by L. Divine
“Go back to your side of the tracks. This is my hood and I can’t be threatened over here,” I say to Mickey’s man. He’s really got his nerve stepping in my yard. If Mama were here he’d be in some serious pain by now.
“You don’t even know my name, do you, little witch girl?” he says. I see he’s heard about my new nickname. “That’s because it’s so powerful I’d have to cut your tongue if you spoke it aloud.” This brotha is too full of himself. I’ve read about certain Orisha and Ancestors whose names are sacred in that way, but I doubt that his is one of them.
“Go home before you find out how I got my nickname,” I say. Like Misty, he needs more than the normal threat to make him disappear.
“Think about what I said. I’ll be back for my reading. You might even like doing it with me.” What the hell? Now how am I supposed to treat that fool like air? I wish I were like a breeze that would just blow away from this dramatic state of affairs I’ve found myself in. It doesn’t matter if I’m at school, my mom’s house, or here at home: drama seems to follow me no matter where I end up.
11
Great Expectations
“But my mother always said you can forgive and forget/ And expect that most promises won’t be kept.”
—JURASSIC 5
Mama didn’t get home until late last night and went straight to bed. I didn’t tell her about my surprise visit from Mickey’s man yesterday and don’t plan to. She has enough to worry about. Working at the shelter makes Mama feel like she has another purpose outside of the house and her work as a priestess. Sometimes I suspect Mama just wants to blend in like everyone else and I know just how she feels.
No matter what school I go to or what job I have, I’m always separate from the crowd and not by anything of my own doing. Well, at least not consciously. When I was at Caldwell Elementary up the street I was bullied until I spit on one of the girl’s feet and chanted a verse like I’d seen Mama do to Esmeralda one day when she didn’t know I was looking. Needless to say my last year there was the most powerful of all but still filled with drama. Then at Family Christian I couldn’t get down with their philosophies even though I mastered their teachings and learned about my own ancestors’ powerful spiritual lineage from Mama at the same time.
Now here I am all the way in South Bay and I can’t escape dealing with the madness that’s ever present at this school too. Nellie told me a few minutes ago at break that she’s going to tell Nigel about Mickey’s baby-daddy doubts the first chance she gets. And Misty has decided to let everyone know just the kind of witch I really am, causing her bad luck and all. It’s only third period and I’m ready to get my long weekend started. Jeremy isn’t at school today and neither is half the student population. I guess Thanksgiving starts early for people truly giving thanks for the day. For me, it’s just another long-ass day of school.
“Hello, Jayd. How are you doing today?” Mr. Adewale asks. Seeing him as Mrs. Peterson’s substitute is all I needed to make this day turn around for the better. Thank God for small pleasures in life.
“Good morning, Mr. A. Oh, I mean Mr. Adewale.” He smiles at my pretend slip-up and doesn’t seem offended at all. Maybe he’ll let me call him Mr. A after all. “So when will you have your own class?” I sit down in the seat closest to the teacher’s desk. Only five of the twenty students are present so far and with the bell ringing as we speak I doubt there will be more coming. I’m sure he won’t make us sit in our assigned seats, today being the last day before the holiday.
“Hopefully sooner rather than later,” he says, tapping his pen on the roll book and eyeing the sparse classroom. “A brotha’s gotta eat.”
“I feel that, except I’m coming from a sistah’s point of view.” I blush as he smiles at my attempt to have small talk with a teacher. I know Ms. Toni would be pissed if she could see me now. But she’s been so busy lately I haven’t had a chance to catch up with her and I’m only having fun. I know better than to take him seriously and I can feel the same recognition from him.
“I’m sure,” he says, passing around the roll sheet for everyone to mark a “P” by his or her name. “It’s pretty much a free day as long as you keep it low. Mrs. Peterson has left your assignment on the board, which is to work independently on your papers due in a couple of weeks. I’m up here if you have any questions.” The other four students nod their heads in acknowledgment and prepare to doze off for the rest of the period, leaving Mr. A and me alone to get better acquainted.
“So what do you think of my paper topic?” I say, pulling my government notebook out of my backpack and placing it on the desk in front of him. He opens it and takes out the assignment I’m working on. “The rough draft is due Monday. I’m sure she’s going to rip it apart. Maybe you could point me in the right direction for more resources.”
“Queen Califia. I remember battling about her in college with my professors. ‘Fact or Fiction’ was the title of my research paper.” He thumbs through the three-page document and I’m grateful for the consideration. I could watch him read all day.
“What was your final grade?” The other students have all but fallen asleep in the quiet room. I doubt any of them had a choice in coming to school today. Otherwise why would any of us be here?
“An A,” he says as if it was the norm. He does look hella smart, if there’s such a look. I’ve been fooled many times by dudes posing to be intelligent with the mindset of an idiot. KJ is the latest example.
“You say it like you always got As,” I tease. But he looks at me as serious as a heart attack.
“I did.” Well damn, I guess he’s not playing around when it comes to his GPA. “I’m sure you know how hard it is attending a school like this one. Imagine a university. A brotha like me doesn’t have a fighting chance in that type of environment so I always have to be on my A game—literally.”
“Now that’s admirable. Can I have your paper?” I tease again. He laughs, showing off his perfectly straight teeth. His long dreadlocks are pulled back in a ponytail, showcasing his strongly defined jawbones. Damn this man is beautiful.
“No, but you can look it up online. The bibliography’s also listed. Knock yourself out.” He pulls his wallet out of his back slacks pocket and opens it up, handing me a card with his personal email on it. I wonder if he has any pictures of his family in there. There’s no ring on his left hand but that doesn’t mean there’s no wifey and baby at home.
“Are you still a student at UCLA?” I ask, noticing the graduate school email address. He must be hella smart to be a grad student there.
“Yeah, I’m graduating with my Masters this spring. But I’m applying for my doctorate at the University of West Los Angeles in the fall.” Wow, I’ve never met a black man like this before. I didn’t even know they existed.
“How are you going to teach full-time and attend grad school?” I know I’m getting all up in his business but I need to know how much time I have left with my man.
“When you set your mind to it, you can do anything you want, isn’t that right, Queen Jayd?” I don’t like the way he said that. Mr. Adewale smiles at me and winks like we share a secret I know nothing about. He acts like he knows more about me than I’ve told him. Maybe he’s heard the things Misty said about me going around school. Maybe Mrs. Bennett has been telling him her version of the story. Whatever the reason is, I don’t like his tone.
“What did you mean saying my name like that?” He stops smiling and looks at me very intently as if he’s trying to read my thoughts, but only Mama and my mom have mastered that trick on me. I don’t know if he’s embarrassed or thinks he’s embarrassed me, but either way the joking is over.
“I mean that your name is Jayd and you’re a queen in training like all of the young sistahs I meet. Sorry if I offended you.” I believe he’s sorry, but not for saying my name like that. “Now, back to your paper. If you need help you can email me. And don’t wait until the last minute to do your research. Take your time doing it and writing, and
no matter how much the teacher despises you, he or she will have no choice but to give you an A.” I should’ve talked to him before I rewrote my English paper. That paper was a rush job for real.
“Thanks for the advice. I’ll let you know what I find out.” And I will do just that. I’m going to look into more than just the papers Mr. Adewale’s written. He’s not fooling me one bit. He’s got an agenda and I want to know what it is and if by chance it has anything to do with me or my legacy. I don’t feel any negative energy coming from him, but he’s not telling me his whole story and I want full disclosure.
After flirting with Mr. Adewale for the rest of the period I made it through my other classes and AP meeting without too much happening. The only unfortunate encounter was Mrs. Bennett, as usual. But she’s always unpleasant, holidays and all.
“Jayd, have you seen Nigel today?” Nellie looks more frantic than usual as she approaches my locker. I’ve managed to dodge all of my friends today until now. This can’t be a good sign, especially with her asking for Nigel. She’s probably been looking for him all day and hasn’t run into him yet. Little does she know he and Mickey ditched school to go shopping for baby shoes. “I want to tell him about Mickey’s man possibly being the daddy before I leave today and I don’t want to hear any protest.”
“Nellie, have you lost your damn mind?” I say, not granting Nellie’s wish. I look around the empty hall and shut my locker door, ready to walk to the bus stop. “Mickey’s man knows something’s up and we don’t need to be in this mess. That fool came by my house asking about Mickey’s other man and to flirt with me some more. Just leave it alone, Nellie. It’s not our business.” I walk toward the office doors with Nellie hot on my trail. I wonder if Chance is here to give her a ride home since the bus isn’t an option for her.
“Are you joking, Jayd? I thought Nigel’s supposed to be one of your best friends. If he is then how can you honestly stand there and say you agree with Mickey’s behavior.” I stop and turn around to face my girl. Deep down I know Nellie thinks she’s doing the right thing, even if it is coming from the hater in her.
“No, I don’t agree with her actions but Nigel’s a big boy and can take care of himself. Besides, Nellie, think about the consequences. Everyone will think you’re a hater and no one will trust you again. Is that what you want, to end up like Misty?” I say, pointing to my nemesis as she enters the other end of the vast hall. The final bell rang a few minutes ago and everyone’s off to indulge in turkey and pie for the next five days. In a way I wish I could say the same thing. But I’m also happy to take long baths and catch up on some much needed sleep at my mom’s apartment.
“You’re being overdramatic. I’m going to find Nigel.” Before I can tell Nellie that Nigel’s not here she races down the hall, leaving me and Misty alone. Before she can say something smart, Laura, Reid, and the rest of the posse enter the hall from the side entrance. Reid claps when he notices Misty walking past them. And Laura must be feeling especially self-righteous this morning because she seems to have something to say to Misty.
“You should really be more careful. You never know what’s out there, do you?” Laura says, giving her entourage a good chuckle. After Tania left, Laura became the head heffa in charge. Misty begins to cry as she makes her way down the remainder of the hallway. I can’t let her go out like that.
“Laura, don’t you have a Bitches-R-Us conference to plan or something?” I say, walking up to Misty, who looks like she could use a friend. I can’t be all that to her, but I can take some of the heat off her for now. I’ve decided to take Mama’s advice and spend my time working for myself and my friend’s benefit. And even if we’re not friends, I don’t have to allow her to get kicked when she’s down. But instead of being grateful, Misty takes a step toward the enemy and away from me. When will I learn not to feel sorry for this girl?
“Now, now, Jayd. You’ve really got to get that temper of yours checked.” Mrs. Bennett comes in from the side entrance. How long has she been out there? “You wouldn’t want to have another outburst like this on your record. We might have to investigate other accusations, even ones made by students.” Mrs. Bennett’s up to something and I want to know what it is so I can be prepared. She’s been riding me harder than usual lately and I know it’s about more than the break-up with Jeremy. “Have a nice holiday.” She exits the hall through the front door with Laura, Reid, and the rest of their crew not far behind her. Misty walks away as if I didn’t just save her ass from being tortured. Between that and Nellie, I’m whipped. I wish I had time to take a nap before Rah comes for me later but I don’t and I want to get to my mom’s as quickly as possible.
“Jayd, I don’t know why you keep defending her stupid ass. She deserves whatever she’s got coming to her,” Maggie says as sassy as ever, coming out of the girl’s bathroom. She can’t weigh over one hundred pounds and stands exactly my height in the various high heels she wears on a daily basis. “Especially after she offended El Santos. That’s a serious no-no, chica.”
“The Santos, que es?” I only understand a minimal amount of Spanish, thanks to Mr. Donald, the worst Spanish teacher ever. But Maggie always helps me with my slang.
“Si mami. El Santos or the Saints. I think you call them Orishas, no?” How does she know about our religion? I never heard anyone here talk about it before, or anywhere else for that matter.
“Si, the Orishas. How did you know that’s what I believe in?”
Maggie smiles at me and looks from side to side like she’s about to reveal a top secret to me. “When we heard about Misty calling you out for the little bag you put by her door, we knew. Chica, mi abuelita y mi mami believe in the Santos. We’re Catholic on the outside and Santeria on the inside,” she says, showing me the gold cross and picture of the Virgin Mary hanging from her blinging gold chain. “No wonder we’ve always clicked, si?”
“Fo’ sho’ sis,” I say, returning Maggie’s embrace before she leaves the empty hall.
“Have a good weekend, Jayd. And stay as far away from Misty as you can. Her bad luck is really contagious, mami, or so I’ve heard.” Maggie winks at me, leaving me to think about all that’s just happened.
It’s interesting that of all the people I may be most like, it’s a girl no one would ever expect me to hang out with. That may have to change, and soon, if my girls keep going at each other like they have been lately. Maggie’s right about me staying away from Misty. My days trying to help that girl are officially over. From now on, she is nothing but air to me.
“See you in three hours,” Rah says through his text. I guess I should get to the bus stop to start my long journey home. By the time I make it to Compton, I’ll only have about an hour before Rah will be there to pick me up. I can’t wait to get to the solitude of my mom’s to enjoy my long weekend in peace, with Rah’s company, of course. We haven’t talked about it yet but I know his mom strips every day of the week, holidays included, and his grandparents are Muslim, so they could care less about American holidays. I hope he’s got something really sweet planned for our chill time together.
I’ve been waiting on Rah for almost two hours and am as vexed as I can get. I’m also worried because I’ve been calling and texting with no response. Just when I’m ready to call out the cavalry, I see Rah’s Acura turn the corner. He speeds down the block, pulls in front of the house, and rushes out of the car. Well, at least I know he’s sorry.
“What took you so long?” I say to Rah through the front window as he sprints up the driveway. He said he would pick me up at six and it’s a little before eight now. He’s always on time.
“Sorry, baby. I got caught up,” he says as I close the front door behind me with my bags in hand. I’m packed and ready to get out of here for the weekend. If nothing else, I’m thankful for the extra days at my mom’s house and away from this madness. I waited for Rah in the dining room, to the amusement of my uncles. They teased me saying he wouldn’t show, but I knew Rah wouldn’t let me down this
time.
“Caught up with whom?” I ask, giving him my bags while I follow him down the porch steps. I took the extra time to study my lines at first, and then my spirit notebook. I’m going to dedicate Friday to working on my government paper and researching Mr. Adewale’s background while studying my spirit work, unless Rah has something better planned for us.
“Trish,” he says, putting my bags in the backseat. I open the passenger door and sit down, ready for the entire story.
“And…” I say as Rah takes his seat and starts the car. I don’t like the feeling I’m getting from his chosen silence. After he reaches the corner he speaks and it’s the last thing I want to hear.
“Her brother’s having a big Thanksgiving dinner at M & M’s and I have to be there. I’m sorry, baby,” he says, bursting my bubble. Damn, why does this always happen with us?
“Rah, I can’t believe what I’m hearing,” I say. I want to cry I’m so pissed but I’m not letting him see my tears. I don’t think it would do much good anyway. If Trish’s brother is hosting the dinner it’s probably more business than pleasure and I know Rah doesn’t have much of a choice in the matter. “We can’t spend any of the day together?”
“Well, before that we’re going to meet Sandy at her parents’ house so I can finally see my daughter.” I know seeing his little girl is the most important thing to him right now and that Sandy is using their baby to bait him. And, knowing Trish, she insisted that she go too, if for no other reason but to show Sandy that even a good ass-whipping won’t keep her away from Rah. I see Trish isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
“We? Who the hell is we?” I ask, already knowing the answer to my question.
“Jayd, it’s not what you think. It’s a timing thing, girl, I swear.” As usual I’m last on Rah’s agenda and I have no one to blame for being hurt but myself. I should know better by now than to think I’d be included in Rah’s family plans, even if he did drink my tea. Like Mama said, I have to have faith in what I’m making and so does my client. In this case, I don’t think Rah’s ready to let go of his other women, no matter what he wants me to believe.
