“Wyatt said that Caleb is asking about you constantly. Have you talked to him? I know it is not a priority at all and it shouldn’t be, but I didn't know if you…”
“I have talked to him a few times. He is sweet but I don't think I could handle it. You know, almost too sweet.”
“I didn't know that was a such thing.”
I rolled my eyes. “You know how Wyatt is so sweet to you and it makes me almost want to gag? I couldn't handle that all the time. I mean it’s great for you two. You love it, he loves it, but I’m not that type of girl.”
“I know you aren't. Well, when you have time let him down nicely so he will stop asking Wyatt. He is getting annoyed with him.”
“I will.”
“I love you, girl. I’m going to get going. Virginia is watching Olivia for just a couple hours and I’ve got to get to the store.”
“Love you. I’ll call you tonight and let you know how it goes. Hopefully we can celebrate the account soon.”
“I’d love that,” Breigh said.
She walked toward the door and I to my desk. I was actually feeling a little better after a sweet breakfast, okay, second breakfast and some more coffee.
“And, Emma… for what it is worth, Cash is in love with you. He isn’t going anywhere; he is waiting for you. And y’all’s baby.”
The door shut and I sat down staring out the window. Why is everything so complicated when I needed it the least?
And why did I know in my heart that I was in love with him too. I had never stopped being…
25
CASH
CASH: Beautiful, thanks for the dances at Kelleye Joe’s.
I am not lost on the coincidence, that is where we met, and the first time I had seen you. I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I still think that. I kept running over and over in my head about how the child in your stomach is mine.
There is no other person on earth I would be prouder to have as the mother of my child. Anyway, I am thinking of you and I know you need your space. If you want to reach out, I am here. If not, I will see you when I see you, but I will be thinking of you.
Yours always, Cash.
I used to always laugh when I saw Wyatt gush over Breigh. He had always been the romantic, clearly something he learned from my mother or maybe our uncle. He was always so sweet with our aunt, Rhonda. I sure didn't get that gene, but with Emma it came easily. Maybe I just didn't let myself be that way earlier.
God only knows.
Today Mom and I were meeting with some investors to try to figure out how we could get the money paid back to all the people that my dear father screwed. That’s what my grandfather would have wanted. Mom had brought me up to speed on so much and I felt like a fool. It was right under my nose and I didn't even know it. My mother was one smart cookie.
Not only was she able to help find jobs for several of the employees, she also had been in constant touch with a lot of the long-term ones. She knew a lot of them and felt bad for them, just like I did.
The one person I looked up to for so long was a complete scumbag. That hurt. I gave up a lot of my life working with him, thinking I was doing something worthwhile, even if I was a douchebag while doing it.
Wyatt had pointed out that I was working for Dad, but I was working for me too. I couldn’t blame it all on my father, and after thinking it over, he was right.
“You can’t go backwards. Only make what you have now right.” Sometimes my mom sounded just like my aunt, Rhonda. I guess that makes sense with them being sisters. I wished Rhonda could see the changes I was trying to make. She never did think much of me, but I couldn’t blame her. I thought good enough of me for everyone.
Emma: Thank you for your text. I know you’re trying and I wish nothing but good things for you. I had fun at Kelleye Joe’s too. I remember the first night I met you like it was yesterday. I had a feeling you would be the man who would be in my life for the rest of my days. Foolish thinking, I guess.
There was just something about you. I remember telling Breigh that and her telling me I was crazy. She probably still thinks that with a lot of things I say. I’ll be in touch soon.
Well at least she answered me, now that was a start. A beginning I could deal with. As if I was given a choice.
EMMA
“I got it! I got it!” I practically screamed with excitement to my father on the phone.
“I knew you would,” he said, just like he had so many times throughout my life.
“I’ll tell you though, I was a nervous wreck. It has been crazy lately.”
“You’re like me, I work better when under a lot of pressure.”
“This is a huge plus in my career. H-U-G-E!”
“You earned it yourself. I’m so very proud of you.”
“Thanks, Dad. I needed this.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes, I just well… I’m sick of working so much. I love my job, and will continue to love it, but I need to pull back some. There is too much to live for.”
“Life goes by too fast. I hate I spent so much time working when I could have been spending time with my girls.”
He always said that when he was referring to my mother, sister, and me. My mother, sister and I had always been close growing up, probably because of all the time we spent alone. Dad worked more hours than he was home.
“There is nothing wrong with being a career woman, honey. You’re one of a kind.”
“I love my career, I really do.”
“But you can be a full-time mother as well. Whatever you decide. You could be starting a new journey. I’m behind you, no matter what you do.”
Dad still hadn’t talked to me directly about the baby, but I knew he would. He always had to process everything before speaking.
“Thank you, Daddy.
“Are you feeling any better?” I asked, knowing he wasn’t. The radiation had made him very sick and my mother was trying to keep everyone away since his immune system was so low. I hated not being able to see him, but I hoped I would be able to in the next week or two. I would never forgive myself if he had gotten sick from something I might have been carrying.
“I’m getting there.” He coughed a little and it scared me.
“I love you, Emma.”
‘I love you, Dad.”
26
CASH
“I kind of like it. I know it is the complete opposite from what I’ve ever had… but it is….” I paused trying to find a word.
“Breigh would say charming.”
“What do you think Emma would say?” I asked, as I watched Wyatt roll his eyes without a response.
“There are some things I need to update but all in all, it’ll work. It feels welcoming. I’ve actually never lived in something so small…” I looked around then smiled. Emma might have no interest in looking but I had heard about the place and wanted to check it out. I had started to read What to Expect When You Are Expecting and trying to think like a father. If and when she took me back, I didn’t want to let her down one iota.
“You’re used to swanky hotels or your black-and-white condo. You couldn't even walk on that carpet. Completely unlived in. Other than the bedroom I guess. Remember how much you hated my mobile home? The one I truly loved!”
“Yes… and I’m fully aware I was a dog…”
“Breigh would say lower than a dog. I believe scum was used.”
“You were the good brother, I was the bad,” I said.
“How funny you see it that way… because I was the one pushed away, discarded by Dad. You were the one favored.”
“Dad knew he could brainwash me… make me how he wanted me. You never allowed that. How did you know he was…?”
“I just saw how he treated people… Mom… and then I heard a lot from Aunt Rhonda and Uncle Kurt. They tried not to say negative stuff but then eventually said screw it and weren't as careful speaking around me. Of course, they could see the hurt I felt being like
a black sheep. Then when he disowned me and tried to give all my trust away when I became a police officer, it just clarified everything I already felt. Now we both know why… he was afraid I was going to see what he was doing. Glad I didn't find out though, and someone else did.”
I pulled at my shirt collar, ready to change the subject. Wyatt was always good about speaking his feelings, probably ‘cause that’s how Rhonda was, straightforward without a filter.
“Academy is going pretty good. It’s odd actually…” I said.
“How so?”
“That I am taking it so seriously and observing others who aren’t.”
“Why, because you are usually the one not taking it seriously?”
“Exactly. The book stuff isn't too bad, and the fitness test, I’m not worried about. But when they are running you through some pretty tough scenarios, it is hard to put yourself in that place. What if I don't react quickly enough? What if I can’t save that person who needs me?”
“What if you do? People need our help that’s why they call us. You try to be the best you can be and that is all any of us can do.” Wyatt was always the one with so much wisdom.
“I just don't want to fail… I’ve done enough failing.”
“Then don’t let that happen. I bet you would have never thought in a million years you would be where you are. Rhonda used to say, ‘The rearview mirror is small for a reason, and the windshield is so big for a reason. Windshield to look forward to what is ahead of you. It is the only thing you can change. What’s behind you is the past. You shouldn’t focus on what is behind you, only what is in front of you.”
I shook my head, taking in his words.
“I wish I could have heard some of her wisdom.”
“Well, she told me so now I can pass it on.” He squeezed my shoulder ending the mushy conversation.
“Back to the house…” Wyatt said, changing the subject more than likely starting to feel uncomfortable.
“Gonna need some help decorating it. I want it to have the feel like your home. You walk in and instantly want to have a seat on the couch and stay all day.”
“You’ll have to ask Breigh for that help… I just hung what she said and moved what she wanted. It's a good neighborhood; the home will hold its value and your taxes won’t be too outrageous. I’m sure there is a HOA, which means you can’t turn it into a bachelor pad.”
“No interest in doing that. I’m hoping in time, Emma would consider living here with me.”
“Don't look at me that way. I don't have any say in anything.”
“Do you know anything?”
“Does she answer you back?” he asked, pretending like he didn't know. He knew. He and his wife told each other everything. Emma told Breigh everything.
“No, she doesn’t. But if she reads them then I am thankful. I have to earn her back. And I won’t stop until I do.”
“Damn, Cash. Just that sentence shows the maturing you have done. Proud of you.”
“Thanks, man.”
“But what if you don't earn her back? What if she refuses to let you back in her life?”
I spit out the words before I processed them, “Then I’ll die trying.”
And I meant every word.
EMMA
My body had become all baby at this point and although I loved it, it was obvious I was pregnant. Luckily most of my weight was in my belly and not anywhere else… and so far I didn’t have a single stretch mark. Breigh reminded me that was wishful thinking.
Damn her!
When Donna had first found out I was pregnant, she wrote down a list of books for me to read. Her sister had been pregnant three times already and she loved every minute of being an aunt. She had no want to be a mother, especially after seeing how your life would revolve around the little munchkins, not to mention the damage to her sister’s body.
“Not that that is going to happen to you though.” She smiled, regretting what she said.
“It’s fine, Donna. It probably will, but it will be worth it. I’ve always wanted to be a mother!”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what my sister said too.”
“Mr. Thomas called and asked that I page his office when you arrived this morning. He said he needed to meet with you.”
“Did he say what it’s regarding?” I ask, worried.
“No, just that he needed to know the minute you got in today.”
“Okay, please give me a few minutes for a restroom run and then page him.”
I walked to the restroom a little worried about what he was going to say. It wasn't any secret our owner was unsympathetic when it came to women starting a family. I had dreaded it but thought I would have more time. I was shocked he even employed women with his attitude.
I had gotten arranged at my desk, looking ever the professional when a light knock at my office door sounded off.
“Good morning, Emma.”
“Good morning, Mr. Thomas.” I stood up to shake his hand and greet him.
“Sit, sit. You are looking well.”
“Thank you, sir.”
I sat back at my desk and waited to hear what he was going to say. It reminded me of going to the principal in high school, knowing I was caught but didn't know what I was caught doing.
“My wife ran into your parents at the golf benefit last weekend. Your mother was beaming, bragging about her first grandchild.”
“We are all excited.” I said, a little frustrated that I didn't get the chance to tell my boss myself but knew they had good intentions.
“It was good timing, considering what your father is going through. Will hopefully keep his spirits up.”
His leg was crossed over his other, moving up and down just enough that I could see his nervousness, or frustration. One or the other.
“We hope that his treatments go well.”
“I hope so as well,” he said. “The reason I wanted to talk with you is I wanted to know if you thought we should bring in some help for your workload. You are a one-woman machine and I don't want you to feel overstressed or burdened. Plus, I am sure at the very least you will want a maternity leave.”
I sat up straight in the chair and rested my hands on my desk. “Thank you for the concern, but I am not at that point yet. But I most definitely will have to cut back my hours. My father has been lecturing me regarding that anyway.”
“Fathers are that way. We realize once are kids are grown up that we missed a great deal of the important things. I just wanted you to know I was aware and that if you needed anything I am here to help. We want you here for the long haul, Emma. We know how valuable you are to our office.”
“I really appreciate the support, sir. I was a little worried about…”
“That is why we like you, Emma. You think ahead, and you run a tight ship. You get things done. I am here to reassure you that we will figure out what we need to do to work with you and your baby.”
“Thank you. That really is nice to hear.”
Mr. Thomas stood up and I did as well. He walked out my office, closing my office door quietly.
I really hoped he felt that way and he was going to stick to his words.
I had earned the respect from my boss, and I prayed he realized that as well. There would be no more long hours, late nights, and missing sleep because of my career.
My focus would be one-hundred-percent on my baby.
27
EMMA
Walking into Breigh and Wyatt’s house was always a welcoming feeling. It was my home in a lot of ways. If I had a problem, I would come here to pick Breigh’s brain on what I should do, or sometimes just to talk and have her listen. Wyatt was pretty good about taking it all with a grain of salt and recognizing the importance of our friendship. I didn't think that was always the case.
Today, I woke with an uneasy feeling, wondering if I was pushing Cash away. I truly wanted to cave and give him another chance and jump right in, but then I held my belly and knew if he hurt me this time, it w
ouldn’t be singular. It would be a part of me that I would protect from anything.
At thirty-five weeks pregnant, I was getting antsy. I was propped up on their couch watching Wyatt push Olivia on her swing set in their backyard.
I smiled. “I really feel Rhonda here sometimes.” Wyatt had inherited the house from his aunt, Rhonda, and they moved in deciding this home was where they wanted to raise their family.
‘Yeah, me too.” Breigh came around the corner from the kitchen bringing me a lemonade. I had been drinking it like crazy the last couple weeks. I didn't hold anything in long anyway, ran right through me, and my best friend found it humorous.
“Just wait ‘til when you pee when you sneeze or cough. Good times.” She smiled at me with a grin that couldn't wait for me to experience the wonderful effects of carrying a child and birth.
“Do you ever get tired of watching them together?” I point out to father and daughter playing outside on the swing set.
“Never. I always found Wyatt gorgeous but when he is in his father role, I melt. I guess because I never had that.”
“I did have it, and I still love it.”
She sat next to me, angling her body so she was facing me. “Ready to talk?”
“That obvious, huh?”
“I know you. Isn't that why you are here, though?”
“I just came to see my best friend and her family.”
“Not buying it… Cash?”
“I love him and I’m not waiting any longer to tell him. I am getting close to delivering and I am ready for him to be a part of it. I am just scared.”
“Emma, he is almost done with the academy, he is working at the bank, he is either with us or working out. He has changed. I can vouch for that. I also have it under good authority he is preparing to be a father, even looked at a few houses, and been reading so he doesn’t let you down.”
Our Season (Lifetime Love Series) Page 14
