I’ve taught him well, maybe too well. Also, I will be sending Julian…I don’t know, anything he wants. A hundred times over. “Yes, what with the manners. Should I take this as your answer? You’re saying yes?”
“You sound pretty impatient, sir.”
His gently mocking tone is driving me mad and not in a good way, so I let the vicious growl bubbling in my chest burble up my throat and grind out of my mouth. “I am. And you’d best do something about it, otherwise you’re not going to be happy with the consequences.”
I draw back so I don’t bite his throat or drag him back to my car, size be damned. It’s not as though I’ll feel it if I hurt myself anyhow. Although it’s all about consent, right? I’ve got to follow my own goddamn rules, though at the moment I’d like to shred them and chain him in my basement.
“Jesus, can we go home now? Please?” I’ll call on the way so we’re not greeted by the committee. I want to be alone with Hart and show him precisely how much I’ve missed him; make up my fuckery with a language I actually know how to speak.
“I don’t know… I kinda want to see if I can get you to stamp your foot.”
My head explodes. I can’t even with this. Before he can move, I wrap my hand around his neck, dig my fingers into a nerve, and am gratified when his eyes bug and he gasps. Not so fun to toy with now, am I? Or, given the way his pupils are dilating and his breath is getting short…motherfuck.
“What is it going to take to get you out of here and into my bed? What do you want from me?”
I loosen my grip so he can answer me, and he looks into my eyes, his expression mirroring the vulnerability I feel. “Tell me you love me.”
“Is that all? You know I’ve been saying it in my head for months? Even if I couldn’t say it out loud, even if I couldn’t admit it to myself? I love you, Hart.”
“Say my name,” he begs, and anything I’ve been holding back spills over.
“Allie. Allie. I want you, Allie. Be mine, Allie. I love you, Allie.”
“I love you too.”
We kiss again, tender and hungry, desperate and affectionate. After a few minutes of what I can only describe as making out, I break our bond and drag him to my car with a hand held firmly around the back of his neck. “I don’t think Julian would appreciate us scene-ing and fucking on his porch. Or maybe he would, but I wouldn’t. I’m not averse to handing you over to someone else to use, but I’m not sharing this moment with anyone.”
Allie grins at me, his smile so open and lovely, and happiness like I’ve never known overtakes me. Perhaps a perk of being human. “Yes, sir.”
Epilogue
‡
“You’re not going to lock a collar on me?”
I wrap the leather around his wrist and push the toggle through its hole and shake my head. “No.”
“Why not? I wouldn’t think you’d want me to forget who I belong to.”
“You won’t.” My tone is light, but inside, the beast roars to life and longs to mark him with its claws, lay claim to him because he’s mine. “Besides, with this, every time you put it on, every time you take it off, you’ll be making a choice.”
The latch snaps shut, and I rest my thumbs on either side of it on the underside of his wrist. Bring it to my mouth to kiss. The skin here, even on this hard and rough man, is sensitive and smooth, and he shudders as I give a tiny lick.
“Every time you twist this latch, you’ll be choosing to be mine and everything that entails. You’ll have to pick it. The control, the pain—”
“The know-it-all attitude?”
“Come on, that’s a feature, not a bug.”
He puts a hand to my cheek, and I let him urge me in to press his lips against mine. I tighten my grip on his wrist, dig in to a nerve. It makes him gasp into my mouth, and oh, does that taste sweet.
Allie’s leaving tomorrow. Getting on a plane to go to a place where someone else will control everything he does—from what he eats, to when he gets up, to what color socks he wears.
That should drive me out of my mind, and on some level, it does. On a higher level, I’ve permitted him to do this. To have this for himself, to make himself happy and whole. Best of all, he’s allowing me to help him make this happen. At the end of the day, he’ll still choose to come home to me. I don’t need a leash to prove my ownership. Or a ring or a collar.
I’m allowing myself to keep someone. Purely because I want him. Allie’s everything I’ve ever wanted, and he’s taught me it’s okay to want, to have and to hold. To express and fulfill my desires. Because I’m only human.
We’re due at Kendra’s in a couple of hours. They have a new home in Oakland Matthew helped find—with Allie’s grudging permission and much to Matthew’s delight. He’s a bit of a real estate whore. At any rate, it’s nicer than their old place, with a good-sized yard for the kids to run around in and a big family room for when games are on. We spend quite a bit of time there. For barbecues, for babysitting the kids when Kendra has work or school, sometimes just for dinner.
At any rate, Kendra’s having a party for us with their whole family. Even Allie’s mom and sisters are flying out from Philadelphia. I met them on a trip back east, and they’re lovely. Threatened to kill me if I fucked with their baby brother, but I liked them all the more for it. My mom will be there too, and India and Cris, Constance and Glory, Matthew and Peter.
I don’t particularly want to share my last full day with my husband with anyone else, but it’s a heartfelt and wonderful gesture to throw Allie a party surrounded by the people who care about him the most, so we’ll go and enjoy.
Husband—the word still feels foreign in my head. It’s a word I thought I’d only ever use in reference to other people. But Allie had wanted it, had insisted on it in fact, and what’s the difference? Ring or no ring, contract or no contract, I’ve committed myself to him, and the way we do it isn’t something I need to fight about.
If it helps him feel more settled in the face of what he’s about to do, well, I’d do anything. He’s wanted to go back to the Army but hasn’t because of his sister. However, I’ve sworn and am completely and utterly prepared to watch out for Kendra and the kids and to take care of them if anything happens to him. This is a service I can provide. He still worries—it keeps him up some nights—but he doesn’t doubt my word.
They’ll miss him, undoubtedly and rightfully, but at least materially I can provide. Between Matthew and myself, Kendra won’t ever have to miss a shift at work or a class ever again. Anything she wants, I’ll help her get it. If they’ll let me. Those damn stubborn and independent-to-a-fault Harts.
Never thought I’d be a military spouse, but here we are and I wouldn’t have it any other way. But before I give him away to the service… I check my watch again, and we’ve got a little time before we need to drive over the bridge.
So I turn our kiss from sweet to sultry, crank up the heat until it’s scorching and I’ve got him panting. Before he’s got to go, I’m going to set my Hart on fire one last time.
Thank you!
Thanks for reading The Cartographer. I hope you enjoyed it!
• If you’d like to know when my next book is available, you can sign up for my new-release mailing list at www.tamsenparker.com, follow me on Twitter at @TamsenParker, or Like my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/tamsenparker.
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• You’ve just read the sixth and final book in the Compass series. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about this world as much as I’ve enjoyed writing about it and that you’ll join me on some new adventures.
Other Books by Tamsen
The Compass Series
Personal Geography
Intimate Geography
Uncharted Territory
True North
Due South
The Cartographer<
br />
Camp Firefly Falls Continuity
In Her Court (2017 Season)
Standalone Novels
School Ties
His Custody
Short Stories and Novellas
Craving Flight
Looking for a Complication
(originally published as part of the For the First Time anthology)
Needs
(originally published as part of the Winter Rain anthology)
Anthologies
Winter Rain
Acknowledgements
Wow. It doesn’t feel like all that long since I was trying to figure out what to do with this weird little book I’d written and forcing AJ to listen to my pro and con lists—because you know there were lists. I decided to self-publish that book and expected it to be the first in a duology.
Two and a half years and six books later, here we are. In between the Compass series books, I’ve published a novella, two short stories, and two full-length standalone novels with InterMix; become a USA Today bestseller; and signed contracts for six more books with two different publishers. But no matter how many books I write, these will always hold a special place in my heart.
A huge thank you to my CPs: AJ, my most consistent partner in crime; and Teresa who showed up a little later, but who has been just as helpful in making these books better. Also to Skye, who answered so many new self-publisher questions for me when I was starting out and made this crazy world seem not so scary.
I am also grateful to my IRL friends for being here through all the madness: MTS, AJ, LG, DO, and EH. Operation: Margarita has also greatly improved the quality of my life. And I offer profound thanks to my family for not reporting me to the proper authorities, even though I hear voices and talk to myself on the regular.
To my editor, Christa, who I feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to work with. And my copy editor, Rebecca, who I have learned so much from, but who I still need desperately because there are some things I apparently cannot be taught. Also, I owe you a drink. For my proofreaders, Christine and Michele, whose grabby hands make me smile.
I’m grateful to Amber at Book Beautiful for designing a cover concept that I’m still in love with, and to Lexi at Romancing the Cover for making me the most perfect Rey I could’ve imagined. How many secrets are in those books and boxes? So. Many.
And to Paul, who is a mostly unsung hero, but who has formatted every single one of my self-pub projects and has made them look effortlessly professional.
In addition to my publishing team, I want to say a very hearty thank you to my readers and reviewers, who make it possible for me to write books for a living. Without you, there would be no India and Cris, no Slade and Pressly, no Lucy and Evans, and no Rey and Allie. No Hunter, either, but I suspect you’d be okay with that. Thank you for joining me in this world, and I hope you’ll come along for my new journeys.
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
The Cartographer: © 2017 by Tamsen Parker
Editing by Christa Desir (editorchrista.com)
Copy Editing by Rebecca Weston (rawestoneditorial.com)
Cover Concept by Book Beautiful (www.bookbeautiful.com)
Cover Production by Romanced by the Cover (romancedbythecover.com)
Formatting by BB eBooks (bbebooksthailand.com)
Kindle Edition
All rights reserved. Where such permission is sufficient, the author grants the right to strip any DRM which may be applied to this work.
The Cartographer (The Compass series Book 6) Page 32
