Actually, this wasn’t such a bad idea, after all.
“Are you laughing at me?” Jane demanded, seeing his sudden grin. “Because, I’m right about all of this, Slade. About you and me and Melessa and Alla-What’s-Her-Face…”
“I am unamused by this entire conversation, I assure you.” Slade assured her. “And while you might be right about most things, you are definitely wrong about Melessa.” He refused to budge on that point. “She was my Eternal-One.” He was positive that his ex-wife was the woman he’d been waiting a millennium for. She had to be.
Didn’t she?
“Then why didn’t you love her?” Jane asked, feeding into Slade’s most secret doubts. “Why didn’t she love you?”
“Something obviously went wrong between us,” he admitted, “but I know what my Dark Instincts told me and they are never wrong. When I looked at Melessa, I knew that she would lead me to my destiny.”
“Only she didn’t.” Jane countered. “I think you were both more interested in the idea of ruling together, than of really being together.”
“On Melessa’s side, I’m sure that’s true. But, I know what I felt and it was the call of fate.” Slade crossed his arms over his chest. “What else would it be? Believe me, I did not marry her for her conversational skills.”
“How about for her cup-size? You said yourself she was the most beautiful girl in the universe.”
Slade squinted. “Did I really say that?” He must have been delusional. Honestly, it was a struggle to even recall the woman’s face.
“Yes, you really said it! You think I’m making it up?”
“Fine.” Gods, why did Jane have to remember every stupid word he’d ever uttered? “Perhaps, I did say it, but I was wrong. Melessa may have been pretty, but only in a very expected sort of way.” He flicked a dismissive hand. “I did not look at her and see something new each day. I never woke up with her image at the forefront my mind. There was nothing… extraordinary about her.”
Not like with Jane.
“Nothing extraordinary about Melessa.” She muttered. “But she helped you secure your kingdom, so you proposed, anyway.”
“That was not why I married her. I grow tired of you saying such a thing.”
“You grow tired of me saying the stuff you’d rather not think about.”
He arched a brow. “I suppose your feelings for Charming are entirely based in love and have nothing to do with his crown?” He’d much rather discover more about Jane’s beau than rehash ancient history about his ex. Melessa had never been very interesting.
“I can honestly say that I’ve never even seen his crown.”
“It is probably very small. And fake. And small.” He paused. “Has Charming shown you anything else?”
“Like what?”
“Like…” He hunted around for some way to casually ask if she’d slept with the bastard. He probably didn’t want to know, but he fucking wanted to know. Images of her kissing that barely-royal human filled his mind. Her hair brushing against Charming’s skin, her beautiful body opening for his, her smile warming every piece of him. Slade told himself he was in control of his Dark Instincts, but it wasn’t true. He would slaughter any other man who touched her. In his heart, he knew it. Jane was his.
Her eyes narrowed. “I know you’re not asking if I’ve slept with Prince Charming. Because, that’s none of your business, Slade.”
Shit. She was right and that pissed him off even more. “Of course not. I was asking… about… his castle. Have you seen his castle?”
“No.”
“Then, he’s lying about having one.” Slade decided. “If a man truly has a castle, he shows it to the woman he wants.” God knew, he would be showing Jane the Obsidian Fortress as soon as he’d claimed it. Maybe that would impress her.
She made a face. “For your information, I know for a fact that Prince Charming has a big, pink castle in Disneyland.”
“You’ve been to this land of Disney?”
“No, but I’ve seen it on TV.”
Slade snorted. “Oh, the picture box is filled with lies. I saw a program on that screen which claimed Bigfoot was eating campers in some forest. Only he is a vegetarian, so I know that report was fabricated.” Slade nodded smugly at Jane’s eye roll. “Your alleged ‘prince’ is no doubt lying, as well.”
“I guess we’ll see when he rides up on his white steed and sweeps me off my feet.”
Slade’s teeth clenched. He’d never been so sexually frustrated, the only woman he wanted longed for another man, and he still missed his royal horses. The very last thing he wanted to hear was Jane admiring Charming’s herd of thoroughbreds. “I owned an entire stable full of white steeds back on the Vampire Isle.” He told her, tersely. “They were the envy of the realm.”
“So you’ve said. A lot.” Jane didn’t seem awed by the news. “If I were you, I’d be sorrier about losing the giant butterflies. They sound way cooler.”
Aha! Now they were getting somewhere.
“Charming does not have giant butterflies?” Slade smirked. “Mine will come whenever I call. What kind of king lacks a loyal swarm of giant butterflies?” He gave a dismissive scoff at the very idea. “But then, Charming’s not a king, is he? He is a mere prince and giant butterflies are discriminating creatures. They only seek out the truly worthy.” He arched a brow. “You should take heed of their wise example.”
“This ‘Prince Charming’ joke is becoming less funny.” She muttered and shook her head. “Whatever. We’re getting way off track. Let’s get back to the you-flying-us-out-of-the-enchanted- forest plan.”
“I told you I cannot fly.” Slade would not backpedal on that deception. Not when she was still obsessed with leaving him. It offended his intrinsic nobility to lie, but he would gladly suffer the degradation before he lost Jane. He would endure anything to keep her. “We will have to use the Corpse Road.”
“Your creepy henchmen say that it’s a bad idea. No one even knows where that path is, Slade.”
“So we shall find it. And our devoted followers are not henchmen. Or creepy.”
“That one guy has three eyes and an extra elbow, Slade. It’s creepy.”
“That is a female.” Slade corrected. “Mrs. Zagn’2!x. She bakes wonderful bread.”
Jane squinted at the pronunciation. “Uh-huh.” She sighed again. “Look, all I’m saying is that we need to get out of here and your ‘devoted followers’ just told us that the Corpse Street isn’t the way.”
“They are an overly cautious group. Do not worry. I can protect you from whatever small ghosts lurk on the path.” Slade smiled confidently. “They are easily defeated with…”
She cut him off. “Ghosts?” Her brows drew together. “Hang on, like actual ghosts live in this place?”
“Ghosts do not ‘live.’ They haunt.”
…And kill unsuspecting travelers, if Neville was to be believed. Best not to mention that part.
“They haunt?” Jane looked appalled. “Holy shit! I’m not going on a path with freaking ghosts haunting it! You must be out of your mind to even suggest that, you lunatic!”
“It is called the Corpse Road, Jane. What did you think dwelled there?”
She didn’t appreciate that logic. “You got us into this, so you fix it, Slade. Find us another way out!”
He liked it when she called them “us.” Slade and Jane were an “us.” Jane and any other man were not. Her eyes sparked in beautiful shades of silver and her impertinent demands had his whole system aflame. No one but Jane ever issued him orders. For some reason, he found that so attractive. He found everything about her attractive, actually. It was almost as if she was made for him.
Like she was the destiny he’d been searching for.
Slade’s head tilted, on the verge of a great revelation. “Jane…”
His words were interrupted by the lightning storm. A fantastical bolt of electric orange burst from the cloudless sky and arced downward. The unnatural power impa
cted the ground with a gigantic crash, igniting the trees in the distance. Flames jumped fifty feet in the air, illuminating the sky. Then another lightning bolt struck. And another. And another. Until the forest was burning in every direction.
At the rebel camp, screams and panic erupted. Slade’s followers began frantically running towards the river to escape the encroaching flames. Someone had set the entire Endless Woods ablaze.
“Oh, my God!” Jane gaped at the chaos. “What’s happening?”
There was only one species capable of this level of destruction. They were hunters of the Vampires. Remorseless killers, who’d been eradicated in all civilized realms. He should have known that the few who remained would join forces with the Werewolf.
Slade looked down at Jane, his jaw set in a grim line. “Fang has called in the Order of Mages.” He intoned, waiting for the true horror of that statement to sink in. Her beautiful face would no doubt pale with the realization that they were about to encounter one of the deadliest enemies in the supernatural world. He just prayed that she wouldn’t faint in terror.
Jane squinted. “Who the hell is that?”
Chapter Ten
INT.- DRUNKEN DRAGON TAVERN- DAY
ROLAND is brooding. Everything seems to be going wrong for him lately. The anti-Vampire supplies he bought from the WIZENED ENCHANTRESS haven’t helped, because he has no idea where SLADE even is. Worse, over the past week, ROLAND has ceased to matter. All anyone can talk about now is the Vampire. Even his musical gig was canceled, because everyone else in the band was too busy talking about SLADE to care about rehearsal. ROLAND’S glorious fate has been derailed, all because of that blood-sucking asshole. He must find a way to stop SLADE before it’s too late. In the meantime, ROLAND finds comfort in sharing his thoughts with the pretty bartender. And in drinking a lot.
ROLAND
(Drinking a lot)
I don’t get it, Tegan. You were here when the Dying Old Knight Guy gave me the Silver Sword. I’m the one who’s supposed to defeat Fang, not this Slade douchebag. The dude is a total fucking nobody, man.
What does everybody see in him?
TEGAN
(Sighing dreamily)
Well, he’s amazing looking, for one thing. His hair is like someone bottled the sun and sold it as shampoo…
ROLAND
(Cutting her off in surprise)
Hang on, you’ve met Slade?
TEGAN
Well, yeah. He and his trusty squire were in here last week. It was the same night the knight gave you that sword, actually. They left right before you arrived. They were really interested in finding the rebels.
Redrafted Film Script- “From Here to Infinia”
“Oh for gods’ sakes… The Order of the Mages.” Slade repeated in a less foreboding tone. “Their kind hunted Vampires for millennia, before my grandmother defeated them at the Battle of Gothmoreia.”
“Your grandmother the cat?”
“Yes! She is a powerful warrior and mystic. I’ve repeatedly told you this”
“Uh-huh.”
Slade wasn’t satisfied with her blank tone. “Surely you’ve heard of Gothmoreia.” He prompted. “It is the greatest battle, in the greatest war ever waged.”
“If you say so.”
“I do say so. Everyone says so.” He shook his head. “Your education is sadly lacking in some areas, Jane Squire.”
“Feel free to write a letter of complaint to the Chicago Public School System, if we survive this.” Jane muttered, her eyes on the huge fire crackling their way. “So these Mages are trying to barbeque us on Fang’s orders?”
“So it would seem. Of course, the fire is not our most pressing concern.”
“It’s not? Do I even want to ask what is our most pressing concern, then?”
“Mages can control electricity.”
“Electricity?” That didn’t sound so dire. “Oh. Is that all?”
Slade gave another dramatic sigh. If Jane didn’t know better, she’d swear he was disappointed that she wasn’t adequately impressed. “Electricity isn’t as common in most worlds, as it is in yours.” He pointed to the charges igniting the sky. “The lightning is quite frightening to most people. And Mages can travel on the bolts. Each strike allows them to move to a new position, searching for their prey.”
Jane made a face. “I swear that’s ripping off some sci-fi movie, but I don’t remember which one.”
“The Mages are the stuff of legend, so they are no doubt the subjects of many of your ‘movies.’” He glanced down at her. “Today, we are their prey. They will find us and attack. Whatever you do, don’t touch them. Their entire bodies are electrified. If you land a punch, you will die.”
“Yeah, that part’s a little scarier.” Jane allowed. “Are you sure you can’t fly us out of here? Because, it would be really helpful if you could fly us out of here.”
“We cannot attempt it with a Mage nearby. Flying is a delicate balance. The storm would knock me from the sky.” He paused and then quickly tacked on. “Also, I cannot fly in Infinia, so the point is moot.”
“You’re a terrible liar, but I don’t have time to kick your ass.” Jane headed towards Slade’s hut, shaking her head in annoyance. “If you refuse to fly, we’ll have to do this the hard way. Be warned, when we die and become ghosts, I’ll definitely be haunting you throughout eternity.”
Slade hurried after her. “Where are you going?
“To get that stupid movie script. Since, I’m not about to fight Dynamo, we have to find the Corpse Road. It’s the only way out and the script might be able to tell us where to find it.”
“You wish to run?” Slade looked outraged.
“Of course I wish to run. Why would we stick around to get cremated, if we can just amscray?”
“I am unfamiliar with whatever language you are speaking and thus unable to adequately address that question.”
Jane ignored that and stomped inside Slade’s hut without bothering to ask permission. Those useless rebels had given him the biggest and fanciest house in the village. It was still just made of sticks and straw, though, so any Big Bad Werewolf was going to be able to blow the damn thing down. Jane did not plan to be around when that happened.
“Jane?” Slade persisted, ducking through the doorway after her. He stood there, posed like Captain America. “Sooner or later, we must face Fang. How else will we win the kingdom?”
“I’m kinda hoping for a game show.” She absolutely didn’t notice that he took up all the space in the room. Just like she didn’t stare over at the bed for a beat and imagine doing all kinds of things to him that would screw up this movie’s PG-13 rating. Because, Jane Squire didn’t long for what she couldn’t have.
It was part of being a pragmatist.
She stalked over to the rickety dining table and grabbed the red manuscript lying on the rough surface. Sure enough, From Here to Infinia had changed again. Every edit just seemed to get worse, so that wasn’t exactly welcomed news. She began fanning through it, looking for some mention of the Corpse Road.
“Good news, there only seems to be one Mage. Bad news, she’s some psycho named Dallyn, who spends three pages monologuing with Fang about eradicating the evil Vampire menace.”
“Dallyn?” Slade scowled. “She still lives?”
“You know her?”
“Yes. She is one of the most dedicated hunters. She hates all Vampires, but most especially me.”
Jane made a face. “Why does everyone have a vendetta against you, Slade? I mean, aside from the obvious reasons of your personality and behavior.”
“In Dallyn’s case, I once resisted her dubious charms at particularly raucous supernatural ball. She has been holding a grudge for centuries.”
“Oh.” Jane instantly decided the bitch needed her batteries yanked.
From the crappy dialogue, Dallyn seemed like the typical scantily-clad, vaguely-foreign villainess who populated Hollywood films. Jane refused to be intimidated by some c
heap refugee from Underworld. She was escaping this inescapable forest and she was taking Slade with her.
“Well, we’re not going to stick around and let you two get reacquainted.” Jane scanned the script. “Right here!” She triumphantly pointed to the scene heading on one of the new pages. “Exterior: Entrance to the Corpse Road- Night. Fang stands by the waterfall and reads the note. See?” She slammed the folder shut and arched a brow. “That wasn’t so hard, now was it? Grab your sword. We’re leaving.”
“I do not wish to leave. I wish to stay and fight. I defeated Fang once and I shall do it again.”
“Yeah, well, you’re not ‘doing it again’ right now.” Slade didn’t seem excited to pack clothes or food, but he did pick-up the golf bag. God knew why he kept lugging the thing around, but whatever. “We don’t have a plan, we’re armed with sporting goods, and your not-so-brave troops have dashed-off into the trees.” She made a face. “Actually, that’s probably for the best. They’d just get themselves hurt.”
“We’ve been training! They are much improved at battle tactics.” He hesitated. “I should have stressed that fleeing was not the best strategy for annihilating one’s enemy. Perhaps they are confused.”
“Perhaps they are dumbasses.” Jane muttered. “Not that it matters. This whole world might be actually happening, but it’s still running by movie rules. I’m betting it will stay that way until the finale, and I seriously doubt the decisive showdown between you and Fang happens in the second act. You don’t even have Roland’s stupid sword, yet. No way will either of you be annihilating each other today.”
“Fang shall not defeat me on any day.” Vampiric gentleman that he was, Slade held the door open as she passed, but he was still annoyed by her refusal to stay and die. “I am a king.”
“A king? Wow, you’re kidding. If only you’d said something before.”
“Sarcasm does not change the truth.” Slade told her, sounding miffed. “Besides, you said yourself that the cinema script is changing. The balance of power could shift, if we are not vigilant.”
Vampire Charming Page 14
