Shipping Sharon

by Daisy Dexter Dobbs

  After a moment of silence, Maisy's glare dwindled, her lips twitching and finally curling into a smile. "I guess I did take the bait and run with it, didn't I?" she said. Norman nodded with a warm smile. This time, when Maisy shook her finger towards Norman, it was more jovial than threatening. "You got me, you pixilated old buzzard. You got me good," she laughed. Throwing her hands up in resignation, Maisy bellowed a tuneful sigh. "Okay, I admit it--I'm crazy about Keller Chaney. Absolutely, positively, undeniably, head over heels. You want to know how bad it is? I'll tell you how bad--the guy is even beginning to replace chocolate as the number one subject in my dreams."

  "Daydreams or night-dreams?"

  Maisy folded her arms across her chest. "Both," she said, nodding affirmatively.

  "Holy shit, " Norman said, eyes open wide. "Right up there with chocolate, huh? Oh honey, you do have it bad."

  "Yeah, and, that's not all," Maisy said, shaking her head in resignation. "You know how I've always felt about sex, right?"

  Nodding, Norman chuckled. "Mmm-hmm. It's about as appealing to you as being stranded on an island with Sharon Chaney."

  "Well guess what, Norman? Every time I see Keller, all I can think about is what it would be like to tear his clothes off and jump his gorgeous bones." Norman laughed and Maisy shrugged. "He's even naked in my dreams--and if his flesh and blood body is anything like his dream body . . ." Waving her hand through the air, as if to cool it off, Maisy released a slow moan.

  Norman laughed. "I get the idea."

  "I don't understand it." She threw her hands up into the air. "After John, I was sure I'd never want to engage in the act again. I mean, Norman, you have to understand, sex to me was something I absolutely dreaded. If I was lucky, John would grab me whenever the mood struck, stick that repulsive thumb-sized doohickey of his in me, and then within two minutes he'd be sawing logs."

  "And if you weren't lucky?"

  "It would be three minutes," Maisy said laughing. "No, seriously, the worst times were when John would be stinking drunk--which, actually, was the majority of the time--and that's when the bastard would get rough--really rough." Expelling a heavy sigh, Maisy rubbed the goosebumps from her arms. "Believe me, Norman, there was nothing even remotely romantic or enjoyable about it. And," she gave a sheepish smile and shrugged, "as you know, John was my first--and only--so that's all I have to go by."

  Wrapping his arm around Maisy's shoulder, Norman gave a gentle squeeze. "You poor kid. What a cockeyed induction into the world of sex and romance. It wouldn't be like that with Keller, Maisy."

  Maisy shrugged. "I'd like to think it wouldn't, but who knows, right? I mean the only comparisons I have to base it on is having sex with John, and what I've seen in the movies or read in romance novels. Is it ever really like that, Norman? Beautiful and sensual and romantic? I just can't imagine it." She sighed and shook her head.

  "Oh yes, Maisy. With the right partner, it's incredible. But, you'll find that out before too long, I'm sure." Norman cracked a wide grin.

  "What if that whole experience with John's made me frigid?"

  Norman threw his head back and laughed. "After what I witnessed this afternoon in Keller's bedroom, I can assure you frigidity is something you needn't worry about, Maisy."

  "Eeew. Yeah, I forgot about that." Plowing her fingers through her hair, Maisy plopped down in a chair and rested her head against the wall, gazing at the ceiling. "I don't know, Norman. The whole thing scares me. Not just the sex part--everything. Keller makes me feel like I've never felt before in my entire life, and while it's wonderful, it scares the hell out of me at the same time." She laughed. "That doesn't make much sense, does it?" She dropped her head into her hands and growled.

  "On the contrary, it makes perfect sense." Norman rubbed her back.

  "I'm just so crazy about Keller, and we got off to such a bad start because of me and my stupid ideas about not having anything to do with him because he's Sharon's brother. Then I go and make an utter fool out of myself in front of the man and his mother today." Groaning, Maisy leaped up from her chair and began to pace. "Oh Norman, tell me--what should I?"

  "Good," Norman said, beaming, as he exuberantly rubbed his hands together. "I thought you'd never ask. Don't worry, my little Maisy, Uncle Norman's got a few truly excellent ideas up his sleeve."

  Stopping her pacing abruptly, Maisy turned to Norman. "Uh-oh," she said, with a cautious smile. "Something tells me I'm going to regret this."

  * * *

  Chapter Ten

  "Hail, hail, the gang's all here. Break out the band 'cause Big Willy's here. Yeehaaa!" The booming voice from the front of the travel agency belonged to Norman's cousin, Wilson Jasper, otherwise known as Big Willy."Oh God," Norman said, dropping his head into his hands. "It's Wilson."

  "There's still time to escape out the back door if we hurry," Maisy said, laughing.

  "Hey, cousin, where ya hidin'?" Big Willy's boisterous voice was getting closer.

  "Not a good idea," Norman said. "Especially seeing as how Wilson may be a key player in my plan to get you and Keller together--and--get rid of Sharon at the same time."

  Maisy vaulted out of her chair. "What?"

  "So, don't plan on going anywhere until my cousin leaves because I'll need you in here with me. Okay?""Now you just hold it right there, Norman--"

  "Shhh." He tapped his forefinger against his lips. "Not so loud, he'll hear you. Look," Norman said in a near whisper, "I know how you feel about Wilson, Maisy--and Lord knows I don't blame you--but, just go along with this and put up with him this one last time. Remember, he's moving to Saudi Arabia, so you won't have to see him again for years."

  "God willing."Norman got up and tiptoed to the door of his office, stealthily peeking out. "He'll be here in a few minutes," he whispered. "He's schmoozing and flirting along the way and the girls are giggling and eating it up."

  "I don't get it. How can they fall for that grating, age-old, chauvinist crap of his?"

  "Gee," Norman said, laughing, his gaze still directed at Big Willy. "Do you suppose it could have anything to do with the fact that Wilson's filthy-rich, powerful, tall and ruggedly handsome?" Slipping his head back into his office, Norman tossed Maisy a wink.

  Maisy shrugged. "Rich and handsome or not, the guy's still a major jerk." Big Willy reminded her of a taller, handsomer version of Norman. Same hazel eyes, same shock of sandy-blonde hair, same engaging smile. But, that's where the similarities ended. While Norman effervesced with charm, charisma, and a winning personality, Big Willy had all the appeal of a rain-soaked swatch of cowhide.

  "And for God's sake, don't say or do anything to piss him off, either," Norman said. Anticipating Maisy's retort, he held his hands up in defense. "The plan, remember? We need to keep Wilson in good spirits."

  Maisy heaved a noisy sigh. "Norman, you conveniently neglected to mention that you were brewing some lamebrained scheme involving me and that giant asshole cousin of yours."

  Wincing, Norman pushed at the air with his hands in a shushing motion as he scooted back to his desk. "I know, I know. There wasn't any time. The plan just came to me this morning out of the clear blue. Don't worry, Maisy, it's foolproof . . . well, pretty much." Norman offered an ambiguous smile and shrugged.

  "But, Norman, you know damned well how I feel about that arrogant, presumptuous, super-macho, shit-head cousin of yours."

  "Well lookee here," Big Willy blared as he came around the corner and poked his head into Norman's office. "Cousin Norman's got a bony-fide angel in his office."

  "Oh gawd," Maisy mumbled, closing her eyes.

  "Lil' lady, you come right on over here and let Big Willy get a good look at you."

  Wincing, Maisy offered Big Willy a reluctant smile as she extended her hand. "Nice to see you again, Willy."

  "Big Willy." He nodded and winked. Rather than shake Maisy's extended hand, the strapping six-foot-six Texan drew his hand from his side as if it were a six-shooter and pointed it towards Maisy. "
Hey now, Big Willy never shakes hands with a lovely lady when he can give her a big ol' Texas-style hug instead." Smiling broadly, he winked again and grabbed Maisy into a hug, squeezing the breath from her lungs. Holding her at arm's length a moment later, he lifted her into the air as though she was a rag-doll and swung her around. "Now, ain't you just the purdiest little thing I ever did see?" Still holding Maisy high, he gave her an appraising once-over and whistled. "Why, Maisy, you're just a wispy little bit of a thing now, you know that, honey?"

  "Willy . . ."

  "Uh-uh." Big Willy shook his head and tsked.

  "Big Willy," Maisy said, flashing the best apologetic smile she could muster under the circumstances. "Please put me down." Like a true Texas gentleman, Big Willy obliged and tipped his Stetson, revealing a thick head of sandy-colored hair. Cringing when she looked down at the wrinkled mess that was once her favorite black silk blouse, Maisy mumbled something inaudible as she smoothed and tugged at the fabric.

  Rising from his chair, Norman walked around to the front of his desk, hand extended. "Hey, Wilson, er, Big Willy, great to see you."

  "Cousin Norman, you old hound dog." Bypassing Norman's hand, his cousin pulled him into a bear hug, then, letting go, gave Norman a friendly whack on the back, so hard it sent him careening half way across the room. "How the hell are ya?"

  "Whew. Still alive, I think," Norman said with a tentative laugh as he tugged at his collar and adjusted his tie.

  "I see you're wearin' that classy tie I sent you last Christmas, cousin."

  Fingering the gaudy, lasso and cowboy boot covered monstrosity, Norman forced a smile. "One of my absolute favorites. Can't wear it often enough, can I Maisy?"

  Nodding with a sickly grin, Maisy said, "He practically sleeps in it."

  "I wore it in honor of your visit today." Norman nodded convincingly.

  "Glad you like it, 'cause I gotta another real humdinger for you out in my suitcase."

  Norman's shoulders slumped. "Gee, Wilson, you shouldn't have."

  "Aw, nothin's too good for my favorite cousin--even if he is a Yankee." Laughing, Big Willy walloped Norman with a playful punch in the arm, rendering Norman's arm all but useless for the next hour or two. "You know, cousin, I've decided the time's come for me to steal away that purdy little secretary of yours," Big Willy raised an eyebrow, motioning towards Maisy, "and convince her to become the next Missus."

  Maisy rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I am not Norman's secretary, Wil . . . Big Willy. I'm his Vice-president."

  "Well sure you are, honey." Big Willy directed an exaggerated, conspiratory wink towards Norman and laughed.

  "Well, I am." Stamping her foot, Maisy huffed an exasperated sigh and planted her fists on her hips. "And, for the hundredth time, I am not interested in becoming the fourth Mrs. Big Willy Jasper, thank you very much."

  "Hot diggity, she's a feisty one, cousin Norman." Big Willy laughed and scooped Maisy into another hug. "That's how I like my women . . . good and feisty." Standing with Maisy locked in his arms, Big Willy rocked from side to side. "You know, cousin Norman, Sweet Pea here and me could make beautiful music together."

  Her face buried into the fibers of Big Willy's doe-skin-tan suede jacket, Maisy cried a muffled, "Ooooh!" Pushing with all her might, she finally escaped his firm clench and, taking a deep breath, plowed her fingers through her hair. "And why do you insist on talking about me as if I weren't even in the room?"

  "She always this hot-tempered?" Big Willy asked Norman.

  Maisy threw her hands into the air. "That's it, I give up," she said, turning to leave Norman's office only to be blocked by Big Willy's massive frame in the doorway. Looking up into his handsome, grinning face, she sneered before plopping down into a chair, burying her face in her hands and groaning.

  "M-a-i-s-y," Norman said in a warning tone out of the corner of his mouth as he tugged at his collar and smiled.

  Slowly rising from her chair as she transmitted a narrow-eyed glare towards Norman, Maisy sidled over to him, discreetly crunching her heel into the toe of his shoe. Smiling for Big Willy's benefit, she grabbed her boss's sleeve and yanked him close.

  "Jesus, you're killing me," Norman whispered through a grimace as he worked to maintain his smile.

  "Don't you M-a-i-s-y me, Norman," she whispered, mocking Norman's warning tone. "There is no way on earth I'd ever consider marrying that walking, talking side of Texas beef--plan or no plan. You got that?"

  "I told you to trust me on this, didn't I," Norman said through a clenched teeth smile. "Don't worry, marrying him isn't part of the plan." Turning his attention to his cousin, Norman beamed a bright smile. "Don't mind Maisy, Big Willy," he said. "She's just overtired. We've been swamped--everybody wants to get away from the Chicago's cold temperatures in February, and Maisy's been putting in too many hours."

  "Well that explains it. Sweet little thing like that shouldn't be out here in the corporate world tryin' to bust her butt . . ." he turned to Maisy and doffed his Stetson, "pardon the profanity, ma'am." Maisy rolled her eyes and huffed. "She should be at home takin' care of womanly things, like havin' babies and such."

  "Norman . . ." Maisy drew his name out through clenched teeth.

  Giving an acknowledging nod to Maisy, Norman led his cousin to a chair. "Come on, have a seat, big fella, and I'll fix us a cup of espresso while we catch up on things."

  "Sure," Big Willy said, wedging his large frame into of the armchairs. Studying the subtle peach, ivory and gray tones of Norman's office, Big Willy turned to Maisy and smiled. "This here stuff is all new since I was here last. Bet you picked out all this cute, fluffy, flowery stuff all by yourself, didn't you, honey?" He smoothed his hand over the persimmon print fabric Norman had taken weeks to select for the upholstery fabric in his office. "I can always tell a woman's touch." He winked.

  "Not me," Maisy said, extending her arm towards Norman. "Norman's the one who picked out--"

  "The designer," Norman blurted, nearly spilling the coffee beans as he slid into a rapid burst of nervous laughter. "I picked out the interior designer for the redecorating project." He tugged at his collar again. "She was a real doll. You know," he laughed again, "thirty-six, twenty-four, thirty-six." Winking, Norman waved his hands along invisible curves in the air, ignoring the sound of Maisy's gasp.

  "Gotcha, cousin." Big Willy winked back. "Tell ya what, let's make that coffee a little more interesting with some of this." He slid a cowhide covered silver flask from inside his jacket. "Nothin' goes better with coffee than a little bourbon I always say." He flashed a white-toothed grin.

  "I've got work to do," Maisy said, rising from her chair. "I'm leaving."

  "Sit down," Norman said firmly, flashing a wide smile when Big Willy eyed him curiously. Glaring at Norman, Maisy expelled the breath she'd been holding and returned to her seat. "She looks peaked," Norman explained to Big Willy. "She needs to rest--until I tell her it's okay to leave." Norman tossed a narrowed eyed look Maisy's way.

  "Nothin' wrong with bein' a little firm, cousin Norman. Sometimes that's all they understand." Grasping the brim of his hat, Big Willy tipped it towards Maisy. "No offense meant, ma'am." Folding her arms across her chest, Maisy crossed her eyes and smiled maliciously. She would have liked nothing better than to whip that damned Stetson across the room like a boomerang so it would take out Big Willy first, and then knock the crap out of Norman before it returned to her. The delicious thought broadened her smile.

  Norman stopped grinding the coffee beans long enough to jump in before Maisy had a chance to say anything. "So, how's Aunt Ruthie and Uncle Joe?"

  "Mama and Daddy are doing real good. Got their sixtieth wedding anniversary comin' up, so I thought I'd send them on a little cruise. You can help me put somethin' nice together for 'em, can't you, cousin Norman?"

  "Absolutely. We'll get right on it. What did you have in mind . . . Caribbean . . . Hawaii . . . Mexico . . . Alaska . . . Europe?"

  "Yeah, that sounds real goo
d."

  "Which one"

  "All of 'em. I want to send Mama and Daddy on one of them 'round the world cruises."

  "Excellent," Norman said, leaving his espresso preparation long enough to briskly rub his hands together.

  Looking over at her boss, Maisy could swear she saw neon-green dollar signs flash across his hazel eyes as she imagined hearing Norman's thoughts scream, ka-ching!

  After Big Willy's third cup of espresso-laced bourbon, he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. Half-closed eyelids framed the fervor in his eyes as he languished in a long, lusty appraisal of Maisy's physical attributes. Reaching over, Big Willy took Maisy's hand in his own, studying her long, slender fingers and gently stroking the creamy skin."Soft as a baby's bottom," he said, winking, as he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. "Maisy, honey, I don't know if cousin Norman mentioned it or not, but I'm movin' to Saudi Arabia for a time, on business, and I'd be right pleased if you'd join me." Maisy visibly began to squirm in her seat. "We'd have to get hitched, of course, 'cause them there A-rabs don't take none too well to livin' in sin from what I hear." Patting Maisy's hand, Big Willy smiled and winked. Her eyes wide with astonishment, Maisy made a move to slip her hand from his, but he was too fast. Before she knew what was happening, he had slipped his arms around her, scooped Maisy from her chair and planted her on his lap. "I love you, Maisy darlin', sure as I'm sittin' here, I do. You and me'll make some might fine looking babies together, yes siree." Nodding, he leaned his head down and nuzzled Maisy's neck.

  "Oh for . . ." Maisy mumbled a few choice expletives under her breath as she squirmed and struggled in vain to escape his grasp. "Let go of me you big ox."

  With a firm hold on Maisy, Big Willy laughed and turned to Norman. "Cousin Norman, I'll never be able to understand why you didn't snap up this feisty little firebrand all for yourself when you had the chance."

  A reddened hue swept over Norman's cheeks as he laughed nervously. "I uh . . . I guess Maisy's just not my type."