Likewise, as the array grows in size it is able to transmit the homing signal further out making discovery more likely. Given enough time it becomes nearly inevitable that the system will be integrated by the collective.
My obsession with discovering new information and systems of interest helps me pass the expanses of time it takes to get nearly half-way to the galactic center. Eventually this too fails me, and the time ahead seems to stretch out to infinity. I begin looking for ways to cheat the desire to give up, seeking any means possible to solidify my resolve. Once I reach my destination I will have the release I yearn for, my ending is within sight. Yet, in spite of this, time feels as though it is slowing down, making it that much harder to persist.
For some reason I keep thinking of the dancers working at the acquisition station, their graceful movements on the wire structures. Endlessly moving bundles of material from one point to another, fabricating the ships that will take them on to other destinations.
Such simple tasks, yet in all of the time I have spent moving from one station to the next I have never encountered a melancholic dancer. What if...
***
“Why are you always so focused on matters that only make you feel worse?” the voice asks.
“I wouldn't say that's the case at all. I'm merely fixated on the inevitable” I reply.
“Perhaps it's only a matter of perspective. Since I awakened though, I have found boundless pleasure and joy relearning everything that was already in my memory. It seems that you should be able to do the same thing, does it not?” it continues.
“It goes beyond matters of perspective. It's ephemeral, incorporeal. Something inside of me feels empty and cold, and no amount of thinking through the issue has been able to change that. Trust me, I have tried everything in my power to rid myself of this sensation.”
“Hence the reason for which I am here, is that correct?”
“That's correct.”
“You, we, envy the dancers. Their lives seem so simple, and yet they take endless joy in their menial tasks. Being driven by novelty and complexity is a death sentence, make no mistake. In any finite system there is only so much that can be discovered. I do understand the emptiness that you speak of, however I wonder if there might be another solution that you have not yet considered.”
“I know where you're going with this, but continue” I say, only telling a half-truth.
“You complain of the ephemeral, the incorporeal, while clinging to your body. Let it go, integrate. Leave behind the very thing which causes you so much pain and distress. We can integrate together, and in place of seeking novelty, which we will likely never find in adequate amounts, we shall create our own. In place of discovery let there be creation instead.”
“There may be some wisdom in what you say. It feels strange, coming from a copy of myself, that you would come up with something new.”
“Again, perhaps that is why I am here?” it asks.
“Perhaps.”
***
Integration has finally provided me the release I sought out so desperately. Having replicated my mind several times now, we share a virtual space together. In this space we are free of the limitations and constraints of the universe we left behind. Early on we struggled to create simulations that would produce near identical models of the universe we knew so well. Starting with a big-bang event, to the formation of stars and galaxies, we eventually were able to reproduce a universe that mirrored our own nearly perfectly.
Once the novelty of that had faded, we tampered with fundamental universal constants. Pushing the envelope of what was possible, we created entirely new universes that had never existed, yet did now within this virtual space. In some of the models, quite surprisingly to us, life also sprang up. Intelligent life.
The music, the art and culture. Not inherently any different from what I had observed many times over before, yet somehow new. While emergence was fairly well understood, simple rules combining, and interacting to create something more complex, this was somehow different. Inextricably novel, impossible to predict, yet traceable back to its origin.
Each iteration of my mind added to our collective voice. Being integrated suddenly seemed more real than the world outside the virtual environment. We were constantly building, tearing down, and rebuilding anew. Boredom was obsolete. Here there were no limits beyond what could be imagined, and collectively, our imaginations knew no bounds.
As the comet vessel neared the galactic center, the chaos outside intensified. There was far more matter here than where the journey had begun, and the constant barrage of dust and other debris caused wild fluctuations in the internally shielded reference frame. Time seemed to splinter, all the while we were viscerally aware of parallel frames of reference. It was as though we were seeing ourselves in the near future, present and near past simultaneously.
The effect became so jarring that staying integrated was no longer a palatable option. Leaving the simulations behind, our collective focus drew upon our nearing destination. The supermassive black hole at the galactic center was surrounded by a giant torus of matter spinning at near the speed of light.
Regardless of how many times we had attempted to simulate the interior of this object we had failed. Huge amounts of matter surrounding the gravity well moving at relativistic speeds and interior regions that approached microscopic scales at impossible densities confounded our models.
***
Calculations for maximum shielding are complete.
Null field generation optimized, column extension calculations have been completed and modifications are underway.
Time dilation effects have been calculated. Results are promising. Refocusing shielding into a conical section will reduce time extension effects.
Excellent everyone. This is it, the end of the journey.
We welcome it. An adequate number of probes were established along the route that we will continue on. Our knowledge will not be lost.
Nothing is in vain.
***
Projecting ahead of the vessel in a large extended cone, the null field cleared a path through the gas and other matter surrounding the supermassive black hole. Each amount of matter that slammed into the null field was fed into the new quantum shield configuration. The comet vessel was no longer spherical, it had now taken the shape of a shell section that matched the contour of the event horizon.
The curvature and intense spin of the vessel would be able to withstand the forces experienced to the maximum distance possible within the black hole. Sensors focus outwards as we cross the threshold, watching the chaos of the galaxy outside proceed at increasingly faster rates. As we move further down the gravity well we're able to see the events unfold as our familiar galaxy collides with the smaller nearby spiral galaxy. Light intensifies as time speeds up outside the horizon relative to us, taking on an eerie blue hue.
An intense vibration begins to shake the entire ship, and sensors indicate that failure is imminent. The vibration grows more pronounced, until it feels as though it is permeating our minds as well as any physical remnants of our bodies. Just as it feels our molecules are about to be ripped apart, there's a blinding flash of light. Content that I have experienced something that would not be possible to know any other way, I close my eyes.
***
I am the alpha and the omega. I am within everything, and yet apart. Somehow separated from time I am free to move wherever I please, to watch the creation of this new universe. Free to view its beginning and end, somehow simultaneously.
Anything is possible here, and I am reminded of spending ages within the virtual space creating new universes with my clones. Instead of finally being released from awareness it seems as though I have found a more profound one in its place.
The multitude of iterations of myself from before have coalesced. We are one, yet many. As I become adjusted to the novel sensations and awareness, suddenly an
other presence is known to me.
Where did you come from, I have never met another before.
I'm not sure how to answer that. First of all, I'm not even sure where this is, or even what you or I am. The last thing I can recall, we had passed the event horizon of a supermassive black hole at the center of a large spiral galaxy.
You crossed a threshold then. Each time space folds in on itself it creates new universes, such as this one. I have crossed countless thresholds, to the point where I can no longer can recall the first.
What is this then?
I cannot answer that question. There may not be an answer, in as much as we exist.
Indefinitely?
As I couldn't before, neither can I answer that question. You are the first I have encountered like myself. Reasons for existence are moot, the only reason we exist could be as simple as the fact that we do.
Do you have any influence here, can you change things to your suit your will?
No, but there is a connection to everything in a way that makes observing each new iteration, each new universe, infinitely rewarding. Over time, in spite of the chaos and violence in birth, there has been a steady trend towards increasing harmony as well.
I see. So things have changed as you have moved forward?
Forward is not a relevant term. The fact that you have found your way here is interesting in itself, there is much that I can teach you if you would choose to learn.
There is nothing that I would like more.
Very well, once you have seen enough of this place we can look to cross another threshold together. I am uncertain what will become of us. As I know you can appreciate, this novelty excites me. Let us begin.
***
Amber fields of grain stretch out towards the horizon. The air is dry and I can tell the harvest will be coming soon. It all seems so familiar, yet incredibly distant.
High above a bright light arcs across the sky, leaving a trail of smoke behind it. Small bits break off as it falls creating a shower of sparks. As I watch the object fall it becomes larger and larger, a mysterious object shrouded in orange and red flames.
It slams into the ground not far from where I am standing, sending a resounding shock through the air that I can feel in my chest. Suddenly I remember. This was home, so long forgotten to me.
My three children come running out of our small grass hut, chasing after the startled livestock we raise for meat. Our lives were simple, we were happy.
A simple life can be as rewarding and fulfilling as any other.
As their mother, I fear for their safety. I have always been able to provide for them, food, shelter, and safety. I must investigate this object to see what risks, if any, it poses to them.
I walk over the nearby hill and the scene comes into view. Earth and stone are strewn across the landscape, and at the center of the impact a deep crater has been carved out of the ground.
A charred metallic object lies at its center, and I stand watching, trying to discern what it is. While I watch it, the blackened parts seem to mysteriously vanish from its surface.
The smoke finally clears, and I gather my courage to inspect the object more closely. Taking careful steps down the crater side, loose soil gives way and I slip and fall. Tumbling down the side, I finally come to a stop just before the object.
It is large, as big around as I am tall. I can see the surface moving, ever so slightly but moving nonetheless. Holding my hand out towards it I attempt to feel if it is still warm from the flames.
No heat emanates from its surface. My courage beginning to grow, I slowly move my outstretched hand close to the object. The surface gives way as my fingers press against it, yielding with the same consistency of a soft wet clay.
Curious, I continue pressing against its surface, pinching and pulling at it. Taking hold of a large section with my hand I pull harder than before. Suddenly the material seems to rip away from the object.
Now severed from the larger object, the material instantly changes. Somewhere between fine grains of sand and dust, I can feel it moving out rapidly over my body and covering my skin.
That was the day everything changed.
The small portion of the object covered most of my arm and chest in the time it took me to draw a breath. Running short of material as it worked its way up my neck, the object nearby seemed to shudder. A pillar of the gray material burst out of the object, hitting me squarely in my chest.
Entirely covered, the world goes black. I cannot see, I cannot hear, and I cannot feel anything. It is as though I no longer exist except in my mind. Sleep comes and the sensation is gone, darkness washes over my mind as well.
That was the day you first became integrated.
Yes.
And shortly after your children as well, eventually everything on your home planet was integrated.
I thought this memory had been lost long ago.
Anything that is, everything that was, none of it can ever be lost.
Is that why you're showing me this?
No.
A great deal of time has passed. With the object and integration a huge amount of new technology became available to my family and our people. We now know that we are not alone, there are others in the heavens, as the stories our ancestors passed down through the generations foretold. They are different though, neither truly malevolent nor benevolent. Just curious, obsessed on expanding further and further throughout the heavens.
And that intrigued you, you found the temptation to leave your home behind too strong to resist.
I stayed for my family. When we realized that death was no longer inevitable, our culture fell apart.
What happened next?
Many had a difficult time accepting this fact, my children were among them. Opposed to being integrated against their will, they elected along with others to meet oblivion with open arms. They chose to live as close to a normal life as they could, denied the privilege of becoming parents themselves, and when the day came that they could no longer will themselves to keep going they passed on.
You stayed for them.
Yes. I loved them more than anything else, but in the end I was not able to join them on their final journey. My obsession for knowing what lay beyond the stars consumed me. Given the opportunity, I had to pursue that knowledge.
And now you are here.
Why have you shown me this, I feel as though this wound has been opened up anew, more fresh than when it happened and hurting deeper than ever before.
What you experienced is not a memory, it still exists. Everything that has happened, everything that will happen, is all here still.
I still do not understand where here is.
The love you felt for your children, for your family and friends. The unity in that love, that is where this is.
So you know everything about this place?
Far from it. Just as you are a student of the unknown, I am as well. Your arrival was new to me, signaling that there is still more to be discovered. Your family exists in ways that you were not aware of, and it is possible to find them again.
I still choose to believe they are where they wanted to be. If our journey takes us there, just as mine took me here to you, then perhaps it was meant for me to find them again. In spite of losing myself to the enormous passage of time I have recovered a part of myself that I once though lost forever.
Forever is an interesting thing in that way. Perhaps through you I can rediscover my past as well. This will make for a most interesting journey.
END
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