her to a movie that night and hadn't bothered to phone to explain he wasn't coming. That had been the end of that relationship.
And now Joseph, too, had stood her up. She couldn't believe it. Disappointment fought with fury. Fury won.
The son of a…! He'd seemed too good to be true, and that's exactly what he was. Tess, we can only be friends? Well, buddy, you blew it. We're not friends.
The Covenant Of The Flame Page 4
