by Lily Lord
“I do recognize that you do not adhere to all the conventional modes of behavior. But such avant garde thinking can only go so far.” Darcy sat down in a high backed chair and put his chin on his hand. He appeared to be deep in thought for a moment, and then he resumed, his eyes serious and his voice level.
“We must adhere to the most conservative possible standards in terms of modern medical treatment. That means that you will take to bed this afternoon, and I will send for a specialist from London regarding your condition and speak to him about appropriate foods be prescribed. I will also make sure that regular blood letting is part of your regime.”
Elizabeth gasped. “That is entirely unacceptable. I will not have it. I could not bear it.”
Darcy stood up. “You are my wife. You will have what I say. Under the law, I can have you confined to this room every moment until you have this child. For that matter, I can have you confined in here forever.” His eyes were blazing. His temper had taken its head and was galloping full steam. Elizabeth had never seen him so coldly adamant in all their time together.
“You belong to me. And this child belongs to me. I can make it so that you never again see the light of day, Mrs. Darcy.” He was breathing hard, and his coloring was high. At that moment, he turned and took two strides to reach the door. He behaved like a man marching to battle.
But when he turned back to face her, there was something different in his demeanor. Perhaps the realization of what he was demanding had sunk in. But it looked as though there was no turning back for Fitzwilliam Darcy now.
“I will send Fiona up to you. After that, your door will be locked.”
Elizabeth felt rooted to the spot. This was beyond belief. Her husband, her lover, the man to whom she had pledged her life and her trust, was going to be her jailer. Could it be? Could such an ogre have been hiding within the warm demeanor of her beloved Mr. Darcy all along?
Had he gone mad?
All these thoughts swirled through her head as she watched him leave. She felt like crying out. She felt like falling to her knees. She felt like begging him to change his mind.
But she would not demean herself in that way. Not for him nor for any man. Surely he did not mean this.
The door closed hard and tight and Elizabeth sat down. She knew that he could not have the key on his person… and so she was not really locked in. Yet. Furthermore, there was a connecting door to the rest of her suite of rooms. She could walk out into the hallway right now. But she knew it was foolish to play that sort of game and have him chase her down like an errant child, thwarting any attempts at containment. If he intended to lock her in, he would find a way.
No. She would have to reason with him. For now, she would bide her time and keep her own counsel.
Despite her intentions to be strong, quiet sobs leaked from her throat and tears came hot down her cheeks. She dabbed at her eyes with a lace-edged handkerchief that had her newly attained initials embroidered thereon… with a monogrammed “D” for Darcy in the center. Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy. A breathtaking title. One which now seemed to have a frightening side to it.
Elizabeth sat there, stunned, stanching the tears and wondering whether she should have foreseen this kind of behavior. She knew that her husband could be stubborn. And she knew that he was certainly within his legal rights to do anything that he wanted with his wife. She had seen glimpses of his temper before, but nothing that compared to this.
After a few minutes of quiet crying, she dabbed her eyes one final time and put her handkerchief away. She took a circuit around the small circumference of her sitting room, imagining what it would feel like if she had to live in this small space for months at a time. It could not happen. She would not let it happen.
Her attention was called to the window as she saw the Darcy coach being pulled up in front of the house. Of course. They were all going off to church. It was Christmas day!
Elizabeth watched as her husband handed her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner into the coach. Georgiana followed. Surely they could not know of the situation. He would not have told them that she was confined to her room. Perhaps he had described her absence from the family outing as her decision, because she had been feeling unwell. That would be a perfectly logical explanation for her not joining them at church. No one would wonder in the least.
Elizabeth heard a quiet tap on the door. It could only be Fiona.
“Come in,” she said. She hoped that her voice did not betray the fact that she had been weeping. She wanted, at least, to keep her dignity.
The door opened and Fiona stepped in. She bobbed a curtsy. “How are you feeling ma’am? Mr. Darcy told me that you would be staying in your room. He asked me to fetch for you anything you desired. What a shame for you to miss Christmas.”
With a start, Elizabeth realized that Darcy could not have had time to put his plan into place. He was not so diabolical that he would have given orders to keep her in her room against her will immediately. At least, she could not believe that he would have done so as yet. Certainly, while he and the rest of the family were away at church, she could have free rein at Pemberley. This was her opportunity to communicate with anyone she wished to in person.
“Fiona, I am surprised and pleased to report that I am feeling much better. I believe that I will go to church after all.” Elizabeth turned to look at herself in the mirror over her dressing table. She was wearing a gown that was respectable enough for church, although not, perhaps, as ornate as she might have worn for Christmas services under other circumstances. “Hurry downstairs and have the carriage brought round for me immediately. I am sure that I can catch Mr. Darcy and the rest of the family not long after they arrive. And being that it is Christmas, there will be a great crowd at the church today. I do not think that I will have missed much by the time I arrive.”
Fiona clapped her hands in surprise. “Oh, Mrs. Darcy, I am so happy. Mr. Darcy told me that you would be staying in your room until the baby is born, and I…” Fiona placed her hand over her mouth. Her eyes grew large and her face reddened. “Forgive me. I should not have said that.”
Elizabeth shook her head. “Never mind, Fiona. We will work on your discretion later. Right now, I need to get to church.” She turned to the mirror again and tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear. “Now, please run downstairs as quickly as you are able and summon the carriage. And do not tell a soul about my supposed confinement and the possibility that I am having a baby. That is not a certainty and not information that should be spread about.”
Fiona nodded her head, her eyes serious. She went to the door and opened it. Before she stepped out, she turned around one more time. “But you are having a baby, are you not, ma’am?”
Elizabeth picked up a bonnet and put it on her head. “Only the Lord knows the answer to that, Fiona. But we will all find out soon enough. Hurry, so I get to the church on time.”
Fiona curtsied once more and moved into the hallway. In her haste, she left the door open. Elizabeth could hear her footsteps as she nearly ran down the hall.
Picking up a warm shawl to wrap around her shoulders, Elizabeth thought about the risk she was taking in openly defying her husband’s wishes. Going to church against his orders was very likely to inflame his temper even more. But she wanted to make her independence clear. This was a statement she simply had to make.
Once again, she felt herself trembling in anticipation of what Darcy’s reaction might be. Before she could dwell on it, she stepped out in the hallway and began to move at a swift pace down to the staircase. The few servants that she passed along the way merely nodded and stepped aside. She greeted them all with a smiling “Happy Christmas” and kept moving. Apparently no one saw anything amiss in her being up and about on her own.
By the time she got to the front hallway she had calmed down. Darcy might find her showing up at the church an outrageous provocation, but she could not do anything else. It was the beginning of her marriage. The beginning of her future life wit
h this man, and that of her children. She had to establish her position.
After a few moments, Elizabeth heard the sound of a carriage being brought up. Fiona must have run very quickly to get the message out that the horses should be harnessed and the carriage brought round.
The under butler, Murphy, came into the front hall. If he was surprised to see her, he did not indicate it. He opened the door for her to step out and she made her way down the front stairs as the driver got off his box to open the door to the carriage and hand her in.
“I did as you requested, ma’am. I had them hitch up our swiftest horses, so that we could quickly arrive to the church after Mr. Darcy and the others.”
“Thank you, Murphy,” she said, as he helped her up. Once ensconced in the carriage, all of Elizabeth’s fears returned. What would Darcy do? He would be livid to see her in the church. She could only hope that his famous pride would keep him from exposing her disobedience and embarrassing both of them by upbraiding his wife in front of the whole town.
She used the ride to compose herself and contain her emotions. Along with the fear was a feeling of elation. Certain things needed to be said, and certain things needed to be done. She wasn’t taking this ride only for herself, but for her future child. If the baby… and she dearly hoped there was a baby coming… was a girl, she would benefit from having a mother who felt strong enough to stand up to her father when he was wrong. If the baby was a boy, he would need to know that his father was not an unreasonable tyrant who got to order everyone about simply because he had a lot of money… and a temper.
And Elizabeth dearly hoped that her husband was not an unreasonable tyrant.
When the carriage arrived at the church, there was a great crowd of people out front still making their way inside. The driver handed Elizabeth down and she waited until the entrance was clear. People were still finding seats on the benches, but of course the Darcy family commanded the front pew. Up in front, she could see her husband sitting beside Georgiana and Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner.
Elizabeth swallowed. She had to sit with them. It was part of her plan… to take her rightful place beside Mr. Darcy. Because tongues would wag, surely, if she sat apart from her husband. But looking up the aisle from her current position, she felt as though it was a mile long.
As she walked down the center of the church to the front, heads turned, and many in attendance nodded and whispered about her. This was no surprise. The new Mrs. Darcy had no doubt been a subject of gossip since she had arrived. Most of those in the town had not yet seen her.
This was her coming out, of sorts, to those who lived around Pemberley. She would have wished that her first appearance was not made in quite so dramatic a fashion.
When Elizabeth reached the first pew, she saw her Aunt Gardiner turn in surprise. Immediately her expression became one of great joy, as she waved Elizabeth over and made space so that her niece could sit beside her.
When Darcy turned to look, his expression was one of stunned astonishment. But she did not see anger. His face appeared to reveal a reluctant admiration, and even a bit of amusement. His eyebrows were raised, but not in dismay. He and her Uncle Gardiner stood up as Elizabeth made her way over to sit beside her aunt.
“How wonderful, Lizzy. We were so disappointed to hear that you were unwell, and wouldn’t be able to join us at church on Christmas.” Mrs. Gardiner smiled as she leaned over to speak to Elizabeth. “You have made a rather remarkable recovery, I see.”
There was something in her smile, too, which revealed more than her words. It struck Elizabeth once again what an insightful person her aunt was.
On her other side, Georgiana reached for Elizabeth’s hand. “I am so happy to see you, Lizzy! Christmas would not have been the same without you.”
Just as the celebrants appeared amidst the seasonal display that decorated the front of the church, Elizabeth stole a glance to her left and saw Mr. Darcy looking at her keenly. She promptly averted her eyes and relaxed against the back of the church pew. Now she had the rest of the service to anticipate… or dread… what he was going to say to her afterward.
Throughout the hour of worship, the beauty of the music and the message of the season served to give her some respite. After all, it was Christmas. A time of love and joy and peace for all. How angry could he be?
She did not have to wait long to find out. The family made their way down the aisle unimpeded, honored, as the Darcys always were, as the first family of the town. They were greeted with nods and wishes of happy Christmas from all in attendance. Mr. Darcy quickly positioned himself beside Elizabeth, taking her arm and smiling as they walked to the back of the church together. She found herself happy to be surrounded by the crowd, and not yet in danger of hearing his disapproval.
The minister greeted them at the door of the church, expressing his effusive welcome and good wishes for the season. Many an eye was on the new Mrs. Darcy and her handsome husband, formerly the most sought-after bachelor in the county.
As the Darcy family stood outside in the crisp December air for a few minutes while they waited for the coach and carriage to be brought to collect them, Elizabeth managed to get close to her Aunt Gardiner. Leaning in to speak to her, she whispered, “I would love to have an opportunity for a private conversation with you. Perhaps we could take the small carriage together back to Pemberley. Do you think you could mention to my husband that we have some women’s matters to discuss? That way he will be sure to support the plan and let us travel separately.”
“Of course,” her aunt said, looking only mildly surprised.
Elizabeth watched as Mrs. Gardiner approached Mr. Darcy and conveyed what she had in mind. Elizabeth saw her husband nod his acquiescence, while at the same time looking over at her. She turned her head to avoid the chance of looking as though she was gloating when she smiled.
The coach came around first, and Darcy and Mr. Gardiner turned to Georgiana to allow her to enter. To Elizabeth’s surprise, Georgiana shook her head when invited to step in.
“I’m going to ride with the ladies,” Georgiana said gaily. “We will have a carriage filled with the gentler sex, so that we may speak freely about those womanly matters which would bore the gentleman.”
Darcy and Mr. Gardiner seemed surprised but unconcerned about this plan, and so they stepped into the coach. The driver closed the door after them and the men were promptly on their way.
Right behind was the smaller carriage. No sooner were the women settled in and the driver up on the box then Mrs. Gardiner spoke up.
“So what really happened, Lizzy? He didn’t want you to go to church today, did he?”
Elizabeth shook her head in admiration. She looked at her aunt. “How could you know?”
Her aunt smiled. “Oh, I know the kind of man your husband is. Powerful, and very used to getting his own way. You see it yourself, as much as you love him. And there is plenty of goodness in there to love.”
“You mean, he ordered you not to come to church, and you came anyway?” Georgiana asked. Her face was all amazement. “Bravo, Lizzy! Good for you. My brother needs to be brought down a peg or two. And you are just the woman to do it.” She patted Elizabeth on the arm. “I would have been absolutely terrified.”
“I was terrified,” Lizzy said, relaxing for the first time in hours. “I was fairly confident that he wouldn’t berate me in the middle of church on Christmas day… nevertheless, I could not be at all certain that making an appearance here would not lead to dire consequences.”
“Then how did you dare do it?” Georgiana asked.
Elizabeth was silent for a moment. “I had to. It was not simply a matter of going to church today. Your brother is insisting… he has stated that I must stay in bed for months… from now until the baby is born! I think he has gone mad.” Elizabeth shook her head as Georgiana and her aunt looked at her in surprise.
“If I agreed to his plan that I stay in my room for the next seven or eight months, I would have been miserable
. I would not have been true to myself or to the woman I mean to be. Nor am I convinced that it would be beneficial for my future child.”
She put a hand to her forehead and let out a sound that was somewhere between and laugh and a sob. “But truly, if I were to allow Fitzwilliam… as much as I love him… to confine me to my bedroom for much of the year, I am afraid that I would begin to hate him as my jailer. And that is a price I am unwilling to pay, even to assuage his pride.”
At that, both Georgiana and Mrs. Gardiner reached out. Each of them took one of Elizabeth’s hands in hers. The tenderness of their kind response caused something in Elizabeth to release. Quietly, she began to cry, hot tears coursing down her cheeks.
She realized how afraid she had been. How stunned and horrified by her beloved husband’s intentions for her. It was a relief to know that she had family members who understood. Perhaps she had allies who would help her make Mr. Darcy understand the unreasonableness of his position.
“You are quite right to do it, Lizzy,” Georgiana said. “I can hardly believe this of my brother. I know that he loves you. Very much. And certainly he would want to protect his future child.” Her brow wrinkled and her sweet face formed an expression of confusion. “But if he knows you at all… and I would hope that he does by now… how could he imagine that you could bear being cooped up in your room for so many months?”
Elizabeth shook her head, her eyes cast downward, and fumbled for a handkerchief.
“I do not know your husband nearly so well as his sister, of course,” Mrs. Gardiner said. “But I have to confess that I am not completely surprised. It is the instinct of men to do whatever they can to protect their offspring. I have no doubt that he believes that he would be doing this to take the best possible care of both you and the baby. For someone as powerful as Mr. Darcy, who is used to having his word be the law in all matters concerning his own property, of course he would take the most conservative and most active view of the matter. Protecting the baby at all costs must be his priority.”
