“David,” trying to calm him down, “you don’t have to do this.”
“It’s already done.”
A loud echoing gunshot filled the room, Rachael’s blood flying through the air splattering across my face.
My heart racing, sweating profusely, I frantically look around for Rachael making sure she okay after being startled out of my vivid nightmare. Letting out a big sigh of relief seeing her sound asleep next to me. Still dark outside, I see the rays of the sun starting to crack the horizon. Perfect timing, I needed to go get ready.
Not fully committed to any decision, I wanted to prepare myself for anything. Driving over to my other home, I needed to wait for Megan and everyone else to leave so I could sneak in and get the cash I needed for David. Staking out the driveway from a nearby alley between two houses across the street.
Seeing Megan emerge from the house was a disheartening sight. Sluggishly walking towards her car still in her pajamas, hair frazzled, not wearing a drop of make-up, her face was worn as if she hadn’t slept. The kids following in the same gloomy manner, except Amber. Dancing, smiling, and swinging her lunch box around excited for the day ahead of her, always so cute. Ben’s new Porsche still sitting in the driveway, but he quickly emerged from the house. Running to his car, probably running late like always. You could hear the engine echo throughout the neighborhood as he drove away.
The coast was clear, leaving my car in the alley, I quickly jogged over to the house. Rushing up to my office, tearing the carpet off of the hidden safe in the floor. Removing the metal cover that made the safe flush with the floor, I started rotating the dial ’06 left, 10 right, 66 left.’ Hearing the assuring click of a successful entry, I turn the handle, the bolts smacking down unlocking the door. Counting out fifty rolls, while tossing them into a black cotton duffel bag, the reserve of money has dwindled, only three rolls remained in the floor safe. What the hell, I will grab the rest. Slamming door to the now empty safe, repositioning everything as if I was never there. Reaching behind the air handler in the hallway, only one roll there, the air vent in the kitchen, empty. Contemplating for a few moments, AHA! Running across the house to look behind the ‘Starry Night’ painting. Wow, only two more here. I only had an extra $60,000 dollars, I needed to figure out a way to get more cash before Rachael and I were broke.
Retrieving my phone from my pocket, I did a quick google search ‘Gun Stores near me.’ The results were plentiful, so many to choose from, I didn’t know anything about guns. Picked the closest one to me ‘Double Tap Guns & Ammo--2.5 miles away’, sounds as good as any. Grabbing my duffel bag, I peered through the front window to make sure no one was around. Once I felt it was cleared I darted towards the alley. Rushing over, I get caught dead in my tracks.
“Kevin, what are you doing?”
In the corner of my eye, I see that nosy bitch Vicky.
“What do you got in your hand there?” Vicky continued to prod.
“Vicky, just leave me alone please. Don’t you have something better to do?”
“I just find it odd, a man sneaking into his own house. Then he sneaks out, holding a black bag. Kind of suspicious to me.”
“I find it odd how nosy a neighbor can be. Stop being in everyone’s fucking business,” storming into my truck.
Peeling out of the alley, I almost hit Vicky, wishing I kind of had. I hope Megan doesn’t talk to her, then she will really hate me.
Sitting in the parking lot of Double Tap, the building was run down. The columns in front of the building were cracked in half, the yellow dingy paint was peeling off the surface. Half of the sign on the top of the building was missing, windows duct tapped together.
What was I doing? I didn’t know how to use a gun, I don’t even think I could pull the trigger if I had to.
Gaining the courage to walk across the cracked asphalt of the parking lot took a little bit of self encouragement.
Pushing the front door open, a bell ringing above me to notify someone the door opened. A grizzly long bearded man appeared out of no where, staring at me. Making my way towards him in the back of the store, I couldn’t help but notice their ridiculous presentation. The stained carpet pulling off the floor emitting a pungent odor of mold. Display cabinets scratched furiously, not being able to see inside. The assortment of guns on the wall was overwhelming, rifles, machine guns, hand guns, even bullet proof vests.
“What do ya need?” The associates breathe reeked of alcohol, his beard stained yellow from cigarettes.
“I’m not really sure....What do you have?”
“Are ya trying to take down a bear or scare people?”
“A bear I guess,” cautiously not wanting to allude to what I needed it for.
Reaching into the cabinet in front of us, he pulls out a matte stainless steel handgun, the size of a cannon. “This is a Raging Bull 454, blow the fuck out of anything in front of you.”
Grasping it in my hand, the weight was noticeable, a few pounds at least. The cushioned grip felt just right in my hand, the barrel was excessive extending several inches.
“It’s a little much don’t you think?” Staring at it in disbelief, rotating it in my hands, inspecting it.
“Whelp, if you want to stop anything this is for you. I understand, it’s not for the little bitches. Let me show you our ‘Date Night Special,’” mocking me.
“No, I will take this one. Give me some bullets.”
“Here fill this out,” pulling a form out of the desk behind him, “and in three days you can come back and get it.”
“Uhh, what? I need this now.”
“State law sir. Nothing I can do about it.”
“Okay, well I need this now. How much for it to disappear?” Trying to pay my way for what I wanted like always.
“Well, I could say it was stolen,” rubbing his beard contemplating a number, “how is twenty grand?”
“For a two thousand dollar gun? I’m not paying that, fucking outrageous.”
“Well that’s the price of admission. Pay for it and wait or make it disappear,” he reiterated in a in charge tone.
“Fucking criminal, give me the bullets. Load it for me too,” I pulled a couple rolls out of my pocket, throwing them on the floor as I grabbed my gun and left.
“Have a good day sir,” chuckling under his breathe.
Staking out Toni’s from the Sushi-Gon parking lot trying to formulate a plan. Studying the cannon I bought, checking the loaded chamber, clicking through the safety switch, shoving a few extra bullets into my pocket -- just in case. There wasn’t anything going on outside of Toni’s, no one was entering and no one was leaving.
What am I doing? I’m not a killer, why am I doing all of this for Rachael? She is a great girl and all but she is destroying my life. My wife hates me, but she is still trying to work through my problems. Benjamin thinks I am an asshole. My business is starting to suffer due to my distant involvement. Wasting an inordinate amount of money on drugs, property, and miscellaneous bullshit. My like is spiraling out of control and I can’t seem to stop, I can’t get away. I don’t know what it is about her, the eyes, the body, Rachael needing me, appreciating me, making me feel young again it was a perfect storm.
A beat down, rugged grey Jeep Grand Cherokee pulls into the front of Toni’s, and what do you know, David hops out of the car. Standing behind his driver door I see him stuff something into the back of his jeans and cover it with his shirt. Grabbing a bag off his front seat he slams the door shut and trots into Toni’s with a smile on his face.
Waiting a couple more minutes, I got out of my truck with caution, not taking my eyes off the front door. Placing the gun behind my back in my pants, the wait was noticeable causing my pants to sag. Repositioning my pants and tightening my belt, untucking my shirt to cover the handle of the gun that was still visible. Grabbing my duffel bag off the passenger seat, I recounted the money quickly, removing any extra rolls. Walking casually and slowly across the parking lot to the front door of To
ni’s. An ominous aura surrounded the building, the sun suddenly hidden by black rolling clouds. The rumbling of thunder filled the air as I entered the building.
Swinging the door open with authority, I see Jess and David laughing and joking until they noticed it was me. Their faces completely dropped from happy and joyous to stern and serious.
“Your in on this too Jess?” I asked in disbelief.
“Well you took my best girl. Somebody has to pay for all the money I lost.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you? You know she is a person, not a piece of property,” trying to protect her.
David cuts in abruptly, “You got the money? No one gives a shit how you feel, business is business.”
Throwing the bag of money across the room at David. Catching it, slamming it on the table he opens the bag quickly and started to count through the money.
“It’s all there, now just leave us alone. I don’t want to see or hear from you again,” demanding with authority.
“You think this is everything? Your costing me a lot of money. This will give you a couple of months. We will be in touch when your rent runs short,” Jess explained.
“You conniving little bitch. If I hear from you again, it will be a bad day for both of you,” my eyes red in fury, reaching my hand behind me back as a threat.
David quickly reacted pulling his gun out of pants and pointing it firmly at me, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Or go ahead, try it, make my day.”
Smirking at him, “If you do that, you run out of drugs and money. Not a smart move on your part.”
Jess sat up in her chair, placing her forearms on the desk, staring sharply at me, “You think your the only rich guy unsatisfied with his marriage, looking for a hot young girl to rock his world? Your just the only one who obsessed over it and stole it from me. You guys are a dime a dozen, don’t be fooled into thinking she actually loves you. You disappear, she comes crawling back here looking for money and drugs, as if nothing happened. Your dumber than you look I guess.”
“You don’t know anything, leave us alone,” turning around to leave I hear David say something that really hit me.
“The drugs always win Kevin. You will never get her to your side, once the drugs run out, she find the person who has them and that’s who will win. Just remember that.”
“We’ll see you real soon, Kev,” Jess inserted mocking me.
Not turning around to reengage, I pushed the door open defeated. Strolling through the torrential down pour of rain. David was right, when she got sick she didn’t care what was going on or how she got her fix. Rachael needed it almost instantaneously or she would go into a frenzy. I needed to fix her, take her to rehab and get counseling. That was the answer once I do that, we could live happily ever after.
Racing home to share the good news with Rachael and talk to her about the rehabilitation. Speeding down the streets of Sand Dollar Shores, several police cars with their lights on were at the end of the street in front of our house. Rachael was sitting on the front stoop, balling her eyes out, smoking a cigarette. Her face still battered and bruised from David. Two cops surrounded her, writing notes in their notepads as she was talking to them. Wearing raincoats and plastic caps over their department issued covers. The rain getting significantly harder as the storm continued on. Rushing out of my car, my foot landing directly in a puddle as I hopped out of the car. Running up to her I get stopped sharply in my tracks by a firm hand to the chest.
“Kevin Barrick?” The cop asked me.
Looking towards him, I noticed it was the same cop who came here before, “You know it’s me.”
“You can’t go over there.”
“And why is that?”
“She accuses you of sexually abusing her, and shooting her up with heroin against her will.”
Looking at the cop in disgust, “Your fucking kidding me right? Does it look like I would do that?” Looking behind the cop at Rachael, “Rachael! Your joking right?” Trying to push the cop out of my way.
My clothes drenched, the gel from my hair creating a sticky film over my face as the rain continued to beat down on me.
Holding my arm stiffly, “Mr. Barrick, I am going to ask you to calm down and talk to me.”
“I’ll be calm once you let me go and I can go talk to her.”
“Listen, I can’t do that. Can we just go talk by your truck?” Walking me over to my truck. “Look, I know you didn’t do any of this, that’s why your not arrested. This is the kind of shit I was talking about when I was here last time. You will never break this cycle of attention and drama she craves. She will bring you down with her and you will just destroy your life. I can’t let you go over there, just go home.”
“What do you mean I can’t go over there, it’s my house. I am not leaving,” I replied with authority.
“I am doing you a favor. You have two choices, stay and get arrested or leave and stay a free man. The choice is yours,” reaching in his side holster removing handcuffs.
“Okay okay. Fine I will leave,” Giving one final look of confusion at Rachael as she continued to share her story with the cops.
In a fit of anger I peeled down the street the accelerator pushed firmly against the carpet of the truck. The tires screeching as they gained traction on the slick asphalt.
What a bitch! After all I did for her, all I am doing for her, she pulls this shit!’ How could I be so stupid, so naive to think I could help her. And I was going to help her? Make a better life for her? I am just destroying my own, I have a beautiful wife, loving family, how could I be so dumb to fuck this up. I flew into my driveway with confidence, I am going to fix all of this, I can fix it all. I am going to run in there, tell Megan everything and ask, no, beg for forgiveness.
Running up to the door, a piece of paper was posted on the front door. It simply read ‘Hope she fucks you good.’ Unfolding the paper to reveal the contents, my credit card bill. The embarrassment and shame of looking at the bill with the furniture line circled in a deep red marker was unbearable. Even the delivery address was dictated on the bill. My eyes tearing up, the drops of tears starting to roll down my face, I taste the warm salt on the edges of my lips. I finally have destroyed everything in my life. Crumbling the paper up in my regretful hands, tossing it on the stoop.
Grabbing my keys out of my pocket to unlocked the door, I feel the reassuring feedback from the lock as the key entered the keyhole. It wouldn’t turn, jiggling the keys anxiously trying to get the door open. I looked down, the dead bolt has been changed, being able to see the outline on the paint from the previous lock. Looking into the window to the side of the door, I was staring into a dark house, with no movement. I ran to the bay window in the front of the house, the blinds were down and closed tightly, only being able to see through the cracks of the wooden slats, there was still nothing. Running towards the back of the house was a sight that snapped me back to reality.
My clothes scattered across the patio, some of them made it into the pool, gracefully floating with the current of the water illuminated by the pool lights. Glass from family pictures scattered across the coquina hardscape. One frame in particular grabbed my attention, a silver dancing heart frame that housed our wedding picture. My face scratched out of the picture beyond recognition, but she looked beautiful. Wearing an ivory strapless fit and flare gown with a flattering draped bodice detail, finished off with a black crystal sash. The full tulle skirt hanging elegantly to the floor.
Grasping the picture firmly in my hand, rubbing her picture softly with my hand.
“I’m sorry.” A tear dropping off my face landing onto her face. “I will make it all better, I promise.”
Standing, trying to compose myself, I tried to open the slider that was usually unlocked -- it was locked of course. Putting my hand to the glass pressing my face into it trying to see inside. The living room was unlit like the rest of the house, I see Benjamin heading for the kitchen. I knocked softly not wanting to alert anyone else i
n the house. He recognizes the knock and see me outside, walking over to the door.
“Can you open the door?” Begging him.
“No, Mom doesn’t want you here. We don’t want you here.”
Getting down on my knees placing my hands together “Look, I am begging you, please just open the door. I need to talk to Mom. I’m begging you!”
“Sorry Dad,” walking away from the door.
“Ben open this fucking door,” slamming my hands into the glass fiercely, “open it right now or it’s coming down.”
Ignoring my threat he continues walking away Standing back up on my feet I head towards the outdoor table. Picking up one of the metal patio chairs off to my right slamming it into the glass. The glass splinters inside the film of the laminated safety glass. Lifting the chair above my head giving it another firm strike, feeling the glass weaken from each strike, I continue to hit it harder and harder. My breathe getting heavy, the sweat on my forehead mixing with my tears as I try to gain access to my own house.
In between my strikes I hear a knocking on the glass from inside. Megan was watching me trying to break into the house. Her eyes puffy and red, her cheeks glistening from the streams of tears coming down her face.
“What are you doing?” She asked calmly.
“I need to talk to you, can you open the door please?”
“No, I don’t have anything to say to you.”
“Megan please! I fucked up--big time. Can I just come in and talk to you?” Smacking the windows with my hands.
In a calm voice, “Kevin, if you don’t leave I am calling the cops,” walking away from the window vanishing in the darkness.
“Megan! Please come back,” crumbling to my knees sobbing, “please come back.”
Laying down on the moist floor, feeling the frigid tiles on my back. I can’t believe what I have done, everyone hates me. My phone ringing in my pocket, checking the caller I.D. ‘Rachael’ reading on the screen.
“Just leave me alone! Stop calling me,” screaming at the phone, “leave me alone,” smashing the phone repetitively into the floor. Pieces flying everywhere, I couldn’t stop smashing it into the floor, my hands bloody, leaving pools of blood on the coquina.
Heroin Love Page 12
