They headed down the path, around the back of the palace to the east side. At least, she was pretty sure it was east, or maybe it was west. Or north. Suddenly she felt all turned around. But whichever way it was, she remembered it from earlier, even though it was a lot darker now, despite the solar lights lining the path.
They were halfway around the building when Vanessa heard a sound on the flagstones behind them and wondered fleetingly if they were being followed. Being an L.A. resident, her first instinct was to immediately whip out her phone in case she needed to dial 911, which was how she realized her cell phone was no longer in her hand. The noise must have been her phone falling onto the path.
She let go of Marcus’s arm and stopped, squinting to see in the dim light.
“What’s wrong,” he asked. “Are you going to be sick?”
She huffed indignantly. “I’m not that drunk. I dropped my phone.”
“Where?”
“A few feet back, I think. I heard it hit the ground.”
They backtracked, scouring the ground for several minutes, but it wasn’t on or even near the path.
“Maybe it bounced into the flower bed,” she said, crouching down to peer into the dense foliage, nearly falling on her butt in the process.
Marcus shook his head, looking grim. “If it did, we’ll never find it at night.”
“Call it!” Vanessa said, feeling rather impressed with herself for having such a brilliant idea in her compromised condition. “When we hear it ring, we’ll know where it is.”
“Right,” he said hooking a thumb in the direction of the pool. “I’ll go fish my phone out of the water and do that.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Can’t you borrow one?”
“Or we could look for your phone tomorrow.”
“No!” Maybe he could blithely toss his electronic equipment away, but she worked for a living. Nor did she have a secretary to keep track of her life. “Besides the fact that it cost me a fortune, that phone is my life. It has my schedule and all my contacts and my music. What if it rains, or an animal gets it or something?”
He sighed loudly. “Wait here and I’ll go get a phone.”
She frowned. “By myself, in the dark?”
“I assure you the grounds are highly guarded and completely safe.”
“What about that certain criminal element who would love to ransom the future queen?”
He smiled sheepishly. “Maybe that was a slight exaggeration. You’ll be fine.”
She’d expected as much. He’d been trying to drive her away, to make her want to leave. And as much as it annoyed her, she couldn’t hold it against him. Not after all the nice things he’d said about her. Which she supposed was a big part of her problem. Someone said something nice about her and she went all gooey.
“You should stay in the general vicinity of where you lost it,” Marcus warned her. “Or this could take all night.”
“I’ll stay right here,” she said, flopping down on the path cross-legged to wait, the flagstone still warm from the afternoon sun.
Marcus grinned and shook his head. She watched as he backtracked from where they’d come, until he disappeared around a line of shrubs.
She sat there very still, listening to sounds of the night—crickets chirping and a mild breeze rustling the trees. And she swore, if she listened really hard, she could hear the faint hiss of the ocean, that if she breathed deep enough, she could smell the salty air. Or maybe it was just her imagination. Of all the different places her father had been stationed over the years, her favorite bases had been the ones near the water. And while she loved living close to the sea, the coast of California was exorbitantly expensive. Maybe someday. Maybe even here. The palace wasn’t right on the water, but it was pretty darn close.
After a few minutes of waiting, her butt started to get sore, so she scooted off the flagstone path into the cool, prickly grass. Falling backward onto the spongy sod, she looked up at the sky. It was a crystal-clear night with a half moon, and even with the lights around the grounds, she could see about a million stars. In L.A. the only way to see the stars was to drive up to the mountains. She and Mia’s dad used to do that. They would camp out in the bed of his truck, alternating between making love and watching the stars. She couldn’t be sure, but she suspected that Mia may have actually been conceived in the bed of that truck. An unusual place to get pregnant, but nothing about her relationship with Paul had been typical. She used to think that was a good thing, and one of their strengths, because God knew those “normal” relationships she’d had were all a disaster. Until she came home to find a “Dear Vanessa” letter and realized she was wrong. Again. He hadn’t even had the guts to tell her to her face that he wasn’t ready for the responsibility of a child, and they were both better off without him.
So normal was bad, and eccentric was bad, which didn’t leave much else. But royal, that was one she’d never tried, and never expected to have a chance to. Yet here she was. Lying on the palace lawn on a cool summer night under a sky cloaked with stars.
Which she had to admit wasn’t very royal of her. She wondered if Gabriel’s wife, or even Gabriel, had ever sprawled out on the grass and gazed up at the sky. Or skipped in the rain, catching drops on their tongues. Or snowflakes. Had Gabriel and Marcus ever bundled up and built a snowman together? Had they given it coal eyes and a carrot nose? Had they made snow angels or had snowball fights? And would she really be happy married to someone who didn’t know how to relax and have fun, do something silly? Would Mia miss out on an important part of her childhood? Because everyone had to be silly every now and then.
Or was she worrying for nothing? Suffering from a typical case of insecurity? Was she creating problems where none really existed? Was she trying to sabotage a good thing because she was too afraid to take a chance?
So much for her being brave, huh?
She pondered that for a while, until she heard footsteps on the path, and glanced over to see Marcus walking toward her, looking puzzled. He stopped beside her, hands on his slim hips, and looked down. “You okay?”
She smiled and nodded. “It’s a beautiful night. I’m looking at the stars.”
He looked up at the sky, then back down at her. “Are you sure you didn’t fall down?”
She swatted at him, but he darted out of the way, grinning.
“Could you join me?” she said. “Unless you’re not allowed.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I thought maybe it wasn’t royal enough.”
“You know, you’re not making a whole lot of sense.”
“Do I ever?”
He laughed. “Good point.”
And that apparently didn’t matter, because he lay down beside her in the grass, so close their arms were touching. And she liked the way it felt. A lot. She liked being close to him, liked the warm fuzzy feeling coupled with that zing of awareness, and that urge to reach over and lace her fingers through his. It was exciting, and scary.
But of course she wouldn’t do it, because even she wasn’t that brave.
“You’re right,” he said, gazing up at the sky. “It is beautiful.”
She looked over at him. “You think I’m weird, don’t you.”
“Not weird, exactly, but I can safely say that I’ve never met anyone like you.”
“I don’t know if I’m royalty material. I don’t think I could give this up.”
“Lying in the grass?”
She nodded.
“Who said you have to?”
“I guess I just don’t know what’s acceptable, and what isn’t. I mean, if I marry Gabriel can I still build snowmen?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“Can I catch rain and snowflakes on my tongue?”
“You could try, I suppose.”
“Can I walk in the sand in my bare feet, and make mud pies with Mia?”
“You know, we royals aren’t so stuffy and uptight that we don’t know how to have fu
n. We’re just people. We lead relatively normal lives outside of the public eye.”
But normal for him, and normal for her, were two very different things. “This all happened so abruptly. I guess I just don’t know what to expect.”
Marcus looked over at her. “You know that if you marry my father, you’ll still be the same person you are right now. There’s no magic potion or incantation that suddenly makes you royal. And there are no set rules.” He paused then added, “Okay, I guess there are some rules. Certain protocol we have to follow. But you’ll learn.”
And Gabriel should have been the one explaining that to her, not Marcus. It was Gabriel she should have been getting to know, Gabriel she needed to bond with. Instead she was bonding with Marcus, and in a big way. She could feel it. She was comfortable with him, felt as if she could really be herself. Maybe because she wasn’t worried about impressing him. Or maybe she was connecting in a small way. The truth was, everything had gotten so jumbled and confused, she wasn’t sure how she felt about anything right now. And she was sure the drinks weren’t helping.
Everything will be clearer tomorrow, she told herself. She would talk to Gabriel again, and remember how much she cared about him and missed him, and everything would go back to normal. She and Marcus would be friends, and she would stop having these irrational feelings.
“I’ve been thinking,” Marcus said. “You should call your father and tell him where you are.”
His suggestion—the fact that he’d even thought it—puzzled her. “So he can tell me that I’m making another stupid mistake? Why would I do that?”
“Are you making a mistake?”
If only she could answer that question, if she could hop a time machine and flash forward a year or so in the future, she would know how this would all play out. But that would be too easy. “I guess I won’t know for sure until things go south.”
He exhaled an exasperated sigh. “Okay, do you think you’re making a mistake? Would you be here if you were sure this was going to end in disaster?”
She considered that, then said, “No, I don’t think I’m making a mistake, because even if it doesn’t work out, I got to visit a country I’ve never been to, and meet new people and experience new things. I got to stay in a palace and meet a prince. Even if he was kind of a doofus at first.”
He smiled. “Then it doesn’t matter what your father thinks. And I think that keeping this from him only makes it seem as though you have something to hide. If you really want him to respect you, and have confidence in your decisions, you’ve got to have faith in yourself first.”
“Wow. That was incredibly insightful.” And he was right. “You’re speaking from experience, I assume.”
“I’m the future leader of this country. It’s vital I convey to the citizens that I’m confident in my abilities. It’s the only way they’ll trust me to lead them.”
“Are you confident in your abilities?”
“Most of the time. There are days when the thought of that much responsibility scares the hell out of me. But part of being an effective leader means learning to delegate.” He looked at her and grinned. “And always having someone else to pin the blame on when you screw up.”
He was obviously joking, and his smile was such an adorable one, it made her want to reach out and touch his cheek. “You know, you have a really nice smile. You should do it more often.”
He looked up at the stars. “I think this is probably the most I’ve smiled since we lost my mother.”
“Really?”
“Life has been pretty dull since she died. She made everything fun and interesting. I guess that’s another way that you remind me of her.”
The warm fuzzy feeling his words gave her were swiftly replaced by an unsettling thought. If she was so much like Marcus’s mom, could that be the reason Gabriel was so drawn to her? Did he see her as some sort of replacement for the original?
Second best?
That was silly. Of course he didn’t.
And if it was so silly, why did she have a sudden sick, hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach?
Ten
Remember what you told Marcus, Vanessa reminded herself. Even if this doesn’t work out, it’s not a mistake. The thought actually made her feel a tiny bit better.
“Oh, by the way…” Marcus pulled a cell phone from his shorts pocket. “What’s your number?”
She’d actually forgotten all about her phone. She told him the number and he dialed, and she felt it begin to rumble…in the front pocket of her shorts! “What the—”
She pulled it out, staring dumbfounded, and Marcus started to laugh. “But…I heard it fall.”
“Whatever you heard, it obviously wasn’t your phone.”
“Oh, geez. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He pushed himself to his feet and extended a hand to help her up. “Why don’t we get you upstairs.”
As stupid as she felt right now, she was having such a nice time talking to him that she hated to actually go to her room. But it was late, and he probably had more important things to do than to entertain her in the short amount of evening that remained. He’d already sacrificed most of his day for her.
She took his hand and he hiked her up, but as he pulled her to her feet her phone slipped from her hand and this time she actually did drop it. It landed in the grass between them. She and Marcus bent to pick it up at the exact same time, their heads colliding in the process. Hard.
They muttered a simultaneous “Ow.”
She straightened and reached up to touch the impact point just above her left eye, wincing when her fingers brushed a tender spot. Great, now she could look forward to a hangover and a concussion. Could she make an even bigger ass of herself?
“You’re hurt,” he said, looking worried, which made her feel even stupider.
“I’m fine. It’s just a little tender.”
“Let me see,” he insisted, gently cradling her cheek in his palm, turning her toward the light for a better look. With his other hand he brushed her hair aside, his fingertips grazing her forehead.
Her heart fell to the pit of her stomach, then lunged upward into her throat. Oh my god. If her legs had been a little wobbly before, her senses slightly compromised, that was nothing compared to the head-to-toe, limb-weakening, mind-altering, knock-me-off-my-feet rush of sensation she was experiencing now. His face was so close she could feel his breath whisper across her cheek, and the urge to reach up and run her hand across his stubbled chin was almost irresistible.
Her breath caught and she got a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach. Then his eyes dropped to hers and what she saw in them made her knees go weak.
He wanted her. Really wanted her.
Don’t do it, Vanessa. Don’t even think about it.
“Does it hurt?” he asked, but it came out as a raspy whisper.
The only thing hurting right now—other than her bruised pride—was her heart, for what she knew was about to happen. For the betrayal she would feel when she talked to Gabriel tomorrow. But even that wasn’t enough to jar her back to reality. She invited the kiss, begged for it even, lifted her chin as he dipped his head, and when his lips brushed hers…
Perfection.
It was the kind of first kiss every girl dreamed of. Indescribable really. Every silly cliché and romantic platitude all rolled in one. And even though it had probably been inevitable, they simply could not let it happen again. To let it happen at all had been…well, there was no justification for it. To say it was a mistake was putting it mildly. But the problem was, it didn’t feel like a mistake. She felt a bit as though this was the first smart thing, the first right thing, she had done in years.
Which is probably why she was still kissing him. Why her arms were around his neck, her fingers curled into his hair. And why she would have kept on kissing him if Marcus hadn’t backed away and said, “I can’t believe I just did that.”
Which made her feel even worse.
&n
bsp; She pressed a hand to her tingling lips. They were still damp, still tasted like him. Her heart was still pounding, her knees weak. He’d wrecked her.
Marcus looked sick with guilt. Very much, she imagined, how she probably looked. She had betrayed Gabriel. With his own son. What kind of depraved person was she?
A slap to the face couldn’t have sobered her faster.
“It’s not your fault. I let you,” she said.
“Why did you?” he asked, and she could see in his eyes that he wanted some sort of answer as to why this was happening, why they were feeling this way.
“Because…” she began, then paused. She could diffuse the situation. She could tell him that she was just lonely, or he reminded her so much of Gabriel that she was confused. But it felt wrong to lie, and there was only one honest answer to give him. “Because I wanted you to.”
He took a second to process that, looking as though he couldn’t decide if it was a good or a bad thing, if he should feel relieved that it wasn’t all his fault, or even more guilty. “If it was something I did—”
“It wasn’t!” she assured him. “I mean, it was, but it was me too. It was both of us. We’re obviously just, confused, or…something. And it would probably be best if we don’t analyze it to death. I mean, what would be the point? It doesn’t matter why we did it. We know that we shouldn’t have, and even more important, we know that it can’t happen again. Right?”
“Right.”
“So that’s that?”
He was quiet for several long seconds and she waited for his confirmation, because they really needed to put an end to this now.
But instead of agreeing with her, Marcus shook his head and said, “Maybe not.”
Though it seemed impossible that a heart could both sink and lift at the same time, hers managed it. “Why not?”
“Because maybe if we figure out why we did it, I’ll stop feeling like I want to do it again.”
* * *
Marcus watched Vanessa struggle for what to say next, feeling a bit as though he were caught up in some racy evening television drama. This sort of thing didn’t happen in real life. Not in civilized society anyway. Men did not have affairs with their fathers’ female companions, and that was exactly what he thinking of doing.
Princess in the Making Page 9
