Jane reacted to that out-of-the-blue announcement with the kind of sparkling repartee that any screenwriter would be proud of. “Huh?”
Slade glanced away with a shake of his head. “I must share my revelation, though I fear you will not welcome it.”
“Um… Okay.”
He sighed, wearily. “For nearly twenty minutes now, I have held back my words, but I find I no longer can sustain this charade. I thought perhaps it would be better to let you realize the truth on your own, but you are taking far too long.” He flashed her an expectant look, like he was waiting for her to apologize for not reading his mind.
Except, Jane still had no idea what he was talking about. “Slade, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
He frowned at that news. “How can you not know? I think I knew from the first. My Dark Instincts recognized you from the minute we met. Really, it explains so much.”
“What does? The fact that you’re insane?”
He made an expansive gesture with his hands, as if she was being completely unreasonable. “It’s like you are deliberately ignoring the truth.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She repeated in exasperation. “For real, what the hell is your problem now? Because…”
“My problem is you.” He interrupted at a roar. “You are my Eternal-One and you seem determined to deny it!”
Jane stared at him.
Oh dear God. He was hallucinating. Was it the Corpse Road? Was it somehow messing with his mind?
She chewed her lower lip, trying to decide the best way to help. “Slade, sweetie, you should sit down for a minute.” She reached over to take hold of his arm, guiding him towards a flat rock on the side of the path. “Just take deep breaths. We might have a serious problem here.”
“I know we have a problem.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “You are the problem. I said as much, not two minutes ago.”
“Slade, I am not the problem.” She shouted, on the verge of a major freak-out. “The fact that Fang is coming after us? That’s the problem. The fact that we have to reach the end of this road soon or you’re going to be stuck out in the open when the sun comes up? That’s the problem. The fact that you’re becoming delusional? That’s the fucking problem! So just shut-up and let me deal with this, okay?”
“Delusional?” He squinted like maybe she was the one hallucinating. “Explain how I am delusional.”
“You think I’m Melessa.” She told him bluntly. “Maybe you should put your head between your knees and see if that helps.”
“I know you’re not Melessa! Have you gone mad?”
“No, but you might be. You’re calling me your Eternal-One.” She patted his shoulder, trying to reign in her panic.
Okay. She could figure this out. Somehow.
No matter what happened, she had to keep Slade safe. In the meantime, it did no good to yell at the poor guy. She needed to look out for him until he recovered. That was what best friends did for each other and she abruptly realized that the big doofus was the best friend she ever had.
“I’ll take care of you.” She touched his shiny hair, pushing it back from his forehead. “Don’t worry.” She gave him a tender smile. “Everything will be fine, alright? I’ll get us out of this.”
“Jane, you are my Eternal-One.”
She barely heard that, trying to estimate the distance to the edge of the vast field. Maybe she should risk cutting across it. If it got Slade help quicker, she’d…
“Jane!” Slade interrupted her planning with an impatient frown. “Are you listening to me?”
“What?”
“I said, you are my Eternal-One.”
“What?” She repeated vaguely and then turned to look at him in surprise when she actually processed that statement. “Wait, what?”
“You. Are. My. Eternal-One.” He careful spaced each word. “I tried to tell you, but you don’t seem to understand. It was never Melessa. It was always you.”
Jane gaped at him. For once, she couldn’t think of single thing to say.
Slade took her silence as encouragement. “It’s why so much seemed to go wrong for me earlier this year. Only nothing went wrong, at all. Marrying Melessa and then losing the Vampire Isle, had to happen so I could come to your world.” He nodded like it all made perfect sense. “Everything was designed to bring me to your side. You are where I belong. You and I are one.”
Jane blinked. Come to think of it, there was only one possible response to that gibberish.
She burst out laughing.
Slade scowled as Jane doubled over in hilarity. “You find our shared destiny amusing?”
“I find the idea of having a shared destiny amusing.” She wiped her eyes and jerked a thumb towards the fields. “Alright, come clean. Have you been smoking some of these weeds?”
His jaw ticked. “Is it because of Prince Charming? Do you not wish to acknowledge your connection with me, because of your inappropriate feelings for him?”
“Inappropriate? Wow. You must have watched a more interesting cartoon than I did.”
“Any feelings you have for another man are wrong. I do not accept them.” He arched a brow. “And I suspect that Disneyland is squalid and miserable place. I have not heard of it and I have heard of every kingdom worth hearing about.”
“I think Mickey’s team of super-lawyers can have you thrown in jail just for saying that.” Jane shook her head. “Seriously, is this some kind of weird royal rivalry thing, where you want to prove your scepter is bigger than Charming’s?” Since Slade was planning to marry a princess, she’d enjoyed pretending that she had royal fiancé of her own, but enough was enough. “Because, there’s no need. Prince Charming doesn’t exist, you moron.”
“Doesn’t exist?” Blond brows compressed. “Why do you keep speaking of him, then?”
“Because he’s Prince Charming! He’s the perfect man that little girls dream about. Then we grow-up and realize a guy on white horse isn’t going to charge to our rescue, no matter how many movies tell us otherwise.
Slade began to look more cheerful. “You mean… you just invented this man?”
“I didn’t invent him, he’s a fairytale. One of our most famous stories. He’s the ideal husband.” She shook her head. “Everyone knows that, Slade. I mean, how could you not realize I was messing with you? Do you really think some handsome prince would wander into the grocery store and decided I was his dream girl?”
…Except that seemed to be exactly what was happening, didn’t it?
Caribbean blue eyes regarded her steadily and things suddenly seemed a lot less funny.
Jane felt her heartbeat speeding up. Her amusement faded into something like terror. “Slade, come on. You’re not serious about this…” She began.
He cut her off. “So, you aren’t planning to marry another man?” He still seemed halfway convinced that Charming was going to show up with a glass slipper.
“I’m not going to marry anybody.” She deliberately stressed the “anybody” part, so he’d know it included “any Vampire,” too. “I mean it. I’m not your Eternal-One. That’s not even up for debate.”
“Oh, I don’t plan to debate it.”
Jane decided to interpret that in the best possible way. She could hear her heart beating in her ears. “Good, so I think we should forget this whole thing ever happened. You’re just… confused.”
“No, Jane. I’m not confused, at all. You are my Eternal-One. There can be no debate, because it’s empirical fact. And now you tell me that there is no other prince in your life, so all of our problems are solved.” He beamed at her, like he’d singlehandedly solved world hunger.
Jesus, he was going crazy.
“My problems aren’t solved. Not even close.” She shook her head. “Your problems aren’t solved either, if you stop to think about it. All you want is Infinia, remember? Even if it is true and I am your Eternal-One --which I’m not-- I can’t give you a kingdom, Slade. Only Allandrina can do that. It’s
why you’re planning to marry her!”
Slade frowned. “I do not know why you continue to worry about that woman. I have already decided I cannot marry Allandrina.”
Jane refused to be relieved over his change of heart. “Since when?” She demanded. “Six seconds ago?”
“Since, you made it clear that you would never tolerate the plan. And you were right, as you usually are. I was a fool to even consider such a cold transaction.” He sighed. “My only excuse is the divorce left me hardened to the idea of romance. I had given up on finding you.”
“You think you were looking for me?”
“I know I was. My Dark Instincts all told me when I’d found you, but bitterness blinded me to the truth. I am ashamed of that. My plan to wed that princess was an insult to you and our connection. Forgive me, Jane.”
Jane stared at him. “You want me and not Allandrina?” She finally asked, knowing it was a mistake to be so delighted by that fact.
“Of course. How can you even question that? Even before I realized we were Eternal-Ones, you were the only…” Slade trailed off and blinked as if a new idea occurred to him. “Wait, did you create this Prince Charming, because you were upset over my supposed feelings for Allandrina?” He seemed thrilled. “That is a ludicrous --yet encouraging-- idea. I forgive you for lying. Jealousy is a good sign.”
“You forgive me?!” It felt like all she could do was echo the utter craziness he was spouting.
“Of course, I do.” Slade gave an arrogant nod. “I was going insane, picturing you with another man. Just as you were upset that I would stupidly consider marrying another woman.” He smiled the kind of smile that made her want to punch him. Repeatedly. “It is actually very sweet. But I promise there is no need for you to concern yourself about Allandrina. I never even met the woman, Jane. She means nothing to me. Nothing at all.”
“You are the most egotistical idiot in the world! This isn’t about me being jealous! I don’t care what you do.”
“You do not mean that.”
“Yes, I do!” She shouted, even though he was right. “Sleep with every tiara-wearing twit in the land, if it makes you happy. I just want to go back to my old life, lock myself in my apartment, and be safe and alone forever.”
Slade rubbed the back of his neck, apparently irritated that she wasn’t rushing off to buy Vampire Brides Magazine. “You cannot be alone.” He complained. “Without you, I would be alone and that is the last thing I desire. You are needlessly complicating this wonderful news. We are Eternal-Ones.”
“Bullshit.”
Slade sighed at that succinct answer. “You are always so difficult to reason with.”
“I’m difficult?”
“Yes! You have fought me every step of our journey.”
“Your journey, Slade. I’ve been a really good sport about you dragging me into Army of Darkness, but it’s never been about me. This whole becoming-a-king plan is about you. Just like this Eternal-One thing is about you. And what you want and what you think.” She waved a hand. “You’ve never asked me what I want. Not even once.”
He seemed baffled by that. “If I asked you what you want, you would tell me things that I do not wish to hear. You would tell me that you plan to leave me and not be my Eternal-One.”
“Yes. That’s exactly what I’m telling you!” This couldn’t be true. There was just no way someone like Slade wanted her. It was another one of his loony ideas that would lead to badness and heartbreak. “This whole thing is ridiculous. Just sit there and try to regain your normal kind-of-sanity, while I figure out what to do next.”
“I do not understand your attitude. I expected it, but I don’t understand it. Many women would be thrilled to have me as an Eternal-One.”
“Many women have been your Eternal-One and none of them were thrilled.” She retorted. “You got it wrong with Melessa, right? And didn’t you tell me that you thought Damien’s wife was your Eternal-One, before that?”
“I was tricked into believing Karalynn was mine! I was influenced by a magick book and not thinking clearly. Many of the words I spoke to her were not even my own. There was a spell that fogged our reality!”
“If you say so.”
“I do say so! Yes, I was wrong about other women in the past, but I am not wrong about you. Even you must sense the bond between us, Jane.”
She shook her head. “I don’t.” And, even if she did, she would never, ever admit it.
“You do.” He insisted. “You have been a good sport about our journey, Jane. And I know you well enough to know that you are rarely a good sport.”
“Way to woo me, ass hat.”
“I am simply being honest. You would never be this accommodating with another man. We both know that.”
She turned away, unwilling to consider the truth of that statement. Every conceited word out of his conceited mouth annoyed her. “You’re twisting this around.” She snapped. “You’re my ticket out of this dimension. That’s why I’ve been sticking with…”
Slade cut her off, catching hold of her arm and swinging her back around to face him. “You would have left anyone but me days ago.” He continued passionately. “You would have used those golf clubs to kill any other man who brought you to this realm against your wishes. You would never, ever have fed another Vampire. Not Jane Squire, cynic and loner. You’ve only done all this because of me. Because I’m me.”
“You’re admitting that it’s your fault? Good! I totally agree.”
He ignored that too and kept going. “You did these things, because --deep down-- you know that we’re supposed to be together. You want to be with me, Jane. We belong with each other and you know it.”
Jane shook his off hand, adrenaline pouring into her system. “No.”
Slade regarded her like he was seeing her for the first time. “That’s it, isn’t it?” For someone who worked hard at acting like an idiot, he was always so annoyingly perceptive. “That’s why you’re fighting so hard to leave. You already know you’re mine. You’ve known longer than I have and it frightens you.”
Frightened? She was fucking terrified. What if this was all a trick? What if it wasn’t? “I’m not yours. I’m not anyone’s. I never have been.”
“You always have been. You were born to be mine, Jane. It took me thirty years to find you, but I did it. There is nothing I wouldn’t brave if it meant being together.”
She took a step backwards. “We’re not supposed to be together. You’re supposed to be the hero of this movie and I’m supposed to be one of the damn extras. When have you ever seen the hero ride off into the sunset with an extra, huh?”
“That entire statement is faulty. You are not an extra. You do not even believe in heroes. And I would burn to ash if we went into a sunset.”
“Because you’re a Vampire! You live on magical islands, and you have giant butterflies as pets, and you’re so frigging shiny it hurts my eyes. I’m a normal person and normal people don’t get mixed-up with Vampires! We do normal things and live normal lives.”
“You have had more fun with me than you ever did in your ‘normal’ life.” He retorted. “This is the existence you were meant for. Standing at the middle of the story, not hiding in the background.” He waved an expansive hand. “Your whole face lights up at the memory of six weeks when you had an almost-leading part on that Dracula show! You loved it, but you were scared and so you gave it up. This is the same thing, Jane. Don’t you see that?”
“I didn’t give it up! That was just a short term role, Slade. It wasn’t meant to last.”
“It might have lasted, if you’d taken the chance. You said yourself that Clarissa’s story was unfinished.” He watched her closely, still seeing far too much. “I know you, Jane. Did you even try to stay on the picture box?”
No. But she’d wanted to…
Jane swallowed, because deep down she knew he had a point. She should have fought harder for Clarissa. The writers killed her off without even a final scene. Jane had
been scared to take a chance and try to change things. What if she tried to stay and they didn’t want her? No one ever wanted her.
Slade’s voice was deep and sure. “You and I can write our own story, Jane. Together, we can do anything. Have faith in yourself. Have faith in me.”
Jane squeezed her eyes shut. Slade was about million times more important than any acting job. Putting her faith in him would be like stepping of a bridge. Her fingers instinctively curled, like she was trying to cling to an invisible railing. Thirty years of stark pragmatism had her hanging on for dear life. She couldn’t do this.
She couldn’t.
“You’re not going to confuse me, Slade. I won’t let you. You can talk me into all kinds of shit, but not this.” Jane kept edging away from him, wanting to increase the distance between them. Being near Slade messed with her head. Right from the beginning, he’d been able to slip passed her defenses and drown out logic. He could make believe the impossible. “I want to go home and you can’t convince me to stay.”
“I don’t have to convince you of what you already know.” He said simply. “You are in love with me.”
Jane saw red at that matter-of-fact response. “Why would I be in love with you? Huh? You’ve done nothing but wreck my life, you maniac!”
“I’m your Eternal-One!” He roared back. “You must love me. It is part of our bond.”
“I don’t love you and I will never be your Eternal-One! Go sell that crap to the next girl on your endless list of possible fiancées, because I’m not interested!”
Slade flinched.
Jane shook her head, too upset to even process the devastated look on his face. If she let him, he would destroy her. Betting on Slade would end up with her having nothing. She knew it. “I can’t do this.” She whispered out loud. “It’s too big.”
“Jane, please.” He held out a hand. “I know you’re afraid, but I can be a good mate for you. I swear it.”
“No.” It was a denial of this entire situation. “There’s no way. I can’t take a chance like that. Are you crazy?”
His face changed. For the first time since she’d known him, Slade looked defeated. “You mean you can’t take a chance on me.” He corrected quietly, dropping his palm. “I’m not worth it.”
Vampire Charming Page 17
