by Santo, JC
I feel my eyes starting to burn. The last thing I want to do is cry in front of him. I go to turn and remove myself from the embarrassing situation. However, I’m stopped by none other than J.C.’s hand around my shoulders.
In a flurry of movement, multiple things happen; J.C. comforts me while Reed stares daggers at the two of us, he’s then met with a slap to the back of the head just as Marshall comes to stand next to him.
With his eyes on me, he addresses Reed.
“Quit being a fucking dick, dude. Everyone here is sick of it.” All of the guys nod their heads in agreement. “Look, you two are going to see each other, all of us know something happened between you guys, so everyone needs to get the hell over it so we can move on like the big, fucked up, dysfunctional family we are.”
J.C.’s hand moves to my lower back, and he lightly pushes me toward Marsh. Luckily, everyone else seems to have picked up with their own conversations. It’s just Marsh, Reed, J.C., and Hunter who seem to be interested in this conversation.
No need for more people to see me humiliated today.
Marsh looks from me to Reed, speaking to us both.
“You two have got to work something out; there’s no way we can keep dealing with this shit.”
I shake my head in denial while Reed starts to argue.
J.C. pipes in, “Dude, don’t even start to deny it. You’re an even bigger asshole than you typically are.”
The smile that sneaks onto my face is unavoidable. It does bring me the slightest bit of pleasure knowing he’s somehow miserable with everything too. Although, I’m not sure why—he didn’t want a relationship to begin with and he was the one who called an end to our fling.
“Y’all go talk this shit out. At least make it to where we can all be together without this divide in the group,” J.C. practically begs.
I look to Reed, leaving this in his hands. I have no issue talking to him. I’m surprised when I see him give a single nod to Marshall and J.C. then lead the way to a small bistro-style table at the far side of the yard.
The exact spot where he kissed me not too long ago.
Taking a seat, I wait for him to start this conversation. After a couple silent minutes of glares and him taking swigs of his beer, he finally talks.
“What is it about him?”
“Excuse me?” I’m utterly confused.
“Him, the guy. That’s why you wouldn’t go home with me at the wedding. What’s he got that I don’t?”
“Are you shitting me right now?” I rise out of my seat. “Your friends want us to try to be friendly toward one another and this is how you start off that conversation? What the hell does my friend, Matthew, have to do with anything, Reed?”
This is a lost cause. Reed has no intentions of discussing anything that matters, he’s only curious as to what stopped him from getting laid. I turn to walk away when he grabs my hand, halting me.
“Tegan, wait. I’m sorry, okay? I don’t know what you want from me.”
I turn back to face him and pull my arm out of his grasp. Him touching me is too much, I won’t be able to walk away from him if I feel any kind of physical connection.
“You know, Reed? I don’t either, but for starters you can help fix this shit storm you and your damn mouth got us into. I don’t want my sister pissed at me, and I’d prefer if all of our friends don’t know our seedy past. So until I’m on normal terms with Tessa again and our fling, or whatever the fuck you want to call it, isn’t the topic of discussion for everyone, I don’t accept your apology.”
With that, I walk back to the deck where Marsh is waiting for me.
My heart may have shattered just a little more with that conversation. I now know with certainty that I was never more than a conquest to Reed.
Reed
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I had every opportunity to talk to her, tell her that I’m sorry, be a fucking friend. And instead, I let my mouth get the best of me. Now she probably hates me even more. I didn’t think that was possible after the way I ended shit between us.
Sitting alone at the bistro table, I think back to that night.
I had heard through the grapevine at work that Tess was being sent home early. Knowing Tess and how good of a sailor she is, I knew she didn’t get into trouble, which only left one of two other options for her to come home early; either she got hurt or she got knocked up.
Things with Tegan had been great, too great, actually; I was beginning to feel things for her. It was past time to put an end to us; Tessa’s return worked in perfectly. I had intentions of going over to her apartment, telling her what was going on, ending it, and then leaving. But when I walked in and she’d prepared dinner for us, I couldn’t.
All through dinner, I kept telling myself to blurt it out, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. That’s when one last night together came to me. I decided at the dinner table to show her how much I care in the only way I knew how—with my body.
And that’s exactly what I did. I didn’t fuck her that night, I made love to her. And then I left her with a note and a bullshit apology on the table in the middle of the night.
I cut her completely out of my life. I stopped hanging out with the group as much as I normally did, distanced myself from Hunter just so I didn’t have to possibly run into her. I didn’t answer her calls or texts. After about two weeks, she finally got the hint.
Hardest two weeks of my life.
I’m not a sentimental guy—hell most of the time I’m an uncaring bastard—but Tegan had an aura about her. She was the girl next door, angelic like to an extent, even the most uncaring person wouldn’t want to cause her pain.
For the first few days I drank myself into an oblivion just so I didn’t call her to apologize. After about the third or fourth day, J.C. showed up. In one of my many drunken talks, I admitted to sleeping with Tegan. I didn’t know what all I said to him that night, but ever since then, he’d been on my case to make this shit right.
And I just fucked it up. Again.
Knowing Marshall and J.C. are waiting to hear how our chat went, or more than likely waiting to rip me a new one for being a dick again, I slip out the side gate. If I wasn’t the bad guy in this situation before, after that talk, I definitely am now.
I didn’t miss her saying my friend, Matthew. The dude isn’t even her boyfriend, I acted on impulse and jealousy both times I’ve mentioned him and he’s just her friend. Just goes to show that Tegan sparks emotions and feelings inside me that I’m not used to or comfortable with.
Stressed out and irritated, I know the two things that will clear my head. I shoot off a quick text to J.C.
Although he wants things between Tegan and me to settle, I know he won’t give me too much shit for the way I acted today. I let him know I’ll be at his place at ten to pick him up. A few beers with one of my best friends is the perfect ending to this fucked up day. And hey, maybe I’ll find someone to take home for the night.
As soon as I walk in my apartment, I dash to my room and change clothes. On my way back to the front door, I grab my leather jacket out of the front closet and switch out keys before leaving again.
It’s a bit cooler than I like when I ride, but it’s needed today. I’m glad I only had a beer at Tessa’s house.
My adoptive dad was the one who introduced me to my love of bikes, he had a couple when I was growing up. His love of bikes rubbed off on me and my younger brother. Working on them became something special that he shared with us. I mean, what teenaged boy isn’t fascinated with motorcycles?
I rode my first one when I was seventeen; my dad taught me to drive one of his old ones. It was my first taste of freedom, and I was instantly addicted.
Within two years, I had my own.
Ever since then, I’ve always had a love for riding. Those eight weeks during boot camp, that was the one thing I missed most, being able to get on my bike and just drive. While others craved a drink or cigarettes, all I wanted was the open ro
ad and my bike.
I shouldn’t have been a dick to Tegan today. She wants to be friends so that everything is okay with the group. I get that, I really do, I just don’t understand why I don’t want to be her friend.
Relationships are a no-go for me. However, something inside me is tugging at my brain, screaming at me that I’m wrong in this case.
Two hours later, I pull up under my carport refreshed but still burdened with stress.
Normally, my rides clear up all of the jumbled thoughts in my head—that wasn’t the case today. I found myself questioning my decisions more and more.
Should I have slept with Tegan at all?
Would she have dated me had I asked?
How long will this ‘no relationship’ rule last?
Do I want to end up an eternal bachelor?
The only positive I figured out today, is that I need to get my shit together and apologize to Tegan and the rest of my dysfunctional family for my shit mood lately.
I volunteered to pick up J.C. tonight. The chances of both of us going home in the same vehicle are slim. One or both of us typically finds a nightly companion. However, lately, J.C. has actually been keeping it in his pants. My guess is Jo has something to do with that. But judging by her having a date at Tessa's wedding and his attendance in the pity party at the bar that night, I don't know that they're still an item.
Thinking back now, we looked like a couple of pathetic pussies that night. We both could’ve found someone to go home with, but we ended up at my apartment together tossing back beers and wallowing in our own private pity sessions. Neither of us questioned what was going on with the other. It’s just something he and I have adapted to in our friendship. We both are very private guys, J.C. knows if I need or want to talk, I’ll come to him. And I’m aware that he’s the same way.
That being said, I'll see what I can get out of him tonight regarding the situation with Jo, but my main goal is to just relieve some stress and hang out with my bro. I contemplated calling Hunter and some of the other guys, but I'm sure they're pissed at me. I can't say I blame them, either. I know when Tegan went inside they, especially Hunter and Marshall, wanted to know what was said, and I don't expect her to cover for me. Not after the way I behaved today.
I saw the tears welled up in her eyes when she walked away; it took some guts for her to say what she said to me. She usually avoids confrontation, so I’m proud of her for voicing her opinion. I just wish it hadn’t been directed at me.
Not ten minutes after arriving, J.C. is on the dance floor with some random skank and I’m stuck dealing with her friend who can’t catch a clue.
Seriously, not one fucking clue. When I pulled out my phone to ignore her, the dumbass thought that was in invitation to scoot closer, and now has somehow worked her way onto my lap.
Just fucking shoot me.
This is not what I needed tonight. Now I’m going to have to be a dick again today, I’m gonna have to tell this broad to take a hike so I can relax.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see that J.C. and dumb broad’s friend are still on the dance floor. My eyes make a sweep of the room, hoping I can find someone I know to use as a means to get away from this chick. I’ve all but given up hope when my eyes fall on the last person on Earth who’d be willing to help me.
Tegan Daniels.
Karma is such a fucking bitch.
Tegan
After I stormed away from Reed’s arrogant ass, I actually ended up enjoying the baby shower and hung out for a little while afterwards.
We played games and everyone tried convincing Hunter and Tess to announce the sex of the babies, but they’re remaining tight lipped until they’re born.
I was right, no more apologies were exchanged between my sister and me. Saying sorry isn’t something Tessa does well. She’s a true, stubborn, southern woman; her pride is always present. By the halfway point of the party, we were back to our typical behavior.
We did, however, discuss things that were left unsaid from Jo’s apartment the other day.
While Tessa wasn’t super happy with me reaffirming to her that I am capable of handling my personal affairs without her, she did finally seem to become conscious of the fact that I am grown, not the child like she’s treated me as. I understand where her concern stems from. It’s just as Jo said before—she’s terrified Reed will break my heart. It wasn’t easy to lie and keep her from knowing that it’s too late to stop something that’s already happened.
I managed to avoid Reed for the rest of the day. According to Jo, he never came inside after I stormed away from him. I’m assuming he left, and J.C. and Marsh probably had a hand in that.
I wasn’t home long when my phone chimed with a text from Ashley inviting me over to her apartment for drinks with her and Grace. Even though the day turned out better than I had expected, a girls’ night out is a great way to relieve some of the stress I’m still carrying around.
Even though my sister and I are back on good terms, I’m still not ready to forgive Reed. My head feels like it’s constantly spinning from all of the chaos inside it. A drink, or a few, are much needed at this point.
Being around the girls from work is like removing a heavy weight from around my neck. I’m not nearly as worried as how they’ll react if my tryst with Reed is ever discussed. They won’t care about the age difference or the fact that he’s my sister’s friend. They won’t be against us because he doesn’t check off all of my boxes. They’ll simply be supportive.
Once I left the baby shower, I decided that I have way too much going on in my personal life to worry about Reed and his irrational feelings. I just need one night to get sloshed off my ass, wallow in my pity, and then I’ll be ready to move on.
What started off as a girls’ night in quickly changed. As soon as the girls learned I am a dancer, they fueled me with a few shots, made some minor makeup touch-ups, and rushed me to Eagle’s Nest. The only reason I agreed to going is because typically Reed doesn’t frequent this bar. Unless the group forces him to come for a get together. No get together—no Reed at Eagle’s Nest.
I did manage to text Marsh and tell him to get his ass out here. He's supposed to be coming out soon.
Dancing has always been a passion of mine; it’s my go-to stress reliever.
Growing up, I loved dancing. I was always in some different class, but my favorite was ballet. I was on the dance team in high school and took dance classes up until I moved to Norfolk.
I haven’t found a studio here yet, so the clubs are my only opportunity to practice, and even then, there’s only so much you can do in a bar without looking crazy. I have free time now that the wedding and baby shower are over, so I’ll have to start looking for one. And since Reed and I aren’t sneaking around anymore, that clears up even more of my free time.
The moment we arrive in the busy club, I make a beeline for the packed dance floor but Ashley pulls me off track and to the bar. Because obviously more alcohol is needed tonight; we couldn’t even drive here. Luckily, I’ve discovered the convenience of Uber, a cab service, since moving here.
We down two shots each then finally get on the crowded dance floor.
Everyone is always surprised when I let loose dancing, and the girls are no different. While they struggle to learn the basic moves of a line dance, I’m working intricate choreography into the basic steps.
I finally manage to pull myself out of Ashley’s grasp on the dance floor after the third or fourth consecutive song, and make a beeline for the bar for a much-needed drink. She and Grace both continue grinding against each other and shout out their drink orders for me.
My fun-loving mood suddenly freezes when I’m stopped dead in my tracks, shocked at the sight in front of me. I’m utterly speechless for a few seconds when the bartender asks for my order.
Posted up at the bar with a leggy bimbo on his lap sits Charlie-fucking-Reed.
He looks sexy as hell in a charcoal-grey, thermal shirt and jeans. His sleeves are
slightly pushed up, giving a glimpse of the colorful tattoos that grace those muscular, tan arms. His outfit is topped off with a beanie covering his short, dark hair. As I stare, my eyes can’t decide what part of him to focus on, the tightly-stretched material across his chest, the hint of noticeable tattoos on his arms, the way his full lips wrap around the mouth of the beer he’s drinking, or the way the skank he’s with is practically humping his leg.
My mind races on what to do, and in a rash decision, I conclude that avoiding eye contact is the best possible option. I know Reed and I will eventually see each other with other people, but I didn’t expect it to be so soon after him kissing me at Tessa’s wedding. Or after he started shit with my sister about that kiss happening again.
I won’t lie, part of me is a little hurt. How can he all but tell Tess and Hunter that our kiss will happen again, then he’s here with a random bed warmer?
The insecure side of me immediately begins to think that I am the issue, not the situation. I was a conquest, and at the first sight of trouble, Reed was done bothering with me.
Seems he’s found a new conquest.
Whatever, who he screws is not my concern. I’m here for a fun night out with the girls.
With that mindset, I place my drink order and keep them in my peripheral vision while I wait. I can’t get over how uninterested he is with her. She, on the other hand, looks as though she’s ready to hike up her short skirt and pee on him to claim her territory.
Was I that desperate with him?
Reed has been too preoccupied with his phone and his date that is grinding her ass against his crotch to notice me, thank goodness. The cute bartender sits the round of drinks down in front of me, takes my cash, and leaves me with a wink. I feel as though I’m in the clear, escaping the view of Reed unnoticed, but unfortunately, Karma is an asshole, and Ashley chooses the exact moment I turn away from the bar, with all three drinks in my hands, to holler out my name and bump into me, spilling said drinks all down my front.
