by Ilona Fridl
A few days later, Teri was lying down on the mattress to go to sleep when Chris came over and sat beside her. “Teri, I’ve been thinking about what you said. I think I’ll go home.”
“Good for you, Chris. I know you made a wise decision.” Teri smiled, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
“Before I go, there’s something I want to do to you…er…for you, uh, me. Oh, hell!” Taking her hand, he put it on his crotch and she felt his erection.
Teri laughed, then lifted the covers. “Come on in.”
The next morning, everyone gave Chris a big sendoff. “May the Great Spirit go with you, my brother!” Redman said as Chris boarded the bus. Waving to all, Chris blew a kiss to Teri as the bus left, and she returned the kiss as Redman stated, “We have to find you a new partner. It’s not good to be alone.”
“No hurry. I’ll just take care of the rest of you.”
Teri was taking particular care of Cassie, who was due any day. Cassie wasn’t as cold to white people as Trace was. The only one he trusted was Redman. Carol, with some training as a nurse, told Cassie to let her know when the baby was on the way. It decided to make an entrance a couple of days later.
In the middle of the night, Teri heard Cassie get up and, with a low moan, go to Carol. Then she heard Carol tell Dash to go to a pay phone and call an ambulance.
“Teri,” Carol called, “bring some clean towels over here, just in case the ambulance doesn’t get here in time.”
Teri bounced up, grabbing several towels and wetting one down. Everyone gathered around Cassie, while Teri put the cool towel on her forehead.
“Thank you, Teri,” Cassie said through clenched teeth, then she gave a cry of pain. “I think the baby is coming!” Carol moved her gently into position. Just then, the ambulance pulled up and Dash brought them inside. The emergency crew took charge of the rest of the birth, and soon Teri heard a lusty cry.
“It’s a boy!” Carol called, and everyone cheered.
Trace slowly came to Carol and stood uncomfortably in front of her as the crew bundled mother and baby out. “You know, for a cracker girl, you’re okay.” Trace gave her a short nod.
When he left, Carol leaned on Teri, putting her arms around her. Carol was shaking. “Teri, do you have a downer? I’ve run out, and I need one badly.”
Teri was sweating rivers. “Sure, I think we both need one.”
****
When the bellboy had been tipped, Tim settled on the big couch in their hotel in Calgary, Manitoba. He and John shared a suite with Roy and Luke next door. Exhausted from a grueling schedule, they savored some free time before the concert. Canada for them was mostly hotel rooms, the way they were hustled around.
“Since we have some free time, I’m going to call Carol,” John said, breaking in on Tim’s thoughts. “I feel bad I haven’t called her yet.”
“We’ve been busy these last couple of weeks. I don’t think we’ve had time to sleep or eat.”
Pulling out his phone book, John put in a call and, after a few moments, hung up with a funny look. “Tim, the girls’ phone has been disconnected.”
“Maybe they moved someplace else. Why don’t you check information?”
John called information for Los Angeles. “There’s no number under either Carol’s or Teri’s name.”
“Call Linda and see if she knows anything.” Tim suggested, an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.
John made the call to Linda, then turned to Tim. “Linda saw Teri and Carol a couple of days after the Ed Sullivan Show, and they were depressed. They had decided to go to San Francisco for a change of scenery, and she doesn’t know if they came back.”
“Who would know if they were back? And where are they?”
“I’m going to call Carol’s family, in case she moved home. I know they dislike me, though.” After the call, he regarded Tim with a look of concern. “Carol’s mother said that they haven’t heard from the girls since they left for San Francisco.”
Tim felt a stab of foreboding, but he shook it off. “Probably wanted to get away for a while.” But to him, that didn’t sound convincing. “Why don’t you try again in a week or so?”
John nodded and stepped out onto their balcony, shutting the door behind him.
Tim settled back on the couch. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to shut Teri out for a while. Where could she be, and what’s happening with her? Should I call her, or her family? He steeled himself. She’s a big girl now. She can take care of herself. But the rock didn’t go out of his stomach.
Chapter 9
A few weeks later, on a beautiful warm day, everyone decided to go to Golden Gate Park. Teri could have sworn there were people who never left the gardens; it always looked like the same crowd as before. She was absorbing the sun, lost in her thoughts, when Carol and Dash came over.
“You look like you need company,” Carol said.
“Don’t mind me, you two. I was enjoying the sun and the breeze.”
They sat next to her, and then Mindy and Joe showed up with a small paper bag. Mindy whispered, “Have you ever dropped acid?” The girls shook their heads, and Mindy opened the bag. “Here, take a ride on a sugar cube.” Everyone shrugged and each took one.
Not feeling any effects at first, Teri stared at the sky, seeing flowers blooming among the clouds. Oh, this is beautiful! Teri glanced down and saw colorful clouds moving along the ground―and then she saw Tim walking toward her. With a cry of joy, she reached out her hand to him and it passed right through his body. Oh, god, he’s dead! Horror filled her as Tim turned into her father, glaring with hatred, saying, “You’re a whore!” She screamed, and then all dissolved into weird shapes and colors. When she finally came to, everything was bathed in a strange half-light. We must have been here all night. She spotted Carol, who was shaking and her lips were blue.
Teri shook her. “Carol, wake up!” There was no response and she slapped Carol’s face. “Carol, please wake up!” Still nothing, and Teri screamed, “Somebody, please call an ambulance!”
Mindy jumped up, staggering away to find a pay phone, while Teri and Dash tried to revive Carol. When the ambulance arrived on the grounds, the crew loaded Carol inside, and one of the crew asked Teri, “Did she take anything?”
Over the man’s shoulder, she saw Dash making motions to say no. “I don’t know.” Teri stood. “Can I go with you?”
“Are you a relative?”
“Yes, I’m her sister.”
“Get in.”
Teri tossed her keys to Dash. “Here, take my car. I’ll meet you at the hospital.”
All the way, Teri prayed, “Please, god, don’t let Carol die.” At San Francisco General a few minutes later, one of the crew told Teri to wait inside the emergency room. Dash arrived five minutes later.
“Have you heard anything yet?” he asked.
“No. They just took her in.”
A half hour went by before a grim-faced doctor came out to them. “Are you the one who came with the girl in the ambulance?”
“Yes. How is she?” Teri gripped the arms of her chair.
“You’re not really her sister, are you? I have some questions. First, what is her last name?”
“Wehring.”
“How can I get in touch with her family?”
“Her parents are Jim and Grace Wehring. They live in Encino, near Los Angeles.”
“Thank you. We’ll call them.”
“Wait! You didn’t tell us how she is.” Teri squeezed Dash’s hand. He sat silent, as if he already knew.
“I can’t discuss particulars of her case with you since you’re not a family member, but I will tell you she didn’t make it.” He walked away as Teri and Dash hugged each other, crying.
Pulling back a minute later, Dash grabbed her shoulders. “Teri, we better get out of here fast. When the doctor discovers it was LSD that killed her, they’ll call the cops on us.”
They ran out of the hospital to Teri’s car, and Dash turned to
her as she drove out. “This makes my decision to leave a little easier.”
“Leave? Where are you going?”
“The government is cracking down on draft dodgers. I told Carol I was going to take the underground to Canada to avoid the Feds.”
“Can I drop you off someplace?”
“There’s a little building down the street from Fisherman’s Wharf. It’s one of the underground stations. Could you take me there?”
Teri nodded numbly. “Sure.”
As they pulled up in front of his destination, Dash gazed at her intently. “Teri, are you going to be all right? You look white as a ghost.”
Teri said tonelessly, “Yes, I’ll be fine. Just go.”
Dash kissed her cheek. “Goodbye, Teri.”
Teri nodded and waved as he disappeared into the building, and then she drove up the bluff to an overlook by the bay. Teri turned off the engine and got out. No one was there, and she had a bench facing the cliff all to herself. Drawing her legs up, she wrapped her arms around her knees and rocked gently back and forth, her face buried, sobbing.
Now what? You’ve wound around this maze of your own making until you hit a dead end. Your father hates you, you’ve probably lost Tim forever, and now Carol’s dead. What are you going to do? What can I do? Should I call my mother? I don’t want her to see me like this. Evie? I got so close with Carol that I neglected my best friend. I’m too ashamed to call her.
Teri rose and went to the edge of the wall, watching the waves crash on the rocks below. She heard a voice behind her. “Hey, gal, you look like you need something.”
Turning, she saw a strange-looking figure coming up. “I’m all right. Just leave me alone.”
He was very thin, emphasized by his worn jeans and a black turtleneck. Black bushy hair made him look like a dark mushroom. “I’m Willie, the local dealer, and I’ve seen you in the park. We know all the users. Who are you?”
Maybe this is the way to make me forget. “I’m T…Iris Rainbow. What have you got and how much is it?”
Willie smiled. “Now you’re talking my language.”
Things became confusing for Teri after that. She took her car to a used car lot and got cash for it, then drifted to the seedier side of San Francisco, with Willie helping her numb her pain. All she really knew was that she went through a lot of money buying drugs and she experienced a strange parade of places she woke up in, not knowing where she was.
She came to in an alley, lying with her face on the rough bricks. Her sandaled feet felt wet, and she eased up to see a drunk passed out a few feet away, with the stream of urine from him reaching her. Jumping up, she vomited into a dumpster, then leaned her head against the cold metal. The smell of rotten garbage and human waste was overpowering. I’ve got to get out of here.
Staggering out of the alley, she made her way to an old gasoline station and locked the door on the dank and moldy ladies’ restroom. Squinting at the stained mirror above the sink, she could hardly recognize the reflection. Her hair was dark and dirty, and she looked like a skeleton of her former self, with deep dark circles around her eyes. As she tried to clean up with the greasy soap she found on the sink, Teri thought back to a few months earlier, when she’d seen Cinderella looking back at her. See what you’ve done to me, Tim Olson?
She removed a slim wallet from her jeans pocket. Damn, I’m out of money. Maybe Willie will give me a break. Wiping the dirt off her brown pullover sweater, she started down the street toward Fisherman’s Wharf. In one of the side streets, she saw Willie leaning against an old brownstone building. “Willie, I need a favor. I’m out of money, but I need an upper to find a job.”
“Sorry, Iris, I’m not into charity work. That’s not my bag. I need bread.”
“You can’t spare just one? I’ll pay you back, I swear.”
A young man with shoulder-length brown hair came from the opposite direction. “Hey, Willie, what’s happening?” He gazed at Teri. “Who’s this?”
“I’m Iris Rainbow. Do you have any money I can borrow? I’ll pay you back as soon as I get a job.” Teri was surprised to hear that come out of her mouth, but she knew the shakes would start if she didn’t get something soon.
“Hello, Iris. I’m Skye, and I’m an artist. Have you ever worked as a model?”
“Yes,” Teri lied.
“Good. You can come with me. Willie, give her what she wants, and give me my usual. I’ll pay for it.”
Willie counted out five uppers for Teri and gave Skye a bag of coke. Skye waved Teri forward. “Come with me.”
Heading up the hill to the ancient Victorian row houses that had somehow survived the earthquake, he turned his gaze on her. “Hey, Iris, where you from?”
“No questions.” Teri popped one of the uppers into her mouth. I don’t want to talk about myself. I want to forget.
“Okay, I’m cool. Do you need a place to crash?”
Teri looked down. “I’ve been sleeping on the street.”
“If you want to join our group, you can. We don’t have much, but it beats the hell out of sleeping outside.”
“Thanks, I will.”
Arriving at a shabby row house, they went up the weathered front steps, where the paint was peeling off the old wood but the door glowed bright orange and red. Skye opened it and waved Teri in. “Welcome, Iris.”
An old parlor spread out on her right, with fluorescent posters in black light on the walls and a doorway cluttered with strings of beads. A television droned in the background, and everywhere was a smell of incense.
Skye drew up next to her. “Everyone, this is Iris.” Waving his hand to a small, bright-eyed black girl, he said, “This is Star.” He pointed to a long-haired, blond young man with thick glasses, seated at a desk, reading. “This is Egghead. On the couch is Raja.” He indicated a dark, heavyset man with a beard. “And in the corner, in the lotus, is Moon.” Teri saw a tall, thin girl with short, blunt-cut, blonde hair. Everyone acknowledged Teri, then went back to what they were doing.
Motioning for Teri to follow him, he said, “Might as well get started on my painting, since it’s still early in the day. My studio’s back here.” Walking behind him, she came to a small enclosed porch off the kitchen. “Can I get you something to eat first?”
Teri seemed almost normal after the upper. “What do you have?”
“There’s a couple of pieces of cold pizza in the fridge,” he said on inspection.
Sitting at a small table covered by a stained red gingham tablecloth, she munched gratefully on the pizza.
“Would you like to take a shower before we get started?”
“That sounds good.”
“Don’t bother getting dressed again. I paint nudes.”
Teri enjoyed the warm shower in the old-fashioned footed bathtub with the curtain all around it. I swear I feel almost human. Returning with the towel around her, she reached the enclosed porch. “How do you want me to pose?” she asked him as he got his paints ready.
“Over there.” He pointed to an old Victorian parlor couch with worn purple velvet material and a few black throw pillows, all in front of a draped yellow sheet. She dropped the towel and he gave a whistle. “Great body!” Arranging her into a reclining position on the couch, he warned, “Don’t move.”
Teri slipped into a reverie as she relaxed her body into the position. Well, Teri, what now? Are you going to spend your life drifting from one place to another? You were going to be a teacher before you got sidetracked. You gave up everything for Tim. Was it worth it? I don’t know. He said he loved me, but did he really mean it? What about my family? I was very close to them until I took up with Tim. Can I ever go home again? What about Evie? I used to tell her everything, but she wouldn’t understand me now. Is that me or the drugs talking?
On her break, she took a small portion of valium. I don’t want to think anymore. Blessed calmness flowed through her the rest of the afternoon.
As the daylight started to wane, Teri found aches i
n her body from holding still. “How are you doing?” she ventured.
“Getting tired? We can do this tomorrow.” He rose from the chair.
Pulling the towel around her, she went with Skye into the kitchen. At the table, with Tarot cards spread out before her, was a heavyset girl in a colorful red print muumuu. She brushed her long black hair out of her eyes as they came in. “Hello, Skye, who’s that?”
“This is my new model, Iris. Iris, this is Gypsy, our fortuneteller.”
“Greetings, Iris. Would you like your fortune told?”
Teri picked the Death card off the table. “This seems to be all that’s ahead of me.”
Skye and Gypsy glanced at each other, and Skye shrugged.
In the evening, there was no dinner, just snacks of junk food, booze, and drugs. The group was unlike Redman’s, where the ideal of brotherhood was embraced. Skye’s friends were an odd assortment of eccentrics who got money from the artwork Skye sold and the fortunes Gypsy told in a small tent near Fisherman’s Wharf. Egghead gave them a lecture every evening on the workings of the universe. Moon shed her clothes and did Yoga exercises in the nude. Star gave blow jobs to Raja, who was addicted to television, and to Egghead as he read. Gypsy always worked the Tarot cards in the late evening.
Teri was preparing to go to sleep when she found out Skye’s peculiarity. She reclined on an air mattress in the back room with Star and Moon on others nearby. Teri discovered that the girls were lesbian lovers, and they tried to include Teri in their lovemaking, but she wasn’t ready for that. Skye came into the room naked and lay beside her. “I have to take your sexual energy reading every night so I can paint your soul.”
Almost catatonic, she spread for him. He used her, then left, with no more emotion than a casual hello. But at this point, Teri didn’t care what happened to her.
This strange existence went on for days, weeks, months, Teri didn’t even know or care how much time had passed. She posed for Skye during the day, then sat without speaking or seeing for the rest of the evening, even when Skye used her. She couldn’t call it making love, because there was nothing there. All she cared about was numbing the pain.
