by Ilona Fridl
“No, Mommy!” cried a small voice behind her. Melissa ran across the room and attached herself firmly to Tim’s legs. He picked her up and she buried her face in his neck. That moved him to tears.
When he caught his voice, he pushed Melissa back and looked her in the eye. “You know that was wrong to listen at the door. Now go to your room and let me talk to Mommy, okay?”
She slowly nodded and went down the hall.
He turned back to Sara, who was wringing her hands. “You’re not even going to talk about trying to come back to me?”
“Tim,” she said, her eyes lowered, “I’m carrying Karl’s baby.” She sobbed, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you like this.”
He gazed at her steadily. “Sara, I want custody of Melissa. I don’t want to lose another child to divorce.”
“But can you take care of her?”
“I can and have, all these times you were gone making movies. Sara, listen. My job keeps me here most of the year. You can have Melissa as much as you want when you’re in town.” He added bitterly, “And besides, you’ll have another child to keep you busy.”
Sara came over and put her hand on his shoulder. “I’m not going to ask for alimony, and as much as it hurts, you’re right about custody. I’ll go pack.”
Tim turned to the bar and poured himself a drink. Staring at the glass and the bottle, he took them to the kitchen and poured them both down the sink. I have to be responsible for Melissa now. It’s time to get help for my drinking problem so I can take care of my daughter.
Chapter 15
Teri was delighted when her parents decided to move to a senior community near her when her father retired from air flight instruction in 1984. Now she could see them more often than just four or five times a year. They were planning to sell the house in Alhambra and go on an around-the-world trip.
With the Kelseys’ help in moving, they arrived at the senior community the following spring. David and his father-in-law spent much of David’s rare time off playing golf at the country club. Teri and her mother had a standing date once a week for lunch. Her parents were happy to spend more time with their grandchildren, too. They had seen quite a bit of Laura’s two children in California but had missed much of Teri’s children through the years. Now they had time to make up for that.
About a year after her parents moved to Arizona, David came in one Saturday after playing golf with Teri’s dad. “Teri, I’m a little concerned about your father. When we were out on the course, he seemed to be in some pain, and he looked pale.”
“Did he say anything to you about it?”
“I asked him, and he said he was just getting old.”
Teri’s stomach clenched. “I wonder if Mom knows about that.”
She called her mother and told her what David had said.
“Teri, I’ve noticed that too. I made an appointment with the doctor so your father can get a check-up.”
A few days later, her mother called back in tears.
“Mom, what’s wrong?”
“Sweetheart, we got back the tests from the doctor. Your father has pancreatic cancer and it’s spread. I don’t know what to do.”
Teri’s heart was in her throat and she didn’t know what to say. “Oh, Mom! How is he feeling?”
Her mother made an effort to steady herself. “He’s in the hospital now, but he will be allowed to come home after the doctor tries some treatments. Keep both him and me in your prayers.”
Teri and Laura took turns helping their parents through several painful months. Finally, her father had enough of the treatments and requested the doctor to let him go home. He was given a couple of weeks to live. The family took turns sitting with him.
It was Teri’s turn one day, and her father said to her, “Teri, I have to tell you, before I go, how proud I am of you.”
“Dad, don’t—”
“Please. I need to tell you this. Come over here.” She came over and sat on the bed, and he took her hand. “I was so worried about you when you ran off after high school, but since then you have become a fine wife and mother. I’m in awe of how you turned yourself around. Tell me, Teri, what kind of hold did Tim have over you?” The question surprised her, and at first she didn’t know what to say. Her father had always been angry when he spoke of Tim, but now he sounded curious.
“Dad, I can’t explain it, but every time I saw him, I had to be with him. It was a love, but different from what I have with David. I love him very much, yet it isn’t that strong pull I had with Tim.”
He squeezed her hand. “Your mother told me she spoke to you about my friend Mike, the man she was engaged to before the war. I know she doesn’t love me as much as she did him, so I understand David’s position. He has told me he knows, too. Honey, you can’t change how you feel, and I’m glad you stayed with David. He’s a good man and he loves you very much.”
Daddy does understand, or is trying to. Oh, why does he have to die? It isn’t fair. Teri put her other hand on top of his and tried to smile through her tears. “I love you so much, Daddy.”
Two days later, her father died.
****
As the years went by, Katie’s interest in Kevin Barnes turned into a long-distance love affair and both families had to put up with big phone bills. In 1992, Teri found herself planning a big wedding for fall, and the families were happy with the arrangement. Evie and Teri would be related now.
The wedding was wonderful. Katie and Kevin were married in the Kelseys’ church in Tucson, and family and friends from both sides were able to attend. David beamed when he walked Katie down the aisle. Teri noticed he had aged in the past year since he took over as area manager of the corporation. He made more money, but the stress level was rising, and David’s sandy hair was turning white. This wedding is just the thing to take his mind off work for a while.
At the reception, held at David’s country club, Teri felt a pang of déjà vu. How far they all had come over the years. Evie seemed aged hardly at all, while Ken was getting iron-gray hair and wore glasses. Teri had to admit she herself was looking older, with her hair starting to go gray, but for her age she didn’t look bad.
She glanced across the table at her mother, who was now in her seventies and had moved into the senior community apartments after Teri’s father died. It hurts that he couldn’t be around to see this. I still miss him so much.
“Teri, where are you?” Evie nudged her.
“Sorry, Evie, I was lost in thought. It’s hard to believe all we’ve been through.”
“And now we really are family. Who would have thought?” They giggled as of old.
The deejay they’d hired to play music at the reception was getting ready to start. “For our first number, I want the bride and groom on the dance floor first, then the parents. The number is a request from the bride. She wants to dedicate it to her mother, who, she informed me, was friends with this particular group, Virgin Ram. So here is their song “Beloved.”
Then Teri heard Tim’s voice. “I didn’t realize when I saw you that day, Beloved…” She smiled sadly. “That was the song he wrote for me.”
Evie studied her. “Are you all right?”
“I’m okay. Let’s go dance.”
David expressed his concern when he took Teri onto the dance floor. “I don’t think Katie realized what that song was to you.”
Teri drew him close. “Let’s just enjoy this dance.”
The rest of the reception went beautifully. Late that night, David drove back home with thirteen-year-old Marcy asleep in the back. As he pulled into the driveway, he shut off the engine and turned to Teri.
“Did you ever regret never having a wedding like that?”
“Maybe a little, at the time, but I haven’t thought about it since. Why, do you regret it?”
“Sometimes, but I love being married to you. Even though I know I don’t have your whole heart.”
“David, I—”
“Stop, Teri.
I know what you’re going to say. I know you love me too. That’s what keeps me going.” David kissed her. “I just wanted to let you know, I understand.” They got out of the car, and David woke up Marcy and half-carried her into the house. Teri noticed he was pale and breathing hard, so she sent Marcy to her room.
“David, are you sick?”
He glanced at her and shook his head. “Just exhausted from today. I’ll be fine after a good night’s sleep. Come on, let’s go to bed.”
“If you’re not, I’m calling the doctor tomorrow.” I don’t want to lose you. The next day he seemed all right, so she let it go, but she expressed her concern to Bobbie.
“I’m worried about David working so hard. He went very pale and was out of breath when we got home from the wedding.”
“Teri, I’d keep an eye on him. I’ve realized, since we’ve known you, he’s a workaholic.”
“I’ve asked him to slow down, but he can’t seem to. He’s very dedicated to his job.” She tried to not worry but wasn’t very successful.
****
Four years had passed since Katie’s wedding, and she made David and Teri grandparents when she had a son the third year of her marriage. Teri was delighted with her new role as a grandma and swore she was going to spoil little Michael Barnes. Evie was equally happy with their new bond. In the meantime, DJ moved in with his girlfriend, Stacy. He was on the race car circuit, which Teri thought was a dangerous occupation. He was doing what he loved, so she lived with her doubts. Marcy was in her senior year in high school and planning to study law at a university in Phoenix.
David was still a worry to her. He handled more and more stress at work and was away from home for days at a time in high-powered meetings with other corporate heads. The last time he came home from one of those meetings, he was very pale and drawn. Teri begged him to slow down, but he didn’t.
One day, in the fall of 1996, Teri came home from closing a deal on a house. As she went in her front door, her cell phone went off. It was David’s secretary, Barb. “Teri, get down to the hospital as soon as you can. David’s had a heart attack.”
“Oh, Barb, thank you for calling.” Oh, my god, no. Oh, please don’t take David yet, I need him.
She left a note for Marcy, then flew out of the house and into her car. The drive to the hospital seemed to take a very long time. She ran through the emergency entrance and asked about David Kelsey.
The nurse took her to a waiting room, and a few minutes later a doctor appeared. “Mrs. Kelsey?”
Teri nodded.
“I’m Dr. Peterson. Your husband has had a massive heart attack. We have him stabilized, so we are going to take him in for a bypass. I’ll let you see him.”
Teri felt lightheaded. “Thank you, Doctor.”
She was led to a small room near the doors to the OR. David was barely awake when she took his hand and kissed it. “I’m here, Tiger.” She forced a smile through her tears.
David regarded her and, in a very weak voice, he said, “I love you, Sweet Stuff.”
The orderly came to move him to the operating room, and Teri gave David’s hand a squeeze. “I’ll be waiting for you.”
The nurse showed her to the waiting room. Teri took her cell phone out and called Katie and DJ, and then Marcy came in. In a couple of hours, the whole family sat, praying and waiting.
Dr. Peterson came in with a grim look on his face. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Kelsey, but the damage was too great. We couldn’t save him.”
Teri and her family sat for a moment, stunned, then they dissolved into tears. Teri put her hand on the doctor’s shoulder. “I’m sure you did all you could. Thank you.”
The next day, Teri was curled in her mother’s arms, sobbing. “How did you find strength when Daddy died?”
Her mother took her by the shoulders and looked her in the eye. “This is the hardest thing you are ever going to do, but I know you can do it. This is a part of life, to have to face the death of someone you love.” She wiped her own eyes with a tissue. “When Mike died, I thought my life was over, but your father came to fill it. You will be happy again, but David will always be with you, right here.” She put her hand over Teri’s heart.
After the funeral, Teri realized she had to go on alone. She was making enough money in real estate to support herself, plus there were pension checks from David’s company. She figured she would be all right. Bobbie told her to come to her and Don if she needed anything.
Teri was grateful for their friendship.
****
In January of 1997, Tim was working on a deal in his executive suite at the recording company. He was now the vice president in charge of production. The president, Mr. Louden, called Tim to his office.
Tim greeted Darlene, Louden’s secretary. “What’s up, Darlene?”
“I think you’ll enjoy this idea,” she said, as she waved him into the office.
Inside, he recognized the three other men with Mr. Louden. Tim gave a shout and they all embraced, while Louden looked amused. There was John Simon, whom he still saw often, but Luke Knoll and Roy Gardner he hadn’t seen in many years. They settled in the chairs facing the president.
Louden began, “I have an idea to put before you. There has been an upsurge of interest in music from the Sixties. We re-released your old albums on CDs, along with those of several other artists, and the sales were surprising. I wondered if the four of you would consider doing a three-month reunion tour of the United States?”
John shook his head. “But we haven’t played together in years.”
“We would give you five months to shake the rust out. You can use the facilities here to practice. What do you say? The tour will be next summer. That would be thirty years since your first one.”
Luke snorted. “God, I feel old after hearing that.”
Tim slapped him on the back. “You are!” Luke made a face while the others laughed.
They looked at each other, then at Louden. “All right!”
Within the next month, they got their music out and listened to it countless times. Tim hadn’t played a bass in years, so he almost had to re-learn it. He still got a catch in his throat when he heard the song “Beloved.”
One evening before the tour, John was at Tim’s house. Tim handed him a soda and sat across from him at the kitchen table.
“This is dredging up a lot of memories for me. My life hasn’t been ideal for the past thirty years. Melissa is sixteen now, and she’s worried about going to college in a couple of years and leaving me alone in this big house. My own daughter feels sorry for me.” Tim put his head in his hands.
John cleared his throat. “There might be someone else out there for you. You might even meet her on this tour. You’ve been cooped up in that office too long. You can’t meet anyone there.”
“I wonder if she thinks about me after all these years.”
“Who?”
“Teri. I should have married her before we left on that damn tour. I probably wouldn’t have had all these heartaches since.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know she’s out there, John. I can almost feel her. Maybe I’ll find her this time.”
John looked sadly at him.
“Some people get second chances, don’t they?”
John nodded. “Some people do.”
Chapter 16
A year after David’s death, Teri was steeling herself, knowing that for the first time she would be living all alone in the house.
The day before, she, DJ, and Stacey had helped Marcy move most of her things into her dorm room after she registered. Marcy had come back with Teri to pack her clothes and personal items. She was officially moving into her room this evening, and had started getting her things together after lunch. It was now three o’clock.
“Marcy, do you need any help with your packing?” Teri called from the dining room.
“No, thanks, Mom. I have it under control. I’m almost finished.”
Marcy, her
baby, was leaving for college in Phoenix. Teri looked out the window at the mountains and desert of Tucson and wished David could be here to see Marcy off. She still missed him.
Teri picked up the morning paper and sat at the table. She’d turned several pages when an article caught her eye. “The Sixties rock group Virgin Ram is here in Tucson for a concert on their reunion tour,” it said. “The group consists of members Luke Knoll, Roy Gardner, John Simon, and Tim Olson…” Teri couldn’t read any further, because her eyes were full of tears.
Marcy came in the room with her suitcases and set them down. “Mom, what’s wrong?”
Teri had her hand over her mouth, tear running down her face. She turned the paper in Marcy’s direction and pointed to the article.
“Isn’t that the group you said you knew in the Sixties?”
Teri nodded. “I never told you everything. Not even your father knew everything that happened then.” She glanced at her daughter. “It has a lot to do with the drug problems I had. Remember the talks I had with all of you about staying away from drugs? I knew about it firsthand.”
“Mom, if you want to talk about it, I’ll listen.” Marcy sat across the table from Teri and watched intently.
Teri got up and poured them each a cup of coffee. Then she sat back down at the table and told Marcy her story, from going to the press party at the record company to going through drug withdrawal in the hospital. She made it sound as horrible as possible. Maybe I can prevent Marcy from getting caught up in the party atmosphere at college. I don’t want her going through what I went through.
Marcy was speechless. “Oh, god, Mother, I never would’ve thought you’d done everything you warned us against.”
“I nearly killed myself, and I never wanted you to go through the same thing. I prayed that all of you would avoid it, and I think you did.”
“After that story, I won’t ever touch drugs.” Marcy glanced at the article again, then jumped up from her chair. “Mom, help me get the suitcases out to the car.”
