by Aiden Bates
Gus nodded. "So what's rule number two?"
"Don't dress like that guy." Silas jerked a thumb toward Logan. "Ever."
Logan flipped him off. "I like my suits, thank you very much."
"They're not going to protect you if your bike wipes out on the road, man. All that lightweight wool?" Sam shook his head and waved a finger at Logan. "It's going to be a bitch to clean out of your road rash, buddy."
Logan joined in the general laughter. Things might be going to crap next door, but he was starting to feel more settled than he'd felt in a long time.
Chapter Ten
Sam held Logan's hand and let his eyes roam around the office. It looked like a nice enough place, he guessed. The walls were a weird cream color, but at least they weren't yellow. Through all the years in foster care, and the years leading up to it, the walls in every doctor's office he'd ever been to had been yellow. It had been the one consistent thing in an inconsistent life, and he'd always associate yellow paint with ill health and dirt.
"Settle down." Logan had this talent, a secret superpower. He wasn't just great in bed. He could speak in a voice that apparently only Sam could hear, and he could do it without moving his lips. What kind of man had talent like that? "It's perfectly safe here. You're fine."
Sam breathed in and let it out slowly, just like Foster Mom Two had tried to teach him. Meditation or something like that. He was safe here, Logan was right. He'd chosen this doctor. No one was making him be here. No one was going to take pictures of him or touch him in ways that he didn't want. No one was going to make comments about his cleanliness or about his family. He was here for a good reason, not for anything bad. "Sorry," he whispered back.
Sam did not have the superpower that Logan had. A couple of the other people hanging around in the waiting room turned to stare. Sam was the only male patient in there, or at least he was the only male patient that he could see. Maybe there were others back in a waiting room, or maybe some omegas were in disguise. Sam wasn't here to judge.
Logan looked right at one cranky-looking older woman for a good ten seconds before he patted Sam's leg. "Don't be sorry, Sam. I know this has to be hard for you, but trust me. It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay. We're here, we're together, and I'm not going to let anything happen to you."
Sam nodded and tried to stop his foot from vibrating against the floor. At least the floor was carpeted.
Two other patients got called in, at the same time. One of them must have been near her time. She was as big as a house. Sam tried not to stare, but it was hard not to. He was going to get that big. His whole body was going to swell up. Logan wouldn't want to look at him again — well, Logan was already having a hard time looking at him, but once he started to show it was going to be all over. It wasn't like he had been claimed. Logan had no ties to Sam, besides the baby. The baby that Logan had wanted Sam to put up for adoption.
"Breathe, Sam." Logan put a hand on Sam's back and rubbed soothing little circles between his shoulder blades. "It's okay. I'm right here with you."
"Is your friend okay?" A young woman, maybe even a teenager, walked up to them. Sam risked a glance at her face, expecting to see cruelty or judgment. All he saw was concern. "Do you need anything? Some water or something?"
Sam nodded, grateful for the distraction. "Water would be great. Thank you."
She nodded and scampered over to the water cooler. Sam leaned on Logan for a second, wrapping himself up in that black tea scent until she came back. "Do you always have a panic attack at the doctor's office?"
Sam squirmed. "They're not my favorite places. Some not so great memories."
The girl nodded. "That's understandable. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. Have you seen Dr. Young before?" Sam shook his head, so she gave him a little smile. "I've been seeing him for a couple of years now. He's a really good doctor, and he's a good guy too. If you tell him that you're uncomfortable, he'll make sure he does everything he can to help you out."
Sam blinked back tears. Had they come from hormones or was he really just that much of an emotional wreck? "Thanks. I appreciate the help."
She brightened up. "Don't mention it. And hey." She leaned a little closer. "Don't let Agnes there make you feel bad, okay? She lives across the street from me and she's just a judgmental old bat."
"Chloe!" A middle-aged woman who had been waiting with the helpful teen gasped while the nasty old woman's jaw dropped.
Logan laughed. "Thanks, Chloe."
Chloe waved to Agnes as she headed back to her seat.
Sam sipped at the water and tried to focus on the cold liquid sliding down his throat. As he fought to control his thoughts and fears, his panic subsided and he was able to contain himself to only startling every time someone so much as shifted their weight in a chair.
Twenty minutes later, the nurse called his name. She tried to block Logan from going with him into the exam room, insisting that the exam was for patients only. Sam grabbed at Logan's arm, hard enough to bruise.
"I'm not going without him," he told her, planting his feet. "I'm not."
"Mr. Marlowe, the rule is for your own protection." She glanced at Logan again.
Chloe jumped to their defense again, rushing up to the nurse and taking her aside for a moment. Sam heard a rushed flurry of whispers, and then the pair re-appeared. "It looks like we can make an exception." The nurse's cheeks were red, but she gave Sam a sympathetic smile as she led him into the corridor where the offices were. Chloe gave him the thumbs up as she rushed back to her chair.
"That girl is something else," he said, scratching at his arm.
"She really is. She's heading off to college in the fall." The nurse showed Sam and Logan into an exam room. "First thing we'll need is a height and weight, and then we'll do some measurements to get a baseline."
Sam shuddered. "Measurements?" He took off his shoes and his heavy leather jacket and stepped up onto the scale. Logan took a seat on one of the maroon plastic chairs.
"Yeah. They help us to estimate how much your baby is growing. We know about how big you should be getting month to month, and then week to week. If you're getting too big too fast, or not getting big enough, we know to look for a problem." The nurse winked at him. "Sometimes a low-tech solution is the best one. We do give you a card that you're supposed to carry around with you, as a quick reference guide in case you need to go into a hospital for any reason." She frowned when she saw his weight. "I think you're a little underweight. Have you had a lot of morning sickness?"
"No." Sam shook his head and stepped off the scale.
"Sam sometimes forgets to eat when he's upset or stressed, and there's been a lot going on lately between the baby and the bar." Logan stepped in and took Sam's hand. "His brother and I are paying closer attention now and are making sure he gets fed."
Sam blushed and leaned into Logan's touch. "Way to make me sound like a toddler."
Logan wrapped an arm around his waist. "Eat something and I won't have to."
The nurse laughed. "Okay. Any pressing symptoms that I should warn the doctor about?"
"Fatigue," Sam told her. "I think that's normal, though?"
"Buddy, you're growing a whole new person. That takes a lot of energy. Fatigue is normal, and you have to learn to be patient with yourself. That's hard for most pregnant people, especially first-timers. We're taught to be hard on ourselves from a young age and it's really difficult for us to learn to let that go and put our feet up sometimes. Any swelling, sickness, shortness of breath?"
"No." Sam shook his head. "If it weren't for the fatigue I probably wouldn't realize that I was pregnant."
"All right. That's a good thing. Although between you and me, people who have a lot of symptoms during pregnancy talk about them all the time. People who don't, don't, because there's nothing to say. So this idea of pregnancy gets built up in people's minds and they start to worry that they're not pregnant if they're not throwing up for six straight months a
nd then in pain for the rest. Hang tight, I'll go get Dr. Young."
The nurse left the room, and Sam and Logan were left alone again.
They weren't left alone for long. Dr. Young entered the room five minutes after the nurse left. He shook both of their hands, and took a look at the chart that the nurse had drawn up. "All right, let's see what we have here. It looks like this is your first child, Sam. Is this the case for you, too, Logan?"
Logan nodded. "Neither of us has much experience with kids, to be honest." Sam squeezed his hand, grateful that he'd brought it up.
"That's fine. We offer a class for new parents over at the Y here in Gray. We cast a wide net; parents from all walks of life, bio parents and adoptive parents. And we cover more than the first three months, too, so you won't suddenly hit three years old, get confronted with a kid throwing a diaper around the house and wonder exactly how you got there." He chuckled. "Okay, Sam, it looks like your vital signs are good. You're a little underweight, but Casey tells me that you're on top of that."
Sam chuckled. "Yeah. I get that I need to pay closer attention to that stuff now, and I am. I'm making the effort and everything."
"Great. Okay, let's talk about the tattoos."
Sam rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. "I'm not having them removed, for crying out loud."
Logan nudged him a little. "Calm down, babe."
Dr. Young gave a little laugh. "I'm sure people tell you that you should do that. I wouldn't recommend it during pregnancy to begin with, and I'd be kind of ridiculous if I told you to get rid of tattoos considering that I've got my own." He smirked. "No one's going to shame you in this office, Sam. Not for anything, okay? I mean, it's not a great idea to go out and get tattooed while you're pregnant, but you probably knew that."
Sam hung his head, sheepish. "Sorry, Doctor. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions."
"It's okay. You've probably gotten plenty of grief for them over the years, and Chloe mentioned that you've had some not-so-great experiences with doctors in the past. Does that mean that you haven't been receiving regular medical care?"
Sam shrugged. "I pay for health insurance."
"All right. Well, you seem healthy as near as I can tell. I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, but I am going to tell you that it's important to make all of your pre-natal appointments. For your baby's sake." Young gestured to the exam table. "You're not really here to get lectures about regular physicals, though, are you?"
Sam shrank away from his happy, grinning face. "No, sir."
"You're here to hear the baby's heartbeat, am I right?" Dr. Young winked as Logan held onto Sam's hands.
Sam let Dr. Young pull his shirt up, exposing his belly. The doctor grabbed something that looked for all the world like a kids walkie-talkie with an extra microphone stuck onto the side. Sam looked up into Logan's eyes as static poured out of the monstrosity's speakers. He didn't flinch, though, when the doctor applied the business end of the microphone to his belly.
At first, they didn't hear anything but static and the occasional squeaking sound that Sam figured probably related to digestion. After a moment, though, he heard it: a steady thumping, like a really intense piece of music at a club. His jaw dropped open and he stared into his alpha's eyes as they both listened to the miraculous sound of their baby's heart beating away, deep under the muscles of Sam's belly.
Logan's blue eyes shone. "That's our kid," he said, when the doctor pulled the microphone away. "That's our baby." He leaned down and kissed Sam. "We made that."
"You did," Dr. Young said, putting the instrument away. "You made that, together. Just the two of you. I'm guessing that you're due in June sometime. I'll know a little bit better when we get the first ultrasound, which I like to do in the third month. I feel like you can get more information and more detail that way."
Sam ran a hand over his belly, lingering over the spot where the microphone had picked up the heartbeat. "Whatever you say. You went to school for this stuff; I tend bar."
"Excellent. Do you have any questions for me? Any concerns about what activities are restricted?" Dr. Young sat on a stool near the exam table.
"Can I still ride my bike?" Sam sat up and tugged his shirt down.
"There are risks when you ride a motorcycle, whether you're pregnant or not. I'd say use extra caution, avoid bumpy roads when you can, and don't ride when you hear the words black ice in the forecast. Other than that, do whatever you would normally do until it becomes uncomfortable. Except drinking, smoking, or any recreational drugs, but you don't smell like smoke and you seem very clear-headed, so I'm not worried about the drugs."
Sam grinned for the first time since they got to the doctor's. "Thanks, Dr. Young. I'm sure I'll be seeing you again."
"You'll be seeing me pretty regularly, Sam. It was a real pleasure meeting you." He shook hands with Sam and Logan again, and they were able to leave.
"That was our baby!" Sam threw his arms around Logan when they got out into the parking lot. "We heard his little heart beating!"
Logan only hesitated for half a second before throwing his arms around Sam and hugging him close. "It makes this all so much more real." Logan wiped at his eyes. "I mean, can you believe it? We're going to be parents!"
Sam rested his head on Logan's shoulder. "He's going to be the most amazing baby in the world, Logan. He'll be so happy. He's going to be surrounded by love, all the time. With you, and me, and Silas around him, he's never going to know a second of pain."
Logan pulled him close. "You're awfully sure the baby's a boy, there, Sam. You have insider information or something?"
Sam slid into the passenger seat of Logan's BMW. "No. But I don't want to think of the baby as it. I'll be just as happy if the kid is a girl. I just want the baby to be healthy."
Logan started up the car. "Me too, Sam. Me too."
***
Logan didn't have the whole day off from the trattoria. He'd taken the morning off to go to the first prenatal appointment with Sam, but he couldn't swing the whole day. He'd intended to take the day. He'd told Kaylee, whose hand was still void of any ring, that he was taking the day. He'd messaged Utkin, too, and told him that he needed the day for a doctor's appointment.
Utkin had texted him on Tuesday night to tell him that he could have the morning, but not the afternoon. Utkin was back in Portland, and he wanted to meet with him as soon as possible.
Logan managed to put on a brave face during the appointment. He pulled it off by pushing all thoughts of Utkin out of his head. The ogre only reared his spectral head after the appointment, just as they were getting into the car. Logan knew that once they left Gray, and went back to Westbrook, he'd have to face reality. Reality meant a world where he wasn't Logan Evers, family man and alpha, but Logan Evers, manager of a failing restaurant.
His mother's tombstone flashed before his eyes as he walked into the office, but he pushed the thought aside. Dealing with Utkin was hardly the time for sentiment. He'd figure something out, find a way to support his baby.
No new crises had reared their ugly heads before he got to the office. No, all that was waiting for him were the old crises.
Utkin showed up at about two thirty. His face gave nothing away. He didn't look at any of the staff, but he never did. If Logan were the kind of guy to read into things like the way a man walked or carried himself, he'd read into Utkin's movements. He'd see signs and portents in the way that Utkin seemed to try to avoid contact with any of the surfaces in the restaurant.
Utkin let himself into Logan's office and looked around himself, dispassionate as ever. "I noticed that you let one of the bartenders go."
"Trying to save on costs, sir." Logan gestured to the pile of bills in front of him. "It's not a lot, but every bit helps, you know?"
"He never filed for unemployment." Utkin sat down and sprawled in his chair, eyes on Logan.
"He got another job right away. If I didn't know better I'd suspect he'd been looking already." Logan shook
his head. It wasn't a lie. Gus hadn't been looking, and so Logan did know better. "It all worked out in the end. He's getting more hours where he is now, and he's happier."
"I see." Utkin sat up a little bit straighter. "Logan, I've come here with news. I could have just sent an email, but I wanted to tell you personally."
Logan's jaw froze for a moment. He saw the house, the diner, his mother's grave, all lined up in a row. He knew what Utkin was going to tell him, but he couldn't make himself say it. "Sir?" His mouth felt as dry as a canyon.
"It's the restaurant. I brought your ideas to the rest of the partners, and while they thought the ideas were intriguing they felt that we'd already sunk too much money into this location to justify any further investment. You're right, Logan. Westbrook will probably be ready for this type of restaurant eventually, but not now. Five or ten years down the road, maybe." He sighed. "I'm very sorry. I know how much this opportunity meant to you."
