by A. C. Grey
“Val please . . .” Emmy pleaded, needing desperately to focus on getting ready. “If I tell you what’s really going on, will you please stop and just help me? I’m freaking out here.”
“Fine. But I expect details. And I’m not going to be all girly with you and giggle and pass a note to her in class for you. There will be no drawing your names in little hearts and talking about how dreamy she is.”
Emmy rolled her eyes. Despite her roommate’s attitude, she was at least somewhat amusing and willing to help when crises such as this arose. She sighed and finally spilled the details. “So here’s the deal. Yes, you are right – I have a little crush on the President.”
“Little crush, my ass.” Val muttered, before Emmy cut her off with a murderous look.
Emmy sighed and continued. “There’s no point in denying it. She’s gorgeous and brilliant and confident and kind. She’s well, amazing. But there’s nothing going on, Val. Nothing. I swear to you. In case you forgot, she’s straight. We’re having dinner tonight, as friends, which she made abundantly clear. But I’m freaking out anyway, because well, as you know, that’s what I do when I have a crush. So please, please help me.” Emmy could hear the desperation in her own voice. “What do I wear? I can’t pick out an outfit to go out with you and Phil, let alone with the President.”
The look of panic on Emmy’s face almost softened Val’s heart . . . almost. “Okay.” Val paused for a moment to ponder the choices. “Don’t wear the purple top and black skirt you usually wear on first dates. It’s a little too hooker chic, especially with the knee-high boots you seem to love so much. Unless, you know, that’s the look you’re going for, which could work, because El Presidente is totally a closet lady lover, but whatever. Anyway, don’t go for that long black dress you somehow think looks good on you . . . it doesn’t. Unless you want the ‘Kiss Me I’m Amish’ look. If you think less is more when it comes to showing skin, that it’s the look for you. But somehow, I don’t think POTUS is the type to blush and swoon at the sight of a sliver of skin at the ankle. That dress covers you from head to toe. Seriously, Emmy, just burn the damn thing.”
“Val . . . you are not helping . . .” Emmy groaned.
“I’m thinking. It takes the genius that is my mind a minute to work through the possibilities. Okay, I’ve got it. Wear the red top. You know, the one that will have her staring at your rack all night? Pair it with some jeans and some heels and you’ll be all set. By morning, you’ll have ‘First Lady’ tattooed across your ass.”
“You’re so sweet, Manning, what would ever do without you.” Emmy said sarcastically. However, Val was right – the outfit could work. And on the off chance that Val was really right, there were worse things to have branded on her ass than “First Lady.” At least when the one doing the branding had blue eyes the color of the ocean and dimples to die for.
CHAPTER FIVE
Kate was freaking out. And she, Kate Stewart, did not freak out. Ever. Absolutely not. She was strong enough, confident enough, and smart enough to handle national and international crises on a daily basis. So why the hell was she so flustered?
She muttered to herself as she raided her closet. What the hell was she supposed to wear? And did it really even matter? She was completely overreacting. It’s not like this was a date. And she was also fairly certain that Emmy had only said yes because, well, who the hell says no to the President? Though, if she were honest with herself, if anyone could find the strength to say no, it would be someone like Emmy. Strong, quiet, confident. But maybe that was just wishful thinking on her part – trying to convince herself that Emmy was coming of her own accord.
And what did it matter? This was not anything more than a friendly dinner. And why should it be? Why the hell did this woman make her so discombobulated? She couldn’t get a handle on her feelings. All Kate knew was that whenever it was Emmy’s shift to protect her, she had a damn difficult time concentrating on anything other than the woman’s quiet presence. And for someone as busy and as important as she was, distraction was not a good thing to have. The things this woman did to her. She shook her head as she threw her tenth rejected outfit onto the floor. Undoubtedly Emmy wasn’t going through this nervous meltdown. She was probably calm, cool and collected . . . and ready to get her mandatory dinner with the boss over with.
Kate sighed as she ran a hand through her blonde tresses. She needed to get a grip. Taking a few deep breaths, she decided on a pair of gray slacks and a deep blue blouse with just a hint of cleavage. She knew the color brought out her eyes and figured it couldn’t hurt to look her best. Even if this was just a boring old dinner between a boss and her employee.
She sat down and put on a new pair of socks under her boots, smiling as she did so. Suddenly, this wasn’t just for her anymore. She thought maybe this was the start of a new private joke between her and Emmy and she’d cherish any such private time, even if it was over something as weird as her feet. It was lonely at the top.
Kate paced the room as she waited for Emmy’s arrival. She was shocked out of her reverie by the voice of the woman pervading her thoughts. “So aren’t you going to flash me?” Emmy said, a slightly wicked grin on her face.
“Um . . . what?” Kate replied, more than a little taken aback by Emmy’s question. She felt heat spread involuntarily across her skin. It didn’t help that the woman standing before her was gorgeous. She was stunning under normal circumstances, but seeing Emmy out of her business suit, with her dark brown hair let down and curling gently at her shoulders was just . . . for lack of a better word . . . hot.
Emmy silently cursed herself. Clearly the tequila Val had plied her with before her departure was already affecting her judgment. “Your socks,” she added, a little too belatedly to cover up the flirtatiousness of her comment. “Flash me your socks . . . unless you’ve got the same ones on as before. But somehow I suspect they’re different.”
Kate relaxed and smiled, her dimples shooting warmth right through Emmy’s heart. She reached down and lifted her pant leg to reveal a pair of black socks with the periodic table of elements on it – something usually only found in Chemistry textbooks.
“The Periodic Table?” Emmy asked, a bemused expression on her face as she arched an eyebrow.
Kate shrugged. “I’m a nerd at heart, what can I say?”
They sat down to dinner and enjoyed the meal prepared for them. Emmy couldn’t stop grinning as they settled into comfortable small talk. There was definitely something in the air. Definitely something between them. Or at least she thought so. The way Kate kept smiling, the glint in her eyes. It just seemed so easy, so relaxed. But then again, she’d been wrong in the past. Her radar wasn’t the best. And it still didn’t get rid of the fact that Kate’s dating history was very well publicized and there wasn’t a woman in sight. Just a string of men, each more gorgeous and successful than the last. And it wasn’t surprising. This woman was amazing, she was stunning, she was successful. She was the ultimate catch. She could probably have whomever the hell she wanted. Man or woman, gay or straight. She was that amazing. Or maybe only she, Emmy, felt it on that level. After all, Val didn’t seem to go weak in the knees around her. Quite the opposite. But then again, Emmy wasn’t quite sure that Val even had a heart, and if she did, it was probably made of steel. Not exactly the type to get all swoony.
Their conversation came to a lull. Neither one felt the need to say anything, content to just sit there, stealing glances and picking at their food. Kate struggled to keep her feelings in check, to keep her eyes diverted. She didn’t know what the hell was going on with her, but something about this woman just undid her. All she wanted to do was stare at her. All day. It wasn’t exactly polite and she didn’t want to creep Emmy out. So she contented herself with a few stolen glances while pushing her food around on her plate.
Emmy finally broke the silence. “Can I ask you something?”
Kate nodded. “Sure.”
“Why do you keep Hollander around?
It’s something that’s been bugging me. No offense if you like him, but he seems like a Class A jerk.”
Kate chuckled. “Don’t worry, Emmaline. I’m not offended at all. I feel the same way. One of the things about being in a position of power like mine is that you have to make sure you’re surrounded by intelligent, experienced people. Even if you don’t like them, if they’re best for the job, you deal with it. It doesn’t matter how smart you are, when you’re running a country, you need the insight of others. He came highly recommended and I have to say that I agree with him a good portion of the time. Not always. That date fiasco, for instance, but he definitely knows what he’s doing. So I overlook the fact that he’s a toad.”
Emmy laughed. “This may be overstepping some boundaries, but if you don’t mind me asking, what were you arguing with him about earlier today? If it’s something that I’m not supposed to know about, top secret or whatever, that’s totally cool.”
Kate paused for a moment, pondering a response. “Actually, I’d love to tell you. To get your thoughts, your insight. As I said, in a position like mine, it’s important to get the views of people whom you trust, people whose viewpoints matter. And I think you’re smart and may help me get a fresh perspective from someone not in the business of politics.”
Emmy warmed a little inside, her heart fluttering at Kate’s admission that she trusted her, that she valued her opinion.
Kate continued. “So the Republicans are pushing an amendment to the Constitution. One that would define marriage as being between one man and one woman. It’ll never pass. The threshold of votes needed and states to ratify it will never happen. This country may be a bit behind the times in terms of gay rights, but we’re not quite that bigoted. At least there are enough good people to block it anyway. But that’s not the point. The point is, the issue is in the news again, front and center. And people are looking to me to make a statement on this issue. I know how I feel on a personal level, which is that I’m all for gay marriage. But there’s fine line to be toed – if I come out as too extreme on the issue, it may affect my popularity, my ability to get other legislation passed, my ability to get re-elected. While that may be a bit selfish, I have to worry about things like that. I can’t make the changes this country so desperately needs if I don’t have the power to convince people, if I don’t have credibility, if I don’t have this office. So I guess, I’m asking what your take is on the whole thing. I’ve never been married. Maybe I’m missing some insight here. As a woman who’s been married to a man before, is there a reason why you think gay marriage should be any different from straight? Am I missing something?”
Emmy heart was thudding uncontrollably fast at this point. Here it was. Her opening, if she chose to accept it. She could at least let Kate know she wasn’t as straight as she appeared. Maybe hint that she was feeling more. Or she could hide behind the shield of her former marriage. Which route? She knew what she had to do, so took a deep breath and began.
“Well, here’s my take. I know that during your campaign, you took the stance that many Democrats take – that you believe marriage is between a man and a woman, but that you’re supportive of domestic partnerships or civil unions. And you believe these unions should have all the same rights and protections that come with traditional marriage. I don’t think that’s good enough. To me, it smacks of the ‘separate but equal’ problem this country had with the rights of African-Americans a half a century ago. Until everyone is truly treated as equal, with no special labels or designations, you run the risk of things not really, truly being equal.”
Kate nodded and smiled. Emmy really got it. She waited, sensing that Emmy wasn’t done.
“As someone who was previously married, I can say that I really don’t get the often-used argument that gay marriage ruins the sanctity of marriage. Straight people are doing a good enough job messing that up on their own. Britney Spears and her 5-minute Vegas marriage. Cheaters like Tiger Woods. People like Elizabeth Taylor who have been married a billion times. Even me. I let my marriage slip away. And frankly, what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedroom is none of my business and in no way affects my ability to get married or to enjoy that marriage. I’m sure there are plenty of straight people who do really, really freaky things in bed that would horrify me. But as long as no one’s getting hurt, that’s their prerogative. But I realize it’s about more than just sex. It’s about commitment, it’s about benefits. What I don’t understand is why certain people are willing to deny others the same rights and privileges they enjoy, just because they’re different. I may think that certain people are disgusting, depraved, or even just downright obnoxious, but it doesn’t mean I think they should be treated differently under the law. It’s just unkind, judgmental, and unfair. But I’ve probably rambled on too long.” She let out a breath, fearful that her ramble would somehow offend Kate.
She paused, debating whether to tell Kate about her feelings, or at least the fact that she considered her own sexuality to be fluid. However, at the last moment, she chickened out. She didn’t feel the time was right, and couldn’t quite make the words come out.
Kate shook her head. “You are amazing Emmaline. So insightful. Thank you for sharing that with me. It really helps.” She paused. There was something about this woman that made her want to break down every carefully constructed barrier she had in place. It was as if Emmy somehow silently demanded absolute honesty.
Kate took a deep breath and met Emmy’s soulful green eyes. “Can I tell you something and you’ll give me your word that you’ll keep it to yourself?”
Emmy nodded.
“I’m not exactly who I appear to be.”
Emmy looked at her, a little perplexed. “What do you mean?”
Kate paused for a beat, weighing whether she really wanted to do what her heart was screaming for her to do. Her head, on the other hand, was telling her she was foolish. Pushing her doubts aside, she forged ahead. After one more deep breath, she continued, looking straight into Emmy’s eyes. “I’m gay, Emmaline.”
CHAPTER SIX
“I’m gay, Emmaline.”
The words rang out and shot a jolt right through Emmy’s heart. She was stunned into an overwhelmed silence. This changed so much . . . or did it? Suddenly, the possibility that Kate might feel something for her didn’t seem quite as long a shot as it had 30 seconds ago. But on the other hand, just because Kate was gay didn’t mean that she automatically liked every woman on the planet, and it still didn’t change the fact that this woman was so amazing that she could probably have any woman she wanted. Besides, Kate had no idea that she, Emmy, was bisexual. So there was no real reason that she would have come out to her in an effort to woo her. Kate just trusted her as a friend. Still, it didn’t stop Emmy’s heart from swelling, from feeling the wash of nerves and emotion spread like wildfire throughout her body. She was so wrapped up in her surprise and her warring thoughts that she forgot that Kate was waiting for a response.
Kate studied Emmy’s face as the revelation washed over her, looking for some sign of what the woman thought. The stunned look on Emmy’s face made Kate nervous, scared, and flustered. She wasn’t sure what reaction she’d been hoping for – perhaps, “I’m gay too and I want to tear your clothes off.” But that wasn’t realistic. The problem was, she didn’t know what to make of Emmy’s stunned silence. Was she simply surprised, but okay with it? Was she horrified and trying to figure out a way to politely escape the room? Was she happy? Upset? Indifferent? Kate struggled to maintain her composure. She couldn’t get a read on this woman and it left her unnerved all over again. And really, why did it matter what Emmy thought? She shook off that thought. Of course it mattered – it mattered so much. Because like it or not, Kate knew, deep down, she was falling for this woman. Hard.
Finally, her nerves got the better of her, and she attempted to diffuse the situation. “Emmaline, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have burdened you with that. It’s a lot to take in. I just hope I h
aven’t offended you. I knew I should have kept my mouth shut.” Kate rose from the table and turned away from Emmy, hoping to hide her discomfort and hurt.
Kate’s words broke Emmy out of her thoughts. Seeing the normally unflappable woman pace back and forth nervously warmed her heart. Clearly this had been hard for Kate to admit. Incredibly hard, given the position she was in. Emmy stood and placed a gentle hand on Kate’s shoulder. Kate jumped slightly at the unexpected contact before turning to face Emmy. Deep green eyes locked on azure ones as Emmy gazed at Kate.
She shook her head and smiled, hoping to put Kate at ease. “Don’t freak out. It’s cool, really. I’m fine. You just took me by surprise. I’m glad you told me. So glad. It must be incredibly hard keeping that inside all the time. I’m touched, really, that you’d trust me with something like that.” She smiled again and after a momentary hesitation, reached out and reassuringly ran her hand up and down Kate’s arm.
