by L. Divine
“Yesterday you weren’t sure who the father was. What changed?” Nellie asks, rising from the small bench they’re sharing to join me at my post up against the shade tree. I’ve been sitting all morning and need to stretch my legs. Even without Nigel as my escort, Mr. Donald didn’t trip on me for being late because he was too busy grilling another student about her attitude. I still need to holla at Nigel before the day is over. I’m getting some information out of him about Rah if it’s the last thing I do.
“What changed is my priorities,” Mickey says, giving us both an evil glare. She already knows how I feel about it and she knew that Nellie would definitely have a problem with her trickery too. “You were right. My man’s not going to be the best father and as the mother I get to decide what’s best for my baby and that’s Nigel as the daddy.” We stop talking, allowing a few students coming out of the library to pass by.
When they’re out of earshot, I say, “Like it’s really that simple.” My girl’s living in la-la land if she thinks everything’s up to her. “Fathers do have rights, you know,” I say, though by the look in Mickey’s eyes, I know she’s not hearing me.
“Jayd, ain’t nobody worried about the father’s rights. The daddy is who I say it is and neither one of them can prove any different.” Devouring her cone, Mickey sits unaffected by her fictional world. I know she can’t believe that either her man or Nigel’s going to give her any child support without knowing if the baby is theirs beyond a shadow of a doubt. They both must have more sense than that.
“So you’ve never heard of a paternity test?” I remind her, snapping Mickey out of her personal reality and back into ours. “You know they require those before they grant child support.”
“Yes, but there will be no need for all of that,” Mickey says, opening her bottle of Mountain Dew and downing three big gulps. “Nigel’s so sprung on me he’s ready to break up with Trish for good and make us permanent. We’re going to be a family.”
“Mickey, do you honestly think I’m going to stand by and watch your foul-ass instant family pop up while you punk one of my best friends?” Who does she think she is, the knocked up version of Cinderella?
“He’s your friend, but he’s my man,” Mickey says, giving me a sly smile I’ve never seen before while taking out the silver MAC case from her purse. “Who do you think he’ll believe?” Mickey says, licking her lips in the compact mirror. Now I see she’s really tripping. “Me or you?”
“You can’t do this to him,” Nellie says. She’s so upset she’s spitting water as she talks. “If you don’t tell Nigel, I will,” she adds, stepping up to Mickey like she’s ready to go to blows with her. Damn, all I need is my girls at each other’s throats again. We barely made it through our last fight unscathed, I don’t know if we can survive another one so soon.
“Whatever, Nellie,” Mickey says, rolling her eyes at our girl while she puts her makeup back in her purse and takes a sip of her drink. “Like he’ll believe a word your little sell-out ass has to say.” Nellie takes another step forward and Mickey looks at Nellie, daring her to take the first blow.
“Mickey, you’re not thinking clearly,” I say, stepping in between them to diffuse the situation before it gets too ugly. “You were all over Trecee for lying about KJ being the father of her baby. Why would you turn around and pull the same shit?”
“Because this is completely different and I’m not lying. There was no chance that KJ could have been the father of her spawn,” Mickey says, rising from her seat and dusting the crumbled peanuts from her ice cream off her miniskirt. “As far as I’m concerned, Nigel is the daddy,” Mickey says, rubbing her flat belly. I can’t imagine that nine months from now Mickey’s going to be somebody’s mama, especially not my homeboy’s baby. “Don’t ask me how I know but I can feel it and I’m not going to be a fool and let him slip away from me.” Nellie backs away from Mickey, realizing now that our girl has completely lost it. “And why aren’t y’all getting on Nigel? His behavior was just as foul as mine.”
“Yes, but he’s not being deceitful to cover it up,” Nellie says. Having had enough of Mickey’s ghetto logic, Nellie begins to walk away from the library toward the main quad where we can see everyone hanging out and enjoying the cool, sunny day, including our boys. By the time she makes it all the way over to where they’re standing, break will be over. Watching Nellie approach them, the boys look up and notice our hiding spot. Mickey nods at Nigel who begins to head our way. Good, he’ll save me the walk. I want to get my inquisition about Rah out of the way early.
“I’ll see you after school Jayd,” Nellie says over her shoulder, nearly jogging to where Chance is waiting with Jeremy. I hope she doesn’t open her mouth, at least not yet. Truthfully I would prefer it if Nellie did let it slip rather than me having to tell them. The best thing is for Mickey to be honest about the entire situation, but I’m not going to hold my breath waiting for that to happen.
“Don’t hate the player Nellie. Hate the game,” Mickey shouts after her as she gulps down the remainder of her soda. Nellie looks over her shoulder to throw Mickey one last evil glare before meeting up with her man and my ex.
“Why are you being so nasty with her? She’s just trying to help you,” I say, tossing my trash into the wastebasket by the front door. I wish I could toss her ass in there for the way she’s acting but I can’t. She was there for me when I needed her and she even came through for Nellie after the madness that girl put us through. Now it’s our turn to help her see straight.
“When has Nellie ever tried to help anyone of her own good will?” Mickey waits a second for me to answer but I’ve got nothing. “Never, and this time is no exception,” Mickey says, picking up her book bag from the ground next to her feet and putting her arms through the straps. “She wants another chance at Nigel and this is her perfect opportunity to make herself look good and me like a slut.”
“Mickey you don’t really think that, do you?” I say, amazed at how quickly she is ready to misjudge her best friend. Her and Nellie are tight and keep each other in check. But right now Mickey’s the one who’s out of line. “Nellie has done more for you than she has against you. You shouldn’t be so quick to turn on her.”
“Have you forgotten about what we just went through with that girl? She turned on us at the first opportunity to hang out with the rich girls. That’s who she is—a wannabe—and I’m not letting her at my man.” Damn, this is getting too serious too soon. And speaking of moving too fast, here comes the reason we’re in this mess to begin with. I told Nigel and Mickey I didn’t like the idea of them dating, but nobody ever listens to me until it’s too late.
“By the way, your other man, also known as your maybe baby-daddy, is on his way over here.” Chance and Jeremy both nod a “what’s up” at me as I watch Nigel approach.
“It’s not a maybe anymore, Jayd. I really am pregnant,” she says, sounding more like she’s trying to convince herself than me.
“I know that, we’ve got the proof. But the father’s identity is still up for grabs, no matter what you say.” Mickey glares at me hard as Nigel moves in. His face is more sullen than usual. I know he must be tripping over Mickey’s revelation and worried about his girlfriend’s reaction to the news too. I’d hate to be in either of their shoes right now.
“Well, tell him I’ll be right back. I’ve got to pee,” she says, racing through the library door to use the restroom. It’s going to be interesting to watch her growing belly develop. I hope her moral compass grows a little too.
“Hey, Jayd. What’s going on over here?” he says, giving me a hug and looking over my shoulder. “And where did Mickey run off to?” Nigel looks toward the library, knowing she wasn’t in a rush to check out any books. That’s not our girl’s style.
“Oh, just girl talk. Mickey had to use the bathroom. What’s up with you and your boys this morning?” It’s ironic that he, Chance, and Jeremy have become homies, but not surprising. They are the most popular dudes up here,
each with their own unique flow, which makes them equally desirable. Chance is the silly but cute white hip-hop rich kid, but not as wealthy as his half-Jewish surfer counterpart, Jeremy. And well, Nigel’s the black quarterback hustler from the hood, making him the most wanted of the trio. They make an irresistible crew. No wonder KJ and his boys feel so threatened by them.
“Well, I guess you know about the baby,” he says, instantly looking like an embarrassed little boy who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar, this time literally. What is it about getting girls knocked up that brings out the innocence in these dudes?
“Yeah, I do. You and KJ have something else in common besides being good athletes,” I say, not wanting to rat my girl out but making sure Nigel doesn’t get played in the process. I’ve known him longer and my loyalty is slightly torn between the two of them. Like Nellie said, if Mickey doesn’t come clean to Nigel, I will tell him myself, but not yet. I’ll give her the chance to be honest about the situation before it completely blows up in her face.
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” he says. I forget he came in a few weeks after school had already started, missing the first week of drama I went through with KJ and his crazy almost baby mama, Trecee.
“Girls all over the world would line up at the chance to have your baby. It must make you feel good to be so wanted. Just be careful not to get caught up while you’re out here creeping,” I say, shifting my weight from one foot to the other, as if the slightest difference would give me some sort of height advantage to look him in the eye. Like most people I meet, Nigel’s much taller than I am and looking up at him for too long makes my neck hurt.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he says, folding his arms across his chest and cocking his head to the side with a very serious frown on his face. Despite his irritation, he looks cute in his orange FUBU sweat suit. I love how his chocolate brown skin looks in bright colors and the way he dresses. I also like the same things about Rah.
“Just what I said. You know I’ve got your back no matter what,” I say. Now he looks hella confused. “But that’s not what I want to talk about,” I say, quickly changing the subject before Mickey returns. “What’s up with your boy and don’t act like you don’t know who I’m talking about.” I know he doesn’t want to let go of what I just said to him but he knows better than to avoid my questioning, especially if it’s about Rah. Looking defeated by my stare, Nigel relaxes his stance and begins to share.
“All I know is that Sandy and Trish got into it at Westingle on Monday. It was pretty bad,” he says, shaking his head from side to side.
“Sandy,” I say, surprised to hear her name. She was my Misty before I got to South Bay High. When she first came to Family Christian, I befriended her crazy ass only to find out she slept with Rah—who was my boyfriend at the time—in the boy’s locker room and had his baby nine months later. After she gave birth to their daughter, she tried to use the baby to manipulate Rah but it didn’t work. She ended up moving suddenly to keep Rah from his daughter. Just the thought of her makes my blood boil but it doesn’t change the way I feel about Rah right now. “When did she get back in town and what does that have to do with him not calling me all week?”
“I’m not sure when Sandy got in town and neither is Rah. He was just as surprised as we all were to find out she was back,” Nigel says, glancing toward the library door, anxiously awaiting Mickey’s return. He seems nervous about seeing her and he should be. Like Sandy, Mickey can be vicious when someone gets in the way of what she wants. But at least she’s not crazy. “All I know is that Trish got messed up pretty bad and had to go the hospital. Why he’s not calling you I don’t know anything about.” So Rah is getting my messages and he’s all right. I admit I’m relieved to know it’s not about us, but in a way it is and until I get the full story from him, he’s on my shit list.
“Please let Rah know that he’s in hot water with me and the sooner he calls, the better it’ll be for him.” I look at Mickey push through the door and she doesn’t look so good. Her hair looks a little tangled like she just stepped through a whirlwind or something. Maybe she got sick and had to throw up again. Comes with the territory for her. I guess being pregnant isn’t as cute as she thought it was going to be.
“Yes sir, Jayd sir,” he says, saluting me like I’m his general before Mickey tucks herself under his arm, staking her claim. I hope that possessive display isn’t for me because she’s got another thing coming if she thinks a broad can come between Nigel and me. We’ve already been down that road before and I’m the one still standing. I need to get out of here before I’m late for government class. Jeremy’s already left his post by Nellie and Chance, who are making the most of their time together. I hope she doesn’t risk Chance’s heart to get a shot at Nigel, as Mickey thinks. I don’t want any of my friends to get hurt in the mess.
“At ease, private,” I say, slapping his hand away from his forehead. “Just make sure Rah gets the message.” I choose to ignore Mickey’s attitude and walk to class. It’s funny how dudes act when they want to be with you, but have a strange way of keeping their distance when things start to get too serious. Until I hear from Rah, I’m pushing him way down on my priority list. I have to get through the rest of this school day. I’ll worry about our relationship after the final bell of the day rings.
5
From The Sidelines
“I was your baby, baby, baby, baby/ When you needed hugging.”
—ANGIE STONE
For the rest of the school day I felt like I was in a time warp. Sandy being back in Rah’s life isn’t good for anyone, especially me. There’s nothing I can do to help Rah if he doesn’t tell me what’s going on first. Plus I need to talk to him about Mickey’s baby. And I can’t help Nigel without ratting my girl out. It feels like my hands are tied and my friends are the ones holding the rope.
As I walk down our block I can’t help but remember Esmeralda and Mr. Gatlin’s strange exchange this morning. I wonder what kind of noose she’s got around his neck. They say that there’s someone for everyone but I don’t think that’s true. If it were, me and half of the people I know wouldn’t be in the messes we find ourselves in on a regular basis. Getting closer to Mama’s house, I notice two Compton police cars parked on the street and in the driveway. This can’t be good. They never stop by to say “what’s up” in our hood. The neighbors are all outside watching the drama unfold. I hope Mama didn’t go off on another one of Daddy’s women.
“Jayd, your grandmother said for you to go straight to the backhouse when you get home,” my neighbor Brandy says from her seat on the porch. I was half expecting to see my Uncle Jay sitting next to her, smacking on the barbeque ribs and coleslaw she’s having for dinner. I’m assuming we’ll be eating takeout at our house tonight too.
“Thanks, Brandy.” As I get a little closer to home I see Rah’s red Acura parked across the street. I guess he got my mes sage from Nigel. Rah’s used to the constant arguing at my house so whatever’s going on won’t be new to him. It’s still embarrassing that my family has to have the cops come and solve our family battles sometimes, but at least we’re not alone. Almost every household on this block has the same issue.
Walking up the driveway I can see inside the dining room window where the officers are taking a report from my Uncle Junior. It looks like this battle was between my uncles this time and not my grandparents. Mama and Daddy are probably the ones who called the police. Ever since my uncles started to use weapons on each other, my grandfather has stayed out of their fights, and Mama was never in them to begin with. If she could, she’d make a potion to vanquish them all from her house, Daddy included. But it’s not in her heart to do that—at least not yet.
“What’s going on in here?” I say as I open the garage door to see Bryan, Jay, and Rah sitting in a circle eating Subway, one of my favorite meals. If Rah thinks he can butter me up with food, he’s only partially right. It’s going to take a whole lot more to get back on my good side
than a value meal. It is a good start though, because a sistah is hungry. I didn’t want to spend the money I made braiding Bryan’s hair on food and the lunch we have during rehearsal isn’t all that. The booster club moms who provide lunch are into the healthiest, nastiest food available and I can only take so much of it.
“Eating, that’s what. And staying out of the line of fire,” Jay says, smacking on his chips while talking to me. “Let’s see what else is on,” he says, reaching over the small card table to the black-and-white television propped up against the wall.
“How was school?” Bryan asks, trying to bridge the gap between Rah and me. He knows we haven’t spoken all week and I’m hot about it. If Bryan and Jay weren’t here, I would have ripped into him from the door. But per Mama’s suggestion, I’m trying to keep a cooler head these days.
“School was school,” I say, sitting down in the empty seat across from Rah, who’s in a daze and waiting for me to make the first move, his usual mode of operation when he knows he’s wrong. “What’s going on in the house?”
“Your other dumb-ass uncles got into it over the iron,” Bryan says, totally unaffected by his older brothers’ behavior. We’re all used to their shit.
“There’s blood all over the carpet,” Jay says, leaning back into his seat before picking up the deck of cards in front of him and dealing them counterclockwise. Daddy taught us how to play Spades, Bidwiz, and Blackjack when we were younger. Now we’re both pretty good at the card games.
“It’s only a few drops. You exaggerate the truth worse than a chick sometimes,” Bryan says, taking his cards and putting them in order. By the way he’s organizing his hand, we must be playing Spades. I pick up an unopened bottle of water from the table and begin to drink while making myself comfortable. If Rah doesn’t pass me my food soon I’m going to snatch it away from him without saying a word.
