by Leah Thomas
“She’s not, Dad.” I sigh.
“Kalyn,” he says, “at a certain point you live with something for so long it becomes your world. And then it’s what you know, and where you feel comfortable, and you can’t imagine trying to escape it. I can’t imagine trying to make it in the world. With you, your mom. I can’t imagine coming home to a place where Claire’s dead. I can’t imagine getting a job. I only ever worked at a gas station. I can’t imagine growing up. I’ve been in here since I was a kid, honey. It’s my only reality.”
It hurts to hear it, in the same way pulling a splinter hurts. You know it’ll be better once it’s out. I know we’ll be better once Dad’s out, or at least we can try to be.
“You know the best movies take place in different realities. Gattaca.”
“Dark City.” A dry chuckle. “But those are some pretty dark examples.”
“Mad Max.” I smirk. “Dad, I thought I was betraying you by pretending to be something other than me. These past few months, I wondered what you’d think of me. But it doesn’t matter, not so much.”
He just waits. That’s something I like about him, something I want to learn to do one day. You know, when I grow up.
“I was betraying me, and that’s worse. I’m going to work on it. And for the love of god, I want you to work on it, too, okay. I want you to work on it and learn to quit lying to yourself all the damn time, so that we can all stop lying to each other.”
“All right, Kalyn.”
“That’s not a good enough start,” I tell him, eyes burning. “Try again, dammit.”
“I didn’t kill him, sweetie,” he tells me, and it’s the first time the story we heard in that kitchen feels real to me. “I hated him and he hated me, but the minute someone else pushed me into the fire, James pulled me out again.” His voice cracks. “He pulled me out and called an ambulance and decked the guy in the face for good measure, and I couldn’t hate him after that. I could never, ever kill him. I loved him, honey.”
“Once more, with feeling.” I pass the phone to the boy who’s sitting beside me.
Gus lets go of my hand—not for forever—and takes the phone.
I can tell the very instant Dad repeats himself, because Gus pulls off his glasses to wipe his eyes. He looks nothing like his dad and everything like Gus, especially when he shares his crooked smile with me.
He’s Gus, and I’m Kalyn, and it’s enough for now and always.
And you know what? When Gus hangs up the phone, I’m going to tell him so.
I’m going to tell him something true.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Wild and Crooked is my first novel in the contemporary genre, my first book without fantastical science or aliens or monsters beyond the human kind. Still, it demanded more of my imagination than my previous books, and would not be the story that it is without the insight of other, wiser people.
As ever, many thanks to my infallible editor, Mary Kate Castellani, who always sees my characters first and genre second. Thanks also to all the proofreaders and copyeditors and the entire team at Bloomsbury, who tolerate my foibles and misquotes and provide wonderful guidance.
This book deals with some sensitive issues, and for that reason it would have been impossible to write it in good conscience without referring to expert readers. Any remaining errors are on me! Endless gratitude to Chloe Smith, an amazing talent in her own right, who helped make Gus as real as possible and also offered fantastic encouragement. Thanks also to my sister, Erin Thomas, a kick-ass speech-language pathologist (my sister is seriously the coolest, and I really should have incorporated more of her advice), and other early readers!
I also have to give ultimate kudos to Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark, the amazing hosts of My Favorite Murder, for humanizing true-crime stories and always putting an emphasis on valuing the victims over the villains. They are too good for this world. SSDGM.
I need also to thank my parents, Kathryn Thomas and Haydn Thomas, social workers who raised my siblings and me to value others regardless of their differences, disabilities, or limitations. I am so grateful for all the perspective they have given us.
Finally, thanks again to my darling egg-carton of fans. Your support has meant so much on dark days, and your fan art makes me cry with joy. Sorry about Blunderkinder Book Three, y’all. It’s still a flame in my heart (I can’t give it up).
In so many ways, Wild and Crooked is a reflection on rural upbringing. I was raised in the woods of Michigan, but there are woods everywhere, and I think I will always write stories about trying to find a way through them.
BLOOMSBURY YA
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This electronic edition published in 2019 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
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First published in the United States of America in June 2019 by Bloomsbury YA
Text copyright © 2019 by Leah Thomas
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Thomas, Leah, author.
Title: Wild and crooked / by Leah Thomas.
Description: New York : Bloomsbury, 2019.
Summary: Kalyn, living under a pseudonym, and Gus, who has cerebral palsy, get caught in an uproar in Samsboro, Kentucky, as the truth about the brutal murder of Gus’s father by Kalyn’s comes to light.
Identifiers: LCCN 2018045382 (print) • LCCN 2018051376 (e-book)
ISBN: 978-1-5476-0002-1 (HB)
ISBN: 978-1-5476-0004-5 (PB)
ISBN: 978-1-5476-0001-4 (eBook)
Subjects: | CYAC: Murder—Fiction. | Secrets—Fiction. | Friendship—Fiction. | Cerebral palsy—Fiction. | People with disabilities—Fiction. | City and town life—Kentucky—Fiction. | Kentucky—Fiction.
Classification: LCC PZ7.1.T463 Wil 2019 (print) | LCC PZ7.1.T463 (e-book) | DDC [Fic]—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018045382
Book design by John Candell
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