by T A. McKay
“I was catching up on work, why the hell are you trying to attack me with…what is that anyway?” He points to the tyre iron that is down by my side.
“I came to check the fairing for the CBR, the front door was unlocked and I thought someone had broken in. Why didn’t you lock the door behind you? I could have fucking killed you.” We have always maintained the rule that if you are in the garage on your own, you lock the door for safety. If someone decided to break in, there is no way one person on their own would manage to fight them off.
“Oh, it wasn’t locked? Sorry, my mind is all over the place just now.” Well, if I needed a way to broach the subject this is the perfect segue.
“Thinking about last night are you?” Rocco doesn't even attempt to answer as he brushes past me and goes to sit behind his desk.
“So are you just planning on ignoring me or are you just thinking about your answer? Maybe wondering how much of your shit I will believe?” I try to keep the anger out of my voice, but I'm not sure I'm hiding it well. Rocco keeps his head down making me angrier, he left me in a horrible position last night and I’ll be fucked if I'm going to let him away with it.
“Rocco, you’re gonna have to talk to me man. I'm really fucking angry with you, but I need to know if I'm gonna need to kick your arse or not.” He finally looks up at me and I can see the look of confusion on his face.
“Why are you pissed at me?” Does he really not understand what he’s done? When I called Makenzie last night to make sure that she got home safely, she was really upset. It had taken a while to get her to settle down and make her believe I didn't know why he had left. I thought I was going to have to go over and see her, and leaving Claire wasn’t really high on the list of activities I wanted to do.
“You’re seriously asking me that? You left me with your woman last night, Rocco. Do you realise how upset she was? She nearly walked home on her own, and she didn't even know where we were. That was a shitty move, for both me and her!” At least he has the decency to look guilty. Good. He fucked up and he needs to know.
“She nearly walked home? Shit.” He runs his hand through his hair, showing how upset he is with this bit of information.
“I’m sorry, ok?” Nope, he isn't getting away with that lame arse answer.
“Try harder, Rocco. I want an explanation, one that I'm likely to believe.” He lets out a sigh, continuing to run his hands through his hair. He is trying to work out what to say, how to get his point across.
“It was too much.” I have no idea what he’s talking about, but I let him take his time. I don’t ask any questions and allow him to decide what he’s going to say next. It takes a few moments but he continues.
“I was having fun. She really is such a nice girl, beautiful and funny. Everything was going fine until we started dancing.” He stops again, taking a deep breath while he walks to the large window that covers the main wall of his office while I stay standing by his desk.
“Dancing with her, feeling her in my arms. It was perfect, too perfect … I needed to leave. When you knocked into us, it brought me to my senses.” Sometimes when I listen to Rocco talk, it’s like he’s talking in riddles. The fact that dancing with Makenzie made him happy should be a good thing, only Rocco could see it in such a negative light.
“I just don’t get it, Rocco. She likes you and you like her, so what’s the problem?” He looks at me with a look of pain on his face. He has looked at me like this way too many times since his accident. I wish with everything I am that I could get my Rocco back, the Rocco who was fun loving and lived for the moment. I need him again, this Rocco in front of me is only half the man I’ve always known.
“You know what the problem is, Mason. What the hell can I ever offer her? There is nothing that I can give her to keep her with me, so I don't see the point of starting anything. I will just disappoint her in the long run so why even bother now?”
“Fuck, Rocco. Do you realise how tired I get with this, it’s like talking to Elle? All that shit that she put into your head is just that, it’s shit! When are you gonna realise that you are playing into her hands? She doesn’t want you happy, so she filled your head with all that stuff that you now believe, but you're the idiot that gives her headspace. Maybe you should just try and be happy for once, see how it feels.” I hate getting angry with him, but he frustrates the ever-loving shit out of me, he is always giving Elle the headspace that she craves and it doesn't do him any good. He has finally found a girl that he likes, one that he has looked more than a fleeting glance at and he can't get over himself to pursue her.
“Screw you, Mason. I have told you before that my personal life is nothing to do with you. You just need to mind you own god damn business.” I don't take his bad mood personally. Rocco always tries to deflect with attitude, he can never hear that maybe he is wasting his life with all the feelings left over from his past, feelings he should just let go. I know it’s easy for me to think this, it’s not me that went through everything with Elle, and I’m sure if he told me everything she did to him, I would want to kill her with my bare hands. I keep trying to get through to him though, he needs to move on, this does no one any good, least of all him.
“Whatever, Rocco. I’m done with this convo today. Just know that you broke Mackenzie's heart, and I will be surprised if she ever speaks to you again. It was low brother, very, very low.” I turn and head towards the door. I can’t do this anymore today, my head hurts and I'm tired. I will let him stew for a while, take in the words I said and hopefully he will come to his senses.
“Think about it, Rocco. Forever is a long time to be alone.” As I close the door behind me, I hear him saying in a soft voice.
“Alone is all I can ever be.”
Chapter Four
I feel like I'm dying.
I didn't think it was possible to feel this bad. I made a mistake by sleeping on the plane, no the thing I did wrong was getting drunk, but after spending the last three days in Las Vegas with Nico, drunk was the only way to be. Thinking back over the time we spent together I smile, realising that the lack of sleep and killer hangover are totally worth it. I thought the times we had spent together had been memorable, but when Nico needs to sow his wild oats to forget about a woman then mayhem reigns! There was drinking, dancing, women, a little more drinking and a lot more women. It was one of those holidays of a lifetime, the ones that you never tell a living soul what happened. Maybe one day I will tell that story, but just now isn't the time. Now it’s time to try and recover and get back to some sort of normality. Rocco is expecting me back at work on Monday so I have two full days to sober up and catch up with some sleep. Oh and a shower, the shower there had been so bad that I had still felt dirty when I was getting out. I had even used the showers of a few of the local girls I picked up, thinking that a shower in an actual house would be better than one in the hotel we were booked into. I was wrong, and after the flight I really need to make that my first stop now I'm home.
I make my way upstairs to my room, stripping out of my t-shirt on the way. I throw it in the washing basket as I take a look in the mirror trying to judge the damage my time away has caused. Shit. It’s not good. There are dark circles around my eyes that are showing exactly how little sleep I have had in the past three days, or is it four if you include travel? I don't even know anymore. My hair has taken on a really strange style, one side is sticking up ridiculously and the other half seems to be stuck to my head, and I don’t think I want to know what that sticky section is in the front. I continue my inspection down past my face and stop as I reach the right side of my chest and just stare. I swear I don't remember getting that hickey on my chest and it makes me wonder where else I might have one.
The steam from the shower starts to fog up the mirror and I decide that discovery can be one for later, at this moment I just need a shower and the scalding water is almost calling to me. I remove my jeans and make my way into the shower. I take in a harsh breath as the heat of the water
scalds my skin, but it passes quickly and all I’m left with is sheer pleasure. The heat relaxes my muscles and it takes more strength than it should to keep myself in standing upright. I place my head against the cold tiles and just let the water power down onto my shoulders while I try and shut off from everything, to relax my body at the same time as my mind. My peace is shattered when I hear my mobile ringing from my bedroom, but there is no way I am leaving this shower just yet. Everyone important knows I'm home safe so whoever it is can just wait.
Grabbing a towel from the rack next to the shower, I wrap it around my waist and make my way over to the sink. Wiping the mirror with a hand towel to clear the steam, I see that I don’t look as bad as I did before. Grabbing my toothbrush and putting a thick layer of toothpaste on it I start to scrub my teeth with more vigour than normal, there are some memories I need to get rid of, even if Nico found them very funny. I feel a shudder go through my body as I remember, thankfully my phone rings at this moment pulling me from the memory I really don’t want to be having. Walking over to my bed, I pick up my phone and look at the screen, seeing that it’s Jonah I let out a small groan. There’s no way that's this is going to end any other way than me in a nightclub, very drunk again. I don’t want to go out tonight, I just want to sleep. I contemplate ignoring his call, but I know he will just keep calling until I answer or he will turn up at my door and then I will never escape him. I walk back to the bathroom and spit into the sink before pressing the accept button to connect the call.
“Speak.” I say in a serious voice.
“You’re a dick, you know this right?” His voice comes over the line with a laugh behind it.
“This is true, but the ladies love it. What you calling for Jo, I was just about to jump into bed?”
“Bed? It’s nine thirty, when did you turn into a ninety-year-old man? Oh…or are you not alone?” I sigh into the receiver letting him know he’s boring me. I should have let him come to the house, at least I would be able to hit him and not just sigh, yeah that would make me feel better.
“I’m alone you idiot. I just flew home from a weekend in Vegas and I'm dying here. So whatever you want, can you make it quick so I can hang up on you.” I’m starting to regret answering the call, ok that's a lie, I’ve been regretting it since I pressed the button.
“Awe…someone’s cranky! Do you need someone to come and change your nappy and put you to bed.” The irritating fucker is putting on his best baby voice and I make a mental note to beat the crap out of him the next time I see him. This would annoy me on the best of days, but today is just not the day for his shit.
“Times up.” I go to disconnect the call when I hear him shouting into his phone.
“I'm sorry, don’t hang up on me!” I place the phone back to my ear, but I don’t speak.
“Darren wants us all to go out with him tonight, apparently his heart’s been broken again.” I try not to laugh but just thinking about Darren’s latest ‘girlfriend’ makes that difficult. This is just another in the long list of women that he has fallen in love with almost instantly. The thing about Darren is he is a die hard romantic, he wants to find love but sadly he looks in all the wrong places. I doubt very much he is going to find ‘the one’ in our local hangouts, especially when as a group we have probably been through most of the ladies here and you don’t want sloppy seconds.
“What, you mean that stripper wasn’t wife material? Even after he paid for her to get her boobs done? How long did she stay this time, did she make it out of recovery before she dumped his arse?” I know that we shouldn’t laugh at his expense, but the guy really is blind when it comes to a pretty face.
“I think it was after she got her stitches out, she just couldn’t see them being together. So you can't say no to going tonight, he needs us. You know you don't want to miss the chance of being there when he gets drunk and picks up the next Miss Right.” I suddenly realise that Jonah’s right, any chance I had of getting out of going out disappeared with just those few words.
“Fuck. Fine, what time and where?” I listen his reply as I imagine passing out tonight, I wonder if I will make it to midnight. It’s going to be messy … and I'm not sure how well I will survive.
Waking in the morning, I try not to move my head too much. I think my head is going to explode all over my bedroom wall if I even tilt it to the side. Oh my God, why did I drink so much last night? I don’t remember going to the club with the guys, in fact, I don’t remember leaving the second pub. My bladder is screaming at me and I know I'm going to have to brave move before I leave a wet patch. Sitting up doesn’t agree with me and I feel my stomach roll while my head continues to throb. I keep my eyes closed, trying to minimise the pain while I gently raise myself from the edge of my bed … and walk straight into something hard.
“Fuck.” My toe is throbbing just as much as my head now. I have no idea what I walked into, but I know whatever it is has been moved, there is nothing next to my bed. I gently open my eyes, trying to limit the damage the daylight could do. I can’t help the confusion when I open them and move my head to take in my surroundings. Where the fuck am I? This isn’t my room! I turn to face the bed I’ve just gotten out of and there she is. I say she because I have no idea who it is and why I'm here. She is lying facing away from me at the moment with the sheet curled under her chin so I don’t even know what she looks like. The one thing I do know is that I am currently standing here naked in a stranger's room and it is…well it’s nearly eight o’clock in the morning. Shit, I really need to get out of here before she wakes. My bladder is still screaming at me as I make my way around the room gathering my clothing as quietly and with as little movement as possible. Thankfully n my sudden panic my head doesn’t feel as bad as before. I walk backwards out her room, making sure that she’s still asleep. I never sleep over, it leads to lots of unwanted drama in the morning so I usually just hit it and leave, I must have drank more than usual last night. Closing the door I drop my clothes on the floor and grab my jeans, I don’t mind making my escape with limited clothes, but I refuse to do it stark bollock naked. Zipping my jeans, I pick up the pile from the floor and make my way down the hall, as I reach the end I hear a door closing and someone walking on the wooden floor. I stop where I am, standing still and wait while muttering to myself ‘please don’t be her husband’. The last thing I want or need this morning is to come face to face with an angry husband, I'm not sure I have the mental capacity to get myself out of this without a punch. I move slowly towards the wall at the end of the hall, peeking around the corner, I can see a woman standing in the middle of the room checking something in her hand. I feel my body relax when I realise that I probably won’t be leaving with a black eye this morning, I only say probably because I have been hit by a few angry women, and they are as scary as shit. I move across the floor quietly hoping to get out of the door without drawing attention to myself, but it was just too much to hope for. I knock the edge of the table knocking over a vase, I grab it quickly so it doesn’t drop to the floor, but I know the noise of the table must have grabbed the woman’s attention.
“Oh God, she brought home another one.” I can almost hear the sneer in her voice as she makes this statement. I take a deep breath and turn to face the woman attached to the voice.
“Another what?” I give her what I hope is my winning smile, the smile that has got me out of more than a few bad situations.
“Another loser. I swear that girl has no brain. She sees a pretty face and she doesn’t care if it has a brain attached.” I stand staring at her with my mouth open, not to sure how to respond to her. She is pissed off and I'm obviously going to be the person she vents at.
“At least tell me you only had sex with her, you didn’t rob her like the last one?” What the fuck? Do I really look like that kind of guy?
“Hey now, just wait a minute! I didn’t rob...” And that's when I realise how bad this is going to look, I don’t know her friend's name.
“Your friend.
I just…well she just... it’s none of your business. I don’t need to answer to you about what I do.” Why am I sounding so defensive and feeling the need to explain myself to this girl?
“Her name is Talia.” She starts to laugh at me and my obvious discomfort. I need to tell her to just fuck off, but why can’t I?
“Look, flavour of the night, just leave. The front door is right there, and don’t let it hit you on the arse on the way out.” With these parting words, she turns and walks away from me. I stand for a minute just staring after her, trying to work out what just happened. I have never been dismissed by a woman before, they all want me. The one thing I have never had to work for before was attention from the opposite sex, and in one fail swoop this … this woman has just brushed me off leaving me standing here like an idiot. The main thing that’s confusing me though is that I'm not sure if I want to call her all the shitty names running through my head or chase after her. To demand that she takes it all back and make her like me. I know whatever part wins there is always that other part of me that just got turned on a little by her attitude towards me, and that's the main bit that's messing with me just now. I think I need to go home and sleep, yeah I need to sleep. This jetlag is obviously messing with my head.
Chapter Five
It’s Friday morning and today is the best I have felt all week. I finally went to bed and slept, actually I think it could be classed as passing out. I had woken up fourteen hours later, late for work, but it was worth it, I felt alive again. Now it’s time to catch up with Rocco, he has been hidden away all week in his office brooding and I haven’t had a chance to talk to him. I can only imagine that this is still to do with Makenzie, and I’ve had enough. If he doesn’t want to be with Makenzie then fine, but he is going to repay that favour he owes me, I just need to trick him into agreeing. I have a date tonight with Jen and she has a friend who is coming along, or she will if I can get her a date. My job now is to get Rocco to agree to join us at the restaurant, because if he doesn't come then Jen won't come...and if Jen doesn't come neither will I. There is no way in hell I am not getting laid tonight, I have gone all week without anything while I recovered so tonight must happen.
