by L. Divine
I stay in the moment of his soft lips for a while, enjoying fantasizing about us being together again. But I’m going to stick to my mom’s advice and not commit to being anyone’s girl right now. Honestly, I don’t think either Jeremy or Rah are ready to be in a serious relationship and neither am I. But I do think I’ve made my final decision about the situation.
“What are you thinking about?” Jeremy says, pulling back to take a breath. The moonlight hits his eyes and compliments his olive complexion. He takes his right hand and caresses my chin. He’s so sweet when it’s just the two of us.
“I was just thinking we shouldn’t have to give up what we have if we’re not ready to.” I know he thinks we’re on the exact same page but I’m not thinking we should get back together completely.
“Cool, then this means you’ll be my girl again?” he flicks the gold “J” bangle he gave me and smiles at me before kissing me again. I don’t want to end our session but I need to set him straight now.
“Jeremy, I like this but we can’t get back together,” I say between kisses. I know he heard me because as close as we are we could share ears. “Jeremy, did you hear me?” I try to back up from him but he’s relentless in his passion.
“Jayd, let’s talk later. You’re letting me kiss you and that’s really all I want to think about right now.” He looks down at me and smiles, looking like he’s going to eat me up. Then he bends down to kiss my neck. He knows I’m speechless at this point. He’s right; we don’t have to talk right now. I just want to enjoy Jeremy in this moment as much as he’s enjoying me.
After Jeremy dropped me off on Thursday night, which was actually more like early Friday morning, I went to sleep and didn’t wake up until late Friday afternoon and decided to chill at home for the rest of the day. Cedric came up and gave me some business, letting me touch up his braids. Rah texted me again but I didn’t respond and don’t plan on it. He knows I’ll see him later on today at the practice game and Jeremy will be there too. I talked to him briefly yesterday and look forward to seeing them both today. This should be fun if nothing else. I just hope my girls are able to be civilized today. I’d hate to see them get into it at the beach. It’s a nice warm day outside and the folks will be out at Venice. I don’t want them making a scene and the cops out there don’t play.
“So how was your Thanksgiving? Was the family happy to meet you?” I ask Mickey as she and I settle into the bleachers while Nigel and Rah warm up. Nellie and Chance aren’t here yet but Rah already reserved their spot on the court. The brothas playing now look like they just got out of the pen and are taking the ball to the basket like it talked about their mamas.
“Girl, they were cool as hell. I guess they weren’t feeling Tasha too much and were happy to see Nigel has another girlfriend now.”
“So I’m assuming you didn’t tell them they were going to be grandparents in a few months,” I say. Nigel and Rah are shooting the ball back and forth, waiting for the brothas to finish their game. Usually when it’s packed like this the brothas play until twenty, no matter if it’s one-on-one or a team playing.
“Of course not. We want them to get to know me and the holidays are perfect for that. We were thinking of dropping the news on New Year’s.” She opens a big bag of Cheetos and starts munching on them. I reach for a handful and she looks at me like I’m a lion reaching for her infant. I quickly grab a few and she protectively tucks the rest of the snacks under her jacket. This girl is nuts.
“Good, everyone will be too hung over to pay y’all crazy asses too much attention.” Mickey smacks me in the arm, making me laugh. I don’t know how she plans on hiding her growing belly. She’s always eaten for two but now there’s clear evidence of her impending motherhood.
“How was your holiday? Did Rah take you out to eat or did y’all stay in?” Mickey’s not going to be happy to hear that I spent my holiday with Jeremy but I’m not going to lie about me being his friend, to her or anyone else that asks.
“Rah ended up spending the day with Trish and her brother.”
“Oh Jayd, that sucks. I’m sorry, girl. You should’ve called me. I would’ve come to get you and you could have chilled with us.”
“That’s sweet, Mickey but I had a good time without Rah. I went over Jeremy’s house and had a ball.” Mickey stops chewing in mid-crunch.
“Have you lost your mind, Jayd? Don’t you remember what he just did to you?” she says resuming her munching. “And Rah’s not going to be too happy about this.”
“Well, he’ll have to get used to it because I’m not going to stop seeing either one of them. And not only that, Chance hurt himself playing around at Jeremy’s on Thursday and Jeremy may have to fill in for him.”
“What,” Mickey says almost choking. “Does Rah know about all of this?”
“No. We didn’t speak much in the car on the way here. I wanted to wait to see what happened today. Maybe Chance isn’t as hurt as he looked and then I can wait to tell him after the game. I don’t want that on his mind while he’s playing against KJ. As far as he knows, I’m still pissed about him ditching me for Trish.”
“Aren’t you? I mean that must be why you would date a fool whose daddy is a racist,” Mickey says.
“I try not to judge my friends by the mistakes of their parents or even the stupid ones they make themselves,” I say, gritting my teeth and Mickey knows exactly who I’m referring to. “None of us are unworthy of a little mercy, are we, Mickey?”
“Whatever, Jayd. I just hope you know how much you’re hurting Rah with this and he doesn’t even know yet.” Mickey’s right. Rah’s going to be hotter than hell when he finds out but he has no one to blame but himself for me getting close to Jeremy again. I just hope he doesn’t let it ruin our friendship. Mickey and I notice Nellie and Jeremy walking up to the court with a limping Chance a few steps behind them. Rah and Nigel follow our eyes and look at each other like they’re doomed.
“What the hell happened to you?” Nigel says to Chance. He nods “what’s up” to Jeremy and Nellie. Mickey and I walk down the bleachers to greet our friends.
“Oh, I thought Jayd would have told you,” Chance says, hugging me and greeting Mickey. “I twisted my knee messing around on Thursday.” Rah’s jaw tightens as he looks from Chance to Jeremy and gets why Jeremy’s here.
“Hell no,” Rah says, gripping the basketball tightly in his hands. “If you can’t play I’ve got someone else in mind.” Nigel looks at Rah and swats the ball out of his hands, catching the rebound. Rah looks at his friend and waits for his response.
“Hey man, this is our game not yours, and Jeremy can ball.” Rah looks at Jeremy and then at me. I can feel him probing me with his eyes to see if something else is going on. I hope he can’t read my feelings because I’m happy to see Jeremy here. I think the three of them make a formidable team against KJ and his boys. But if they allow their personal feelings to get in the way we’re all going to lose and that’s not an option.
“Man, please. I know you’re not serious about letting this punk ball with us. How’s that going to look?” Rah looks Jeremy up and down like he wants to punch him and Jeremy holds his ground, unmoved by Rah’s sheer hatred of him.
“Who’s got next,” yells a sistah in a bikini with a whistle hanging around her neck. It’s a nice day for November but it isn’t that hot. I have on a bikini top underneath my shirt and a sweater around my hips just in case the weather changes, which isn’t unusual for southern California, but I also have on my Nike sweats, not bikini bottoms like this girl. She’s got to be a little chilly, no matter how cute she thinks she is.
“We do,” Nigel says, throwing the ball at Jeremy, who jogs to the scrimmage line and throws the ball back to Nigel. Rah looks at the two of them and doesn’t budge from his spot. Seeing Rah’s untouched by his words, Nigel smiles and throws the ball to his boy. Rah catches the pass and dribbles the ball, taking it to the hoop over Jeremy’s head. The crowd breaks out in laughter as Rah prepares to take
Jeremy to school. If Jeremy plays anything like he did against KJ the first time, Rah’s in for a surprise.
“Damn, Jayd, Jeremy’s about to get played, huh?” Mickey says licking orange powder off her fingers. She’s ignoring Nellie completely and Nellie is apparently returning the favor. As long as they don’t create any more drama I could care less if they talk to each other. It may be better this way for the time being.
“Don’t you remember the game against KJ a couple of weeks ago, Mickey? Jeremy can ball.” Nigel catches the rebound and passes it to Jeremy, who dribbles the ball while focusing on the basket.
“Yeah, for a white boy. You know Rah can wipe the court with his ass.” Mickey blows a kiss to Nigel, who pretends to catch it. The two of them are starting to make me sick so I know they must be getting to Nellie. Jeremy proves my point to Mickey by shooting a perfect three-point shot from where he’s standing, at least three feet back from the actual line.
“I think they’ve both got game,” I say and I mean in more ways than one. And honestly it would be nice to see both of them kick KJ’s ass together.
“Whatever, Jayd. That was a lucky shot. When they start hustling on the court, let’s see if your white boy can hold his own.” She does have a point but I think Jeremy can get down and dirty if he has to. Rah and Nigel play so rough, sometimes lips and eyes get busted. That’s how the brothas who just left the court were playing. They’re on the sidelines now trying to calm down, but one dude is teasing the other for losing and the heat is rising.
“I’ve got an idea. I’m going to sit this one out and if Jeremy beats you he’s on the team. If you win you can bring your boy,” Nigel says. Now this should be very interesting. Rah looks at Nigel and laughs in disbelief. Jeremy looks anything but amused.
“What’s up, man? Are we ballin’ or what?” Jeremy runs up to Nigel, waiting for the ball. Rah shakes his head from side to side and follows suit, ready for the challenge.
“Whatever, man. It’s your funeral,” Rah says as Nigel passes Jeremy the ball and Jeremy passes to Rah. Nigel joins us in the bleachers, ready to see his boys go at it.
“You see this hustle, baby? It was learned in the streets. Them Redondo Beach boys can’t handle real ballin’,” Rah says, shooting the ball over Jeremy’s head and making the first basket. Jeremy catches the rebound and slams the ball into the basket for two points of his own. Rah’s smile slowly fades as he realizes Jeremy really does have skills. Now the real game is on. This is what I’m talking about.
“I hope Jeremy wins so we can kick KJ’s ass tomorrow. He and his boys will be no match for the three of us.”
“Now don’t go getting too cocky,” I say, pushing Nigel on the shoulder causing him and Mickey, who’s sitting in between his legs, to tilt to the left. They both look at me like they want to smack me, but they know better.
“What are you talking about? If your white boy has as much game as you think he does, then KJ, C Money, and Del will be no match against the three of them.” Mickey looks up at her boo and they kiss, causing Nellie to roll her eyes and hold Chance’s hand tighter.
“You’re forgetting that KJ and his boys are from Compton like the rest of us. I know it’s hard to see but he got his game from the streets just like y’all did and can hustle with the best of them.” I hate to sound like a fan but I don’t want Nigel to underestimate KJ for a second. It seems like everything he’s lacking in good character he makes up for on the court, and then some.
“Damn, Jayd, if I didn’t know better I’d say you were KJ’s newest cheerleader. First you choose the white boy over Rah, now KJ over us all. Whose side are you really on?” Mickey says, outing me to the rest of the crew, except for Rah.
“What do you mean? Jayd chose Rah over Jeremy a while back,” Nigel says, not totally up to date.
“Well it seems the tides have changed since she and Jeremy spent the holiday together, ain’t that right, Jayd?”
“But we were there and y’all didn’t seem back together to me,” Chance says, smiling at me. He would love to rub it in my face if Jeremy and I got back together. Nellie looks shocked too but doesn’t respond.
“So that’s why you didn’t say anything about Chance’s knee when you had the opportunity,” Nigel says, putting it all together. I glare at Mickey, who rolls her eyes in return. She knows she didn’t have to call me out like this but I’m not ashamed of anything. Rah and Jeremy are making each other work on the court. Why can’t I use some of that competitive energy to my advantage?
“Nigel, I’m a big girl. Don’t worry about why I do what I do,” I say, shocking everyone.
“I don’t even know who you are anymore,” Nigel says as he puts his arm around my shoulders. “Girl, you are too much sometimes, you know that?” Nigel knows I have a right to be happy and that Rah’s situations aren’t going to go away easily. As my friend he wants me to be happy in the end just like what I want for him. We watch our boys hustling on the court. The entire crowd is into the game: that’s when you know the players are good. The guys who lost the last game are still on the sidelines arguing with the opposing team. Their yelling is getting louder and distracting Rah and Jeremy on the court.
“Gun,” the sistah in the bikini yells. She blows her whistle and the crowd frantically rushes from the bleachers. Both Rah and Jeremy run over to where we are as we make our way through the panicked crowd. Just then five shots are fired and the crowd’s running turns into a stampede. I hate getting caught up in shit like this.
“Jayd,” Rah screams, pulling my arm and rushing me off toward the parking lot with our friends right behind us. Jeremy helps Chance limp to safety with Nellie on his other arm. Mickey and Nigel are already at his car.
“Why niggas always got to be shooting?” Nigel says as we make it to safety. Since the shooting wasn’t random we know we’re not in any real trouble but decide to get out of Dodge anyway. No need tempting fate, as Mama would say.
“Because y’all are always getting into beef over your stupid egos,” I say, looking from Rah to Jeremy and back at Nigel. “So are y’all ballin’ tomorrow or what?” Nigel looks at his boys and waits for one of them to make the first move.
“It was a tie,” Rah says. We all know that but I think Rah thinks he would’ve won had they been able to keep playing. “I think we should see if my boy’s available.”
“What boy, Rah?” I say to him. I hope he’s not talking about Trish’s brother but I think that’s the only other dude Rah balls with.
“What difference does it make? He can ball and that’s all that counts. See y’all at school tomorrow. We should get some rest tonight.” Rah walks away from Nigel’s car and toward his own. “Are you coming?” he says to me. I look at Jeremy, who now realizes that Rah and I are more than simply old friends. He smiles at me and I know he understands what’s up. I need to make it clear to both of them right now.
“So, you can play with Trish’s brother and rub my face in the fact that you’re still dating her but you can’t play with my ex-boyfriend? That’s real mature, Rah.” Rah turns around and looks back at me.
“Do we have to have this discussion right now?” I look at Jeremy and back to Rah. I know he wants me to trust him on this one but I can’t. And I’m tired of him expecting me to go along with the fact that he has two other chicks in his life that he can’t let go of for one reason or another.
“Yes we do because I’m tired of your ego getting in the way. We all want to win, Rah; it’s not just about you.” Rah looks defeated and tired. He turns around and walks to his car. I guess he’s not ready to hear what I have to say yet. I just hope he comes around by tomorrow because I want more than anything for them to come together and serve a serious blow to my other ex’s ego. I don’t care how the job gets done, I just want the satisfaction of winning to be in my favor for once.
14
One On One
“Uno es el numero magico/ En vida y en muerte.”
—JILL SCOTT
After yesterday’s game at the beach, Rah hasn’t talked to me or attempted to call me. I guess he’s still sore about Jeremy playing. I hope he gets over it by the time we get to Westingle. Nigel and Mickey picked me up from my mom’s house to bring me to the game and will take me back to Mama’s after she picks up her car from Nigel’s house later this evening.
“So what did Rah say about the game?” I ask Nigel as he turns onto Manchester Boulevard headed toward the beach. It’s a nice day to play ball. Not too cold or hot.
“He said he’d be there. He didn’t say much else in his text. But Jayd, for real though. I know Rah’s hurt you, but what do you see in Jeremy?”
“Me seeing Jeremy has more to do with me than with Rah. He’s a good guy and he likes me. Why shouldn’t I like him back?” And that I do. Jeremy and I talked on the phone for a little while last night and I assured him I wasn’t backing down from more kisses in the near future. “I can’t explain why I’m attracted to him any more than y’all can explain why you like each other.” He and Mickey look at each other and kiss before the light turns green. It sucks being in the back of the car with two lovebirds. I still haven’t told Mickey about her man’s pop-up at my house because she’s been glued to Nigel the entire holiday, or so it seems.
“Well, that’s easy. We love each other. You and Jeremy aren’t anything like us,” Nigel says. This boy is really sprung. For his sake I hope he is the baby’s daddy because I don’t think he would take losing Mickey to her man very well.
“Jeremy loves me,” I say, shocking them both. I don’t know if he loves me like Nigel loves Mickey, but I do believe he loves me like only he can.
“Yeah, but you don’t love him and I know that for a fact and so does Rah.” Nigel’s right. I wish I could say that I felt the same way about Jeremy as I do about Rah but I’m not in denial about that nor am I looking for that kind of love right now. I have too much on my plate to worry about being in a relationship. I want to focus my energy on becoming the best apprentice I can to Netta and on getting my license. Everything else is secondary at this point.
