I wrap my arms around Noah’s neck, holding on for dear life because I can’t quite convince myself that keeping him is the right thing to do. My mother’s face keeps swimming before my eyes. I breathe him in, enjoying the feel of his hands pressed to my lower back and the steady beat of his heart against my chest. What I wouldn’t give to bottle this moment up and pull it out later, when I’m lonely and missing him. If only Nova were here, the night would be perfect.
But it’s a good thing she’s not, because when the song ends, I stop swaying and slowly step back. Wrapping his hand in mine, I lead Noah off of the dance floor and back outside to the courtyard.
Once we’re alone, and out of earshot, I look up at him. “I love you so much.”
Noah opens his mouth, probably to repeat those three little words, but I can’t bear to hear them, not when I’m still so unsure about our future. I know I love him, but I’m still not convinced I can put all my baggage on him.
I press a finger to his lips. “Just let me get this out, okay?”
His eyes cloud, but he nods.
Removing my finger, I place my hand over his heart. “You taught me more about love than anyone else in my life, and I’ll cherish that forever. You were my first true love, Noah Cunningham, and you’ll be my last, because I know I’ll never feel for another man what I feel for you,” I vow, my voice shaky.
“Lennon—”
“But I don’t know if we can be together.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat, unable to suppress my tears. The look on Noah’s face tears me apart, but I won’t let that stop me.
“This is my life, Noah,” I say holding my hands out. “I’m leaving New York; I can’t stay here. But it doesn’t matter where I go, or what I do—I can’t change where I came from or who I am. And when my father and Mr. Morgan get elected, things will only get worse. There will be paparazzi and cameras and reporters. I can’t bring that craziness into your life…into Nova’s life.”
Noah’s eyes grow wide, his grip on me tightening.
My chin trembles, and I swipe a finger under my eyes. “She deserves so much more than that. You both do.” My voice cracks, but I keep going. “My past will be shoved into our faces. They’ll undoubtedly compare me to Kim, and what is that going to do to Nova? She’ll end up hating me, and I won’t be able to live with myself.”
Noah grips my hands. “She could never hate you. She loves you. We both love you.” His words are quick, and his desperation slices through my chest. “This is nothing. We can handle this. Our relationship is so much stronger than you’re giving it credit for.”
I shake my head and Noah quickly grabs it, stopping me. “Yes, it is. It’s so strong. I know I didn’t give you that impression, because I was stupid, but you have to believe me. You have to believe in us. We can make this work.”
My body sags, along with my heart and my soul. “I can’t ask that of you,” I whisper, removing his hands from my face. “I’m doing what’s best for you and Nova.”
“No,” he shouts. “You leaving will never be what’s best for my family. You are what’s best for us.” He pulls me in close, fear in his eyes. “Let them throw it in our face, let them dig up dirt and write story after story. I don’t give a damn. Honestly, I don’t think it’ll come to that. But if it does, we’ll face it together because we’re stronger together.”
I have to look away as tears roll down my face. “You say that now—”
“I’ll say it always,” he interjects, tilting my face up. “We’re good together, Lennon. You’re it for me. I don’t care about anything else. I don’t care about your name or your past; I care about you.
“I’m sorry, Lennon. I hate myself for letting you walk away. I hate that I wasn’t strong enough to believe you right away, but I can’t take that back. We can’t rewind time, but I promise I’ll never doubt you again. Please don’t doubt yourself. Don’t doubt us.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. “Please don’t apologize.”
“Do you believe me?” he whispers, cupping my face in his hands.
I nod, shakily.
“Open your eyes and look at me,” he pleads.
I open my eyes and see all of the love I’m feeling shining back at me. “I believe you. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. God, Noah, I can’t apologize for that enough.”
“No more, baby.” He kisses me softly—once, twice, and then a third time. “No more apologies. I just need you. You’re the missing piece in my and Nova’s life, and I won’t replace you.”
With Noah standing in front of me, professing his love and promising to stand by me, all of the reasons I had for staying away from him seem to fade. Because I feel the same way. Noah and Nova are the missing pieces in my life.
“Lennon.”
I blink, focusing on Noah’s voice and his strong body pressed against mine. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I’m thinking I don’t want Nova to grow up the way I did—hiding behind every corner, spending her days in a stuffy house to avoid the cameras when she should be out having fun, being a kid. I don’t want her to have to deal with the media and accusations and rumors—”
As the words come out of my mouth, I finally allow myself to believe Noah and I can make this work.
“But I won’t let that happen, because I’m not my parents,” I finish. “I’ll protect her and shield her and teach her better than my parents ever did. They’ve shown me what not to do.”
Relief passes over Noah’s face, and his brown eyes go liquid. He pulls my mouth to his, but this time it isn’t sweet or innocent. His tongue plunges deep, battling my own.
Claiming me.
Claiming us.
Breathless, I look at Noah. “Are you sure you want to do this? You’re sure you want to put up with everything I could bring?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything. I love you, Lennon.”
My body relaxes with relief against his. “I love you too. So much.”
“Does this mean you’re coming home with me? Because that’s where you belong.”
“I love the sound of that. And yes, I’ll come home with you. But I can’t leave right now.”
His smile fades. “What do you mean?”
“I need to stay here to clean up and finalize distribution of all the donations.”
The thought of him getting on a plane and going to Texas without me is devastating.
“When does your flight leave? Can you stay with me tonight?” I ask.
Noah shakes his head. “I can’t. I have to get back, and Mikey already booked our flights.” I pout, and he chuckles. “Stay. Finish up whatever it is you need to finish, and then come home to me.” His voice drops seductively low. “But don’t take too long, because I can’t wait to get you naked.” His eyes rake up and down my body. “Make sure you bring that dress with you too. It’s fucking sexy, and all I can think about is stripping you out of it.”
Oh God, I want that too. So bad. If there weren’t people out there counting on me, I’d be tempted to let him take me right here.
“I’ll bring the dress.”
“And the heels,” he adds, kissing his way down my neck. “I want them digging into my back when I fuck you.”
I nod. “Definitely the heels.”
His warm lips trail over my collarbone. My nipples are peaked, pressing against the soft material of my dress, and I cry out when Noah slips a hand through the front slit of my skirt to finger the edge of my thong.
“Next time, no underwear,” he whispers, claiming my mouth once more.
Someone clears their throat, startling me, and I pull away.
“Noah, dude, what are you guys doing out here?” Mikey asks. “I hope you’re not fucking her because that’s—you know what? Never mind. I hope you are fucking her, because that’s hot.”
“We’re not fucking,” I say, flatly.
“Too bad.” He looks at me, no doubt taking in my flushed cheeks and puffy lips.
/> “Quit staring at my fucking girl,” Noah says, thumping Mikey in the arm.
“I refuse to apologize. She looks hot in that dress.”
Noah shoves Mikey toward the door. He steps inside and the door slams shut, silencing his laugh.
“Where were we?”
I slide my arms up his chest, fisting his coat in my hands. “You were just about to give me a kiss goodbye.”
Noah crinkles his nose. “I don’t like that word very much.”
“I don’t either. Good thing it’s not really goodbye.”
“No?”
I shake my head. “No. I’m going to finish up here, tie up a few loose ends, and I’ll be back in Heaven before you know it.”
Noah’s answer is to kiss me, and I’m not going to complain because I’ve missed his lips. I’ve missed his whole damn body, and I’m going to work like crazy to get home as soon as I can.
“I’ll call you when my flight lands,” he says.
“I’ll be waiting.”
Noah opens the door to find Mikey still standing there smiling.
“Are we all happy now? Are Mom and Dad back together again? No more fighting?”
Noah and I look at each other and laugh. He leads me down the hall, and we say goodbye one last time by the front entrance. I watch him slide into a taxi, and when I can no longer see the taillights, I rush down the hall and kick my butt into high gear, because I need to be where my heart is.
And my heart is on its way back to Heaven.
I’m fucking exhausted. Mikey and I didn’t step off of the plane until one o’clock this morning, and then we had an hour-long drive home from the airport. I talked to Lennon on the phone for another hour before crawling into bed, and after that I fell into a peaceful sleep. I don’t think I’ve slept that well since before Lennon left.
My heart is at peace because she’s coming home. I’m exhausted and could easily use another ten hours of sleep, but knowing that Lennon and I pushed our way through the storm and have come out on the other side has supplied me with enough momentum to get through my day.
I yawn and roll the windows down to keep myself awake as I drive home after work. I want nothing more than to take a long hot shower before I go pick up Nova. Yawning again, I pull into my driveway and slam on the brakes at the sight of Lennon sitting on my front porch swing. Her hair is blowing in the wind, along with the skirt of her dress, and she’s wearing the most gorgeous smile I’ve ever seen.
Throwing the car in park, I step out and shut the door. Lennon stands, a clear plastic container in her hands. Tucking my hands in my pockets, I lean a hip against my Chevelle, soaking in the sight of Lennon in a pink gauzy dress. It’ll look damn good on my bedroom floor.
“Took ya long enough to get here,” I say.
Tilting her head, Lennon smiles. “I’m pretty sure the three Red Bulls I drank are the only thing keeping me upright. But I’m here.” She holds up the Tupperware. “And I brought you some muffins; thought you might be hungry.”
My eyes rake over her—the soft curve of her hip, her long, toned legs. It’s going to be fun exploring her delectable body, reacquainting myself with every inch. In fact, why wait? Pulling my hands from my pockets, I move toward her. “I don’t like muffins.”
“No? I can make you something else. Pancakes, maybe?” She gives me a playful look.
“I don’t like pancakes.” I move swiftly toward her, and my cock twitches when I see her rub her thighs together.
“Cinnamon rolls?” she asks.
I shake my head. “Nah. Too sweet.”
Lennon’s tongue darts out, wetting her lips. “Bacon?”
“I’m not in the mood for bacon.” In two long strides, I’m on the porch. I take the box from her hand and toss it aside.
“What are you hungry for?” she asks, looking up as I press my body against hers.
I wrap my arms around her waist, savoring the way she melts into me. “You, Lennon. I’m hungry for you.” Angling my head, I slam my lips against hers, and our mouths mold together in a timeless dance. My heart swells with more love than I thought it capable of, and when it’s about to burst, I pull back.
Lennon is panting, her bright blue eyes shining up at me. I see the love in her, and I know…I just know that this is it. She is it. We’ve both had to push past our fears and give love a second chance, but once I discovered the truth about Lennon, I knew I couldn’t have it any other way.
“I love you, Lennon.”
She grins. “Not nearly as much as I love you.”
“Are we going to stand here all day?” Nova asks, tugging on my hand.
“No, just a few more seconds,” I answer, staring at the sign hanging above my boutique.
My boutique: Lennon’s Threads
It’s nestled on the corner of Main Street, two doors down from Charlotte’s shop. Shortly after moving in with Noah, I started looking for a building, and when this little beauty popped up, I snagged it. It’s been months, and I still stare up at the sign in awe every time I walk through the door.
A lot has changed since I moved to Heaven. My father and Mr. Morgan won the election. The media has died down, choosing to focus on my father rather than me, which I’m thankful for. I get the occasional phone call asking for an interview about Children Everywhere, which I’m still managing, with help from Jane. Mathis finally gave up on trying to win me back, and I heard from my mother that he was spotted at the country club with Lizzie. Speaking of my mother, she’s come around…about as much as I think she ever will. We talk from time to time. Our relationship will never be great, but it’s a start in the right direction.
“Come on,” Nova urges, giving my hand another tug. “I want to try that dress on.”
I blink, pulling myself out of my head. “It isn’t your dress. You do know that, right?”
She rolls her eyes, something she’s getting good at. Who knew kids did that at such a young age?
Nova tugs me inside and runs straight for the dress, which is hanging on the children’s rack at the back of the store. It’s cream-colored lace with a pink sash, and it also happens to be a custom-made flower girl dress.
I’ve been lucky. In addition to the contract work I get from several high-end boutiques in New York and L.A., and my work for Trevor Fallon, I’ve had a steady stream of local projects since the day I opened. I use the room in the back to sew and sketch, and the front of the store holds the dresses I’m working on, as well as the ones I have for sale.
“Be careful, Nova. I’m not finished with that yet; I don’t want you to bust a seam.”
“I won’t,” she hollers from one of the dressing rooms.
I’ve used Nova as a mannequin a few times with this particular dress, and she’s taken a liking to it. Who knows, maybe one of these days I’ll get to make her a similar dress for my own wedding. The thought brings a smile to my face.
“You look happy.” Two strong arms wrap around me from behind, and I whip around, smacking Noah in the chest.
“What did I tell you about sneaking up on me?”
“I wasn’t sneaking. The bell above the door rang when I came in. You were just in La-La Land.”
I can’t deny that. La-La Land is a place I find myself in a lot now that I’ve moved in with Noah and Nova. I’m constantly dreaming about getting married and growing our family. Noah and I talk about it all time, and I’m getting antsy.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?” I ask.
“I should, but I brought you a surprise.” Noah turns around, and I gasp when I see him reach for a small black box on my front desk. Heart in my throat, I wait as he brings it to me. Slowly, he opens the box, revealing…
“A cupcake?” It’s a mini cupcake from the bakery next door, Sweetie Pies.
“Yes, it’s your favorite.” His smile falters. “That is your favorite flavor, right? Double chocolate fudge?”
“Of course it is.” Swiping my finger over the icing, I scoop it into m
y mouth. “This would taste better if I could eat it off you,” I whisper before kissing him gently.
Noah groans. Pressing a hand to my lower back, he pulls me against him, pushing his erection against my belly, making sure I understand just how much he likes that idea. I set the cupcake on a side table and lace my arms around his neck.
“Daddy, look!” Nova bursts out of the dressing room.
Noah and I break apart as she spins around.
“Isn’t it pretty?”
“It’s beautiful.” He drops to a knee in front of her, and I smile, watching them talk. “Almost as beautiful as the girl wearing it.”
Nova beams back at him. “It’s a flower girl dress!”
“It is?”
She nods, winking awkwardly at Noah, and it’s cute as hell. “I want one just like this.”
“You do?” he asks, reaching in his pocket. “Well, I think we can make that happen. But first…” Pulling another small black box out of his pocket, still on one knee, Noah turns to me. Nova giggles, jumping up and down, and it takes me a couple of seconds to realize what’s happening.
“Oh my gosh,” I gasp, covering my face with my hands.
“Lennon.” Noah tugs my arm, pulling my hand from my face. “We’ve got something to ask you.”
Overwhelmed with emotion and desperately trying to keep myself composed, I smile.
“Will you marry us?” Nova blurts.
“Yes!” I drop to my knees in front of them, pulling them both into my arms. I kiss Nova first, whispering, “You little sneak.” She giggles and runs off, leaving me alone with Noah.
“Now it’s my turn.” Noah pulls the ring from the box and slips it on my finger. “Lennon Barrick-St. James, will you marry me?”
“Yes.” Cupping his face in my hands, I drop my forehead to his. “Yes. A million times yes.”
“It’s about time we make it official,” he says with a laugh. “You’ve been my fiancée a long time, remember?”
My smile grows wider, remembering the lie that—along with my car—brought me into Noah’s life, permanently, it turns out.
The Truth About Lennon Page 22
