“I know. But I swear I don’t even know who you are!” he laughed. “We would never have had this conversation two months ago.” He reached his hand out and took Ayanna’s. “I’m proud of you Yan, for doing this and getting the ball rolling. I have no idea if it will work, but I’m glad I’m not doing this alone. Shit, I can’t believe how nervous I am.”
“Ditto.” She grabbed his hand. “Well, like I said we may never be the best of friends with them, but we should be able to have a family dinner without fighting, right? I mean, fuck, we should be able to handle that much.” She took a deep breath. “Alright, troops. Let’s regroup and strategize. How are we going to make it through dinner without committing homicide or suicide? Do we need more wine?” she joked.
Dev linked his arm through hers and sighed. “Wine is a good friend of mine. In fact, is that my good friend right over there?” he asked pointing to the glass of wine on the counter.
“Here ya go,” Jonathan said handing it to him. “Time to fortify.”
Both Ayanna and Dev looked at each other with an ‘oh well, here we go’ kind of look, then chuckled.
“Don’t worry. Mom and Dad will be on good behavior. We have an outsider with us. They would never want anyone to know that we weren’t the perfect little family,” Dev said.
The buzzer on the intercom rang.
Ayanna let go of a breath, then turned to Jonathan. “Would you mind putting these in a vase for me? There’s one in the cupboard right over there,” she said giving him the flowers and pointing to a cabinet. Then she looked at both of the men in her life and said, “Here goes nothing.”
……
Wansa and Ina Sarin stood at the threshold of Ayanna’s apartment as she opened the door. They were both dressed in professional garb, her mom in a navy skirt suit, and her dad in slacks and a button down shirt with a tie. She couldn’t remember ever having seen them in a pair of jeans. They always looked like they were dressed to conquer the world.
Both were attractive and in their early 50’s. Their kids took after them in looks and stature. Her mom stood at the same height as Ayanna, her glossy hair cut in a sleek bob just touching her jaw line. She had exotic eyes and was a beautiful woman. Her father was just under six feet tall and was trim and fit, looking very much like an older version of her brother.
Ayanna stepped back to let them in, while saying with a sincere yet nervous smile, “Hi guys.”
“Hi Yannie,” they said, each giving her kisses on the cheek. The use of her childhood nickname caused a lump to form in her throat.
They walked in and checked out the place, commenting on the desirable building and location. Before they got very far in the door, Dev walked in from the kitchen with Jonathan close behind him.
“Dev,” their mom said, shooting a glance at Jon but walking up to her son. “It’s good to see you.” She leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. Her dad walked over and shook his hand.
Her mom looked at Ayanna inquisitively then smiled toward Jonathan.
“Mom, Dad, this is Jonathan White. We met through Ryann. Jonathan teaches Business and Finance at the Academy where Ryann used to work before leaving for the Institute.”
Her mom stepped forward and shook Jonathan’s hand. “Hi, Jonathan. It’s nice to meet you.”
Her dad followed suit. “Jonathan,” he nodded then put out his hand. “Nice to meet you. Have you and Ayanna known each other long?” It was obvious he was confused at Jonathan’s presence there.
Before Ayanna could respond, Jonathan beat her to it.
“We’ve known each other for a couple of months and have recently started dating, Dr. Sarin. I actually live in the building a couple of floors up.” He reached over and linked his hand with Ayanna’s, then turned back to her dad. “I hope you don’t mind me crashing the party, but I wanted to meet you both. It’s been a pleasure getting to know your daughter. She’s wonderful.”
O-kay. That was absolutely the first time a man had said that to her parents. She couldn’t tell if she was thrilled, terrified, or both.
Her dad looked like he’d been hit over the head with a two by four, and her mom raised an eyebrow but looked pleased. Meanwhile, Dev cleared his throat obviously trying to cover up a chuckle. Ayanna took a deep breath and continued with the introductions.
“Mom, Jon’s dad is a judge up in Boston. His mom is a middle school math teacher.” Ayanna almost cringed at how she sounded, like she was reciting his resume to prove to them that Jonathan was worthy. As if Jon sensed her mental castigations, he squeezed her hand.
“Really?” Again, her mom looked pleased. “Those are both honorable professions.”
Ayanna inwardly rolled her eyes. It was such a typical thing her mother would say.
“Dad,” Ayanna continued, “Jon just came back from Boston this past Thursday. His mom had a heart attack a couple of weeks ago, but thankfully she pulled through.”
She could hear her mom make a sympathetic sound and her dad immediately said, “I’m so sorry to hear that. Did she have surgery?”
“Yes sir, a triple bypass. She’s at home recovering now.”
“Good, good,” Dr. Sarin said, nodding.
“Why don’t I get us some drinks?” Ayanna asked. “Come on in and make yourselves comfortable.” After she took the drink orders, she went to the kitchen, taking deep breaths the whole time.
When she returned with the drinks, her mom took her wine glass and said, “I was just saying that the saris look pretty around the room. It’s not what you usually see in someone’s apartment, but you always were our free spirit.”
Ayanna couldn’t tell whether she was being complimented or insulted, so she just nodded.
“Ryann had already painted the place, and I thought my collection would look nice with the paint color. Did you see Ammie’s over there?” It was hanging by one of the windows.
Her mom looked startled then looked over to see her own mother’s sari. She nodded slowly, getting a faraway look in her eyes.
“I almost feel like she’s here. It smells like you’ve cooked something she would make.”
“I’m making her fried potato and chicken dish.”
Her mom got a wistful smile on her face. “It’s been a very long time since I’ve had it.”
“Well, I hope I do it justice. The chicken will be ready in a few minutes, so I should go finish the potatoes.” She was about to leave when her father’s voice stopped her.
“I’m sure it will be wonderful,” her father said. Then he cleared his throat and continued, “We may not have always agreed with your career path, Yannie, but there’s no doubt that you have culinary talent.”
Ayanna blinked. This would be a night for firsts, apparently. She couldn’t remember a time when her father had praised her.
“Thanks, Dad,” she said, her voice husky.
“So, Ayanna tells me you two are celebrating an anniversary. How many years have you two been married?” Jonathan asked.
“30 years tomorrow.”
“Wow! That’s great. My parents celebrated 32 years a couple of months ago.”
Her parents nodded and smiled. The conversation was getting a little stilted, but hey, they didn’t usually talk to her boyfriends, so she was willing to cut them some slack. It was as if they were all trying to feel their way through the dark or something.
“I’m going to finish up the potatoes. We should be ready to eat in 15 minutes. Can I refresh drinks for anyone?”
They all said they were fine, but Dev got up to go with her to the kitchen.
“Jon, do you need anything?” Ayanna asked, not sure if she should leave him alone with her parents.
“I’m great, baby. You guys go ahead,” he said with a reassuring smile, then turned back to her parents to start up another conversation.
As she and Dev left him alone with their parents, Ayanna felt a little guilty. But he was a big boy and he didn’t have the baggage she and Dev had. He really was wonderful, able to talk wit
h just about anybody. When they got to the kitchen, Dev immediately complimented her on her choice of man.
“He’s incredible, Yan. Smart, good conversationalist, sexy conservative, which they’ll love.”
“Should I feel bad that I left him alone with them?”
“Somehow I think he can take care of himself.”
“He can. That’s one of the things I love about him.”
Dev looked at her lovingly. “How are things going between you two.”
“Off the charts good,” she said with a giddy smile. “He’s fucking amazing.”
“His fucking is amazing? Or he’s fucking amazing?” Dev snorted.
“Both,” and they laughed.
She and Dev continued to talk in the kitchen while she finished up the potatoes, marveling at how well the night was going so far.
“I don’t want to jinx it,” he said. “I can’t believe Dad complimented your cooking,” he said in a dramatic whisper. “I nearly fell out of my chair, but I thought they’d accuse me of drinking too much.”
Ayanna chuckled. “I was a little surprised, too, to be honest. Did you see my face? I couldn’t believe it.”
“Well, I guess we gotta start somewhere.”
“Yup.” Then she paused and said, “And I think once we all get a little more comfortable with each other, you should come out to them soon,” she said quietly. “I hate that you fuckin’ can’t be yourself around them.”
He sighed. “I know, Yan. Just let me do this my way, okay? I don’t know if I’m ready to hear that I’m a degenerate and a freak of nature,” he mumbled.
“You know I would have your back and defend you to the end. And I know they’re of a different generation and culture, but dad’s a doctor for fuck’s sake. I can’t believe he would think it was a choice or anything. They both must work with people who are gay. We all do. This is New York City. It’ll be hard at first for them, but they must know you’re not straight. I mean you’ve never had a girlfriend in your life. How stupid can they be?” she asked as she continued finishing up the potato dish in the pan.
“Just give me a little more time. I need to think it all through. You have no idea how hard it is, Yan.”
She stopped what she was doing and looked at him sympathetically. “You’re right. I don’t. I love you and I don’t mean to push you. I just can’t wait for you to finally be yourself around them.”
“What if they disown me?” he asked in a small voice. He sounded like a lonely little boy.
She hugged him fiercely. “Then fuck ’em, Dev. It’ll be you and me, and you know what? So be it. They’d miss out on the best things in their lives.”
“You’re the best thing in my life, you know. I mean, you’re a bitch on wheels, but I’ll keep ya.”
“I love you, Devvie,” she whispered furiously.
“Right back at ya.”
The beeper on the oven sounded and the two of them broke away looking at each other as only two lost souls could. The love she felt for her brother at that moment overwhelmed her. She wanted him to be happy and whole, and she knew until he came out to his parents those inklings of doubt and fear would always be with him.
Over the next couple of minutes, Ayanna brought the food out and had everyone find their places around the table. Her mom had commented on the artistry of the table top.
“Ryann’s boyfriend made it for me. He’s an art dealer, but does carpentry on the side. It’s a beaut, isn’t it?”
“The craftsmanship is exquisite,” her mom said, running her hand over the wood and detail along the sides.
“I can’t imagine a world without artists, or creative types,” Jonathan said. “My parents would take my brother and me to the museum several times a year to teach us about different painters and sculptors. I don’t know how much I really appreciated it back when I was 10, but as an adult I’m grateful that they took me as often as they did.”
“I loved the opera when I was a teenager.”
Both Ayanna and Dev nearly got whiplash when their mother spoke.
“You did?”
“Really?”
She and Dev responded at the same time.
Ina looked a little embarrassed, as if she were baring her soul to a room full of strangers.
In a way, she was.
“Yes. I loved the stories they told, and the sounds that people were able to make with their voices were like what I thought heaven would sound like.”
Ayanna and Dev exchanged looks of surprise then Ayanna shook herself out of her shock and took her mom’s plate.
“Well, let me get things served.”
“It looks just like Ammie’s,” Dev said.
“It does look just like hers. But will it taste like hers, is the question,” her mom teased.
Did her mom just make a joke? Stop the presses.
“You taste first, Ina, and see how she did,” her father smiled.
Shit. Now she was nervous. Everything was so surreal at the moment. She felt like she was having an out of body experience watching people sit around the table having a normal family dinner.
Jonathan reached for her hand under the table and squeezed.
Her mom took a bite and closed her eyes. After a moment she opened them and Ayanna was surprised to see tears swimming in them. Ina nodded and cleared her throat, appearing to erect a protective wall. Then she looked at Ayanna.
“It’s very good, Yannie. It tastes just like hers,” she said quietly.
Ayanna couldn’t have heard a better compliment.
“Thanks,” she smiled, watching her mom. Then, “Okay then folks. Let’s dig in.”
She served everyone else and took off her apron to join them. They fell into a comfortable silence enjoying the meal.
Eventually, the conversation at the table rolled around to Dev’s endeavors to be a dentist and the exams he needed to take in order to move forward in getting his license. As they were finished up eating, her parents expressed an interest in how the catering business was going, so the conversation moved into Ayanna’s food blog and The Local Yokel.
“It’s going well. Janie and I are a good team and we now have a few events under our belts. Things are going smoothly,” Ayanna said. She was afraid that if they talked much more about it, her parents would find something to complain about, so she changed the subject.
“Jonathan used to work on Wall Street a few years ago. He consults on the side and during the summers. In fact, he just helped me with my portfolio.” She looked at him, begging him with her eyes to help steer the conversation away from her.
He wasn’t going for it at the moment.
“There wasn’t much I needed to do. Your daughter is brilliant,” he said to her parents. “She’s made great financial decisions over the years. All from teaching herself. Not many people are able to do that, so I didn’t need to teach her much at all.”
Jonathan let that comment hang, and took a sip of his wine.
“That’s good to hear,” her mom murmured.
Feeling uncomfortable, Ayanna got up to clear the table. “Why don’t you guys have a seat in the living room and I’ll clean up a bit and get the dessert ready.”
Normally she would wait awhile before serving dessert, but they’d already made it an hour without incident and she didn’t want to push her luck.
“I’ll help,” Jonathan said, getting up with her.
“Me, too,” Dev said, appearing anxious about being left alone with their parents.
What a screwed up pair they were.
“No, I’ll help,” her mom said. “You boys sit with Wansa. I’ll help Yannie.”
The guys looked at Ayanna waiting for her reaction, and finally she said, “Okay.”
She and her mom gathered the plates and walked into the kitchen. As soon as the plates were on the counter, her mom opened the dishwasher and began loading.
“You’ve never invited us to your place for dinner before.”
Her mom’s comment surp
rised her. She’d almost sounded disappointed.
“I’ve never had a place of my own to make a dinner for all of us.”
Her mom nodded then continued. “You and Jonathan seem good together,” her mom said casually. “He’s a good balance for you.”
Ayanna remembered the same comment from Ryann. Apparently everyone thought she was a little off kilter.
Her mom continued. “Things are going well with him?”
Ayanna stopped until her mother looked at her. “I’m in love with him.”
Her mom hesitated, then smiled softly and nodded. “I can tell. He’s a very nice man.”
Ayanna’s heartbeat was pounding in her chest. “He is. He’s not just a nice man, he’s a good man. The best man I’ve ever known. And for the record, he’s the only man I’ve ever been in love with.” She took a moment for that to settle in and then got out a Tupperware to put away the leftover food. When she was cleaning out the casserole dish, she said quietly, “He accepts me. Warts and all.”
Her mom nodded again. “I can see why that would be important to you.” She paused then continued, “You’re different. Softer. I noticed when you called last week, too.”
Ayanna took a deep breath and wiped her hands on a towel, closing the Tupperware lid. It was time to have this conversation, it seemed.
“Mom, I’ve been doing some thinking. Hear me out before you react, okay?”
Her mother tensed a little but nodded.
“We’ve never been close. And I know you don’t really love me the way most moms do their daughters. I know I wasn’t the daughter you wanted. But I’m the one you’ve got.”
“Oh, Yannie,” her mother began, her face looking sad.
“Let me finish,” she held up her hand. “I don’t ever expect us to be best buds, Mom, but I think we need to take a look at this relationship. With everything that’s been going on in my life these past couple of months, I’m reminded that life is short. I don’t want to get a call one day saying that you’ve had a heart attack and we have unsaid things between us.”
Redemption (Iris Series) Page 27
