by Jacob Wenzel
“What about Mordred?”
“Who?”
“Mordred, Arthur's bastard son by his half-sister Margawse.”
“Never heard of them, Arthur's only sisters were Elaine and the wicked Morgan le Fay.”
“Now you spoke of le Fay as if she were still alive, also.”
“Same thing, just as there must always be an Arthur, there also must always be Morgan, the outside threat to our peace, against which our people will unite. I trust that you will never speak of this to anyone else.”
“We promise that we will never say a word as long as we're here, which is only a few weeks.” William said, and Sally nodded.
“And then you shall go home?”
“No, we will be traveling to many strange lands, before we return home.”
“If you want strange lands, you should go to France sometime.” Bedivere said.
Sally interjected, “William and I are from different lands, so we are not even sure which land we will call home, when we are finished with our travels.”
“Whichever land you choose, I believe you will find happiness, I can see the love you have for each other in your eyes. But now, we should be on to the rescue of the distressing damsel.” he chuckled.
They rode the way they had been directed until they came to a cottage that was only a few miles west of the village, there was shouting coming from within. As they dismounted, an attractive, buxom young woman stormed out of the cottage, and a lanky young man came out behind her, at first they did not seem to notice the three riders in armor.
“Elsie! Come Back, I love you! What did I do wrong?”
She shouted back, “Can't you understand? It's not you, it's me! I love you, Geoffrey, but that's not enough, it can never be enough with just you, or anyone else. I love you, but I love them, too, I..need ... them.”
“Them who?”
“All of them, the whole town! I'm not complete without them. I'm going back.”
She turned to Bedivere, William and Sally, “Can you give me a ride home? My village isn't far from here.”
William said, “That is the very reason we are here.” He held out his hand, and she climbed behind him on the horse. They rode away with Geoffrey following on foot. They had not ridden more than fifty yards, before Sally noticed that Elsie was touching William in ways that she preferred having exclusive rights to, William also seemed uncomfortable.
“Stop,” William said, “Perhaps it would be better if you rode with Sally.”
Elsie dismounted, and climbed on behind Sally. They had not ridden more than another fifty yards, before she was touching Sally in ways that only William had touched her before. She was even more uncomfortable than when Elsie was touching William that way.
“Stop,” Sally shouted, “Perhaps you should ride with Bedivere.”
Elsie switched horses once again, and was soon touching Bedivere in ways he hadn't been touched in a long time, no one was uncomfortable, and they did not have to stop again.
When they reached the town Elsie asked Bedivere, “Do you have place to stay? I have plenty of room.”
Bedivere, without hesitation, said, “As a matter of fact, I am in need of night's lodging, I would be delighted to stay with you.”
Elsie turned to William and Sally, “What about the two of you, I easily have room for all of you.”
William said, “Uh.. no.. that's alright.”
Sally added, “We've made other arrangements for the night, but thank you for your kind offer.”
“Suit yourself, you don't know what you're missing.”
As Elsie and Bedivere walked toward her cottage, Sally could hear their conversation, “So, is it true what they say about knights?”
“What do they say?”
“You know.”
“Oh, that, yes, that's true.. very true.”
“Oh, fun, I can't wait.” Elsie said as they went inside.
William turned to Sally, “What other plans do we have?”
“We have plans not to spend the night in this town, there's something about this place that makes me uncomfortable. Let's find a place a few miles away, I believe that Geoffrey will be here shortly, so there is a quaint little cottage that will be unoccupied.”
“Sounds better than sleeping on the ground. Let's go.”
They passed Geoffrey, who was going toward the village. William said, “I hope he doesn't get too upset about Belvedere.”
“Bedivere,” said Sally, “and it's beyond our control.”
They rested, and ate a dinner from the pre-prepared food Bob had packed for them.
“You know William, when Elsie was touching you, I did find myself becoming somewhat aroused.”
“You don't want to go back to the town, do you?”
“No, I was just aroused by the thought of me touching you that way, here...”
They made love with an intensity they had never felt before.
In the morning, Sally found herself missing the shower in the Winnie. They were able to clean up a bit in a small creek that flowed past the cottage, but even with the soap they had brought, she didn't feel quite clean enough. She wondered how she had ever got along without showers before she had met William.
They rode back to the village, hoping that Bedivere was prepared to depart. They found him still asleep in bed in Elsie's cottage. Elsie was nowhere to be seen. When they tried to wake him, he said, “Please, this is the first sleep I've had, just let me sleep until lunch, and then we can be going.”
They asked a passerby if he had seen Elsie, “I last saw her climbing the bell tower with Geoffrey, Mattie and Freddy, I suspect they won't be down until noon.”
At noon, they found Bedivere was finally awake and dressed, and they went to the tavern for lunch. Bedivere said that he was ready to go and they could be on their way shortly. But, just as they finished their meal, Elsie came into the tavern, “Oh, Bedivere, there you are, I like that name, can I just call you 'Bedi'? Or maybe just 'Bed', ooh, I like that, which reminds me, can you come back to my cottage for a little while, I forgot to show you something.”
Bedivere said to William and Sally, “You'll have to excuse me, my friends, but one of a knight's charges is to provide succor to Damsels in distress, and Elsie is most definitely in distress, duty calls.”
Sally looked at William and said, “You would think that, around here, she could get all the succoring she needs without Bedivere's help.”
“Shall we try again tomorrow?”
“I think we need to go back to the cottage, right now.” Sally said.
“I agree. I feel it too.”
They galloped back to the cottage, and were barely in the door, before they were making love.
Afterward, William said, “When we first met Elsie, I thought she was just a nymphomaniac.”
“What's that?”
“A woman who cannot get enough sex, she's insatiable, to the point of doing it with anybody if the opportunity arises, so to speak. I lost my virginity to a nympho I dated for a few months, it was fun at first, but exhausting, and she was in to some weird stuff.”
“Weird stuff, like..?”
“She wanted to be tied up, which I couldn't do without giggling. Once, we were in a motel, and she looked at me and pleaded, 'Please don't tie me up, please don't tie me up', I said, 'I don't have anything to tie you up with', to which she responded, 'please don't use your belt, please don't use your belt.'”
“What happened?”
“I tied her up with my belt, but I found no pleasure in it. I eventually broke up with her after she spent the night with a coworker.”
“So, you think Elsie is a nymphomaniac?”
“No I think she's something else, men can resist a nympho, if they want to, with Elsie, the men, and apparently, the women, have no resistance, it might be pheromonal, airborne hormones that can affect the subconscious brain, and cause a person to ignore their better judgment.”
“Why weren't we affected?” Sally as
ked.
“Weren't we? Didn't you find yourself aroused when she touched you, or when she touched me, or even when she was just around? We just transferred our arousal to each other, instead of to her. I mean when was the last time we made love like we did just now.”
“Last night, and before that, yesterday afternoon.”
“But, when was the last time before we came here?”
“Never, you've always turned me on, but I've never felt that.. well.. horny before. You think that was from her pheromones.”
“I'm certain of it.” William said.
“Do you think she intentionally entraps them. Why?”
“I don't know if it's intentional, she seems to genuinely love them, all of them, I don't think she can help herself any more than Bedivere or the townspeople.”
“We'd better keep a close eye on Bedivere, if he can't help himself.”
The next day, they found Bedivere in the same condition as the day before, and they started watching Elsie more closely, she would leave Bedivere only when he was exhausted, then she would go out and find someone else, sometimes by chance, sometimes it seems to have been arranged, mostly with one partner, but sometimes with two or three, and as they had already deduced, she was insatiable, as far as they could tell, she never slept, and they weren't even sure that she ever ate. And then one day, they saw her coming down from a hayloft with someone who looked familiar. Elsie ran off to somewhere else, but the man stopped and stretched. Then Sally recognized him, “My god, it's her own father!”
The man stopped, and said excitedly, “Wait, it's not what you think...”
“You're disgusting, “Sally said, “Your own daughter, even in my primitive village that was unthinkable!”
“She's not really my daughter, she wandered into town when she was fifteen, battered and helpless, my wife and I took her in, she was the sweetest girl you could ever meet, then a few years later, she changed, she became like a ravenous beast, a monster, needing more and more, feeding on our affection, and we were helpless to resist, she has total power over us, and any visitors eventually fall under her spell, and they all stay, with no willpower left. You two must go, before she snares you too, and take your friend with you, he'll come to no good end here.”
William and Sally looked at each other, and ran to Elsie's cottage, where Bedivere was still sleeping, William, wearing the battlesuit armor had no trouble throwing Bedivere over his shoulder, while Sally gathered up his armor, and other possessions, they tied him to his horse, along with his gear, hopped on their horses and headed out of the village, leading Bedivere's horse.
Elsie ran after them, crying, “Come back, you can't leave, no one can leave, it's not allowed.”
Bedivere struggled, but could not loosen his bindings. As they rode away, Sally could still hear Elsie shouting, “Come back!” she also thought she heard several of the men shouting, “More for us!”
As the shouts faded in the distance, Bedivere relaxed, but William did not want to risk loosening his ropes until they were a good twenty miles away. When they finally stopped, and William untied Bedivere's bindings, Bedivere got down on his knees, and said a prayer. When he was finished, he stood, and grabbed both of them and hugged them, “Thank you my friends, for delivering me from that witch, I was weak, and fell under her spell, as have all the townspeople there, but you two were strong, and resisted.”
“Not really,” Sally said, “William and I are soul mates, Elsie made us feel the same way she makes everyone else, including you, feel, we just transferred the feelings to each other, instead of to her. If it had just been one of us, either one, we probably would have been trapped the same way everyone else is.”
“She was a sorceress and it doesn't matter how you resisted, you did resist, and were able to save me from being trapped by my own desires. Although, if I would have to be in a trap, I cannot think of a more pleasurable one.” There was a wistful look in his eyes as he said, “Let us continue on our quest.”
Bedivere rode off, and they followed.
The next day, Bedivere was riding through a forest a few hundred yards ahead of Sally and William, when he rounded a curve in the path. Blocking the way was a mounted knight, with a lance held upright, the knight shouted, “Hullo, fellow knight, I am Sir Dwayne, the Silver Knight, no one may pass unless they meet my challenge.”
“Why are you called the 'Silver Knight'?”
“Perhaps the light here is poor, or your eyesight is failing, my armor is the brightest, most highly polished metal ever seen by man.”
“I think not, it's rather dingy and graying.”
“It is certainly shinier than yours.”
“That may well be, but I am on a quest ordained by Arthur himself, and I care little for the shininess of my armor. Now move aside and let me pass.”
“You have not met my challenge.”
“And what might that be?”
“Declare that my armor is the shiniest you have ever seen, or defeat me in a joust.”
“Your armor is not even the shiniest I have seen this day. It pales in comparison to Sir William or even that of Lady Sally.”
“And who might they...be...” At that moment, Sally and William came into view, the sun reflecting blindingly off their unnaturally shiny armor.
Dwayne was dumbfounded, his jaw and his lance dropped, and he did not seem to notice as Bedivere rode past him. As William and Sally drew closer, he again raised his lance, “Hullo, fellow...er.. knights. I am Sir Dwayne, the.. uh...Grey Knight, none may pass unless they meet my challenge.”
William said, “And what is that?”
“It's to, uh... you must.... uh..., you can't... uhh, oh, screw it, you may pass.”
Later that day, Bedivere suddenly stopped in his tracks, and sniffed the air.
“What is it?” William asked.
“Hydrogen sulfide,” Bedivere said, happy to be able to use the term he had only recently learned, “you know what that means.”
“Rotten eggs?” offered Sally.
Bedivere gleamed, “Or a dragon.”
“A dragon?” asked William.
“What's a dragon?” asked Sally.
“You have no dragons in your strange, far away land?” Bedivere asked.
“Only in legends.” William said, “Most people believe they never existed.”
“Oh, they exist, the very monster that vanished when you appeared was the most vile, ferocious, foul smelling dragon I have ever seen.”
“Have you seen many?” asked Sally.
“One, so far, but I have heard of many more, and if I'm not mistaken, we are about to encounter another, follow me.”
They followed him along a path that led off to the west. A few minutes later they arrived at a cave, where the smell was almost overwhelming.
Bedivere raised his sword, and shouted, “Awaken, dragon, and prepare to die.”
The dragon's head appeared from the shadows, “Excuse me?”
“Prepare to die, dragon, I am here to slay thee.”
“Now why would you want to do that? What do you have against dragons?”
“Dragons are man's mortal enemies, now come out, and die.”
“Mortal enemies? Really? When did that happen? Shouldn't I have received a bulletin or something? Oh, wait a minute, you said 'man's mortal enemies', I get it now, the nuns here and I get along, but there just aren't many men around, and if one gets past me, the nuns chase them away.”
“The nuns?”
“Yes, at the nunnery down this path which I guard.”
“Then you hold the nuns captive.”
“Where are you from, anyway, what would I do with a bunch of captive nuns? They're very nice.”
“You like them?” Bedivere asked.
“Of course I like them, they're my friends, they raised me from a hatchling after my mother was killed.”
At that moment, three women dressed in white robes came the other way on the path, one of them stepped forward, “Dei
rdre, is everything alright? Who are these people?”
“I don't know, Mother Daphne, they're very rude and haven't introduced themselves. This one says he wants to kill me for some reason he hasn't really explained. Those other two seem nicer, but quiet, and their horses smell funny.”
Daphne turned to Bedivere, “Why do you want to kill Dierdre? She's our dragon, our pet and protector, oh, wait a minute, you're one of those awful knights that goes around killing innocent dragons for no reason at all. Just go away, leave us alone.”
“We knights are charged with defending the helpless, and slaying monsters, including dragons.”
“That just doesn't make sense, Dierdre defends the helpless, that would be us, so if you kill her, we would be defenseless, don't you see the contradiction in that?”
Bedivere was obviously confused, Sally rode forward, “Bedivere, can't you just let this one go? Do it for me. Do it for Elsie.”
Bedivere sighed deeply, and put away his sword, and slumped forward, “I can't harm anything while I'm thinking of Elsie, she's ruined me as a knight.”
Sally put her hand on his shoulder, “No, she has made you a better knight, you no longer need to kill things for the sake of killing, I'm sure that the next time you come across something or someone that really needs to be killed, you'll have no trouble.”
Bedivere sat up straight, “You're right, from now on, I will only kill when necessary, I will spare those that are not harmful, in the name of Elsie... oh, and King Arthur, and when I must kill, I will do so willingly in the name of King Arthur... and Elsie.”
Daphne was impressed with the knight's change, and invited all three of them to dine, and spend the night at the nunnery, an invitation which they gladly accepted.
After supper, Daphne, who was the Mother Superior, broke the silence, “The three of you have the look of those on a mission, and why is such a beautiful woman wearing knight's armor?”
Sally said, “William and I are wandering travelers, who have had the good fortune to be welcomed by Sir Bedivere to join his quest, for the duration of our stay in this land.”
