Ryan squeezed his son hard. This was the first time in ages that his son had called him Dad. Brian usually did his very best to avoid calling him anything at all.
Patricia looked at the father and son embrace and dried her tears. “Things are going to be better with the three of us from now on.” She had been too busy working to notice how truly wonderful her son was, and that was going to change. “Brian, you will never doubt our love for you ever again.”
Chapter Thirty-five
After an interminable amount of time, Karlie and Jamaal broke their kiss. Since their first kiss, kissing had become their favorite pastime.
Everywhere and anytime they could, Karlie and Jamaal spent time engaging in some serious tongue action. They were at Tanya’s house, and not even the thought of Tanya’s parents busting in on them cooled their raging hormones.
For her part, Karlie knew it had a lot to do with the turmoil going on in her life. She needed something that felt stable in her life, and this was it.
As for Jamaal, Karlie suspected that it was just his libido. She did not mind as long as he kept his hands pressed against her back. The last time he had tentatively copped a feel of her behind, but Karlie was not having that.
Pastor Johnston’s sermons about God’s love stayed with her. Her mother constantly played CDs with gospel songs and scriptures.
Kissing would be her only guilty pleasure.
Karlie was grateful for Jamaal at this point and time in her life. He was a solid presence that she had come to rely on to keep her sanity. Karlie felt comfortable telling him everything that was going on. She’d cried on his shoulder when she learned that neither Darnell nor Pierce was her father. She had not wanted her mother to see how much the news devastated her. Karlie supposed it had a lot to do with trying to discover where she came from. She needed to know that.
She needed to feel like she belonged to someone.
She needed a father to claim her.
You have me.
Ignorantly, Karlie interpreted that to mean Jamaal. She would have fainted had she known it was the Father reaching out to her.
Karlie’s thoughts flowed back to Jamaal. She had not known when they first met that he would come to mean so much to her. He was her best friend and her rock. Jamaal appeared so tough in school that Karlie felt special to see this gentle and caring side of him.
He became impatient and moved closer to kiss her again.
Karlie backed away and put her hands against his chest. “Jamaal, we have to stop.”
“Why?”
“Because I do not want things going any further.”
“But I won’t let it. You know that by now. I’m not going to make you do something you don’t want to do,” Jamaal pleaded.
“I know, but I am more worried about me,” Karlie explained. “I am worried I might throw caution to the wind and do something stupid.”
Jamaal moved even closer at that intriguing confession. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Karlie admitted to him. Her face was beet-red.
“Well, I would not allow you to,” Jamaal told her.
Karlie smirked with disbelief. She did not think there was a hot-blooded teenage boy out there who would say no to something like that.
“It’s true, Karlie. I know what you are going through, and I would not take advantage of your vulnerability by having sex with you. When we have sex, it’s going to be because we both want to, not because of any drama going on in our lives. Look what happened with both our mothers. Also, I know you’ve been reading your Bible.”
“Did you say ‘when we have sex’?” Karlie was still stuck on that bold remark.
“Yes, when. As a matter of fact, it won’t be sex, because we are going to make love,” Jamaal promised. He had done it before with other girls, but they did not mean anything to him. Karlie did. To prepare, he’d borrowed romance novels out of the library to get some creative and romantic suggestions that would make their first union both memorable and enjoyable. Jamaal particularly wanted to give Karlie a night she would never forget.
“When . . . ,” Karlie repeated, a little apprehensive at that thought.
“When,” Jamaal confirmed. They had a good number of years ahead of them, but Jamaal was going to marry Karlie. He was confident their love would be that strong. It was the real thing, and he did not need to go looking anywhere else.
Tiffany was sick of the snow and the way it was making her feel. It was almost the end of March. Where was spring?
She stood by the window and watched the snow fall in huge clumps. The only thing nice was its beauty when it first fell. After that came the massive cleanup and the car accidents. At this moment, Tiffany missed the sun and warmth of Los Angeles.
Soon her thoughts returned to Darnell. She was in a serious conflicting position. On one hand, she wanted to be around him and just soak up all he had to offer. But, on the other, she wanted to let him go, because she was only going to cause him heartache later on.
She knew Darnell was the best person to talk to about this, but she always stopped herself from disclosing that she was in love with him. That would only serve to complicate things even more between them. Worse yet, Darnell might agree and end things between them. Tiffany could not bear that possibility. Then what would she do?
Cancer was raging an even more powerful war against her body, and it was winning. Tiffany felt twice her age. She had to expend a lot of effort to even complete the exercise workouts. She might as well just stop with the whole thing.
She ate, but the food tasted paltry. It had lost its savor. Tiffany swallowed her food because she knew she needed the nutrients.
Nothing seemed right with her. She was just a shell of her former self.
You are more than a conqueror.
“I don’t feel like one now, Lord.”
Tiffany had been compelled to cancel several shows Winona had lined up for her. She had even had to renege on her television appearance with Lifetime and MTV for some type of “Where are they now?” program. She just was not well enough to do all that. In addition, trying to hide just how sick she was from Karlie was taking a strain on her system.
Unexpectedly, Tiffany sneezed and saw blood. She ran to get a napkin to stem the crimson flow. It was gushing from her nose and into her hands. Blood stained the cream sweater that she was wearing.
Upset, Tiffany raced up the stairs and into the bathroom to wash her hands. She swore that she was going to move in here soon given how much time she spent in here. She pulled her sweater over her head and ran to her bathroom sink to soak it in some Woolite. Then she climbed in bed.
Karlie called to say she would be home soon. Tiffany groaned a reply. She tossed and turned in her bed until daybreak.
Then, finally, she went to sleep.
Karlie called to her mom when she got in, and went to her mother’s bedroom to check on her. Her mother was asleep. “Aw,” she cooed in a low tone. Karlie touched her mother’s forehead before giving her a tender kiss on the cheek. Tiptoeing out of the room, Karlie went to bed, unconcerned.
Darnell came over at precisely eight o’clock the next morning. “Hey, Karlie. Is your mom ready?”
Karlie looked at him in confusion. Her mother hadn’t awakened yet, so she had no idea about her plans. “I don’t know,” Karlie replied. “I’d better go check on her.”
Halfway up the stairs, the doorbell rang. Karlie was about to execute a U-turn to see who was at the door, but Darnell waved her up the stairs. Hearing Myra’s “Hey. How is my patient?” Karlie bounded up the stairs and entered her mother’s room.
She tapped her mother’s shoulder and even tried to get her to sit up, but to no avail. Fear crept up her spine, and Karlie panicked and hollered, “Darnell, come quick! It’s Mom. She’s not waking up. I can’t get her to wake up!”
“Jesus, have mercy,” Myra called out as she raced up the stairs behind Darnell. Saying a quick prayer, Myra punched in the numbers for Neil’s job to tell him what
was going on.
Everybody gathered in the lounge at Winthrop University Hospital. They were all in various degrees of shock and disbelief about Tiffany’s sudden decline.
Darnell had called the ambulance at about eight thirty, when neither he nor Myra were able to help her regain consciousness. Tiffany was in a deep sleep.
It was now three o’clock in the afternoon, and still she slept.
Karlie was completely devastated. She had not been allowed in the room, because Tiffany was in critical condition. “I want to see my mom,” she cried into Myra’s shoulder.
Darnell drank his fourth cup of coffee and wondered, What happened? He had just spoken to her the night before. They were supposed to have breakfast together. How had they ended up here at the hospital? Darnell did not relish that he had to make the necessary phone calls and spread the news. This was like what he went through with his wife all over again.
His mother was right. As he sat in the hospital lounge, Darnell knew that he did not have the constitution to go through this. He could not watch Tiffany get sicker and eventually die.
Somehow or another, he had suppressed the idea that Tiffany’s death was imminent. Today was a harsh jump back into reality. Withholding a sob, Darnell got up to go to the restroom. He relieved himself and briskly washed his hands. Darnell looked at the face staring back at him in the mirror and saw how Tiffany’s illness had taken a toll on him. His hands shook, and his insides hurt.
He had to pick up April and Amber soon. Darnell battled with guilt because he knew that he was secretly glad for a legitimate excuse to leave. He actually welcomed it because he did not want to be here. He could not stand the torture and the agony.
Darnell dried his hands and went back to the lounge to make his excuses to everyone. He determinedly ignored his conscience. He knew that if Tiffany awakened, she’d expect to see him. But he had to get out of there, or he was going to suffocate on his memories. He was not sure if he would be back.
Neil drove like there were devils chasing him. He screeched into the parking lot of Winthrop University Hospital and barged into the waiting room with a huge bang. His eyes scanned everybody in the room. Myra, Ryan, Patricia, Tanya and her parents, Brian, and Jamaal were all there. He saw Pastor Johnston and his wife as well and felt comforted that the man of God was there to lend his support.
Finally, his eyes locked with Karlie’s.
Myra loosened her grip, and Karlie rushed over and fell into his arms. She started crying earnestly. Neil held her and tried to quell the tears forming in his eyes. “She is going to wake up, Karlie. Tiffany would not leave like this. She would not leave without saying good-bye.”
“I don’t know,” Karlie cried. “I want my mother.” Her tears made everyone else cry. “What am I going to do if she leaves me, Neil? I have nobody. I do not even know where I am going to live,” Karlie cried with deep anguish.
“There, there.” Neil patted her on the head. He did not have any direct answers to give her. “Everything always has a way of working out. Do not worry about that right now. You have to believe your mother is going to wake up.”
Myra listened intently as Neil talked to Karlie. He knew the right words to say to calm the girl. She had to hand it to him; Neil had a gift for talking to people. Watching the two of them together, an idea began to form in her head.
Chapter Thirty-six
Tiffany jumped awake. She raised her arms, only to find them connected to all sorts of machines and devices. By the beeping sound, Tiffany knew they were monitoring her heart rate and blood pressure.
She looked at the clock. It was eighteen minutes after five. She was up too early. How would she kill time before Darnell came for their breakfast date? She could work on the song she’d begun composing.
Then everything clicked. This wasn’t her home. She was in a hospital ward.
Panicked, she jumped off the bed. She had to get out of there before Karlie came home.
With all the contraptions and wires, it was inevitable that Tiffany would fall. And she did with a loud thump.
Neil woke with a start. He had drifted off but now moved like lightning to assist Tiffany back into bed. “Hey, look who finally decided to wake up. You had me—I mean all of us—worried.” Neil fetched her a glass of water to drink.
Tiffany took a huge gulp before asking, “What happened?”
“You have been asleep since last night. You did not wake up all day. I had to fight to get the doctors to let me in here. I finally convinced Karlie to get some sleep in one of the empty rooms. I’ll go get her in a minute.”
“What time is it?” Tiffany almost fainted when he told her it was 5:20 in the evening. “I have been asleep that long? Neil, it’s scary, but it feels like I have been sleeping for just a couple hours.”
“It was much longer than that,” Neil responded.
“I’ve just been so tired and sick the past few days. I didn’t think that—“
“That you could end up here? Tiffany, you have end-stage cancer. You know what that means. You cannot afford to ignore your body when it is time to rest. Tiffany, you have to accept that your body is going to . . .” Neil stopped, unable to go on. “Let me go get Karlie. I’ll be right back.”
At the door, Neil turned. “Tiffany, you have to get rest. I don’t know what I would do without you.” He left before she could respond.
Tiffany gulped down her tears. “I can’t let Karlie see me like this.” She smoothed her hair and straightened her gown. Tiffany shifted her body weight and moaned when she realized that a Foley bag had been inserted. She hated that thing with a passion because it took away the sensation of letting her know when she had to pee. It also hurt like heck when they removed it. Tiffany could be glad only for the fact that she was unconscious for the catheter insertion.
A doctor entered the room and identified himself as Dr. Layton. “Hi, Mrs. Knightly. I have conferred with Dr. Ettelman and will be overseeing your care.”
Tiffany nodded her head.
“Your tumor continues to grow, and I do concur that surgery is not advisable, because it is in a precarious position. I see where you had previously attempted to shrink it using radiation therapy, but that proved unsuccessful. I will do the best I can to assist with your medicinal needs and to make your stay here as comfortable as possible.”
Tiffany nodded her head at his tough news. “Thank you, Dr. Layton.”
“We will keep you overnight, and you can choose to enter a specialized facility or to go home.”
“I’m going home,” Tiffany declared firmly.
Dr. Layton left after that.
The door cracked open.
Karlie sped over to her mother and grabbed her tight. Tiffany could see how red and puffy Karlie’s eyes looked.
“I am so sorry I am putting you through all this,” Tiffany whispered in her hair.
Karlie straightened and looked her mother in the eye. “Mom, you can’t help that. I am just glad that you are still here. I was so . . .” She paused before finishing her sentence. “Scared.”
Over Karlie’s head, Tiffany mouthed, “Where’s Darnell?”
Neil shrugged.
Tiffany spoke to Karlie for a little bit before she convinced her to leave the room to tell the others that she was okay. She wanted some more alone time with Neil.
As soon as Karlie left, Neil came over to sit on the bed. He leaned over and gave Tiffany a tender kiss on the lips.
“Welcome back,” he greeted her again.
“It’s good to be back,” Tiffany replied before urgently saying, “Neil, I have got to find Karlie’s father.”
“I know.” he agreed. “I will take care of it.”
“It’s too much to ask.”
“No, it isn’t,” Neil assured her. “There’s nothing I would not do for you. Just rest and let me be a friend.”
“Okay.” Tiffany felt her eyelids get heavy with sleep. Before sleep claimed her again, Tiffany grabbed Neil’s hand with a
strength that belied her illness. She moved in toward him and placed her lips against his to give him a small kiss laced with pure love, nothing sexual in nature.
Once she fell asleep, Neil took out his cell phone. It was time to make a certain call. It was time to call Merle, Tiffany’s monster of a mother.
Tapping his feet impatiently, he heard the call go straight to voice mail. Neil left a brief detailed message. “Hi, Ms. Merle. This is Neil Jameson. Not that you give two cents, but I’m calling to let you know that Tiffany was admitted to Winthrop Hospital today. She’s here if you care to see her—although judging by your past record . . . Well . . .” Neil hung up the phone without saying good-bye. He knew it was futile, but he hoped Merle returned the call or showed up. The witch would probably delete the message without a second thought.
Merle played her answering machine for the fifth time. “Who does Neil think he is? I don’t want to hear anything from his scrawny behind. I have known him from when he was knee high, and now he leaves me this disrespectful message as if I am nothing.”
Merle played with a huge bracelet on her left hand. “Tiffany has enough people always fawning around her. I am not going anywhere.” She refused to change her stance after all these years because her daughter was dying.
Merle squeezed both her legs tightly with her hands. Her arthritis was acting up because of all this bad weather, but thankfully, it would finally feel like spring in a few days. She opened her door to check the mailbox, for her check usually came in around this time.
Merle did not feel an ounce of guilt for accepting the money. “She owes me after what she did.”
You know Clifford raped her.
“Please.” Merle refused to hearken to her conscience. There was no way she was wrong about Clifford. She had a sixth sense about those things, and Clifford had been many things, but he wasn’t no pedophile and he wouldn’t have done something so heinous—so vicious.
Sing A New Song Page 22
