As he slowly thrust in and out, I could feel my body tremble from the touch of his lips to my skin. We made love slowly, enjoying our first coupling as husband and wife. We reached our threshold and both our bodies stiffened when we reached climax together. I pulled him to me and kissed him again. I could feel his body still trembling from his release.
He collapsed onto the bed and let out a heavy sigh. We lay on our sides and he pulled me against him where we fell asleep in each other's arms.
When we woke the next morning, it was the beginning of our new life together. I rolled over and he kissed me.
"My wife.”
"My husband."
As we drifted off to sleep again, I felt more at peace than I ever had in my life. Brian is and always will be my life, my heart, my soul—my husband.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
We waited a few days before leaving for our honeymoon in Hawaii. Brian had to make sure his shifts at Freeman's were covered. We spent two weeks in Hawaii, only leaving the room a few times to do a bit of sight-seeing or take a dip in the hotel pool. Ron planned the most extravagant honeymoon for us. We began our trip with a visit to the northeast coast of the main island. It was quite wet and rained often.
We shared a slow, passionate kiss outside our hotel in the gently falling rain. "Dad probably made reservations here knowing we wouldn't be leaving the hotel room much anyway," Brian said with a chuckle.
After our visit to the main island, we visited Lanai, one of the smaller islands. We stayed a few days at the Four Seasons resort which was a large place, but we didn't see many visitors there.
A week into our trip, we visited the tropical island paradise of Oahu. The scenery wasn't as breathtaking as we'd imagined because of all the buildings, but we did manage to get to do some sight-seeing in downtown Honolulu, visiting some of the historic buildings there.
The last leg of our honeymoon was spent on the island of Kauai. When we arrived, we were informed this island was one of the rainiest, but during our stay, the weather cooperated nicely.
After a day of sight-seeing, we spent the rest of the evening on the beach, swimming and splashing around. Brian set up our new video camera near our beach chairs and left it recording for a bit while we romped and splashed in the water off shore. He took me by the hand and led me back to our beach chairs. He pulled me close and kissed me, a kiss so electrifying, it felt as if my feet weren't even touching the ground.
As Brian broke our kiss, he looked into the camera with his arms around me and shouted for the whole world to hear, "I love this woman!"
We hugged then I turned toward the camera and whispered seductively, "I love this man!" My whispering always got Brian going. I nibbled on his ear while we hugged.
He turned off the camera then we sat down in our chairs enjoying the view of another spectacular sunset. After everyone had left the beach, Brian leaned in, kissed me and whispered in my ear.
"I want you now. Let’s make love right here on the beach."
I got out of my beach chair, took our towels and laid them out on the sand. I took his hand and together we sat side by side on the towels then I leaned in and kissed him, my fingers entwined through his hair. I lay back on the towels and Brian moved with me, neither of us breaking our kiss. We made love slowly beneath the blanket of stars in the night sky, feeling a gentle breeze blow across us from the water.
* * * *
Our honeymoon was amazing and the first thing Brian did after we arrived home was call his dad to thank him and Rose. Exhausted from all the traveling, we decided to leave the unpacking for morning and cuddled in our bed, falling sound asleep in each other's arms.
Brian had taken the following Monday after our return off work to stay home and help me unpack and visit with Adam, giving him all the souvenirs we had gotten for him. Tuesday, when Brian returned to work, his boss at Freeman's had told him the county was looking for a new tow truck driver and asked him if he'd be interested. Brian took the job without hesitation, knowing it was more money and a more secure job with great benefits and perks. One perk was being on call and getting paid for it, regardless if he was called out for a run or not. It allowed him to be home more often and spend more quality time with Adam and with me.
About a month had passed since Brian got his new job and I realized I was long overdue for my yearly physical. I made an appointment one morning and Brian dropped me off before he went to work.
"I'm workin' late t'night, sweetheart. I'll call when I'm on my way home." He put the car in park and turned to face me. “Love you.”
"Love you too, baby." I leaned in for a quick kiss before I attempted to get out of the car. Brian pulled me close and took the kiss deeper. I smiled against his lips, knowing he’d be late for work if one of us didn’t break it off.
“You’re gonna be late for work, sweetheart,” I said, reluctantly pulling away from him. Brian agreed and wished me well for my appointment, holding my hand as I got out of the car. "Brian, you've gotta get to work." I pulled my hand free and blew him a kiss before I closed the door.
* * * *
The doctor went over the results of my physical and gave me a clean bill of health, as I knew he would. I called Annie to come pick me up. We drove back to my house and chatted with the radio playing quietly in the background. I told her I was feeling tired and wanted to take a quick nap when we got back to my house, but I couldn't because I had work to do. She told me she'd stay to help if I wanted. While we continued chatting, we heard a news bulletin break in over the music. Annie reached out and turned up the volume.
Dallas County Road Commission reports a fatal accident on northbound Interstate 635, just north of Lake June Road
. Details are sketchy at this point. All we know is it was a multi vehicle accident and the interstate will be closed indefinitely for police investigation. Vehicles involved were a tow truck for Dallas County, a loaded semi truck and several cars. As more information is available, we'll bring it to you live. Now back to the music.
My heart sank. I immediately grabbed my cell phone and dialed Brian. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Four. "Hi, this is Brian. You know what to do," Brian's voice said on his voice mail.
"Brian! Call me as soon as you get this! I need to know you're all right. I just heard about an accident on the freeway. Please call me!" My hands shook as I closed my cell phone. I called Brian's work and they told me he was out on a run. Annie tried to calm me down, assuring me it wasn't Brian, even though she herself wasn’t so sure.
We pulled into the driveway, I ran into the house, and immediately turned on the news. It was a little after twelve p.m. and the noon news had already started. I sat and waited to hear anything more about the accident. Annie sat next to me, both of us glued to the screen. She got up to call Gordon, and then sat back down next to me, holding my hand while l trembled uncontrollably, watching the screen and listening intently.
We've got more reports coming in about the horrendous multi vehicle accident which closed Interstate 635. According to witnesses, a semi traveling in the center lane had to swerve to avoid a collision with a vehicle that appeared to be out of control. The semi missed the swerving vehicle, but sideswiped a Dallas County tow truck in the process, causing it to lose control and spin several times. The tow truck was hit by several oncoming vehicles before it came to rest in the far left lane. The driver of the semi was uninjured, but the driver of the tow truck and several other motorists were pronounced dead at the scene. Police have not released the names of the victims at this time, pending notification of their families. Stay tuned to this station for more on this breaking story. Back to you in the studio.
We watched as the cameras showed the wreckage. The semi was jackknifed in the center lane and was totally surrounded by smashed vehicles and a few roll-overs. The cameras panned toward the tow truck and it was totally demolished. You could see where the rescuers had to use the jaws-of-life to get to the driver. It was a horrifying scene.
After t
he story aired, Annie and I sat there staring blankly at the TV. I had to know if it was Brian! I called his dispatcher again.
"This is Brian Anterra's wife again. Is he back yet?" There was a disturbingly long pause on the other end of the line. "Are you there?"
"Yes, I'm here. You heard about the accident on the interstate?"
"Yes. I need to know if it was Brian driving the tow truck!"
Another painfully long pause.
"Yes ma'am."
I dropped the phone and fell into Annie's arms, sobbing hysterically. "Brian! No, no, no, this can't be happening!"
My life was over. I'd lost Brian forever. Annie leaned over, picked up the phone and dialed Gordon, informing him of what’d happened and asking him to contact Ron and Rose. She helped me to my feet and walked me to the bedroom where I fell to the bed, still sobbing uncontrollably. I cried myself to sleep and woke during the night, not realizing where I was. I reached behind me and felt the empty spot in the bed. Images of the horrible accident raced through my mind and I began to cry again.
"Brian!" I cried into my pillow. "Why did you leave me? What will I ever do without you?"
* * * *
Ron and Rose flew out to Texas the day after Brian died. The two of them, along with Annie and Gordon, helped pack up Brian's personal effects. I was of no help in any of this. All I could do is stare out the window in disbelief. When Ron had suggested donating Brian's clothes to the local Salvation Army, I nodded in agreement. As Rose pulled his clothes out of the closet and placed them on the bed to remove the hangers, I saw the shirt Brian wore the night he proposed.
I jumped out of my chair. "No one is taking this shirt!"
I returned to my chair, my knees pulled to my chest with his shirt clenched tightly in my hands, the collar just brushing my nose. I inhaled deeply and could still smell Brian's scent on the shirt, even though it’d been laundered. I looked at our wedding picture on the nightstand, picked it up, held it close to my chest along with the shirt and sobbed again.
I felt a hand on my shoulder as I cried into Brian's shirt. I lifted my head, looked around, but no one was in the room. I sat up when I heard sounds coming from the bathroom. I got up, walked over to the bathroom, no one was there. I called out to Rose and she answered from the kitchen. I asked her where everyone was. She told me they were packing the boxes of clothes into their rental car.
There was another noise, this time from the corner of the room near the chair. I pivoted quickly, no one was there. I sat down on the bed, still clenching Brian's shirt tightly, our wedding photo face down beside me on the bed.
I heard a familiar voice whisper my name from behind and felt another hand on my shoulder. Without thinking and everything still in a haze, I called out.
"Brian?" Looking around again, I saw no one. I lay back on the bed, drifting off to sleep.
When I woke a few hours later, the room was dark. I got out of bed, fumbled for the light on the nightstand and walked toward the door. When I opened the door, the house was dark, except a faint glow coming from the kitchen.
"Brian!”
I ran into the kitchen, thinking he’d cooked us another romantic dinner. The light in the kitchen was only the moonlight shining in the windows from outside. I flopped down into a chair, crying again.
I began talking out loud. "What to you want for breakfast tomorrow?" I stared blankly at the chair he always sat in, feeling warmth against my leg as if he were sitting next to me.
I heard his voice echo through my head with his typical response. "You!"
* * * *
After a few days, I felt as if I was losing my mind. I'd lay in bed at night, not able to sleep and I'd feel Brian's arm around my waist or his breath on my neck as he slept close. I'd reach behind me only to find nothing again.
I cried everyday, feeling and emptiness and a deep ache deep within me. I didn't know what to do without Brian in my life. This was different than when I’d pushed him away to be with Adam when we were still living in Michigan. I knew I'd never see him again, except in my dreams.
Ron told me I could make all the decisions as far as Brian's funeral arrangements. I wanted him taken back to Michigan to be buried next to his mother. At the funeral home, I knelt in front of Brian's casket, caressed his cheek, holding a photo he'd taken of Adam and me at the park last summer, and placed it in his hand as tears dripped from my chin onto the satin lining his casket.
Katie, Annie and Rose did their best to comfort me, but they knew nothing would help, I'd lost my soul. I walked over to Adam and hugged him tight while he sat with Jennifer. Ron wouldn't even walk up to Brian's casket; he stood a few feet away, crying. Rose held him tightly as they wept together.
After the funeral and burial, I called Nick and told him he could have his house back, I couldn't stay there any longer, it was too difficult. I moved back to Michigan a few weeks after the funeral. I found an apartment near where I had lived before. I visited Brian's grave everyday, spending many tear-filled hours there, talking to him.
"You promised we'd never be apart again, Brian," I sobbed at his headstone.
* * * *
Almost two months had passed since Brian's death. I still wear the shirt I took from our house in Texas when I sleep. I still cried myself to sleep every single night. I watched our wedding video every day and recalled out loud our wedding vows to each other as we recited them in the video.
In between crying and watching the video, I spent a lot of time staring out the window. I seemed to have developed a touch of the flu also, I felt nauseous and weak. I was in another emotionless trance when my cell phone rang. I walked over to the kitchen, took the phone out of my purse and answered it.
"Hello?”
"Mrs. Anterra?" the voice on the other end asked.
"Speaking."
"This is Kimberly from Dr. Tyler's office.” Kimberly was one of the nurses at the doctor’s office in Mesquite the day I got my physical, the last day I saw Brian alive.
"Oh. Hello Kimberly. What can I do for you?"
"Dr. Tyler wanted me to call you—“ she started. "I'm sorry to hear about your husband."
"Thank you. Why did Dr. Tyler want you to call?"
"He was going over the results of your physical again and noticed something he didn't see the first time. He wanted me to call you about it."
Oh good, more devastating news! Perfect! "Huh?" was all I could manage to say.
"Well, he knows you're back in Michigan now, Mrs. Anterra, so visiting the office wouldn’t be possible, but—“
"Just get to it already! Give me the bad news and be done with it!”
"On the contrary, Mrs. Anterra, it's good news!"
"My husband is dead. My heart is drained. I have nothing left of my life. Nothing is good news."
"Your husband is gone, but his spirit will live on. You have plenty left of your life."
"Look, Kimberly. I don't really need any of this spiritual afterlife bullshit right now. Just spit it out!"
"You're pregnant!" she exclaimed.
I fainted.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
I must have hit my head hard when I fainted, because things didn’t seem right. Everything was fuzzy and I felt as if I were in a daze, almost like I’d been drugged.
“What’s happening here?” I wondered to myself, but loud enough for someone to hear me.
A woman in white came to me, asked me if I knew my name and told me she’d be right back then left again. I still couldn’t tell where I was but everything was a bright white color. I was groggy and my head was spinning. I kept hearing the words “You're pregnant” echoing through my head.
The woman in white came back into my room a short time later. "You hit your head pretty hard, Mrs. Anterra. Thankfully your husband found you and brought you here."
"My husband? That's impossible! He died in a car accident! What kind of sick joke is this? Where the hell am I?" I was angry and confused.
"It's no joke, Mrs. Anterr
a. Your husband is waiting right outside." She pointed toward the hallway. "He's been right by your side since the EMS brought you in a few days ago. He didn't want to leave, but once you showed signs of waking up, we convinced him to go get some food and also to try and get some sleep. He refused to leave any longer than he had to, so he went to the cafeteria but returned a few minutes later with a bag of chips and a drink. He didn't even want to be away from your side long enough to eat downstairs. You're a very lucky woman to have a man who loves you so much, Mrs. Anterra. We nurses don't see that very often in our line of work."
"If my husband is waiting outside, then go get him and bring him in here!"
"Okay."
Brian walked in shortly after the nurse left and I sat there staring at him, my heart racing. He walked over to me with a worried look on his face. He leaned in and I grabbed him and pulled him in for a kiss.
"Oh my god! Brian! You're here! You're alive!" I cried into his shoulder as I hugged him.
"Of course I'm alive, sweetheart!" He broke our embrace. "What's wrong? You're shakin’ like a leaf!" He wiped the tears from my eyes and kissed me softly.
"Are you really here?"
"Yes, it's me. I'm really here. You look like you've seen a ghost, Kathy. What's wrong?"
I pulled him to me and hugged him tightly again. He was really alive! His arms were around me! I took a deep breath, filling my nostrils with his scent. I didn't want to let him go.
"Kathy, you're trembling. Will you tell me what's wrong? Did you have a bad dream or something?"
"Yes, Brian. I had the most horrible dream. It was so real. You got in an accident.”
"An accident? What accident?"
"I dreamt there was a horrible accident on the interstate and you were in it. It was so real Brian. I watched the news and the wreck was awful, there were smashed cars everywhere, your tow truck was completely demolished." I tried and failed to control the trembling in my voice. "The report on the news said the driver of the tow truck and several other drivers died in the accident. I called your dispatcher and he told me you were the one driving the tow truck involved in the accident!"
In Need of a Tow Page 12
