by Nerys Leigh
His jaw tightened. “Then we have a problem.”
The way he said it made her nervous. “Please, Gabriel, just give me a bit more time. If you tell people I’m pregnant, I’ll lose both my jobs, and probably my room at the hotel too. That’s why I’m working in the saloon, so that by the time people find out, I’ll have enough money to get my own place to stay and for food and everything else. If you tell them now, I don’t know what I’ll do.” She would also lose Zach, an even worse prospect than being out on the street.
There were a few seconds of silence while he considered what she’d said. To her surprise, she found herself praying he’d reconsider. It must have been Zach’s influence. She’d never have spontaneously prayed before she met him.
“I want the money you’ve got right now,” he said, “and that extra tomorrow. I may have enough for the ticket then, but I’ll need the rest as soon as you have it. I’m going to have to buy food and such for my new bride.”
It would be everything she had, but at least it would give her more time before everyone found out. “All right. I just have to hang these sheets out to dry then I can go to the bank and get the money.”
“I’ve got some errands to run. I’ll meet you at the bank in a half hour.”
Jo watched him walk away then sighed and picked up the basket of bed sheets.
How would she possibly make enough money to keep her and her baby, now she’d be giving it all to Gabriel and his new bride?
~ ~ ~
Zach ducked into the shadow of the doorway at the back of the hotel as Gabriel Silversmith walked past, careful to not be seen.
He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but he’d seen Silversmith heading for the hotel and followed him to make sure Jo was safe. And then he couldn’t help overhearing.
Okay, that wasn’t strictly true. He could have avoided listening in on their conversation, but he was worried about Jo.
With Silversmith gone, he watched her shoulders slump. She stood still for a few moments before picking up the basket of laundry and heading for the washing lines. He retreated inside and leaned back against the wall.
She needed money, he had money. Not a huge amount, but enough that it might keep Silversmith from spreading the news of her pregnancy around.
It had taken him two years to save that fifty-two dollars. Money was never a priority for him so he tended to not take much notice of it, but when he could he’d gradually saved the little he had over every month anyway, when a bit more sense had begun to replace the carelessness of youth. Although that was largely due to seeing Daniel’s single-minded determination to create a life on his farm for himself and his future family.
Zach wasn’t like Daniel. He didn’t look to the future a great deal, preferring to enjoy the present. But now, when he thought of Jo, he increasingly saw what his life could be. Of course, he had no guarantee that she would ever marry him. His first almost-proposal had been cut off before he’d even got the words out. After hearing Jo speaking to Silversmith today, Zach realised that had been a mistake. For all she’d done in coming to Green Hill Creek to marry a man she didn’t know, she didn’t want practical. She wanted love. He could give her all the love in the world, if she would let him. What better use could he put his few savings to than helping the woman he loved?
His decision made, he pushed away from the wall and headed along the corridor.
He jogged to the bank to make sure he had plenty of time to withdraw his money before Jo got there and took out fifty dollars. If he had to, he could take the other two later, but he did prefer to be able to eat before his next payday.
With the money in his pocket, he hid across the street from the bank to wait for Jo and Silversmith to arrive, then he watched her give him the money she’d earned. The sadness on her face as she handed it over made Zach wish he had more, just so she could keep hers. But he would do what he could.
When she and Silversmith parted ways Zach followed him to the saloon, intercepting him before he went inside.
Silversmith frowned, clearly not happy to see him. “Parsons, what do you want?”
“I want to talk to you about Jo.”
His frown deepened. “If you’re here to apologise for stealing my wife away from me, don’t bother. I’m not interested in hearing it.”
Zach scowled back at him. “First of all, I didn’t steal your wife. If you recall, you pushed her out and she almost died. Besides, she isn’t your wife anymore.”
“Isn’t like you waited around long to move in. What was it? A minute? Two? Or were you seducing her before we were even apart?”
“I barely even knew her before she came to the hotel that night! And she would have left you with or without me. If you’d treated her better...” He stopped, closing his eyes for a moment. Getting angry wouldn’t help Jo. “This isn’t why I’m here.”
“Then why are you here? ’Cause I’ve got money in my pocket and there’s a glass of whiskey in the Royal with my name on it, and I don’t plan on keeping it waiting any longer.”
Zach’s quest to keep his anger in check was becoming harder and harder. “I thought that money was for a train ticket.”
“What I do with my money ain’t none of your business,” Silversmith snapped.
He began to reconsider handing over the fifty dollars. If he wasn’t going to buy another ticket with it... But what difference did it make what he spent it on? As long as Jo’s name wasn’t dragged through the mud, that was all Zach cared about.
Offering up a quick prayer for calm and strength, he took a deep breath and released his annoyance with it. Mostly.
“I’m here to give you money to cover Jo’s debt, but I want your assurance that you won’t do or say anything to anyone else about her. If I hear anything about her secret, I’ll know it came from you, and I will go straight to the marshal and tell him about how you pushed her out into the night without caring what happened to her. She hasn’t told him the whole story, but I will.”
A nerve in Silversmith’s jaw spasmed. He narrowed his eyes at Zach. “How much you got?”
“Fifty dollars.”
“She owes me more ’n that.”
“I know, but it’s all I’ve got.” Please make him accept it.
Silversmith looked off along the road for a good half a minute before speaking, mouth pressed into a thin line. “I didn’t mean for her to get hurt, you know. That night. I was angry and I wasn’t thinking straight. I went out to look for her afterwards.”
Zach didn’t reply.
He puffed out a breath. “All right, I’ll take the fifty. I reckon she worked hard on my house, made it look real nice, and cooked and cleaned and took care of my animals. That’s worth something. And I take responsibility for what I did. I’ve got enough to cover the rest of the train ticket to get Grace here.”
It astonished Zach that he could move on from Jo so quickly. How had he not fallen in love with her while she was with him? How had he not fallen in love with her from the very start? Zach felt as if he’d lost his heart the moment he first laid eyes on her. Still, it was a good thing for him Silversmith hadn’t, however astounding that was.
He pulled the five ten dollar bills from his pocket and handed them over, grateful it was turning out to be relatively easy. “Wait a minute,” he said as Silversmith turned away. He pulled a crumpled piece of paper and a stub of pencil from his pocket and held them out. “I’d like a receipt for the money. I learned from my pa to always put things in writing. Saves any misunderstandings later on.”
Silversmith eyed the paper and pencil as if they would bite. “I need my spectacles to read and I don’t have them with me. You just write it down and I’ll sign it.”
Zach scribbled down a couple of lines and gave it to him and he signed it slowly and precisely, handed the paper and pencil back, and turned towards the saloon.
“Um, Mr. Silversmith?”
He glanced back.
“I hope it works out for you, with your new bride.”
Silversmith stared at him for a moment as if trying to decide if he was being genuine. Apparently concluding that he was, he gave him a nod and turned away.
Zach headed back towards the hotel, a smile spreading over his face as he walked.
Jo was finally completely free of her marriage. And maybe, just maybe, that would bring her a little closer to him.
Chapter 32
The morning after Gabriel came to ask her for the money, Jo was surprised to see him in the hotel dining room for breakfast.
She normally wasn’t up early enough to be around for the breakfast crowd, but she wanted to get an early start on her work at the hotel so she could meet Zach later. He was taking her for a picnic for lunch.
When Gabriel had finished his breakfast she hurried to catch him outside as he untied Jed from the hitching post. Or maybe it was Fred. She still couldn’t tell the difference. The horse greeted her with a soft snort and she rubbed his neck, pleased he remembered her.
“I couldn’t get any extra money,” she said, glancing around to make sure no one was within earshot. “Rufus wouldn’t give me an advance. But I get paid on Saturday so I can give you more then.”
“No need.” Gabriel picked at his teeth with one filthy nail and sucked what he found there from his fingertip.
She frowned, only half in disgust at his manners. “What do you mean, no need?”
“I don’t need any more. The money Parsons gave me covered what I was short. Bought the ticket before I had breakfast.”
What was he talking about? “When did Zach give you money?”
“Yesterday. Gave me fifty dollars to make up for what you couldn’t. Thought you knew.” He smiled benevolently. “I told him that was enough. I figure I owed you something for everything you did in the house and for what happened that last night. The debt is cleared, far as I’m concerned.”
Zach gave him money? Jo’s mind was whirling. How did he even know?
“Did you hear what I said?” Gabriel said, evidently feeling her reaction didn’t contain the proper amount of gratitude.
“Uh, yes, thank you. That’s very kind of you.” She made a half-hearted attempt to sound sincere, but she was having trouble thinking about anything but Zach.
Gabriel nodded. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a letter to mail and a house to get ready for my new bride.”
“I hope it works out for you,” she said vaguely. Why would Zach give him all that money for her? Surely he needed it?
She hurried to Zach’s tiny house, practically running up to the green painted door when she got there. When he didn’t answer her first knock within the two seconds she needed him to, she knocked again, louder. She kept knocking until the door flew open.
“What?!” He stood in the doorway, panting as if he’d been running. His hair was dripping and his shirt hanging open. “Jo? What’s wrong?”
She pushed past him into the living room. “I need to talk to you.”
“Okay.”
The door to the kitchen was open, a trail of wet footprints leading to the front door. She glimpsed a bathtub surrounded by splashes of water. So that was why he was wet and barely dressed.
He closed the door and turned to face her. Her gaze wandered down to his bare chest and for a moment she forgot why she was there. It was a very nice bare chest. Very... defined.
Gabriel. The money. Oh, yes.
Snapping her eyes back up to his face, she found him smirking. “Would you mind buttoning your shirt up?”
“I was in the bathtub,” he said, fastening a couple of the buttons. “I’m still wet. The way you were knocking, I thought the house must have been burning down at the very least.”
“Well, this couldn’t wait. I just talked to Gabriel.”
His eyes narrowed. “O...kay.”
“He told me you gave him fifty dollars, to help pay for the train ticket for his new bride.”
“I did.”
Several questions came to her at once. She struggled to pick which to ask first. “But how did you know?”
“You told me he’d said about being paid back for your ticket, remember? I saw you outside the bank giving him money yesterday and I figured he’d asked you for it. You looked worried.”
At least he didn’t know about the baby. But... “Why did you give him fifty dollars?”
“It’s all I had saved, apart from a couple of dollars I kept for food this week. If he hadn’t accepted that, I have friends who would lend me some...”
“No, not why did you give him fifty dollars! Why did you give him anything?” He couldn’t have given up everything he had for her. Not for her.
He shrugged as if it should be obvious. “I did it because you needed me to.”
He raised one hand to touch her face. She pushed it away.
“I didn’t ask you to. I didn’t want you to!” She felt as if she couldn’t breathe. Her hands balled into fists, nails digging into her palms. “You shouldn’t have given him everything you had. You need that money! Why did you have to give him everything you had?”
“Because I care about you.” Confusion and distress chased across his face and he reached out for her again. “I wanted to help.”
She pressed her hands against his chest and pushed, making him stumble back a couple of steps.
“Stop it! Stop looking after me and making sure I’m safe and giving me things and caring about me. Just stop!” She pressed a trembling hand to her face. “Please, just stop.”
He raised his hand towards her again, stopping short of touching her. “Why? Why should I stop doing those things? Why is it so bad that I care about you?”
Because when you leave me, it will break my heart.
She shook her head and turned away. Why couldn’t he just do as she asked and leave her alone? He was giving too much and she had nothing to give in return.
She flinched at a gentle touch on her shoulder.
“Please, Jo, help me understand. Because right now I don’t understand anything.”
She spun back to him. “Because I’m not the woman you think I am! I’m not a good person. I’ve stolen and lied and cheated and swindled my way through life. I am not the woman you deserve, Zach. I’m not!”
Covering her face with her hands, she dropped onto the settee. She would have cried, if she could.
A moment later, Zach’s arm settled around her. She turned towards him and leaned her face into his shoulder. He smelled of soap.
“I’m not worth your time,” she whispered into his damp shirt. “I’m certainly not worth you giving up everything you’ve saved.”
“You’re worth it to me.”
She shook her head against him. “You don’t know me. You don’t know what I’ve done.” She knew she should push away, but she didn’t want to leave his arms, the place in the world she felt the most safe. And the place she felt the most vulnerable.
“Then tell me,” he said softly.
She shook her head again, squeezing her eyes closed. “I don’t want you to hate me.”
He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “That will never happen.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Then help me to know. You can trust me.”
How she wanted to trust him, to tell him everything and know that he wouldn’t condemn her for it. But the risk was too great. If she saw the disappointment and disgust in his eyes she knew would come, it would destroy her. She wasn’t ready for that, not yet. Not until she had no more options.
“All right,” he said when she didn’t answer, “you want to know the worst thing I’ve ever done?”
An inadvertent snort escaped at the thought of Zach doing anything bad. “What, when you were young did you once get home five minutes after your curfew? I’m not sure I’m ready to hear that.”
“Well then I definitely won’t shock you with the time I got home fifteen minutes after curfew.”
He was quiet for a while and Jo waited, wondering
what he could possibly have done that was so bad. One thing was certain, it wasn’t anything as bad as what she’d been doing for years.
“When I was seventeen,” he said eventually, “me and Will, you know Will Raine?”
She nodded. She didn’t know Sara’s brother-in-law well, but she’d met him.
“Me and Will began spending time with a group of older boys. Men, really. I guess it made us feel more grown up. You know what boys that age are like. After a while, we started going into the saloon with them. Our parents didn’t know. My pa would have tied me to a chair to stop me if he’d known. I had my first drink in there. Learned to play cards. And that was where I had my first...” He stopped and Jo raised her face to look at him. He swallowed and lowered his gaze. “That was where I had my first, my only experience with a woman. I knew it was wrong. I knew God’s teaching about relations outside marriage and I knew it was for our good and I’d always had every intention of waiting. I also knew the women in there didn’t all do what they did by choice. But I’d won some money that night and she was pretty and paying me all this attention I wasn’t used to, and...” He drew in a deep breath and released it in a deep sigh. “Afterwards, I was so ashamed. I could fool myself into thinking there was nothing so wrong with the drinking and the gambling, but I couldn’t talk myself out of the guilt of what I did that night. I left the saloon and didn’t go back, not for three years, until I needed money and decided just getting into a few games wouldn’t hurt. But I was wrong about that too. I’ve never told anyone what I did, not even my pa.”
Jo leaned her head on his shoulder again, thinking about what he’d said. To her, it didn’t seem such a bad thing. She’d done much worse. But to him it clearly was.
“Do you think God was angry at you?”
“Not angry. Disappointed, maybe. Knowing I’d let Him down was hard for me. Afterwards, it took me three days to even speak to Him. I’d never not spoken to God before, but I felt as if He wouldn’t forgive me for what I did.”
“What happened when you did speak to Him again?” For reasons she didn’t understand, she needed to hear the answer.
