by Nika Rhone
A home where you would always feel welcome. Unlike his father, whose own parents had treated both of them like lepers and taken them in only because it would have looked bad to turn them away while they were mourning the death of his mother.
“A small policy wouldn’t pay enough to buy a ranch this size,” Daryl said, still trying to take in all this new information and the change it made to the worldview he’d had since he was eight years old.
“Not now, but don’t forget, when we first came here, the place was smaller, and on the verge of going bankrupt. Even after things started to turn around, there wasn’t a whole lot of value past the liens and outstanding debt for feed and supplies and such. Kim insisted I only pay her what it was worth at the time.” A small smile turned his otherwise grimly set lips. “That was an argument for the ages. Do you know she refused to marry me until I agreed to her price and we had everything all legally signed, sealed, and notarized? And with her…well, under the circumstances, that was a pretty bold thing for her to do.”
Being pregnant and unwed twenty-some years ago in Hayden, it had been very bold. But Daryl had never found Kim to be anything less than fearless. Even when dealing with a sullen, resentful stepson who never showed her a tenth of the affection she showered on him. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about this?”
His father shrugged. “It never dawned on me I needed to. This was our home, and we were a family, all four of us. As far as I was concerned, that was that. It didn’t matter whose name was on what piece of paper or who owned what when. I never knew you felt different.”
“I didn’t, until…”
“Yeah, until you got an earful of spite from the horse’s asses.” Hank drummed his fingers on the table again. “You know that even if I hadn’t officially bought the ranch from Kim, this would still be your home, don’t you? Yours and Winona’s both, equally.”
“More Winnie’s than mine.”
“Equally,” his father repeated. “Why do you think I picked the name Circle R for the place?”
“Well, the R is for Raintree, obviously.” He’d never much thought about the rest.
“And the Circle is for the Medicine Wheel. It represents the circle of life and death, the continuation of all things. This family is a part of that circle. No matter what comes, we’re all tied here, to this place. It’s special to us because it’s home, even if we move a thousand miles away.” When Daryl didn’t say anything, Hank heaved a frustrated sigh. “Son, how do you think Kim came to own this ranch in the first place?”
“Her husband died.”
“She was Buck’s second wife. He already owned the place when she met and married him, and she only lived here a few years before he died. He didn’t have any children from either marriage, so she inherited everything.”
“Huh.” Daryl took that in. He’d always assumed Kim and her husband bought the ranch together. This…this put a whole new perspective on things.
“She didn’t tell me until years later, but those same women who put a bug in your ear about me taking advantage of the poor, grieving widow for my own profit said pretty much the same thing about Kim when she’d married Buck a few years earlier. She was the younger second wife. His first missus hadn’t been gone all that long, and some folks didn’t take too kindly to his choice or the fact she was suddenly a young widow who just happened to be one of the major landholders in the area. More than a few were rooting for her to fail and lose the ranch.”
“And then you came along and turned things around, spoiling their petty retribution.” And gave them a whole different set of targets to vent their spiteful frustration on instead.
So many years trying to prove he wasn’t a greedy, grasping boy out to take what wasn’t his to claim, trying to prove his worth, and to whom? A gaggle of prune-faced old biddies whose only pleasure came from inflicting their own narrow-minded views and biases on those around them?
Why had he ever cared that much what they thought of him?
Because he’d been an impressionable child, he realized now, desperate to be accepted, and they’d known just the right poison to drip into his ear. The harder he tried to prove himself, the more he seemed to fail, at least in his own eyes. And the more he failed, the harder it became to come back to the ranch and face the people he felt he was disappointing the most, until finally it had just become easier to stay away. When all along it was the staying away that was failing them.
Chaz was right. He was a fool and a coward. He’d let the past rule his life. No, worse, he’d let the past of an eight-year-old boy rule his life. And because of that, because of the distorted picture of who he saw himself as, he’d lost so many years with his family he’d never have the opportunity to reclaim. Moments that should have been precious that he’d thrown away without a second’s thought.
Fool he was. But he would have to be a damned fool if he didn’t start fixing the mistakes of the past. Beginning now.
Chapter Thirty-Two
It wasn’t even ten o’clock yet, but the Texas heat was already inching up into the uncomfortable range. Which was why Amelia had learned to take advantage of the morning and evening hours to enjoy the peace and beauty of her Aunt Josie’s gardens. Being outside in the middle of the afternoon felt like stepping onto the surface of the sun. Not that Amelia hated the heat. Her body was just still attuned to the milder temperatures of Colorado.
And South Dakota.
No. She pushed away the errant thought. She’d already done her thinking about what happened back in Hayden and made her decision what to do about it. Now she just needed the courage to stick to it.
Setting the wooden glider into motion with her foot, she leaned her head back and stared through the leaves of the towering sassafras tree. The glider hadn’t been here when she first arrived almost two weeks ago. It just appeared one day after she’d taken to spending so much time in the garden, thinking and, yes, she admitted, licking her wounds. The events following her wedding-that-wasn’t had definitely taken their toll.
She still felt a little guilty about the way she’d all but fled Thea’s home after only a few days. As much as she loved her friends, they were having a hard time figuring out how to deal with an Amelia who didn’t need them in quite the same way anymore. She would be forever grateful to them for all of the battles in her past they’d fought for her, just as she was grateful to Daryl for showing her that she could fight them herself going forward.
A small slice of pain and frustration wedged into her chest at the thought of him, but like the unwanted thoughts of Hayden and the ranch, she pushed it away. She’d done her share of thinking about him over the past few weeks, as well. It had been impossible not to. Not when he filled her dreams every night. It seemed she could ignore him all she wanted when she was awake, but she didn’t have the same control over her brain once she fell asleep. And her brain liked to think about him. A lot.
She’d made her decision about him too. She just had no idea if it was the right one.
It didn’t matter. She was done with worrying so hard about if she was doing the right thing that she ended up being frozen into doing nothing. Or, worse, what she was told to do. From now on, she was following her heart. If she made a mistake, if she crashed and burned, well, she’d just pick herself up and try again. Now that she didn’t have to worry so much about pleasing everyone else, she could finally start pleasing herself.
She closed her eyes and breathed in the aromatic scent the giant sassafras tree permeated the air with, letting the dappled sunlight play along her face without a care for the freckles her mother so abhorred. There were no cameras to play to anymore, no publicity shots to worry about. Other than a quick swipe of mascara and some moisturizer, she didn’t bother with a makeup regimen most days. She’d gotten out of the habit back at the ranch, and she found it was too much like layering on a mask to be comfortable doing again. She was who she was, and she was okay with that person, spots and all. If anyone thought differently…well, that was
their problem, not hers.
It was hard not to feel like she’d been reborn. Thinking back to what her life had been before, she could hardly believe she’d ever been that silly, weak person. It saddened her to think of all the time she’d wasted, the opportunities she’d never have again, all because she’d been so thoroughly indoctrinated into the belief that her wants and needs came after everyone else’s.
She wasn’t foolish enough to think she’d passed all the hurdles that would come with taking charge of her own life, but at least now she was taking charge of it, and so far, she thought she’d been doing a pretty decent job. There was a lot more to do, of course, and her next hurdle would be the most difficult yet, but she was fully prepared to do whatever she needed to achieve her goal.
“You’ve come a long way, baby,” she murmured to herself with a smile.
“It’s good to see you can still do that. I was starting to wonder if the bastards had stolen your smile as well as your inheritance.”
Amelia’s smile turned to a wry grin at her aunt’s acerbic comment. She turned her head as she sank onto the glider beside her. Somewhere in her eighties, though she’d never admit to exactly where, Josie still had the vibrant energy and biting wit that had been her lifelong trademark. She did yoga every morning, swam every afternoon, and though she carried a cane when walking for any distance, it seemed to Amelia she used it more as a weapon to swat uncooperative people out of her way than she did to steady her gait.
There were a lot of reasons Amelia loved her aunt. The fact she took no crap from anybody was one of them.
“Yes, I can still smile.” She chose to ignore the comment about her inheritance, but, of course, Josie wouldn’t be put off that easily.
“I always knew Meredith was a slave to her image, but to kick her daughter out of her own home…” She shook her head and made a tsking sound. “Bad form, even for her.”
At least her mother’s aversion to looking bad had worked to Amelia’s benefit for once. Mr. Fordham’s lawyers had put the fear of bad press into her and managed to retrieve most of the items on Amelia’s contested possessions list, including the bracelet and the dressing table, so as far as Amelia was concerned, she’d gotten a win.
“Really, it’s fine,” Amelia said, hoping to keep her aunt from another of her “your mother is an awful person” rants. “I wouldn’t have stayed there long, anyway. They did me a favor. Now I can move forward without looking back.”
“Some favor.” Josie sniffed, but proved successfully diverted when she added, “So, you’re still set on this plan of yours, then.”
“Yes.”
“There’s nothing I can do to talk you out of it?”
“I’m afraid not.”
Her aunt pursed her lips in deep thought for a moment. “I’m not as young as I used to be, you know. It would be nice to have you here with me. This is all going to be yours when I’m gone, you know. Why not start enjoying it now?”
Amelia’s heart pinched. Her aunt might just be testing her resolve, but there was still a grain of truth to her words. Despite her good health and the pure contrariness that would probably have her outliving her own doctors, Josie was still human and one day she wasn’t going to be with them anymore. Amelia hated to think of that day, but she couldn’t live her life again for anyone else’s expectations but her own.
“I did tell you I didn’t want you to make me your primary heir,” Amelia said, even though she was wasting her breath. Once her aunt made up her mind about something, not even a team of horses could get her to budge about it.
“Who else am I going to leave my money to?”
“You do have other relatives besides me.”
“And if any of them gave me the time of day, I might consider returning the favor.” Josie thumped her cane hard into the ground to emphasize her displeasure. “Money and power do strange things to people.”
“Don’t I know it,” Amelia murmured.
“Yes, you do. Which is why I know you’ll do something good with your inheritance. Not just turn into another billionaire bimbo jetting around the world flashing your hoochie to the paparazzi and providing headline fodder for the rags.”
Even though she laughed, Amelia felt a flicker of interest stir at her aunt’s words. She could do something good with the money. A lot of somethings. There were so many worthy causes…
Tucking that thought away, since it would hopefully be years yet before she ever had to do anything about it, she said, “As much as I’d love to stay here with you, Auntie, and as much as I appreciate your letting me stay here these past few weeks, I have to be true to my heart. If I’m not, then I haven’t learned anything at all from this mess I made.”
“The mess wasn’t all yours. You just got stuck cleaning it up.”
“Still.” Amelia cut her off before she could get ramped up again. “I can’t stay. That doesn’t mean I won’t still call all the time and visit whenever I can.”
“It’s that young man of yours, isn’t it?” Josie asked with a knowing gleam in her eyes. “The cowboy?”
“He’s not a cowboy, he’s a bodyguard,” Amelia said before she saw the trap. She rolled her eyes as her aunt cackled and thumped her cane again. “Okay, yes, fine, part of this is about Daryl. Well, about Daryl and me. About us. Not that there’s an us right now, but…well, there was once, or at least I think there was, but I’m just not sure that…” She trailed off as her aunt placed a hand on hers, patting it affectionately.
“You love him.”
Amelia stared at her helplessly. “I really do.”
“Well, then, that’s good, seeing as he’s sitting in the library waiting for you.”
“He…what?”
“It would be a shame for him to come all this way just to find out you didn’t care one way or the other, now, wouldn’t it?”
“Wait.” Amelia shook her head, certain she’d heard wrong. “He’s here? Daryl is here, right now, inside the house?”
“And probably starting to sweat a little about how long it’s taking you to get in there to see him.” Josie cackled again, enjoying herself. “Do him good too. Handsome ones like that are always too cocksure of themselves. A little bit of uncertainty keeps them humble.”
“He…oh, God.” Amelia jumped to her feet, took several steps toward the house, then turned and paced back to the glider, wringing her suddenly damp hands. “He wasn’t supposed…I was going to…what do I do?”
Her aunt stopped her frantic pacing by swinging her cane out into her path. When Amelia looked at her, Josie said, “Go and talk to him.”
“Right, right.” Amelia’s head bobbed like a nervous quail. “I’ll go see what he wants.” She set off toward the house at an unladylike pace, ignoring her aunt’s cackled laugh as it drifted behind her. All of her attention was focused forward.
After she watched her great-niece run in a very unladylike fashion back toward the mansion, Josie grinned and leaned back on the glider, closing her eyes and setting it into motion with a happy sigh. “Oh, I know exactly what he wants, my dear girl, and you’re bringing it right to him.”
****
He’s here. He’s here. He’s here.
The words spun through her head as she hurried across the flagstone patio. Why was he here? Why now? She hadn’t heard a single word from him in more than three weeks, not since he’d brought her to the Fordham estate and then turned around to go back to the ranch the very same day. He hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye before he’d left.
Just…nothing.
Not that she’d expected a sudden declaration of love. Especially not after their last night together, when she’d come so close to begging him to let her stay. Only self-preservation had held her back. That and knowing there were more than a few roadblocks in their way, obstacles that needed to be torn down and overcome before either of them could move forward, with or without each other. She’d managed to knock over some of her obstacles during her time with Daryl, but she’d neede
d to work through a few more before she was comfortable taking the next step. She’d made it through a few, but she wasn’t quite finished yet.
And now he was here, throwing all of her plans into utter disarray, and she didn’t know what to do about it.
Stopping on the patio in front of the French doors to the library, she drew in a deep breath and shook out her damp hands, then rubbed them on her shorts with a grimace. Calm down. There was no reason to be totally freaked out. She’d seen the man naked, after all, she reminded herself as she stepped inside. Which probably hadn’t been the right thought to have on her mind when she saw him again for the first time, because her entire body prickled with goosebumps as he turned from the painting of a bull rider he was studying on the far wall. She could have lied to herself and said it was the air conditioning, but it wasn’t. It was the man.
He was in one of his work suits. The dark fabric hugged his form in tailored perfection, making him look like a tall, sexy James Bond, and making her feel like a total and utter frump in her shorts and sweat-dampened cotton blouse. Why hadn’t she gone upstairs and changed first?
They stared at each other across the room. Neither spoke for a moment. She wasn’t sure what his reason was, but she was too busy drinking in the sight of him to think about forming words. His hair was shorter than she remembered, and she mourned its loss. His face was a little thinner, too, and maybe a little bit darker, probably from the time spent working outside.
When the silence grew strained, she said, “You’re here.”
“You sound surprised.”
The deep rumble of his voice sent familiar warmth rushing through her. “Well, you didn’t call, or text, or…” Acknowledge my existence in any way for the last three weeks. “Or anything.”
“I’m sorry,” Daryl said, looking uncomfortable. “I needed some time to work out a few things without any distractions.”
“Oh.” It was good he thought of her as a distraction, right? “And did you? Work them out, I mean?”
“I think so. I hope so, anyway.” He didn’t sound very sure. In fact, he sounded a little unsure. Maybe even a little bit nervous. That, coupled with the fact that he’d traveled all the way here to see her gave her hope.
