by Juniper King
Homes could always be rebuilt, but people… Friends and family…
The urge I had only moments ago to go check—to see for myself—was waning. My entire body slumped further into Ayre’s embrace.
If what he was telling me was true, I couldn’t bear the devastation with my own eyes—to accidentally stumble across someone I might recognize, someone I might have cared about. I didn’t know what would be worse, finding no one, or finding them buried among the rubble. I couldn’t bear either.
“There’s nothing left…” I said, “I have no one.” Tears streamed down my cheeks. Aksel and Ayre—these two virtual strangers—were the only things I had left in the world. “I’m a coward,” I said to no one.
Ayre’s lips were against my temple. “You’re not a coward.” After a momentary pause he continued, a slight hesitation in his voice. “Seeing the destruction and chaos with your own eyes won’t make you any braver.” Was he speaking from experience?
Finding no consolation in his words, I took in our surroundings. I could only assume we were deep into the forest. Looking into the distance I couldn’t even see the smoke trails rising up into the sky.
Finally, my eyes roved over my bare legs. I wore no bottoms, only a long sleeping shirt that went to mid-thigh. I had expected to see burned skin and bruises, but there was nothing besides soot. Come to think of it, my back should be blistered and in absolute agony.
Ayre followed my eyes, “I healed you while you were unconscious.”
It was news to me that satyrs had healing abilities. But it was also news to me that Ayre was a weapons master, capable of slaughtering a man without a second thought. And now here he was, holding me so gently, like a china doll he feared breaking.
But all of that was far below my concern now.
A rustling came from the bushes, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything right now. I could only see the fire, hear the screams that my brain had fabricated, feel Aksel’s arms around me as we retreated from the flames. As we abandoned everyone.
Aksel emerged as if summoned by my thoughts. He squatted beside us, putting his hand on my arm. His brows were knit together in a frown, but he couldn’t meet my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Selynna.”
“This never would have happened if I had gone with Ilane.”
“Don’t even think that,” he peered up at me, his words sharp.
“It’s true,” I barked, my voice cracking. “If I had gone with him everyone would still be alive.”
“And you would have been the one to suffer.”
Would that have been worse than my family suffering?
But he was right. Ilane and the flereous were vicious, showing no regard for my life or the lives of those around them. Aksel and Ayre showed no such contempt. They had only killed in order to protect me.
I wanted to trust them. I desperately wanted to trust them—to be able to rely on them. With them gone, I would be alone. I would have no one. They’d risked their lives to save me when they could have just fled.
My face scrunched up and fresh tears began to pool in my eyes. “Why did they do it? Why kill so many innocent people?” I sobbed.
Aksel glanced at me with such pity. I was the one they had been after. I knew I was the reason all those people died, and so did he.
Aksel hugged me as I broke down in his arms.
8
It was tortuous to move my feet.
Even the rudimentary act of putting one foot in front of the other was almost too much to bear through the aching numbness that consumed me. I wanted nothing more than to stop moving, curl up on the forest floor and disappear. Let the void swallow me up and drag me down into its depths.
The two Supers periodically slowed their pace to check on me, even offering to carry me once or twice, but I could barely even acknowledge their questions. Speech eluded me, like my tongue was just a mound of sand in my mouth.
Concern etched their faces whenever they approached, but each time they ultimately left me to my own devices.
That’s right, let me wallow in peace.
We avoided the main path, instead walking through the dense underbrush of the forest. My brain kept sending signals through my body, trying to tell me my feet were cut up and bloody, that my bare legs were getting scratched by various creeping branches, but I trudged on, ignoring the sensations. It all seemed like a watered down, unimportant pain.
The Supers had told me, though my attention had not been full, they’d already walked for several hours while I was unconscious, carrying me as their burden. It explained why I hadn’t seen any tendrils of smoke when I’d woken up. Woodburne was long behind us now.
We were slowly making our way towards Rochdale, the town closest to home, yet even after a full day of travel we still had several more hours to go. They would have moved much faster without me dragging along behind them. I knew I was slowing them down now that I had regained consciousness. I knew, but I didn’t care.
The sun was beginning to set, the fading light bathing the forest in a soft vermilion glow. Shadows from trees reached out along the grass to meet one another, eventually they would paint the entire forest floor in darkness.
I heard the cheerful cry of birds in the trees calling to each other. Every chirp and tweet was like a dagger in my ears. How could everything continue on so normal when I had lost everything? How could the birds still sing, and the world still spin when so many had died such horrible, meaningless deaths?
I hadn’t realized I’d stopped moving until a hand took mine, leading me forward with a heart-rending gentleness. I obliged without thought.
“We’re almost there,” Aksel said, quiet and encouraging. “There’s an old hunting cabin around here. We’ll stay there for the night and continue on to Rochdale in the morning.”
Soon after he had informed me of our plans, the small cabin emerged from behind a thicket of trees. We approached the little, weathered shanty, and climbed up the rickety stairs. I had barely put one foot on the tiny porch when Ayre’s fingers encircled my wrist. My eyes followed his and saw bloody footprints trailing up the steps.
It seemed he wanted to say something but stopped. Instead, he sat me down on the edge of the porch and pulled my feet onto his lap. I didn’t care enough to protest. He traced a finger over each of the cuts, slowly and methodically, whether the injuries were large or insignificant. This must be his healing magic. It was a strange sensation, like a light tug around the edges of the wounds, but painless—a tingling warmth.
Once Ayre was done he offered me a weak smile, like you might give someone at a funeral, and Aksel led me inside to the modest bedroom. Going straight to a chest of drawers standing in the corner, he started pulling out clothes and throwing them on the floor, puffs of dust jumping up with each shirt that hit the ground.
“Unfortunately for you, this was a man’s hunting cabin.” He pulled out a shirt that looked big enough for me to use as a throw blanket. “A large man by the look of things.” The shirt was old and worn. Aksel held it up to his nose and grimaced, “It smells musty as all hells, but at least it’s something relatively clean to change into.”
I stood in the middle of the room, swaying under the weight of my misery.
Taking one look at me, Aksel’s brow drew together. “Why don’t you have a shower before you go to sleep? You’ll probably feel better,” he suggested.
With a hand on my back, he guided me towards the small, attached bathroom, equipped with an old toilet, a sink, and a narrow standing shower. Aksel was kind enough to start the water running. After some clamorous clattering through the pipes, water finally flowed from the shower head. He searched through the bathroom cupboards until he found an old bath towel, flapping it out before tossing it on top of the sink. He retreated from the bathroom to fetch the shirt I could change into and placed it on top of the closed toilet seat. I stood motionless, watching him. He even tested the temperature of the water with his hand.
Once satisfied, he gave me o
ne final glance and walked around me to the door. “Take your time,” he said, closing the door behind him.
I had to force myself to shower. Even the thought of stripping down and washing my body was overwhelming in my current state. But Aksel had gone through the effort of preparing a comfortable shower for me, I would feel worse if I wasted his kind gesture.
I stripped down and stepped into the warm cascade of water; the temperature was perfect, but I couldn’t enjoy it. An old bar of soap sat forgotten in the small dish. I went through the motions of showering as best I could, soaping my hair and body.
My hair was like straw in my fingers—rough, tangled, and brittle. As the water rinsed through my tresses, pieces of dead and burnt hair spiraled in the soapy water near my feet. I watched the blood, hair, and dirt all coalesce together as it spun down the drain. Tears prickled my eyes and I began sobbing. How was it that I had escaped with nothing more significant than singed hair? I’d been awake through the whole thing and I did nothing. How could I not have noticed anything? I’d just let them burn. Unintentional or not, I’d brought death to Woodburne.
Sobs wracked my body until my chest hurt through each spasm. My fingers dug into my face, nails biting into my skin.
When the wave of misery finally ebbed and my sobs petered out, I stood motionless for a long time, my mind blank as I let the water flow down my body. Red hair hung in a curtain in front of my face, further blocking out the world around me. I stayed there long after the water ran cold.
Eventually, I turned off the water and reached for the towel sitting on the toilet, drying off just enough to keep water from dripping all over the floor. With nothing else to wear, I pulled the oversized shirt over my head and put on the underwear I’d been wearing earlier.
Aksel was leaning on the chest of drawers when I exited the bathroom. He looked preoccupied with some deep, troubling thought, arms folded tight across his chest, before his gaze caught sight of me.
Pushing from the dresser, he huffed out a sigh, “Your hair is still wet.”
He slipped into the bathroom and reappeared in front of me a few seconds later with the discarded towel in his hands. He draped it over my head and began gently squeezing the excess water from my hair.
If I had any emotion left in me, I would have laughed. Rumors of deydre tell them as being ruthless—heartless supernatural beings who killed humans and other Supers for sport. Yet here one was, towel drying my hair as gentle as a mother. In fact, after the fire, Aksel had been nothing but caring and supportive.
He draped the towel around my neck and placed his hands on my shoulders, “There, that’s better,” he said with a soft smile, cocking his head in a very human-like gesture.
Something stirred in my stomach. This was so much different from his usual self-assured, cocky expression. This smile made him look tender and genuine. And miserable.
I took a step closer and slid my arms around his abdomen, resting my head against his chest. After a moment of hesitation, he returned the embrace.
So warm...
I was dwarfed in his arms, one wrapped around my back and one gently cradling my head against him. I felt safe. Being in his arms, I could forget about everything. I wanted to forget.
“Thank you for being here.” My voice was barely audible. “I don’t know what I would have done on my own.”
His body seemed to deflate around me as he sighed.
I pushed from his chest and peered up. He offered me another smile, but it still didn’t reach his eyes. Instead, all I could see reflected was grief. Grief for me? Or grief for Woodburne? Perhaps both.
This unforeseen vulnerability and empathy made my heart clench.
I don’t know how long we stared into each other’s eyes, but neither of us seemed to want to look away. An uncontrollable magnetism—a fierce need—drew me towards him. Acting on instinct alone, I slid a hand around the back of his neck, stood on tiptoes and guided his face down to mine.
Our lips met and a rush of heat and want and carnality burst free from where I had been keeping it contained all these years. I closed my eyes, savouring the moment, the warmth of his lips on mine, his strong hands on my back. My stomach tumbled over itself with delight.
Aksel tensed at the unexpected contact but didn’t pull away. Our lips melted together, as I melted further into his embrace.
Reluctantly breaking the kiss, I pulled away far enough to look into his eyes, where I could see a million questions fighting to be asked. Did he want this too? His beautiful green eyes wavered, their intensity holding me captive,
Calloused fingers brushed my cheek, sending tingles skittering down my inner thighs, his thumb brushing over my lower lip. My eyes fluttered closed as I reveled in his delicate touch. I found myself trembling in his arms, my heart thrumming in anticipation. Fingers slid through my hair, his kiss like melting honey against my mouth—hot and soft. The arm around my back tightened, tugging me in closer.
I grew dizzy and frenzied as we continued, our pace escalating, becoming more and more desperate. Opening my mouth for him, he plunged eagerly inside, his quick and skillful tongue teasing a maddening lust from deep within my core as feverish heat coursed through my veins like electricity. I weaved my fingers through his hair as our tongues massaged and teased one another’s.
The towel around my shoulders fell to the ground as his fingers twined deeper into my wet locks, a gentle tug pulling my head back. His lips moved to my exposed neck with a relentless vigor, releasing an animalistic moan from my throat.
I slid my thigh up his leg, arching my body into him, letting him support most of my weight as I balanced on one foot. His hand eagerly moved from my back to support my leg, gripping and caressing, running teasingly close to my backside. I leaned into him entirely, reveling in the magnified sensations that swept through me, the burning pleasure spreading through my skin, the tingling heat spreading through my core. I ground against him, feeling his stiff length between my legs.
I wiggled my arm between our melding bodies and passed a teasing finger along his bulge. A ragged moan escaped his throat, his fingers sliding under the edge of my panties and digging into the flesh of my ass. The bite of his short fingernails sent a new wave of pleasure through me.
After a moment of my clumsy fingers on the button of his jeans, he tensed. His hands jumped to my arms and he jerked away from me. My foot fell to the ground with an unexpected thud, and I stumbled back, our bodies forcefully breaking apart.
“Aksel…” I panted, the chill of apprehension overwhelming the passionate heat from only seconds ago. “Is something wrong…?”
He didn’t look at me—wouldn’t look at me. His head hung between us as he held me at arm’s length, hair covering any expression he might have been making. His fingers were tight on my shoulder to the point of pain.
Unpleasant memories of a similar situation flashed through my mind. No… this can’t be happening again.
He released my arms and took a step back, rubbing a hand along his jaw while still avoiding eye contact.
“You should get some sleep.” His voice was thick, full of emotions I couldn’t decipher. He exited through the bedroom door with no further explanation.
I was left standing alone in the middle of the small room, a heavy chill settling into my bones. The feverish, desperate lust I had been feeling only moments ago turned to bitter nausea.
Tears welled in my eyes. I trudged to the small, dusty bed and buried myself under the blankets where I could hide from my idiocy and disgrace, sneezing against the assault of dust clouds that had exploded from the sheets.
Curling up into a tight ball, I let self-pity, misery, and tears carry me away to unconsciousness.
9
The next morning was like waking up after a long afternoon nap. I was weary down to my bones and my eyes were dry and swollen. Sunlight streamed in through the small, grimy window, trying its best to beckon me out of bed.
It took a moment to remember I wasn’t in
my bed in The Sluggish Nymph, but in a dingy little cabin in the woods, where I’d come with Aksel and Ayre the previous night.
I huffed a sigh through my nose. Getting a full night’s sleep hadn’t helped at all in making me feel any less miserable.
The way Aksel had stared into my eyes just before he leaned in to kiss me clashed so viciously with the image of his head hung in shame…
It was clear that he didn’t want to have a physical relationship with me, regardless of all the flirting. He’d practically thrown me off of him when he came to his senses. Maybe he’d never really been interested in me at all, maybe casual flirting was just a part of his personality.
My fingers clenched under the blankets. How could I have been so stupid and reckless? Aksel and Ayre were the only two people I had left in this world and I’d probably ruined whatever flimsy friendship we’d been building together.
I couldn’t bear the thought of them leaving me now, all because of a stupid, libido-fueled mistake. I didn’t want to lose them.
I didn’t want to lose him.
No matter how hard I’d tried to deny it, I’d known the overwhelming magnetism of his personality from the day we’d gone out for coffee, and last night only amplified its pull. Being around him made me feel safe and wanted.
You’ve known him for less than a week Sel, you’re acting nuts. This is just some crazy hero-worship crush.
I deflated into the old mattress.
After one more prolonged sigh, I made a move to get out of bed, the shift of my body drawing my attention to a weight draped across my middle. Peeking down, I saw an arm slung over my waist and a hand hanging limp over my stomach. The smell of stale liquor floated past my nose.
I rolled over to find a tangle of brown hair on the pillow behind me, half covering a face that was lost in a peaceful, intoxicated sleep. I was surprised Aksel would even want to be in the same room as me after last night, much less the same bed, but I suppose there weren’t many options.
