Her tone became urgent and I was having even more troubling understanding why she was behaving the way she was.
“Honey, I love you, but I am seriously have a hard time following here. You love him, he loves you too, even Julian says so. Jonathan told him that he was in love with you.”
And then she screamed and what was just sadness turned into total anguish. The tears she poured were thick, heavy tears and I didn’t know what to do to help her. Her heart was breaking more and more with each tear and I couldn’t wrap my head around it.
“Please Brea, please talk to me.” I pleaded, doing everything I could to hold back my own tears. Her pain was my pain. I could not bear to watch her fall apart.
Though they were still falling like heavy rain she wiped he tears away with the palms of her hands.
“Jem...” she cried barely able to say my name. I looked at her reassuringly, begging her once again to please speak to me.
“I love him so I had to tell him Jemma, I had to and when he found out he left me, he didn’t say a single word, his face said everything I couldn’t bear to hear him say.”
“What did you have to tell him Brea?”
“I...” she gulped. “I’m pregnant!” She screamed the words at me just before losing control all over again.
“What? That son of a bitch!” I shrieked. Needless to say, I was pissed. “What kind of a man leaves a woman after she tells him she is going to have his baby?”
And then Brea stopped sobbing, her tears became silent but they continued to fall. In slow motion I watched the change in her face and as her head began to move side to side I knew what had made Jonathan walk away because for a split second that was all that I wanted to do.
“How long have you known Brea?”
“A few weeks.”
“The baby is not Jonathans?”
“No Jem...” The pitiful look in her eyes said everything I needed to know. “It isn't Jonathans.”
I was not OK with the information my friend was relaying to me but at least for once in my life I did not feel like crying. I maintained all composure, somehow hoping that everything I was hearing was a lie even though I knew that there was no way it could be.
“Brandon knows?”
“Yes.”
“Is that why he was upset about Jonathan?” Brea bopped her head. “It was just sex, I get that you are pregnant with his child but why would he be mad about Jonathan Brea?”
“Because it wasn’t just sex, Jemma. Brandon doesn’t do just sex and I would never just have sex with Brandon.” She paused for a moment to choose her next words. “He asked me to marry him when I told him about the baby Jem. I said no, of course.”
“Oh but of course you did!” I replied sarcastically.
“Jemma, please!” She begged. “Jem, do you think I want to be pregnant with my best friend’s ex-boyfriends baby? I feel like I am living in a fucking Jerry Springer episode! And what makes it worse is that I am nothing but your fucking shadow. My baby daddy has been dreaming of what your two little bouncing bundles of perfection would look like since he was fourteen. How the fuck could I ever compete with you when it comes to Brandon?”
Brea jumped up off the bed and began to pace the room.
“Are you saying you wanted to say yes?”
Her pacing halted and turned to me.
“The truth?” I nodded. “The truth is that I have been dreaming of my wedding since I was fourteen years old. I know that we have never talked about it, we haven’t because my dream was a dream and that is all that it was. But the dream always included Brandon.”
“When he began spewing at me a bunch of crap about ‘doing the right thing’ by me I wanted to jump through hoops to let him. But there was just no way that I am a ‘do the right thing’ kind of girl. Before Jonathan I thought I was going to have to live the rest of my life pining for someone I could never have because I didn’t think it was possible to love someone so much twice.”
“And now Brea, what do you want now?”
“I want Jonathan to walk through that door, throw me over his arms like a caveman and tell me that it doesn’t matter.”
I stood from the bed trying to process the information being thrown at me. To say that I was overwhelmed by the nonstop turn of events the last few days would be an understatement. Between my father’s bomb dropping, finding out about Brea and Brandon, then finding out about Brea, Brandon and their unborn child I felt like my head was going to explode. How much more could I take?
On top of everything, I needed Julian and Julian was probably sleeping like a baby completely unaware of anything but the fact that I just might be joining Brea in baby bliss. It was then that I too became aware!
“I don’t know what to say Brea.”
“Say you forgive me. Say you will be here for me. Don’t hate me because I need my best friend.”
I took a deep breath and looked hard at Brea not really sure that I could answer those questions but I did anyway.
“I forgive you and even though this is REALLY, really weirding me out right now I am not going anywhere. I am here as long as you need me.”
As the words came out of my mouth I knew that I meant them. Brea threw her arms around my neck, she apologized, thanked me, cried a bit, told me she loved me and thanked me some more before pulling away.
“Oh my God Jemma, all this time and I completely forgot about your dad. How did the visit go?”
I cringed at the thought of reliving the news that came with visiting my father for the first time in seven years but I knew I wouldn’t be able to leave my friend in the dark. I spent the next half an hour recounting the events of my visit. She would stop me every once in a while to gasp or ask for some kind of clarification when she wasn’t quite sure she heard me right.
“So what happens now?” She asked.
“I guess I have to figure out some way to get him out of this mess. I figured perhaps speak to his lawyer or go straight to the DA, I honestly have no idea.”
“What about Brandon?”
Confused and almost defensive I ask, “What about him?”
“Besides the fact that he chose to attend a college with one of the top law schools in the country and has probably met tons of people that could help there is that little fact that his dad is one of the top prosecutors in central Texas. Don’t get all defensive, sheesh!”
I don’t know why asking Brandon for help had never crossed my mind. I guess I had been just as angry at him as I was at Brea and I had temporarily erased all thought of him out of my head.
“Oh, well there is that!” I joked.
We both laughed and decided to head into the kitchen for something to drink. I took a seat at the bar and Brea popped the cap on two bottled cokes setting one in front of me and taking a drink from the one in her hands before she let out a high pitched “OH MY GAWD!” and grabbed my hand.
“I am such a fucking bitch Jemma! I completely forgot Julian was proposing!”
How the hell did she know?
“You knew?”
“Um, I might have noticed the larger than normal bulge in his pants at one point and cornered him. I see you said yes, you cow! You could have called to tell me you know, it would have sure made the last 24 hours go over a little bit better.”
I smiled guiltily. “Besides the fact that I thought you were pissed at me for....”
“For calling me a whore?”
I cringed and shrugged my shoulders. “For that, but you called me one too so we are even. As I was saying, Julian and I might have been a little too preoccupied to call anyone.”
“You didn’t? What happened to waiting Jem?”
“Fuck it, I got tired of waiting, I have never wanted anything so bad in my life. Though, after over two handfuls of orgasms I might be willing to let Julian suffer every once in a while if it awards me a repeat performance.”
“TWO HANDFULS? Wow babe, you really are a slut!”
I threw a potholder at Brea then w
e both curled over with laughter. After calling in Pho delivery, the two of us ended up spending the evening in front of the TV watching Meet Joe Black. If anyone could heal a breakup, it was Brad Pitt in a tuxedo.
The next day it was business as usual. Julian and Brea, who was a lot perkier than the day before, went back to class. Julian had called the night before and I filled him in on the reunion between Brea and I. He wasn’t surprised that we made up but he was surprised about the pregnancy. I was a little unsure about whether or not Brea would want me to tell him about it but I figured Jonathan would end up filling him in eventually. Julian had still not heard a word from Jonathan by then, I was sure he would turn up.
I did not have to work until the afternoon which I knew was when Brandon had his first class so I thought it would be a good time to call him about my father. I dialed the number terrified of having to talk to him about Brea, he didn’t know that I knew about any of it so I figured if I kept my mouth shut we should be able to avoid a very uncomfortable subject.
“Jem” he answered sleepily.
“Hey Brandon, can we talk?”
“I...I’m not sure I want to talk about that right now Jem. It’s just too early.”
So he did know? When did Brea even have a chance to tell him?
“Brandon, I am not sure what you are talking about but I am calling to talk to you about my dad. I went to see him Saturday.” I said pretending to be completely clueless to avoid the drama.
“Oh, yeah...Um, how did it go?”
“Did Brea not tell you?”
“Yeah, she did. Sorry Jem, I just thought it would be nice if you told me instead of having to get everything through her.”
He snapped at me, so in defense I too I snapped back.
“Is that all you are going to apologize for?” I regretted the question before the last word left my mouth.
The line got quiet as if Brandon had completely stopped breathing on the other end.
“I won’t say that I am sorry Jem. She is having my baby, I won’t be sorry for my child. It may not be a child that I had planned but it’s mine. Maybe Brea and I should never have let things go as far as we did but damn it Jemma...Damn it!”
I had not intended to talk about any of this. All I had wanted to do was make a quick phone call to see if Brandon knew anyone who could help me. I was starting to think Brea was right about Jerry Springer because my life was turning into soap opera hell.
“I wanted it to be you, that was supposed to be our baby but you fucked everything up, EVERYTHING! So don’t you dare give me hell about this. I moved on, live with it!”
I would have given anything to hang up the phone right then and there but I could not put the damn thing down. The phone was glued to my hands and ears by invisible super glue.
“Gawd damn mother fucking shit! I cannot do this right now Jemma Lee. I am saying shit I don’t want to be saying and if I don’t hang up this phone you can bet your ass this will be our last phone call.”
He only called me Jemma Lee when he was angry with me.
“Brandon, please don’t yell at me. I should not have mentioned anything.”
“Look, I fucking loved you, I do love you. But Brea, damn it, she has been there for me when I thought I wanted to die. I have said it before and I will say it again, you fucking ripped my gawd damn heart out and Brea was there helping me pick up the pieces, the whole time telling me how much you fucking loved me. And when she came with me to my truck that day, after I realized I would never get you back, something snapped inside of me. I saw her differently, she wasn’t your friend Brea anymore. She was mine. I fucking saw what had been in front of me the entire time I let you trample all over me and I fucking wanted it, so I took it. I made love to her and I am sorry if this hurts you but I fucking made her mine, I don’t regret one damn second of it. And I sure as hell am not sorry. This might make you hate me for the rest of your life, I will hate that you do because I will always love you, but I want her. She is carrying my baby and I fucking want her. Not because my child is growing inside of her but because she was the one who was there when you shit on me. That you might be hurting, that is ALL I will apologize for. Call my dad Jemma, you have the number.”
Brandon has never spoken to me like he was speaking to me now. I wanted to yell at him, to tell him that I hated him because a small part of me truly did. But I couldn’t. What could I say? I had driven the two of them together with my selfishness. Not to mention I was happy. Despite the fact that Brandon’s words hurt, I could honestly say that for the first time in my life I was truly happy. I had Julian, he made me whole again, taking with him all of the pain that I had endured for far too long.
More than anything I wanted someone to do that for Brandon, take away all of the pain that I had caused and there was only one way that it could happen.
“Brandon.” I whispered hoping not to be interrupted.
“What!” He barked.
“If you want her, come and get her.”
I hung up the phone finally giving him away, the boy that I had secretly been holding onto, because he was no longer mine to hold.
After I hung up the phone with Brandon I made one of the hardest calls of my life. I called Brandon’s dad, a man who had cursed the ground I walked on since the day he first found me making out with his son on the family room pool table. OK, so maybe we were not ’just’ making out. I might have been half naked with my head bobbing between his legs. It was safe to say I was not the kind of girl he had imagined his Ivy League son carrying on the family name with.
I would love to be a fly on the wall once he found out his precious was going to father a child with the woman he had once declared “The town mess hall, everyone has had her and nobody wanted to go back for seconds”. The one time she had stepped inside his two and a half story Barbie dream house, he told Brandon right in front of me that he never wanted to see Brea back in his house again because “God only knows what rancid decease she brings with her!”. Yeah, he was going to shit a brick!
“Alexander Hicks speaking.”
The receptionist had put me on hold for fifteen minutes before finally transferring me through.
“Yes, Mr. Hicks, this is Jemma Hayes.”
“I know who you are Miss Hayes, what can I do for you?”
I could tell how annoyed he was with me for calling him but I had to suffer through for my father. Alexander Hicks was one of the best criminal prosecutors in the state, if he couldn’t help me nobody could.
“It’s about my father sir.” I paused.
“Go on, I don’t have all day Jemma.”
I let out a breath and filled him in on everything. By the end of the conversation his demeanor had changed and gone from slightly annoyed to in the zone, with him agreeing to meet with me during his lunch hour the next day.
By the time my shift ended at The Coffee Bean I was ready call it all in. I didn’t think anything could possibly get worse in the ridiculous soap opera life I was now living but it did. Half way through my shift Heather walked in. I had not seen her since the day she strolled into the Omega party with Julian and I had high hopes never to lay eyes on her again. Unfortunately for me, I seemed to be living in Crazyville with no way in sight for escape. All I could do was pray that she didn’t recognize me so I put on my brightest smile and pretended to be completely clueless.
“Welcome to Coffee Bean, how can I help you?”
Heather thoughtfully considered her choices, glancing back and forth between the menu on the wall behind me, to me directly.
“I will have a non fat decaf Ice blended Mocha, no cream.”
“That will be $4.23 cents please.”
She pulled out a five dollar bill and passed it my way.
“Hey...” She pulled the money away. DAMN IT, couldn’t she just pay and go?
“Aren’t you that girl Julian was all hung up on?”
I sighed. “That would be me. Though there is no was about it.”
“Oh
, I see, so you two never dated? Isn’t that just like a man, they decide they want a roll in the hay and end up turning it into something that it isn’t. They say girls are bad, but really men are so much worse.”
I honestly wanted to slap her.
“No, I mean he is still hung up on me. We are dating, actually we just got back from a romantic trip to the beach.” You stupid, too hot for your own shit, bitch!
“Hm, that’s interesting, I spent the morning with him and he never mentioned you or the beach. He was just his usual sexy hot self.”
I swear on my life this woman is going to lose an entire head of hair if she does not leave and I mean now. I can feel the heat flowing into my cheeks and I am sure that at any moment steam began to steep out of my ears.
“Can you please pay me for your drink so that we can make it and you can gag on it?” I blurt out.
I hear Rebecca stifle a laugh behind me, failing miserably to hold the entire thing in.
“Jemma” she giggles. “Um, we are out of mocha mix; think you can go grab some? I will man the register.”
How the heck did Brea ever hate this girl? Right now I loved her so much I would almost be willing to make out with her right here and now. I did not need this crap, I did not need some spoiled little brat coming along and making everything in my life worse than it already was. If I had to stay in the room with her one more second I was seriously going knock her right on her fat Puerto Rican ass. I took in a deep breath, gave Heather one final glare and stormed off into the store room.
How dare Heather bring her scrawny butt into my place of business and behave like my man gave a flying fuck about her. I knew what Julian and I had, I knew what we always had and it was a thousand times more than anything she would ever dream of having with him. We belonged to each other. I was going to be his wife. I looked down to the ring on my hand. And he was going to be my husband.
The Boy Who Knew Me When (From Boys to men Trilogy) Page 17
