Her heart flew into her throat. “Thank you.”
His smile was sweet, but there was a hint of sadness there that she didn’t like.
Like this was a goodbye. Which didn’t even make sense because he was supposed to be her roommate for another few weeks.
He dropped his hand from her waist and turned to face her fully. “I wish…”
His hands came up to cup her face, his thumbs stroking her cheeks as the hard warmth of his body so close to hers singed her skin as surely as if she were standing next to a fire.
“What do you wish?” she asked.
He didn’t answer, his gaze trained on her lips. Instead, his gaze lifted and she felt a jarring connection when his eyes met hers.
“I don’t want to see you hurt,” he said.
She swallowed hard. Did that mean…Was he talking about himself?
“You deserve better than guys like Billy, Gina.”
Her heart stuttered. So, no. He wasn’t talking about himself. He was talking about Billy. Her heart twisted. She was so confused. Her head was spinning with questions. Was it wishful thinking that had her seeing affection and desire in his eyes or was it real?
He leaned in closer. “I don’t want anyone to hurt you, Gina. Especially not me.”
Her breath left her as he closed the distance between them. His lips were firm and hot as they closed over hers. Their mouths seemed to fuse together like they were meant for this. She whimpered as he tilted his head to angle his lips over hers, his hands gentle on her cheeks as he held her tenderly.
Her mind ceased working altogether. Her heart was fluttering like a hummingbird as sweet, hot joy spread through her limbs and left her shaking.
This was just as electric as their first kiss, but totally different. This was leisurely and tender, not fierce and quick. It was so much more personal because this wasn’t Aston-the-Rockstar kissing her, but him. Her Aston.
And he was kissing her like he meant it.
She went up on tiptoes when he started to pull away, and when she returned his kiss with one of her own, she was rewarded with a groan that sounded like it’d been dragged from his very depths. It was the sound of a man who wanted her. Who needed her. Who...loved her?
“Gina,” he whispered against her lips.
She started to pull back to hear what he was going to say, but she froze, her lips a breath away from his as another voice said her name just behind her.
“Gina?” Billy’s voice crashed into her, a jarring, sickening interruption.
She froze as Aston muttered a curse before dropping his hands from her face and pulling away.
Her gut churned as she took in Aston’s glare, which was already fixed on her ex behind her.
She saw a million emotions on Aston’s face and in his eyes—but not one of them was shock.
Fourteen
Aston reached for Gina’s hand as she half turned to face the talking piece of crap she called an ex.
“Billy,” he drawled, flinching slightly when Gina pulled her hand out of his reach. “What an unpleasant surprise.”
Billy’s features were pinched in a sneer as the leggy blonde beside him eyed Aston like meat on a stick. Her gaze raked over him so unsubtly he nearly rolled his eyes.
He might have if Billy wasn’t demanding his full attention by daring to turn that glare on Gina. “I can’t believe you’re showing your face in public after what you’ve done to me.”
“What I’ve done?” she snapped. “You were cheating on me, Billy,” she said, her voice frighteningly even. Almost...unfeeling. Which wasn’t like her at all. “You don’t have a leg to stand on.”
“You humiliated me—”
“You humiliated yourself,” she shot back. “None of this would have happened if you hadn’t ditched me to meet up with your other girlfriend.”
“Oh, I’m not his girlfriend,” the blonde said, her eyes still on Aston, a wicked gleam in her eyes.
“Whatever,” Billy muttered, his eyes cold and cruel on Gina.
Aston tried to sidle in front of her, to block her from his view, but she wasn’t having any of it. “Exactly. Whatever,” she said shortly, her tone still so unemotional it sent a shiver down his spine. “It’s water under the bridge now.”
“I should have known you were trash right from the start,” he said. “You know what this town says about your family, right? You’ve gone and proved how low-class you really are.”
Gina stiffened beside him, and Aston was flooded with rage.
“You want to know what real garbage is? Take a look in the mirror,” Aston growled, taking a step in Billy’s direction, ready to take him down. But Gina reached for Aston’s hand, tugging him back toward the car.
“He’s not worth it,” she said simply.
He let her lead him away because her grip was strong and her voice was still so unnervingly off. “What about dinner—”
“We’re going home.” Her face was set in a blank expression, and there was that chill again.
She was icing him out.
Gina was many things, but cold was not one of them. He’d seen her spitting nails, laughing until she cried, and crying until she laughed. But this?
This was not her.
She didn’t stop pulling him behind her until they’d reached the car and were once more inside.
“Gina, I—”
“No.” She held up a hand to stop him. “Just drive us home. To my home.”
His muscles stiffened and everything in him wanted to protest, but he knew better than to argue. Dinner in the same restaurant as Billy and that woman wasn’t exactly appealing.
And it was possible he’d gone about this all wrong.
A fact which was confirmed when they were once more on the highway, encased in a palpable force field of tension.
“You knew,” she said. It sounded like she was talking through gritted teeth.
“I—”
“You knew.” She whipped around in her seat—and there was the fire. It lit her eyes and made her whole body tremble with emotion. “You knew Billy would be there tonight.”
“Yes, but—”
“So this was all…” She trailed off and he cursed when he looked over to see her struggling with emotions. Her lips were quivering and the area around her eyes looked pinched, like—
“Please don’t cry,” he said. Please, please don’t cry.
His heart twisted and turned in his chest at the sight of her hurting. He couldn’t take it. He’d never cared overly much about anyone else’s feelings before. Not for a very long time, at least. So why with this woman did it seem like her feelings were the most important thing in the world?
Why did it seem like he felt hers just as strongly as his own?
She looked away, out the window. “I’m not going to cry,” she said at last. “I just thought...I thought that this…” She waved a hand to encompass the two of them. “I’m an idiot.”
She’d muttered it under her breath, but he heard.
“No. Gina, you’re not—”
“I am.” Her voice rose so it was nearly a shout. “I thought...I actually believed…”
“What?” He gripped the wheel as his chest tightened. It felt like she had his heart in her hands. The longer she went without finishing a statement, the more he could feel this vise tightening around his chest. “You thought what?”
“I thought it was real,” she said.
His heart fell flat at the sadness in her voice. It was quiet now, and that made it so much worse.
“It was real,” he started.
But she was already shaking her head. “You knew he would be there. You set that up.” She turned in her seat to face him. “Why?”
“I…” He wanted to argue. But she wasn’t wrong. Although she was wrong if she thought that kiss was for Billy’s sake. Or anything he’d said, for that matter. “I knew he would be there, but that wasn’t—”
“Why?” she asked again, talking over top of him.
Her eyes were a mixture of fury and pain, and it made his own emotions ricochet between defensive anger and guilt.
He shouldn’t have kissed her.
He shouldn’t have told her all that stuff about how she was his muse.
It was true. But what did that matter? He’d promised himself he wouldn’t lead her on, and he’d gone and done just that. He’d seen the look in her eyes, the hope, the affection…
He swallowed hard.
The last woman who’d looked at him like that was Jessie.
Oh, plenty of women had looked at Aston Rogue with love and adoration, but none of them had really known him. Not since Jessie.
And now Gina.
But this wasn’t the same thing at all, because that had been a high school infatuation on both their parts. They hadn’t even been fully grown. They hadn’t matured into themselves yet, for better or for worse, and he’d never truly felt the same depth of emotion for Jessie that she’d felt for him.
He’d wanted to.
He’d wished he could.
But he hadn’t.
Yet with Gina…
He turned to find her staring at him, her brows drawn together as if she were facing a puzzle.
It would be all too easy to feel that way about Gina.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked.
He turned back to the road, away from her hurt gaze. “Would you have come if you’d known he would be there?”
“No.” So simple. So honest.
He shrugged, tension stiffening his spine. Had he been wrong to want to see that man pay?
Maybe.
Probably.
Crap.
“Why?” she asked.
There it was again. That question that made it impossible to think straight.
Why? Why had he kissed her? Why couldn’t he stop thinking about that kiss? Why, despite knowing better, had he given in to temptation?
He had a lot of why’s of his own that he couldn’t answer. But hers wasn’t so difficult.
“Because you need revenge,” he said.
“What I need is to move on,” she snapped.
“Gina, the lies he’s spreading, the way he’s—”
“It doesn’t matter,” she interrupted. “Don’t you get that? He doesn’t matter to me.”
He turned to her in surprise. He’d seen the way her ex had broken her heart. “Since when?”
“Since—” Her mouth clamped shut before she could finish.
“Since what?” he snapped.
Her silences were killing him.
“If I’d wanted payback, I’d get it myself,” she said. “It’s not on you to do that for me.”
“Right. Heaven forbid I do anything for you,” he muttered in a low voice.
She heard him though, and she straightened beside him. “Is that what this is? Another one of your attempts to pay off some debt you think you owe me?”
He turned to glare at her. Was that what she thought that kiss was? Payment? His fingers hurt from clenching the wheel so hard.
He wasn’t sure who he was angrier with right now. Himself for making such a mess of this, or her for not seeing that for once he’d been honest. He’d been genuine. He’d worn his freakin’ heart on his sleeve.
And she honestly thought it meant nothing to him.
That she meant nothing to him.
“I should have told you about Billy,” he said. “But I knew you wouldn’t go along with it—”
“Exactly,” she snapped.
“But I thought you deserved it. I thought you’d want to see the look on his face when he saw that you would never be his again.” A horrible thought had his lungs freezing and his gut churning. “You’re not going to go back to him, are you? Please tell me you’re not going to take him back or—”
“Of course not.” Her chest was rising and falling with exertion. “Is that really what you think of me?”
He exhaled sharply. “I think you’re a kind woman. Too kind for your own good.”
She was quiet for a long second, but he could practically hear her fuming.
“I thought it would make you happy,” he said.
She turned back to him. “That’s the problem, I guess. You think you know what I want.” She let out a humorless huff of laughter. “Every guy I’ve ever dated thinks they know what I want. What I need. They think they know me better than I know myself. But they’re wrong.” She shook her head. “You’re wrong.”
Flames shot through him, burning all logic and making his muscles so tense he wished he wasn’t trapped in a car so he could let out some of this energy.
It wasn’t being told he was wrong. Or even that he didn’t know her as well as he’d thought. It was being compared to every other guy she’d ever dated. Every one of them had been selfish. A user.
And she let them be that way.
Was that how she saw him? Just another taker who’d walk all over her given half a chance?
Aren’t you? The voice that answered back was taunting. Crueler than Gina could ever be.
“Maybe the men in your life would know what you want if you ever told them outright what that was,” he said.
She stiffened beside him before sliding him a sidelong glare. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means, what do you want, Gina?” His voice rose sharply in frustration.
Her mouth gaped before she clamped it shut again and turned away.
Silence followed, and soon he was seeing signs for Cyrano. Home sweet home. Or it would have been if his roommate wasn’t currently giving him the cold shoulder.
She didn’t speak until he pulled into her driveway. They both sat there after he turned off the car as if by some unspoken agreement.
“What do you want, Gina?” he asked again.
It felt important. It seemed necessary, even. She was so open and honest about everything...but that.
“If you don’t want Billy back, then what do you want? Who do you want?”
She was silent, her gaze fixed straight ahead. But he saw emotions playing out across her face. And he was horrified by the intensity of his own emotions in response.
Say me. His chest felt like it might implode. Say you want me.
But she didn’t. Of course she didn’t. She knew what this was as well as he did. And it was anything but real.
“Fine,” he said when her silence stretched on for too long. “You don’t want to talk about your love life, then let’s talk about work. You loved your job. You can’t possibly want to work for Missy.”
She shot him a narrow glare at that. But he was right, and she knew it.
“So what is it that you actually want?”
She swallowed hard. “You know I want my old job back—”
“But you can’t have it,” he finished for her. “So what else do you want? Say it, Gina. Admit out loud what would make you happy.”
“Not all of us have big dreams, Aston—”
“That’s bull and you know it.” He was being rude. And crass. And he couldn’t bring himself to stop. She was so genuine. So real. Except when it came to admitting what she wanted. From taking what she wanted. “Don’t make excuses,” he said. “You’ve been a doormat with your exes, but that stops now.”
She turned to him with a hiss. “How dare you?”
“I’ve heard the stories, Gina. And I’ve had the singular displeasure of meeting Billy.” He hated himself right now. Hated the way he was talking to her, confronting her. But if he had to leave here—if he had to walk away—he sure as heck didn’t want to leave her vulnerable to another jerk like Billy.
She’d made him face his demons, whether she’d meant to or not. She’d made him change. Grow up. Be better.
And now it was her turn.
“Do you want to own a coffee shop of your own, Gina? I will buy you a place—”
“I don’t want your money.”
“No, you don’t want my help,” he said. “This isn’t about money because
we both know you could pay me back if it was that important to you. This is about accepting my help. I’m guessing you never want anyone’s help. Saint Gina is the only one who can be generous and kind, right?”
She glared at him. “I accept help.”
“Just not from me, is that it?” he asked. He didn’t know why that stung so badly, but it felt like a knife wound.
“Not when it’s a way for you to pay me off,” she said through a tight jaw. “You can’t kiss me one minute and offer me money the next. Do you know how that makes me feel?”
“I’m not—” He had to stop to take a deep breath before he said something he’d regret. That kiss was real. The way I feel about you is real. “I’m not paying for a kiss, Gina. That’s an insult to us both.”
She looked away, crossing her arms over her chest. “Fine.” Her lips trembled and her eyes looked suspiciously wet in the light of the streetlight.
“Gina,” he said, his anger fading fast. “I’m sorry about tonight. I’m sorry about...everything.”
She nodded.
A long silence passed and when she spoke, her voice was painfully soft. “You really think I’m a doormat?”
He raked a hand through his hair and let out a harsh exhale. “I think you are the kindest person I know. But I also think you grew up being your family’s peacemaker. It doesn’t take a psychology degree to figure out that you were the one who took care of everyone else all the time, that you grew up believing you had to handle everything yourself and make life easier for the ones you love.”
Her silence made his chest ache. Her gaze was filled with pain before she looked away, out the window.
His fingers itched to reach for her, but he left her alone. “I think...I think you haven’t figured out yet that love isn’t all give and no take.”
Her lips pressed together tight as she sniffed. Then she turned to face him. “Maybe you’re right.”
His chest ached because he knew without a doubt how much that hurt her to admit. “Gina, if you don’t want to be a doormat then stand up for yourself,” he said. “Say what you mean. Take what you want.”
“Take what you want,” she echoed quietly. “Is that what you do?”
Fake Dating My Rockstar Roommate: A Sweet Standalone Romance (Fake Dates Book 3) Page 13
