“So who does this so-called hit man claim hired him?” I press, still trying to wrap my brain around the whole scenario as Tasha clings to my side.
“Interestingly enough, he’s not saying. That’s when he clammed up and insisted we contact his lawyer.”
Tasha abruptly stands up to her full height and faces Logan. “I am so tired of people threatening me. First, it was Five-Star, then it was the tabloids after I won America’s Next Star. Now, like a bad penny, Five-Star is back to try to take credit for something Aidan and I created together. To top it off, I’ve got crazy people hiring other crazy people to take me out. It’s like a bad movie. I hope it’s not like one of those Hollywood blockbusters where the person who hired the hit man hires another hit man to deliver justice because he didn’t get the job done. I’m sick of this whole thing.” Tasha flops back on the plastic chair and rests her head against the wall.
Logan nods sympathetically. “I know where you’re coming from, Tash, I really do. We’re not without leads now. Since we’ve had one arrest in this case, it will lead us to more evidence. If he’s right and someone did hire him, there will be phone records and probably evidence on social media or another digital footprint. People don’t live in caves and isolation anymore. They nearly always leave a bit of themselves behind. We just have to untangle it all now that we’ve figured out who one of the players is. I’d venture to guess there are probably a few more.”
“Just to be clear, we are going to act as if nothing is changed and Tasha still isn’t safe?”
Logan nods as he says, “Don’t forget, Jude. One of those letters prominently featured a threat to your life too. So, yeah until they figure out the who, why, where, and what, I’m changing nothing about your protection. As far as I’m concerned, we’re still on high alert.”
Logan’s blunt assessment causes Tasha to flinch in my arms. I place my arms around her waist and give a gentle squeeze of reassurance. “Trust me, I haven’t forgotten a single second of this incident. It haunts me whether I’m asleep or awake.”
“Me too, Hernandez, me too,” Logan answers as he scrubs his hand down his face.
“Nobody ever prepares you for this side of it, do they?” Tasha asks as she rubs her temples. “When I was little, I used to think becoming a singer meant being on stage all the time or being a guest on TV shows while I wore pretty clothes and makeup. I never in a million years thought I would be trying to outwit and outsmart a deranged hit man. I’m still trying to figure out how this became my reality.”
“I don’t know,” Logan answers with a shrug. “I do know it’s spun way out of control. This seems far more than an obsessive fan. To me, this feels almost personal.”
“Personal how? I don’t even have a life. Jude is my first serious boyfriend because I never even went to high school. I was home-schooled. I don’t have ex-boyfriend drama. If you go back to my pageant days, you might find a rival — but I didn’t have very many. I stopped competing a long time ago.”
Tasha runs her fingers through her long hair and starts to twist the ends as she speaks. “Even when I did compete, the only person who thought I was in the elite class of competitors was my mom. Sure, I frequently scored top ten, but I was rarely on the podium with the winners. My stellar winning record was mainly a figment of my mom’s active imagination. The pageants I did manage to win were mainly small, inconsequential ones. I can’t imagine someone being jealous enough of those to want to kill me over them — but then again, I can’t imagine anybody being upset enough over any of this to bother with me. I’m only in the top two hundred on the Billboard charts, not even near the top. This has never made any sense.”
“As frustrating as it is, I think we need to stop trying to make it make sense. I think it just is our new reality,” I say as I pull her into my arms and rest my chin on her head.
“Are you suggesting we just give up? I don’t want this to be my ‘new reality.’ I’m sick of looking over my shoulder and trying to evaluate every fan who hands me a piece of paper to sign. I’m tired of not being able to trust anything or anyone. I just want this to be over. If I had my way, I would start school tomorrow and walk away from all of this. I’m done.”
Tasha pulls out of my arms and spins around on Logan as she says, “I’m sorry, Logan, I can’t deal with this right now. I thought once we caught the creep, we would have all the answers. Instead, it seems we have more questions.”
She yanks off the earpiece that is hanging around her neck and throws it on Logan’s desk. “I never wanted to do any of this. This was all my mother’s idea. Just send me to school to be a nurse where I can deal with people one at a time. I hate to say it — but let some other unsuspecting fool with stars in her eyes become the next pop star. Maybe she’ll have better luck than I’ve had.”
Tasha exits the room and slams Logan’s door behind her.
I stare at the closed door in complete shock for a couple of minutes before I comment, “Got any advice for me?”
Logan pauses as he regards me seriously and replies with a soft chuckle, “Hunker down. This one’s gonna be a rough one.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
TASHA
AS I STUDY THE LYRIC sheet to Aidan’s new song, I see something move from the corner of my eye. When I look up, I realize it’s Jude sneaking into our bedroom. It’s obvious he’s hiding something behind his back, but I don’t know what it could be. He already surprised me earlier this week with a birthday party for my twentieth birthday.
“What are you doing?” I ask as he slinks up to the edge of the bed.
“I have a surprise for you,” he says with a smug smile.
“Yeah? Is it something good?” I try to peek around his torso to see if I can guess.
“I really hope so. We could use some good news around here,” Jude comments as he produces two long, ivory envelopes and deposits them in my hand.
It’s all I can do to not drop the letters. My instinctual reaction is to burn them without opening them. Out of self-preservation, I throw them down on the bed. My history with letters has not been positive. “Why are you handing these to me to open? That plan hasn’t gone well recently. The last one I opened was from Five-Star and it was a letter informing me they intended to sue me for breach of contract. My day has been crappy enough, I don’t need to make it any worse.”
“I know, that one was scary — but Aidan’s lawyers took care of it. The lawsuit was dismissed on summary judgment. It was like Stella said, they didn’t have a leg to stand on. It was just the Clover chick trying to make a name for herself in the organization. I knew you and Aidan didn’t cheat. There are only so many notes in existence, they get repeated sometimes, but it doesn’t mean a song isn’t an original.”
I grin at Jude as I comment, “You know what the funny thing is? All the publicity around the lawsuit has made our single shoot up the charts again. A bunch of people who who had been promised record deals from them started looking at Silent Beats. Rather than go through another bruising publicity battle with Aidan O’Brien, Five-Star is quietly letting people out of their contracts. Even some big-name stars who were downsized from bigger labels during the conglomeration deals are coming on board.”
Jude looks at me and shakes his head slightly. “I’ve been with Aidan for a while, and sometimes times were pretty lean. I can’t say I’m sorry to see that sometimes karma bites back hard.”
“Even though that one turned out okay, you can see why I’m afraid to open the mail. They still haven’t found out who was funding Creepy Stalker Dude. Maybe this is from Creepy Stalker Dude version 2.0. Maybe his private benefactor moved to another person?”
Jude leans over the bed and kisses me soundly. After he breaks away, he says, “Tasha, you are working on an important project with Aidan. I would not interrupt you to deliver a letter from a stalker. I love you. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. I thought these two letters might make your day go a little better. Take a look at who they’re from.”
“Hopefully, it’s a sign our luck is turning around,” Jude remarks as he sits down on the bed next to me. “Hurry up! Open them.”
“Now who’s anxious to open the mail? I thought I was the only one. Which one should I open first?” I ask as I gingerly handle the envelopes.
“I don’t know. Do you have a stronger feeling about one over the other?” Jude asks.
“I wish. It’d be nice if I was like Tara and I had some sort of premonition about the future — but unfortunately, I’m totally clueless.”
“Is there one school you’d like to get into over the other?”
“Both have their pluses and minuses, they’re about equal.” I lift one letter and then the other, trying to gauge the weight.
Jude takes the ink pen I was using to mark up my lyric sheet from behind my ear. “Well, that settles it. You’ll have to resort to the tried-and-true method I always used in high school to determine what order I did my homework in.”
The expression on Jude’s face is filled with mischief, so I have to ask, “Don’t keep me in suspense … what is this tried-and-true method?”
Jude takes the envelopes from my hands and places them face down on the bed as he mixes them around a bit. “It’s easy. You just place your choices on the bed and then you throw your pen at them. Whichever one is closest to your pen is the one you start with. It works every time.”
“Is that how you decide which bus to clean first when we come back from a long tour too?” I ask with a snicker, remembering a scene in front of the studio when I saw him throwing a windshield cleaning sponge near the buses.
Jude shrugs as he admits, “Sometimes.” When he sees my expression, he grins ruefully and explains, “Why should I mess with the system which works for me?”
I take a drink from my water bottle. “I guess it’s as good a method as any — knock yourself out.”
I’m trying to stay calm and act like this is no big deal, but somewhere in those envelopes is the key to my future. Part of me is ready to face it, but the other part of me wants to put it off as long as possible. What if the admissions committees decided I’m not a good candidate to be a nurse? What if all the time I’ve spent in the public eye works against me?
Jude makes great ceremony out of throwing the pen. Much to my surprise, it lands right in the middle of one of the envelopes. As I turn it over, it’s the one from the University of Washington. Of the two envelopes I received today, this is the farthest away from Jude.
Jude sees my shaking hands and asks, “Do you need me to open it?”
I nod. “I don’t know why this is so scary. It’s what I’ve wanted to do for as long as I can remember. Why is it so traumatic to trade one dream for another?”
“Any time we take a new journey, it’s scary,” Jude assures me gently as he opens the letter.
He starts to hand it to me, but I freeze up and push it back toward him. “You read it. I’m afraid it’s bad news.”
As I impatiently wait, Jude studies the letter for what seems like forever before he says, “They loved your application and your personal story. Your test scores were really solid.”
His words hit me like blows to my chest as I ask hollowly, “What are you not telling me?”
“Sirena, I’m so sorry. The timing was just wrong for this year,” he replies gently. But the look on his face tells me he would rather be doing something else, anything else — even going to the dentist for a root canal. He looks positively miserable. This was not how it was supposed to happen. I search his face to see if I can figure out more clues, but he looks almost as hurt and confused as I feel.
“What does that even mean? What am I going to do now?” I sob.
Jude gathers me into a hug and holds me quietly for a few minutes. When my breathing evens out he says, “It’s only one letter. You have others pending. Even this letter isn’t all bad news. They were so impressed with your application they’d like you to apply again next year. It was a timing issue. You got a late start that’s all.”
“I don’t even want to read the letter from OHSU. It’s the school closest to us, and I was hoping I’d be able to stay close to home.”
“Tasha, before I open this, I need to know if you understand that whether you get into school or you don’t, you’re still amazing. If we have to wait a year or two until we have everything organized in our lives, then we’ll do it. If I have to go somewhere and pump gas or pick strawberries to make it possible for you to succeed, I can do that too. It’s nothing I haven’t done before. The point is I love you for who you are, not for what you do. We’ll figure this out.”
I study Jude’s intense expression and realize how often our roles have changed. When we first met, I was the cheerleader, the instigator, and the coach. Yet more often than not, Jude plays those same roles in my life now as he helps provide balance and stability when things are uncertain.
I take a deep breath and let it out as I choke back tears. “I have to tell you — I am one of the most blessed people I know. Most people don’t get the chance to live one dream, and I’m on the cusp of living two. It means the world to know you’ll support me whatever path I choose. I guess maybe it’s a good thing Aidan wouldn’t accept my resignation from the tour. If the first letter is any indication, I might not be needing to use that option for a while,” I add with a watery smile.
“Something tells me Aidan will not be entirely sad about your decision.”
I shrug as I respond, “The upside is we could still do that Live Tour Album. I might need the money for school.”
“Why is my iPad ringing?” I mutter to myself as I struggle to sit up in bed and grab the tablet Jude got me for my birthday. He’s right, the songwriting applications are cool. Yet, most of the time, I still use my pen and paper.
I haphazardly stick my headphones on as I answer the FaceTime call.
Hayden laughs at me when she sees my face pop up on her screen.
“Are those Little Mermaid pajamas? I thought you were a grown-up. This is not your most glamorous look,” she chastises. “Maybe next time, I’ll have to do a makeover on you.”
“Very funny. Of course I’m not at my most glamorous, it’s not even ten o’clock in the morning. What do you expect?” I answer as I yawn.
“Ten o’clock in the morning is late,” Hayden says. “What planet do you live on?”
“I live on the planet where I was performing until two o’clock this morning and we had three encores,” I explain as I try to run my fingers through my hair. Darn it, I forgot to wash the hairspray out of my hair last night before I collapsed into bed. This is going to be a nightmare.
“Oh, sorry. I forgot you guys had a gig last night,” Hayden replies.
“Speaking of that, why aren’t you in school?” I ask when my brain engages.
Hayden shrugs. “Some district in-service day.”
“Lucky you,” I murmur, rubbing my eyes.
“You won’t be performing much longer, right? What school are you going to go to? Have you decided yet? I want to come visit you at college.”
I sigh as I respond, “Well, you’ll have to wait a while longer. I guess I won’t be going to school this year.”
“Why? You showed me your application stuff, and I thought it looked great. Are they making a big deal of the fact that you are a performer? If they are, it’s not fair,” Hayden huffs indignantly.
“Thank you for saying that — but I don’t have anyone to blame for this except me. I was so afraid of making the people around me upset I sat on my applications for a long time before I was brave enough to fill them out and send them in. As a result, I was too late for this school year. One school liked me so much they’ll give me priority consideration for next year, and two schools wait-listed me for this year if I want to enroll s
tarting winter term, but I’d be out of sync with the rest of my classmates. I talked to a couple of the advisors, and they said it would probably be best if I waited to start next fall.”
“I know I should be sad for you, but in a weird way I’m not,” Hayden says.
I wrinkle my nose as I reply sarcastically, “Gee, thanks … I think.”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that. I just think Jude isn’t quite ready to fly on his own yet, so it’s a good thing you’ll be around for a little while longer. But don’t tell him I said that — I don’t want him to get his feelings hurt. I think he’s amazing, but I think he’s a little too shy.”
I chuckle at Hayden’s assessment of my boyfriend. “Hayden, it’s all right. I think Jude would be the first person to agree with you. He’s gotten much better, but he still isn’t super comfortable performing in front of people and he’s even less at ease meeting fans one on one. He hasn’t ever gotten used to the fact that most everyone thinks he’s sexy and handsome.”
“Do you think he would be okay with meeting my cousin Juliann again? Because guess what?” she quizzes me enthusiastically. “For my birthday I get to come see you in concert wherever you are. Isn’t it cool? My immune system has built back up to the point where I can go in public again, so my mom said I can choose a concert and take Juliann with me. I decided I wanted to see you and Jude.”
I laugh out loud as I say, “You do realize that Jude and I aren’t headlining this concert tour, right? It’s actually Aidan’s tour. We just help him out.”
“Okay, so that might be technically true, but Juliann and I still think you guys are the best part of the act. I like Aidan O’Brien okay, but he’s not you.”
“In case I haven’t mentioned it today, can I tell you that you are quite possibly my favorite fan?” I blow her a kiss over the computer.
Jude’s Song (A Hidden Beauty Novel Book 7) Page 19
