by Lori Perkins
Shades of
Romance
MARCI HIRSCH
It’s All in the Eyes
NEAR THE BEGINNING of Fifty Shades of Grey, our heroine, Ana, makes a profound and magnetic eye connection with Christian Grey. I understood that connection completely, because just about everything romantic in my life has started with my eyes. Ana knows how I feel, and vice versa. Christian’s eyes haunted her dreams and burned into her “with some unfathomable emotion.”
All my life I’ve been told I have unusual eyes. I guess they are rather large. They have green irises sprinkled with red and gold flecks and my pupils have dark purple rings.
Eyes have been on my mind since I read the novel, and I started thinking about something that happened when I was a teenager—the first time I was aroused by someone’s eyes. At a New Year’s Eve party I caught a cute boy looking at me from across the room. No matter where I was, when I looked up, there he was, watching me. It wasn’t creepy, just very sensual, although I wouldn’t have known to use that word back then. I eventually understood the feeling was a combination of curiosity, lust, and being teenagers. Eventually the boy spoke to me. I can’t recall what he said, but I remember his sparkling green eyes.
At eighteen, a man entered my life. He was twenty-one, older, and he was definitely a ladies’ man, with twinkling brown bedroom eyes that seduced me the moment I met him. He loved women and they loved him. At least, I sure did. We dated for five years and we had some amazing sexual experiences together.
I watched my first adult movies with him, the famous Deep Throat and The Devil in Miss Jones. These movies were very controversial—everyone was talking about them in hushed voices—and my reaction was total fascination. I understood why some people objected to them. I felt that anyone had the right to object to sexy movies but not the right to tell me I couldn’t enjoy them. While watching these movies, I still remember watching the eyes of the actors and it always seemed to me the ones who were having the best sex were the ones making the most intense eye contact.
The sexual allure of eyes has also been a part of my reading experiences, too, especially books with sexual content. I had an active sexual imagination, knew that sex was a natural part of life, and I felt that reading about sex was part of the fun. As a young girl, I quickly graduated from Harold Robbins and moved on in my literary sex quest by reading erotic books by Anne Rampling and A.N. Roquelaure (both, I later learned, pseudonyms used by Anne Rice), who easily tapped my desire button.
Fast-forward to today. I’ve now read most of the best erotic literature, and as Vice President of Vivid Entertainment, helped design beautiful and erotic video and DVD covers and met many famous porn stars. Having been in the adult entertainment industry most of my adult life, I believe the fine line between porn and erotica has all but disappeared. One person’s erotica is another’s porn. Whatever you call it, it was created to stimulate and arouse.
And, with all these experiences, it is still the eyes that get me, just as they did that memorable New Year’s Eve so many years ago.
It’s been said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Throughout Fifty Shades of Grey, Ana and Christian are blessed with the ability, whether conscious or not, to look deep inside each other’s thoughts—including their sexual thoughts—through the intensity of their gaze.
What I have come to realize is that we don’t wear our hearts on our sleeves, we wear them in our eyes. Some eyes are mischievous, some twinkle, others sizzle. They didn’t coin the term “bedroom eyes” for nothing. I can tell immediately if there will be sexual compatibility with someone if our eyes lock. For me, everything romantic or just plain sexual starts with a look, and sometimes the response is a jolt so strong I can feel it with every sense of my being.
Sexy eyes are the biggest turn-on there is for me. They provide an immediate sexual connection. Whether what’s there is romantic or animalistic, it’s always hot. Conversely, if there’s nothing going on with the eyes, I give up all sexual interest.
Attraction starts with a look and sometimes that is all it takes, because just one look into someone else’s eyes can put us on the same wavelength. Once the connection is made, I find it hard to break. As E. L. James writes, “He [Christian] has beautiful eyes—captivating, intelligent, deep, and dark, dark with dominant secrets.” Oh my!
For some people, it’s the kisses. Not for me. The first kiss may be electric but only my partner’s eyes can shake me to my core. Seeing the effect I have on my partner increases my pleasure and can take my breath away.
Come to think about it, I don’t know why kisses are always portrayed with closed eyes. You miss so much when you can’t see each other. During my best sexual encounters, I’ve looked into my partner’s eyes during the entire experience.
An urgent, open-eyed kiss sets the tone for what’s to come. Ana felt, “I’m hypnotized by his eyes staring fervently into mine.” Combine eye penetration with great sex and it is guaranteed to be an experience that won’t be forgotten … ever! A look can transport you to another place. A place where no one else exists but you and your partner.
In my day job I see women having sex and being photographed in sexy poses all the time. I have watched the girls during photo shoots and often wondered what they were thinking about that gave them that smoldering look. The best pictures depict girls who look like they either just got laid or are about to. The eyes of a top model almost always express sexual arousal. When she’s looking deeply into the eyes of her lover, imaginary or real, suddenly the rest of the world no longer exists. Everything she needs to communicate is said through a look.
E. L. James vividly captures this reality in Fifty Shades of Grey. Christian’s eyes show his desire and need for Ana, just as hers do for him. Christian uses Ana’s looks as a barometer as to how far he can go with her. It’s the same for me. From the first kiss through orgasm I like to know what my partner is feeling. If we are looking at one another, we can adjust our movements and make those tiny changes that can increase the intensity of the moment. If we’re clamping our eyes closed, or looking somewhere else, we may never know when or how to do that one subtle thing that can make all the difference, and it is amazingly empowering.
Ana had power over Christian. It just took her a while to figure it out and make it work for her.
Just as Ana and Christian did, leave the lights on, keep your eyes open, focus on your partner, and let your mind and body follow the wave of arousal you feel. And, just as they did, you might find that new layer of sexual arousal you never dreamed of.
MARCI HIRSCH is Vice President of Vivid Entertainment, the world’s leading adult film studio, where she heads up production, licensing, and international sales. The second generation of her family to work in the adult industry, Marci lives in Southern California with her two sons.
JENNIFER SANZO
The Byronic Hero Archetype and Christian Grey
Why America’s Favorite Sadist Is Nothing New
YOU KNOW THE TYPE: powerful, mysterious, brooding, and unbelievably sexy. He is the reason you watch period dramas even though you have no interest in literature or history. He’s the brilliant, cynical bad boy with a heart of gold—seemingly unobtainable, yet flawed just enough to make you think you stand a chance. In literature, he is referred to as the Byronic hero, and much to the dismay of feminists everywhere, women have been lusting over him for centuries. Now joining the ranks of literature’s sexiest protagonists is Christian Grey, the beautiful, twitchy-palmed control freak who has captured our hearts and excited other parts of our anatomy.
If you have a pulse, you have heard about the Fifty Shades trilogy and America’s favorite sadist, Christian Grey. I am a stay-at-home mom, and this series has become the topic of conversation at every playground, story time, and ice cream social from Rochester (where I live) to Timbuktu (assumption not based in fact). Last I checked there were over 1,000 people on the waiting list for Fifty Shades of Grey at my library alone. So, what is all the
fuss about? Why have so many women fallen in love with Christian Grey? Why the overwhelming obsession?
Honestly, it is nothing new. Christian Grey joins the company of some of literature’s most famous panty-droppers, including Mr. Rochester in Jane Eyre, Gone with the Wind’s Rhett Butler, Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights, and The Count of Monte Cristo’s Edmund Dantes. Christian Grey is Mr. Darcy with a darker past, a few more scars, and a more extensive sex toy collection. He’s the Rhett Butler who gets the girl. He’s a modern-day Heathcliff, sharing the crappy childhood but maintaining more self-control, less self-indulgence, and sparing us the ghost of his dead girlfriend. Think of Fifty Shades as your favorite epic romance with a touch of BDSM. With Christian Grey, E. L. James gives us the modern manifestation of the Byronic hero archetype—only this time the reader gets to know him more intimately than ever before. His allure is rooted in the qualities we have always been drawn to in our darkest romantic heroes, but now we get to go to bed with him (a lot), and women (myself included) just can’t get enough.
So, what makes a hero “Byronic” and how does Christian Grey measure up?
Originating with Lord Byron’s Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage, the term “Byronic hero” is defined by the Oxford Dictionary of Literary Terms as a “boldly defiant but bitterly self-tormenting outcast, proudly contemptuous of social norms but suffering from some unnamed sin.” In other words, he’s a sexy badass who might have a chip on his shoulder, but is naughty in all the right ways.
Classically, this type of character possesses similar physical attributes. At first glance, the Byronic hero is utter perfection. He is usually handsome and sexually attractive, seductive, mysterious, and charismatic. He is physically powerful and has a commanding presence. When we first meet Christian Grey, protagonist Anastasia Steele describes him as “tall, dressed in a fine gray suit, white shirt, and black tie with unruly dark copper-colored hair and intense, bright gray eyes.” Much of Ana’s inner monologue is devoted to obsessing over his beauty, how good he smells, and his overall physical perfection. In a nutshell: this guy is hot.
In addition to physical beauty, these characters tend to be worldly and cultured, arrogant yet charming. Think: Christian Bale in American Psycho, without the chainsaw and psychopathic tendencies. Christian Grey drinks the best wine and orders the most expensive champagne. He knows his gin; he has cucumber in his Hendricks and lime in his Bombay. He is a brilliant piano player who speaks fluent French and quotes Antoine de Saint-Exupery. A pilot, a sailor, an opera enthusiast, he is the epitome of sophistication.
The Byronic hero also fits a certain intellectual persona. Since he is perceptive, intelligent, and enlivened by a good challenge, he often partakes in witty banter, which is aptly demonstrated by Ana and Christian’s email exchanges. Determined, capable, and bright, these men are typically wealthy and successful. In Christian’s case, he’s a twenty-seven-year-old CEO who makes about $100,000 an hour. Helicopter and a private jet? Homes in Aspen and New York? A fifty-foot sailboat named after his adoptive mother? He has all these things and more. He tells Ana that he wants to lavish money on her: “I could buy you your heart’s desire, Anastasia, and I want to.” Just in case I’ve lost you, let’s recap. Drop-dead gorgeous sex god? Check. Ridiculously wealthy? Check. And he wants to take her on a shopping spree with his black Amex. Are you swooning yet?
Ah, but there is a catch: beneath his physical perfection, sophistication, and wealth lies a complicated emotional persona. Christian, our self-proclaimed “dark knight,” has perfected the art of brooding. Like his fictional counterparts, he can be solitary, moody, aloof, and distant. His self-critical and self-deprecating tendencies can escalate to self-loathing if not kept in check. He can be obsessive and controlling to the point of suffocation.
A few minutes into their first meeting Ana calls him a “control freak,” to which he responds: “Oh, I exercise control in all things, Miss Steele.” He likes to be in charge and his penchant for social and sexual dominance allows him to use sex as a weapon. Repeatedly described as “mercurial,” Christian Grey is a “mass of contradictions.” He is strong, yet fragile, presenting himself as the quintessential alpha male only in an effort to mask his vulnerability. At times he is uptight, selfish, and depressive; at others, carefree and playful. Christian’s moods change so frequently that Ana actually Googles “multiple personality disorder”! It does not get much more confusing or frustrating than being in a relationship with a Byronic hero.
Sure, Christian Grey is conflicted, cynical, and at times quite unreasonable, but like many of the Byronic heroes who came before him, underneath his tough exterior are glimpses of his integrity and soul. Deep down he is a good man. He has a heart for philanthropy and dedicates much of his time and creative energy to feeding the world’s poor and developing technologies to better life in the Third World. However, unlike many of his Byronic predecessors, Christian recognizes his shortcomings and is well aware of his baggage. In this respect, he is a more evolved version of the Byronic hero. He is drawn to goodness and even though he struggles with integrity, he wants to do the right thing. He warns Ana, “You should steer clear of me. I’m not the man for you.” He marvels at her innocence and doesn’t want to taint it, yet he finds himself “like a moth to a flame.” The feeling is mutual. Ana expresses on numerous occasions that she fears she is “Icarus flying too close to the sun,” but no matter how hard she tries, she cannot resist “poor, fucked-up, kinky, philanthropic Christian.”
These emotional discrepancies result from yet another factor that Byronic heroes have in common: they are haunted, tortured souls who wrestle with demons from their past. In Christian’s case those demons would include being raised by a “crack whore” mother, beaten by her pimp, and left alone with her dead body for four days, scared and hungry, at the age of four. Oh, and one of his adoptive mother’s friends seduced him at fifteen and turned him into her BDSM boy toy. In turn he has learned to channel his anger by beating and having sex with girls who look like his birth mother. Super healthy, I know. “Paging Dr. Flynn!” So, in other words (Ana’s inner goddess’, to be exact) he “has a 747 cargo hold’s worth of baggage,” including a suicidal, gun-toting ex. (That being said, I would take Christian’s mommy issues over Mr. Rochester’s crazy, pyromaniac wife in the attic any day!)
Despite his beauty, intelligence, wealth, and power, the Byronic hero’s emotional baggage would prove too much for most women to handle. Is it any wonder that Ana, our heroine and Christian’s love interest, is a dewy-eyed literature major? Who better to fall for our Byronic friend than someone who has spent her entire life in love with his fictional counterparts? She even looks to her favorite romantic heroines for guidance: “Elizabeth Bennet would be outraged, Jane Eyre too frightened, and Tess would succumb, just as I have.” Christian and Ana are a perfect illustration of opposites attracting. Fifty Shades tells a tale as old as time: beauty tames the (sexy) beast; only a true innocent can unlock the Byronic hero’s heart.
What is it about the Byronic hero that certain women can’t resist?
Even Ana, our Austen-loving, Brontë-reading, Hardy-quoting protagonist, has trouble putting her finger on it: “No man has ever affected me the way Christian Grey has, and I cannot fathom why. Is it his looks? His civility? Wealth? Power? I don’t understand my irrational reaction.” Right now millions of housewives are questioning their own reactions (irrational or otherwise) to Christian Grey. Why do we love this guy so much? The answer is simple: we love him for all the reasons we have always loved our Byronic heroes.
Perhaps the most obvious trait we fall for is how ardently they love and adore their women. Byronic heroes say romantic things like: “If he loved you with all the power of his soul for a whole lifetime, he couldn’t love you as much as I do in a single day” (Heathcliff, Wuthering Heights). And this: “You have bewitched me, body and soul” (Mr. Darcy, Pride and Prejudice). And this: “You are exquisite, honest, warm, strong, witty, beguilingly innocent; the lis
t is endless. I am in awe of you. I want you, and the thought of anyone else having you is like a knife twisting in my dark soul” (Christian Grey, Fifty Shades Darker). I mean, come on! That’s some good stuff! These men are passionate in their work, their causes, and their relationships. They are not afraid to tell you that you are beautiful and make no secret of how much they love you; they shout it from the rooftops. When Christian pays $100,000 for a dance with Ana at the Coping Together benefit, I couldn’t help but be reminded of a similar scene in Gone with the Wind when Rhett exclaims, “Mrs. Charles Hamilton—one hundred and fifty dollars … in gold.” How could you not fall for these rebels who will sweep you off your feet at any cost regardless of who they shock in the process?
In addition to being natural-born romantics, Byronic heroes are great listeners and are attentive to their lady’s needs. They recognize that women want someone to take care of them. From the beginning, despite his stalker-esque tendencies, Christian makes Ana feel safe and protected. These guys pay attention. After one coffee date, Christian knows how Ana takes her tea, what size she wears, and that the key to her heart lies in a first edition of Tess of the d’Urbervilles. When she is hung over, he is there waiting with orange juice and two Advil. She’s feeling naughty; he’s got Ben Wa balls for her to wear to a black tie charity gala at his parents’ home. Job security? He buys her a publishing company. Clothes? Personal shopper. Unsafe car? Have this Audi. Your Audi got trashed by my psycho ex? Here’s a Saab. Like to read? How about the entire British Library on an iPad? Her wish is his command.
These characters give their women all they ever wanted and expose them to things they never even knew existed. Ana says, “It makes me feel powerful, strong, desired, and loved—loved by this captivating, complicated man whom I love in return with all my heart.” Isn’t that what we, as women, long for? To be pursued and desired? To find someone to love and cherish us? Women have always wanted honest, trusting, and committed relationships, and now we are thinking we would also like a playroom with a “soft-boudoir Elizabethan-torture setup.” What better testament of trust than letting your boyfriend tie you up when you know his butt plug collection is vast enough to encompass an entire bureau? Implicit trust, giving yourself over—mind, body, and soul—to someone else … well, it doesn’t get much hotter than that. We crave that level of ultimate intimacy; the mind-blowing, kinky sex is just an added bonus.
