Sam's Theory

by Sarah Mendivel

I turned my head to the side, scanning the rest of the lakefront. Bunches of driftwood were scattered in masses, nearly hiding a clearing of dirt in the distance. I stood up, thinking that might be a good place to set up camp.

  As I made my way over the ancient logs, I noticed an old canoe sitting at the side of the lake. Curious about how it got there, I changed direction and headed toward it. I picked up a stick on my way, approaching it slowly, in case raccoons or other critters might be making a home of it.

  Inching closer to the canoe, I saw that its sides were tired and green. I kicked it with the tip of my shoe a bit, trying to scare away whatever might be inside. The wood felt sturdy, giving me hope that it would still be able to float. I gradually leaned over the inside of the boat to scan for spiders. Instead, I found a backpack.

  There was an emblem drawn on the front of it that looked vaguely familiar. The letters “O” and “C” artistically overlapped one another and my brain worked hard to identify what they stood for. Just as it came to me, I heard my name echo into the atmosphere around me.

  “Sam?!” yelled a voice from behind a group of birch trees.

  “Dodger?” I said instinctively, not believing my ears.

  “Sam, it’s me,” shouted a figure running at me from the distance. I recognized him immediately.

  It was him!

  It was Dodger!

  We each ran as fast we could until we collided in an embrace that sent electricity down my spine. “I can’t believe you’re here! I was so worried about you,” Dodger mumbled through the crumpled back of my hoodie as we hugged.

  He was worried about me? Did that mean he thought of me while we were apart? How did he find this place? How long had he been here? Was I late? Did he still want me to be there? I didn’t know whether to blush at his response or cry from the relief of seeing him again.

  “I’m okay,” I said, reassuring him. “When did you get here?”

  He let go of me, but kept his hand on my arm. “A couple of days ago. I know I was a bit early, but I didn’t want to miss you. Where did you go? How long have you been out here?”

  I desperately wanted to tell him about Theory, the treehouse hanging in the middle of the woods, and all of the things I had been learning about. Instead, I thought it’d just be easier to change the subject. “I’ve been doing okay. How’d you get out?”

  Dodger’s expression changed and he let go of my arm. He shook his head. “I followed our plan and finally just went for it. I couldn’t take it anymore.” He made a fist and tapped the side of his leg with it. “Those jerks can’t hurt us now.”

  I watched him closely, noticing how much anger lived inside of him. It was enough to start a forest fire. For a fleeting moment I wondered if Theory could help dissipate some of his rage, the way she had with me.

  “I talked to some guys from another group home before I left. The State is closing their rez because it doesn’t have enough money, or whatever, to keep it running. They’re kicking out a bunch of kids and putting them into other homes because of it. I can’t let that happen because who knows where they’ll end up.

  “I swear, I’m so sick of seeing kids get shuffled around like that. And who knows who they’ll end up with. Prolly more sick adults that’ll treat ‘em like crap. I’m going to get whatever kids I can from that rez first and bring them up here.” He started dismantling his backpack and spoke with authority. “This is it, Sam. This was the hard part: leaving. Now that we’re together we can start planning our next move. The Collective is growing and will be huge by the time we’re done with it.”

  He kept busying himself. “I figure we get as many kids up here as possible so that they’re safe. No more stupid placements or trying to trust grown-ups that screw it all up. We can raise ourselves and figure out how to run this camp on our own. We should have some kind of system of who’s in charge. Obviously me and you will be most in charge to make sure everyone is taken care of the right way.”

  “How many kids are we trying to do this with?” I asked, feeling intimidated by his ambition. I was surprised by how quickly he was jumping into business, wondering if he was covering up for something else.

  “As many as need help! We start with this safe place, then find other safe places in other areas,” he said, seeming to question his own ideas the more he talked out loud.

  I felt my stomach twist. Suddenly, I realized that I wasn’t as free as I used to be. I couldn’t just run away from things and start a revolution like I could a few months ago. I felt accountable to someone now, someone who cared about me and who was likely wondering where I was right this second. I had to tell him about Theory.

  “Hey, Dodge?”

  “Yeah?”

  “So, after I ran away I found this place-”

  But before I could explain anything, Dodger stood up and walked past my words. “Good! I’m glad you set up camp. Start making room there for probably three or four more kids. I can bring them back up here in a couple more weeks. This dude I know can hook us up with whatever supplies we need because his stepdad owns an Army surplus store.”

  “Oh, wow. That’s awesome! But listen, Dodge-”

  “And then you can organize the kids I bring back and I’ll go back down and get more. Once our kids are trained on how to be safe up here and we figure out who’s who, we can have them go down and get more kids,” His pace quickened as he spoke and I couldn’t help but get lost in his words. I loved his voice and always felt like the ground was coming apart underneath me when he snapped his hair to the side of his face. I felt nervous and excited around him, wanting badly to say the right things so that he would still like me.

  Kneeling down to fill his water bottle from the lake, I could see the back of Dodger’s shirt lift just enough to expose a bruise. Someone had gotten to him again.

  My heart broke for him. Suddenly I felt ashamed for having been kept so safe the last few months while he continued to suffer. I decided it was best to keep Theory to myself for now.

  I knelt down beside him to keep him company. He washed his face in the lake and shook the remaining crystal water drops from his hair. A splash of mountain water hit my face and I scrunched my nose. He looked at me and laughed out loud. It was nice to hear him happy again.

  Splash!

  Dodger chopped the surface of the lake and sent a stream of water in my direction. I fell back and gasped. “What?!”

  He laughed again, even louder. Determined to stand my ground, I hit the top of the lake in his direction, returning the favor. He crouched to avoid the spray and tumbled toward me. We both bolted to our feet and raced around the lake laughing for what seemed like hours until the sun set.

  After building a fire together, Dodger stretched out his hand and offered me a cup of noodles. “Here. I jacked this from rez,” he boasted.

  “Thanks,” I said smiling. Dodger pulled out another cup for himself and fashioned a pot to boil water out of some foil he had in his pack. I watched the shadows from the fire dance across his face, transfixed by how caring he was. He seemed so different here, miles away from the chaos where we had met.

  Taking advantage of this new, softer Dodger, I chanced a real conversation with him. “So, how have you been?”

  He continued manipulating the foil into curves to heat the water quicker. “Okay, I guess. I got placed with this new family after you left.”

  “Did you like them?”

  A spark of light hit his face just enough for me to note a grimace. “I don’t know. The lady was all right, but the guy…” He trailed off and wiped his nose with his sleeve. I watched him struggle to find the words to tell me what happened, but the invisible monster that kept us all quiet when someone asked about our feelings took hold of him before he could manage.

  I tried again, the way Theory did with me. “He wasn’t a nice guy?”

  Dodger sat back, watching the water start to bubble. He cleared his throat and continued. “Not really. I thought he was cool for a while. The first few week
s we’d all hang out and do stuff together. He liked hunting and said he’d take me once I settled in. I’m not really into hunting, but I thought it’d be fun to try it out, you know?”

  I was careful to not break my eye contact as he spoke. I wanted him to know that I was catching all of his words and that they mattered to me. He shuffled his feet a bit, as if the dirt was in his way.

  Scratching the back of his neck, he forced himself to continue. “So we all went to the movies once a week, then all went out to dinner a couple times a week...but then. I don’t know, it just got weird.

  “Like, he wanted to keep hanging out, but suddenly he didn’t want anyone but just us two hanging out. He said his wife was working late more and more, so we’d go out on our own to dinner. He’d buy me whatever I wanted to eat, which was great, for a while.

  “But then I started noticing that everything we did suddenly was just the two of us. He started buying me more stuff, like whatever ridiculous magazines I asked for and these fancy markers to tag with. I was so pumped about all my new gear, but…”

  He trailed off, thinking back to something in particular. I wondered if this is what Theory saw when she watched me talk. I wondered if I was as obvious about my feelings as Dodger was being about his. Watching him sink into himself, I offered another rope to bring him back in. “So, did something happen?”

  Dodger’s eyes quickly met mine and he sarcastically said. “Jeez, you sound like a therapist now!”

  I bowed my head in embarrassment, studying the details of the noodle packaging to pretend I had never said anything. After a moment of silence, I could hear his voice yield back into a lenient state. “Sorry, I didn’t really mean that. Eh, yeah. Anyway, one night he finally said we could go camping. I was so stoked to finally see this place in the woods he kept talking about!

  “So, the next day we packed up and headed out. On the drive there, though, he started asking me these weird questions. Like, did I like guys or girls.” Dodger stopped instantly and looked at me awkwardly. I shyly smiled and looked back at the ground, too awkward to be objective.

  He recovered quickly. “I mean, duh. Of course I like girls. A girl….some girls, all girls. Okay, whatever!” He rushed to the end of the sentence to avoid any more tension. “Anyway he was asking me all this B.S. and I kept trying to avoid it. Finally we got there and started setting up our stuff. I went to the back of the truck to get the tent and I felt this huge smack on the back of my head.

  “Wham! I fell to the ground and got hit again in the back. Doosh! I looked up and this dude had totally changed into someone else! He started yelling at me, telling me that he’d ‘make a man out of me’ and ‘show me what you’re supposed to do with girls’.” Dodger changed his voice to mock the man. We both chuckled a bit, but the weight of the conversation pulled us back into seriousness.

  Dodger slumped over, positioning his elbows on his knees. “I thought he was going to keep hitting me, but his energy changed again.” He paused for a moment and seemed to be talking to himself. “He was so much stronger than me. I had a hard time fighting him off.”

  Dodger bowed his head and changed his tone. “He forced me onto my stomach and…” he started picking at the seam of his jeans. “I don’t know.”

  He lifted his head and looked at me, almost wanting permission to cry.

  I didn’t know what to say or do. I wanted to hold him, tell him everything was okay now, but he stood up before I could make a move.

  Shuffling a few rocks around with his foot, Dodger put his hands in his pockets and whispered. “Anyway. When he was done, I got out of there. I grabbed a knife that had fallen out of the truck and made a run for it. After hitchhiking a few times, I made it to the foothills and just started hiking. I knew it was close to spring and the birch tree would likely be coming in, so I chanced it.”

  Dodger looked at me, humbled by his own story. “And now I’m here. With you.”

  My heart melted with compassion for him. For some reason I had never considered a guy getting hurt the way I had been. Then again, why wouldn’t it happen to them, too? I sat in silence for a few minutes, mulling over the distinct and silent bond we had been forced into.

  Dodger poked his hand into the pot of water to check the temperature. I moved closer to him, but stayed just far enough away to let him know I respected his space. He tilted his face toward me and smiled, as if in understanding.

  “Dodge,” I finally said.

  “Yeah?”

  “I think you’re really brave.”

  Dodger turned his head toward me and softened his gaze. “Thanks, Sam. I think you are too.”

  We looked at one another in silence, letting the heat of the fire fill the inches of space between our faces. As I memorized his limestone eyes, he took in mine. I wondered what color my eyes were and hoped they wouldn’t give away my heart’s wishes.

  A breeze spilled past us and blew my bangs into my face. Dodger smiled and lifted his hand to move them back across my forehead. His fingers felt like live wires brushing over my skin and all I wanted to do was kiss him. From the expression on his face, I suspected he wanted to do the same.

  Oooo! Oooo!

  An owl startled us out of the moment and we both found ourselves laughing, half embarrassed. Dodger recovered quicker than I could. “I think the water’s ready. Still hungry?”

  I smiled shyly, tucking the other loose hairs behind my ears. “Yes.”

  Snap!

  A noise from the edge of the forest suddenly cracked our sweet moment in half. Dodger and I froze, both scared of what it could be. Had someone followed us up here? Was it that thing that kept stalking me? I hadn’t realized how dark everything around us had gotten until just now.

  “What was that?” Dodger whispered.

  “I don’t know,” I said, just as quietly.

  We sat and listened for a couple of minutes, but the woods stayed silent. Dodger sighed and shook his head. “It’s probably nothing.”

  His tone was suspicious, as if he knew more than what he was saying. Since we had done so well tonight, I decided to risk asking him about it. “What is it?”

  “Huh? Oh, nothin’,” he huffed.

  “No, what do you think it was?” I pushed.

  Dodger looked up at me, not sure whether to be put off or not. He ran his hands through his hair and shook his head again. “Nothing, I…it’s just.”

  “What?”

  “Nothing! I just thought there was something following me on my climb up here earlier. Like, something in the woods, but not a person,” he said, clearly bothered by having to think of it again.

  I looked at him, knowing exactly what he was talking about but feeling too scared to tell him I had heard the same thing on my climb in.

  “Anyway,” Dodger said, pouring water into my cup first, then his. He shuffled around a bit then cleared his throat. “It’s fine. We’re safe and I have a pretty serious camping knife in my backpack, so.”

  I smiled, feeling comforted by the idea of him protecting us. Watching his hands move the cooking gear around filled my heart with flutters. The noise in the woods suddenly seemed irrelevant.

  Dodger smiled softly. “You know, you seem…different.”

  I looked at him, worried that he had noticed the new person I was becoming. I wondered if he’d still like me if I was more independent and able to take care of myself. “Different how?”

  Dodge smiled and shook his head. “Not in a bad way. You just seem,” he poked around the fire looking for the right word. “I don’t know. Stronger, I guess.”

  I smiled, relieved that he seemed happy by my change. I wondered what other parts of me he liked, and if those parts would eventually change, too, the more I healed. He had the sweetest eyes that made the world feel fair enough to live in. More than his eyes, though, was the fact that he understood my story and didn’t judge it.

  He had a story of his own.

  The owl cooed again and Dodger called back to it in a way t
hat made us both laugh out loud. We imitated animal sounds until our food was ready, then talked at length about what The Orphan’s Collective would look like a few months from now.

  Eventually the fire fizzled out, as did the giddiness of our energy. Lying on our backs with shoulders slightly touching under an open sleeping bag, we starred up at the stars. I tried my best to stay awake so that I wouldn’t miss any more moments with Dodger, but eventually my eyes grew heavy and the sharp pinpoint of the stars wove themselves into my dreams.

  The next morning I woke up alone. The fire logs from the night before were midnight black and chalky. I sat up, rubbed the sleep from my eyes, and scanned the lake for Dodger. All I could make out were rows of trees standing beneath a cover of clouds.

  Disappointed that he had left without saying goodbye, I stood up and dusted the dirt from my back. He had done this a lot when we lived in rez, too. We would have plans to hang out, then I’d wait around long enough to realize he wasn’t coming. It’s not like he ever tried to make me mad on purpose though, he just seemed to get passionate about other stuff and would later end up justifying why he didn’t show up. It was one of the few things that really bugged me about him.

  Oh well, at least I knew he hadn’t forgotten about me and still cared enough about our mission to go get the other kids. Shoving my hands into the pockets of my hoodie to stay warm, I felt a wad of paper between my fingers.

  Pulling the paper out of my pocket, I could see that it was a handwritten note and immediately recognized Dodger’s penmanship. Thrilled that he had written me a letter, I hurried to unfold it.

  Dear Sam,

  I’m off to get more kids. I’ll be back in one week exactly, so be ready! I left you a cup of noodles in case you were hungry when you woke up.

  Thanks for listening to everything last night. Let’s keep that between us, okay?

  Here’s to The Orphan’s Collective.

  Stay Safe

  Dodge

  I smiled and stood on my tip-toes, dizzy with excitement that he had been thoughtful enough to leave me a note. I twirled in circles with the letter hanging from my hand, feeling as if I had just won the lottery. After catching my breath, I held still and started folding the note back up. Before I folded it completely, though, I noticed more writing on the backside of the paper.