“He loved you, too. And so did I. Never seeing you again was hard on all of us.” I blinked a tear away. “I have three more of those you know.” I said pointing to the neon green journal.
“My crush on you got worse when you never came back. There was a boy in my sixth grade science class that looked a lot like you. The day it came to finding science partners I paired up with him. Turned out he was mean as sin but I quickly found that as long as he didn’t talk I could sit next to him and pretend he was you. It was completely silly but it made junior high a lot more tolerable.”
Julian laughed out loud and put his arm around my shoulder. “Can I keep this?” he asked.
I shrugged, “Yeah, you can keep it. Most of what is in it is about you anyway.”
He smiled and leaned in for a kiss which I happily returned.
Brea came home around dinner time, we ordered Chinese delivery and put in a movie Brea had picked up from the Redbox before heading home. I could tell Julian wasn’t particularly fond of sitting through Nicholas Spark’s Safe Haven but he never once complained. Half way through the movie once our stomachs were full of egg rolls, crab Rangoon and Sesame chicken I cuddled up next to Julian on the couch. My body molded perfectly to his as if we were made for each other. I had not felt so contented, safe and ME in a very long time.
Chapter Nine
Julian
Jemma was back in my arms, sleeping like a baby which was exactly where she was meant to be. Nothing in my life had ever felt as right as it did when I held her. She was so absolutely beautiful! I couldn’t concentrate on the cheesy movie being played out on the television because all I wanted to do was look at her. I wanted nothing more than to sweep her up into my arms, carry her to her bed, rip her clothes off and bury myself deep inside of her but I had to restrain myself. Especially with Brea shooting me knowing looks from the arm chair.
“She can’t have sex with you. Did she tell you that yet?”
“No, but I don’t see how that is something you get to decide. And where did that come from I wasn’t even considering it, we need some time. ”
“Yeah, uh huh, I am a lot of things but blind and stupid is not one of them. You were so obviously fucking her in that head of yours. Can’t say I blame you, you would be an idiot not to want her but you need to know that according to Brandon the doc says that part of her new plan is NO SEX of any kind. Not even Clinton style.”
I arched an eye brow up at her strange remark. What the heck was Clinton style?
“Clinton style?”
“You know, I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Clinton style. No touching, no nothing. I am surprised she hasn’t told you especially since I know for a fact that it takes every inch of restraint she has not to rip your clothes off.”
Does it now? “Has she told you that? How long is this plan supposed to play out?”
“Sixty days. And she doesn’t have to tell me, I can see it, it is painfully obvious. Not to mention the fact that if I had a good looking guy like you knocking down my door I would take you anywhere at any time. She and I might have our differences but in that respect we are exactly the same.”
I moved my eyes from Brea down to the sleeping beauty lying in my arms. How was I going to last sixty days without touching her? Could a man live sixty days without food or drink? If what Brea said was true then we were both going to be suffering through this little pact of hers.
When the credits began to roll I put Jemma’s arm around my neck and carried her to bed. I searched her drawers for something more comfortable, finding a nightgown; I pulled her pants from her body leaving her tiny pink panties with a little bow safely in place. Unfortunately the sight of her treasure sent a heat wave through my body which caused the need to shift the suddenly hardened package in my jeans. Taking a deep breath I continued, unbuttoning her shirt, sliding it off of her arms and gently lifting her up to slide the short t-shirt gown over her head.
My body stiffened upon hearing her sleepy voice quiver out my name. Her arm shot up in her sleep, trailed down my bicep, sliding over my chest and down to the heavy bulge in my pants. It took everything I had in me not to unzip them and release my shaft into her hands, something she seemed to be demanding even in her dreams. The idea that she was dreaming of being with me again nearly made me come on demand.
I laid her down under the covers and excused myself into the bathroom to relieve the ache in my pants. There was no way I was leaving her but at the same time there was no way I could lay next to her with a hard on that nearly shot my dick off like a rocket after two strokes. The next sixty days were going to be a nightmare!
Chapter Ten
Jemma
I awakened to Julian’s breath between my breasts, his face buried into my chest while he held onto my body for dear life. There was so much heat radiating between the two of us that it was causing sweat to pool in the crook of my neck but I was scared to move. All I could see was the top of his head but I knew that if I could see his face I would find peace written all over it because peaceful was exactly how I felt. But the need to move away became far too necessary when I found that each breath lit the fire between my legs more and more. I tried inching away but his grip got tighter, crushing my body beneath him.
“No!” he softly cried out.
I tried a different approach, wiggling my hips and legs to glide upward but I only made it a little bit of the way before his grip tightened to the point of pain. When I realized where his face was now buried I nearly had a heart attack. His breathing intensified with every move I made and the next thing I knew his lips were placing tiny kisses on the little pink bow of my lace panties. My eyes rolled back into my head and I gripped the blanket as tight as I could without hurting myself as his mouth moved softly over the delicate cotton coverings.
Did it count as heavy petting if one of us was asleep?
Julian’s hands reached up, grabbed hold and ripped the panties from my body causing the flames burn all the way into the pit of my stomach. I could feel my nipples harden under my bra and even though I knew I wasn’t supposed to be allowing it I could not stop Julian from parting my lips and rolling his tongue across my sensitive engorged heat.
“Julian!” I screamed.
The moment his name rolled off of my lips he jumped up off the bed denying me more of what my body was begging for.
“Holy shit sweetheart!”
His hands went through his hair and I guessed that someone mentioned the pact that I made with Dr. Schneider, no doubt Brea. Given the state of my body at the moment I wasn’t sure whether I should be thanking her or ringing her pretty little neck. What I was sure of was that I had to finish what he had started, there was no way I could spend the rest of the day with a painful ache between my legs.
Without thinking I slowly moved my hands down between my legs and began to softly massage the tender space between my wet lips. I looked to Julian, who appeared mesmerized by the turn of events, pleading with him to take his pants off and willing him not to touch me. Nowhere in my agreement with Dr. Schneider was there anything that said masturbation was off limits and something about watching Julian let go right along with me fueled my desire.
“Stroke yourself Julian.” I begged. He sat down next to me in the bed and began to run his hands up and down his hard shaft.
I imagined his hands were the walls of my desire which caused my touch to become more desperate. I wanted to taste him, to know what his wetness tasted like on my tongue. Suddenly I was filled regret about never having taken him to completion in my mouth. My tongue rolled around my lips while my free hand moved up to pinch my swollen nipples. Both of our gazes moved back and forth between our eyes and the heat between each of our legs until our bodies reached their peak and released the pressure mounting inside while softly crying out each others names.
“My God, sweetheart! You are going to be the death of me.”
Feeling adventurous I smiled at him and decided it was time to solve a qu
estion that had been weighing on me since the moment I saw his hard shaft pop free from his pants. I sat up and scooted next to him on the bed. I placed a few kissed on his lips and reached down for his hands that were resting atop his semi erect penis. I put his stroking hand to my face which was wet with his essence and carefully began to lick the salty liquid from his fingertips one by one.
My eyes never left his but I knew just a few inches away his cock was getting hard again with ease tease of my tongue. The liquid was sweet and salty, it tasted like candy and I needed as much of it as I could get. His breathing was loud, he was panting and I could see he was having trouble breathing. But still I continued until he was licked clean. I leaned in and pressed one simple soft kiss on his lips.
“Don’t die on me yet sweetheart.”
I licked and sucked on the end of his ear sending a shiver down his arm. What exactly constitutes “heavy petting”? Note to self, next visit with the good doctor request clarification.
“Sixty days until I have your cock in my mouth. I will suck you dry after you have fucked me to the point that I am rubbed completely raw.” I whispered into his ear.
A wave of success came over me as I stepped up off the bed and climbed into the shower locking the door behind me. I abandoned him sitting on my bed, mouth agape holding his erect staff in his hands.
The next few weeks went by in a blur. Julian started back to school and I had managed to find a job serving coffee alongside Rebecca at Coffee Bean. She felt bad about what had happened between Cole and Brea so she put in a good word for me and I was hired the second a position opened up. She had no clue that she was the “other” woman until Brea showed up one day and threw an entire carafe of half and half in her face screaming a bunch of nonsense about “stealing her man”. I was still in shock over the fact that she ever considered that moron to be anything other than a play toy in the first place.
If I had been Rebecca I would have been livid about the incident especially because as it turns out, she had been dating Cole for the past two years and wore his engagement ring on her ring finger to prove it. But she was pretty cool about it once the initial shock of being drowned in cold milk eased up a bit and we have all been pretty copacetic ever since. Needless to say she kicked Cole to the curb, quite literally.
It was hard not seeing Julian, some days he was so busy between classes, homework and his own job at the auto parts store that we didn’t have a chance to actually see one another. At times I wished I had not been so lax in high school so we could at least see each other on campus in between classes. Not that it would have mattered much considering I had to put everything off until next semester in order to get my head straight.
We would go out on the weekends, usually for nothing but food and conversation. We learned quickly that movies were off limits since we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other in the dark of a cold movie theater. We could not drink because the alcohol would cloud our judgment and if he stayed at my place we slept together with the door wide open. Brea’s idea, of course.
Feeling guilty and unsure after our second private play session early the next morning I decided to confront Dr. Schneider and ask him to define his idea of heavy petting. He pretty much shot down all hope of anything that could possibly lead into something more satisfying. Basically, if we were together it was hands off, even if those hands were our own hands violating our own personal space. I am glad I did not wait until my next appointment because I had already failed pretty miserably. It was probably a good thing we rarely got to see one another. It was getting to the point where every time I looked at him he was naked, no matter how many layers there were between us.
Brandon and I had also made up, not that I had anything to make up for really. But I did feel bad that Brandon had to witness the emotional connection between Julian and I in such an ‘in your face’ way. Even though it was unintentional he didn’t deserve to have my relationship with Julian rubbed in his face. I called him the day after he left to make sure he got home safely and was pleasantly surprised when he answered the phone after he first ring.
“Hi, Jem,” he said.
I could hear the sadness in his voice and wanted so much to be able to take the pain away from him but there was nothing I could do or say that would make things any easier. There was no take backs this time and he knew it. I apologized to Brandon for what he saw on the couch.
“Bab.....Jemma...”
He stopped himself from calling me his baby and my heart stopped at the realization that I would never again be his “baby”. He had been calling me that since the end of our second date, I loved hearing him say it because it made him seem real to me. There was always a certain reassurance with the term that told me Brandon was truly mine, it also served as a reminder that I was his.
“I tried to say goodbye to us when I moved to New York but when I came to see you and I saw the way your face lit up when you saw me, I had hope again. But then I had the unfortunate chance at witnessing the connection between you and him, how drawn the two of you were to each other, I realized I couldn’t keep the blinders on anymore.”
“Brandon...”
“No Jem.” He interrupted. “Just don’t, please don’t. Don’t try to play it down, not that I give a shit but he doesn’t deserve for you to play down the feelings you have for him. I know what I saw, I saw MY GIRL giving away something I had been trying to get from her for four years with zero success. I saw my girl giving her heart away; maybe she had already given it to him. Maybe all this time she had no heart to give back to me and I just never fuckin’ noticed.”
“But you do have my heart Brandon; you will always have a piece of it.” And I meant every word.
“I have a place in your heart; I don’t have your heart, huge difference. Don’t worry Jemma, I’m a big boy, I’m going to be fine. If I know that you are happy, I will be fine. Look, I gotta go, call me Friday. It’s hard to give you the time that you need during the week and I have no class on Friday. I love you, I promise, I do.”
“I love you too Brandon.”
And with that we hung up. I no longer knew what the future had in store for me and Brandon but it gave me hope to know that we had a date to talk. We had been through so much together, he knew some of my deepest darkest secrets and there was no way I was going to lose him.
I made the call from my room all while Julian sat in front of the television watching The Fast and the Furious, it was just my luck that he stepped in to hear the butt end of the conversation.
“Movie ended,” he mumbled leaning up against the door jam. I could sense the quiet sadness emitting off of him.
“I do love him, Julian. I’m sorry if hearing it hurt you but I do.”
Julian nodded his head and walked over to me lifting me off of my bed and putting his arms around me. “I get it. Don’t apologize for your feelings.”
I smiled.
“You know, Brandon said the same thing to me about you.” His eye brow lifted.
“You told him you loved me?”
“I didn’t have to tell him.” I responded.
I had never told Julian I loved the man he has become. In part because of the fact that he was someone I had only recently come to know, it sounded so silly to me, but also because I was afraid to tell him. I did love Brandon, but I was starting to become more and more aware of the fact that I was completely and wholeheartedly madly in love with Julian.
Julian placed a soft kiss on my lips, careful not to put any pressure, then quickly pulled away. We both knew what happened when we opened our mouths and got lost in one another.
“Sweetheart, I do get it. He was there for you when you had no one.....” He paused thoughtfully.
“He might have been your yesterday, but I was your when, I am your now and no matter what it takes, even if it kills me, I will be your future.”
I let out the breath I was unaware that I was holding in and threw my arms around Julian’s neck holding him with all of my might.
He wanted a future with me, a future that I could plainly see. I had never pictured myself growing old with anyone before, everyone in my life left me therefore it was decided that there were no tomorrows. I lived every day for only that day because I knew all too well that planning your future could easily end up leading to misery.
“I love you, Julian.” I whispered into his neck.
He tightened his grip around my waist pulling me closer and held me for several moments before pulling away. He briefly looked into my eyes and returned the words back to me.
“I love you to Jemma Hale, always have, and always will.”
What I would not have done to have been able to rip his clothes off right then and there. It just seemed wrong to declare our love to one another and not end up a naked tangled mess of pure pleasure. A girl can dream! And dream...and dream...and dream. Five more weeks.
Chapter Eleven
“So what time is Julian and his friend supposed to be here? You haven’t given me a definitive time yet which kind of fucking sucks balls,” Brea said.
Julian had called me a few days ago to let me know that he had a friend coming in from San Juan for a few weeks. He had wanted to spend time with him but since we were both desperate to spend time together he didn’t want to lose the entire weekend with me either. Together we came up with the idea of setting him and Brea up on a double date. She had become a real homebody since her classes started and when she didn’t have her face buried in a text book she just moped around the house eating, sleeping and driving Julian and I absolutely nuts. She lectured me nonstop and insisted on being present every time he was here. To say that I was starting to feel a little suffocated by my best friend would be an understatement. Her non stop mother hen routine made me want to strangle her.
The Boy Who Knew Me When (From Boys to men Trilogy) Page 11
