They had the same conversation every day. And yet every day at noon, they both arrived.
If he were a lesser man, he’d have had her long ago. But he couldn’t in good conscience, not with knowing he would have to marry another someday.
He would marry another, one befitting his station.
Until then, he dreaded the day she would finally not show at noon.
Chapter Six
Senara ran down the stairs on trembling knees. Her lips tingled with Gavin’s kiss and her body burned, burned, burned.
Their meetings on the stairs were always brief and precious. They’d started off with smiles, then a finger trailed over a hand, then fingers clasped, then looks with far too much promise.
Kisses had soon followed and now…now her body craved so much more. Her skin tingled with heightened sensitivity and the warm, wet thrum between her legs was liable to drive her to distraction.
She knew he did not push their lust further for her sake. While she knew her thoughts to be wicked, she no longer wished him to hold back.
The ache for him was palpable and altogether distractingly present almost every moment of the day.
“Senara.” Lady Edana’s voice was a welcome interruption to the power of her own thoughts. “A missive arrived for ye.”
Senara rushed forward and took the parchment from the lady’s outstretched hand. The seal had already been snapped open and Edana had not even bothered to properly fold it close again.
Lady Edana turned away with disinterest and let her fingers hover indecisively over several different pots of face creams. “Yer family is dead.”
All the blazing heat of Senara’s body slipped away and left her icy cold. “What?” She ripped open the paper with numb fingers and read the paragraph scrawled there.
It was true.
Her entire family. Dead. Carried off by the plague.
Senara stumbled backward and only stayed upright with the aid of the solid wall catching her back.
Duncan, her old neighbor, sent his apologies and prayers for her good health in such times. He expressed his sorrow in not only their loss, but his inability to send her even a token from their home as everything had been burned to prevent the plague seeds.
All of it. All of them.
Gone.
As if they had never existed.
Gone.
The word screamed in her mind until her throat was tight. Senara pushed away from the wall and ran from the room on legs she felt sure would collapse under her weight.
“Senara,” Edana called after her. “Ye were no’ dismissed.”
She called out again, but Senara was beyond caring. Her family was dead.
Ma with her kind patience and gentle hands, Da who had always been so strong and brave. And Geordie. Her heart gave a savage wrench in her chest as one of his sweet smiles played out in her mind.
He would never smile again.
She scrambled up the steps, past the landing near the solar where Gavin most likely remained, and did not stop until she reached her room. Part of her had wanted to see Gavin, to fling herself into his arms and let loose the flood of her sorrow to pour from her heart in the safety of his embrace.
But no, she did not want his sympathy or his pity. All she wanted was to be alone with the ghost of memories she needed to cling to.
She plunged into her room and slammed the door behind her, for once finally caring at her inability to lock it. She buried her face in the thin pillow, which crackled with the straw and herbs within, and let her heart break open.
She would never again feel her ma’s reassuring embrace or stroke the impossible softness of her arms while she did so.
She would never spar with her father and feel empowered by his encouragement.
She would never hear Geordie’s innocent giggles or feel the silky brush of his hair under her palm when she rubbed his head.
Her life was gone and her world over. She’d sacrificed her last six months with them for independence.
It had been an unfair trade, one she wished she could draw back.
If she’d stayed, she’d be dead along with them. Where she belonged.
Dead and blissfully unfeeling from the rending hurt inside her.
Her name was screamed from down below, but she ignored the summons.
Something heavy and metal scraped across the floor. She opened her swollen eyes and found her sword beside her. She sat up and lifted its weight into her hands. The metal was so cold, it near burned her fingertips.
She pressed a kiss to the hilt and another sob burst from her throat. The sword symbolized so much, meant so much. It had been her father’s past, her brother’s future, and now was left only to her miserable present.
“Senara.” Lady Edana’s voice screeched in the hallway and something hard slammed against the thin door. “Open this door immediately.”
Balthasar materialized in the room, his hands braced against the door.
Edana’s grunted efforts came from the other side and the knob rattled with her efforts. Balthasar curled his fingers around the handle, and a cry sounded from the hall.
He turned to Senara, his gray eyes soft with sorrow and bowed low in reverence before fading from view once more. Behind where he’d stood, the handle on the door was white with frost. He’d frozen her door closed.
He’d given her the privacy to mourn.
And mourn she did, for truly she had lost everything.
*
It was noon and she had not come.
Gavin stood on the stairs like a fool, waiting. Perhaps the old clock had gone wild in its inaccuracy and he was too early.
His heart squeezed.
Or too late.
If he’d shown too late, she would assume it was he who finally ceased their innocent meetings. The meetings he longed to make so much more than innocent.
Footsteps pounded on the stairs with haste and sent his heart hammering anew. It was not Senara who came into view, but a sweaty Renny, his face flushed with exertion. “I was hoping ye’d be in yer solar.” The stable lad panted around his words. “I’m glad to have found ye before ye left.”
Gavin frowned at the lad. There was obviously something wrong. He seldom saw Renny indoors, away from the horses he adored so much. “What is it, lad? Is it Edana?”
Edana had, on several occasions, attempted to have Norbert sold off, claiming him a flea-ridden beast. Fortunately Renny had always managed to keep the animal safe until Gavin could be notified and secure the animal’s place among the stables once more.
Renny shook his head. Sweat was beginning to seep through the chest of his simple brown tunic. “It’s Senara. She’s in there wi’ Norbert and willna come out. She willna speak wi’ me and just cries and cries and cries.”
Perhaps he said more, but Gavin was already racing down the stairs, making his way toward the stables.
She was as Renny had said, one arm slung over Norbert’s powerful neck, her face pressed into the black of his mane. Her sobs were soft and her body sagged against the animal with exhaustion.
“Senara.” Gavin said her name softly when he entered the stable.
Norbert looked up at him with his dark eyes and gave a slow, long-lashed blink.
Gavin repeated Senara’s name and approached her. She did not flinch when he touched her shoulder, but she did not go to him either.
“What is it, lass?” he asked. “What’s happened? Is it something my aunt—”
She turned to him with hurt burning deep in her red-rimmed eyes. Her nose was pink and her cheeks wet with tears. “They’re dead, Gavin. The lot of them.” She hugged Norbert once more. “My sweet family.”
The horse turned his massive head toward her and nuzzled her as a dog might comfort its master.
“Come, Senara.” Gavin gently pulled her from Norbert. He looked behind him and found Renny watching, his blue eyes wide with concern. “Let Renny care for Norbert, aye? He needs to be set to the field to stretch his legs a
bit, and his stable cleaned. Ye know Renny will protect Norbert with his life.”
She swiped the heels of her hands over her damp cheeks and nodded.
Gavin shared a nod with Renny as he left. The lad would care well for the horse, of that Gavin was certain.
He did not speak again until they were up the stairs and in his solar.
Alone.
She clung to him and sobbed while he held her. It ached seeing her so miserable, knowing there was nothing he could do. He listened to the stories of her da’s bravery, her ma’s kindness, and the fond memories she’d shared with her wee brother. His heart winced at the loss of a family so lit by joy, at the loss so very devastating to his beautiful Senara.
“I’ve nothing left,” she whispered into his chest.
His leine was soaked with the tears of her broken heart. He stroked a hand down her slender back. “Ye’ve got me.”
She looked up at him then, her lashes spiky from shed tears. “Do I?”
There was such hope in her gaze, such longing, he could not stop the words from leaving his mouth. “Aye, ye do. Ye always have.”
But the words came from his heart, not his head.
His head knew he would have to find a marriage fitting a laird, a beneficial match. Eventually. Hopefully not too late to be able to produce an heir.
But his damned heart cared naught for details or station or wealth. His heart wanted Senara.
It was then he knew the truth – he was in love.
Before he could speak, she stood on her tiptoes, her body stretched against his, and pressed her lips to his. The saltiness of her sorrow lingered on her mouth, but he kissed it away, as if doing so could remove the hurt that had put them there.
Her tongue flicked against his and their kiss deepened. He clutched her to him and lust burned white hot through him, like fire gone wild and unrestrained.
They weren’t on the stairs sharing an innocent kiss where someone might come and force them to jump apart. They were behind a locked door.
Alone.
In private.
A groan dragged from his throat and he released her to push his palms hard against the wall behind her. The rough-hewn stone bit into his skin, and he welcomed the distraction from the haze of lust he wanted so eagerly to succumb to.
“I dinna want to take yer maidenhead, Senara.” He stared down at her, taking in her wide gaze and kiss-swollen lips. “Ye’re grieving and I—”
She pushed her hands to his cheeks, capturing his face between her palms, and searched his eyes with her own. “Make me forget.” There was something desperate in her tone. “Love me and make me forget.”
Then she kissed him again, hot and sweet with lips and tongue and teeth. With a growl, he surrendered to the need screaming through him, finally surrendering to everything he craved.
After so long of denying himself, Senara would be his.
They’d spent six months building up to this, their subtle touches and kisses all kindling set to ignite between them.
Their hands raked and clawed with desperation to slide cloth from body, to feel the heat of skin to skin, to see and touch what had been too long clothed, to taste everything.
Their clothes tangled into a jumble on the floor until they were both gloriously nude. The moment of realization came with a reflective calm, the type which severs a ferocious storm and offers a brief reprieve before it consumes all once more.
So, too, did that moment offer them a chance to let their gazes feast over one another’s bared flesh. For Gavin to appreciate the beauty of Senara’s small breasts sitting high on her chest with tightly drawn nipples, the curve of where her waist met her hips in a tantalizing line which begged for the glide of his palm, the little crease of her belly button which tempted him to press his lips upon. Her thighs were long and slender and glistened with an inviting dampness he would soon sample.
It was seeing such evidence of her longing, of knowing how strong her desire for him, how wet and willing her body, which snapped him from the quiet and brought upon them both the storm of passion once more.
They fell upon each other, hot flesh and throbbing desire. His cock pressed against her naked thigh, straining for a relief he knew only she could offer. Her hands moved with restless desire over his body, sending ripples of pleasure dancing over his skin.
His mouth found her nipple. He drew it between his lips and teased the bud with his teeth and tongue while sampling the weighted silk of her breasts in his hands.
Then her fingers curled around the length of his cock and any remaining rational thought fled his mind, save the resounding knowledge that Senara was wholly and truly his.
Chapter Seven
There was no more thought, only glorious feeling.
Senara’s skin sizzled with anticipation and her veins hummed with excitement. Gavin’s member was hard and heavy in her hands, the skin delightfully silken. Touching him so boldly singed through her and made the savage pulse between her legs intensify.
His mouth was on hers and his hands caressed with the trembling strength of barely constrained need.
She wanted him.
She wanted this with him.
She wanted her thoughts burned away by desire until they were ash to blow away in the wind.
He eased her back to the ground where their clothing lay discarded. The errant folds of fabric were bunched and soft beneath her back, though she noticed it for only one moment before his powerful body stretched over hers.
And he was powerful – his body bared and perfect in the stream of daylight, every movement rippling with strength and masculine beauty.
His skin was heated where it touched hers, and the coarse hairs of his chest and legs chafed deliciously over her sensitive flesh. He caught her face with one of his hands and kissed her long and deep, the way they’d only hinted at for so long on the stairs.
The stroke of his tongue, the rasp of his chin against hers, the heat of him so close to her…all of it was more than she could bear. She squeezed her thighs against his body, as if she could pull him more tightly against her and encourage him toward the maddening heat.
Wild anticipation pounded through her, drowning her, making all of her too hot to bear.
He shifted his hand lower, and something nudged against the heat between her legs. A moan caught in the back of her throat.
Yes.
This.
He caught her bottom in his hand and pushed inside, hard and quick. Pain pinched through her, breaking for the briefest of moments through the dreamlike state of her arousal.
He paused over her, his body trembling with the effort, and she realized he did so for her benefit. His warm brown gaze watched hers with such a concerned and serious expression, she almost laughed.
Instead, she smiled up at him.
He caught her mouth in a delicious kiss and pulled out slowly, only to push back in. Pleasure and pain mingled into something tantalizing, something promising.
Rather than pull away from the initial discomfort, she gave herself to it with abandon. She lifted her hips, meeting the beat of his thrust, and was rewarded with a rush of pleasure tingling through her.
A gasp escaped her lips.
His body was tight under her fingertips, his muscles like wrought steel. He was still holding back.
Senara caught his strong torso in her hands and pulled him down toward her so his weight rested full on her, crushing her breasts and putting his mouth above hers.
He groaned and pushed deeper into her.
The insistent heat came back in a rush and pushed her into a state of nothing but feeling. His breath whispered over her skin, his body glided over hers, and the bliss throbbed through her. He kissed her and moved a hand between their bodies. His finger moved against the source of her ache, rubbing in time with the flex of his hips.
His breath in her ear came hard and fast, as did her own.
Her body tightened, and everything in her felt as though it might shatter.
Gavin’s speed only increased, shoving her over whatever edge she teetered on until everything in her blossomed with warmth and light and euphoria. She pressed her face into his neck and gave a muffled cry against the saltiness of his skin.
He pushed deep and stayed there while his length flexed within her. His groan sounded in her ear, hoarse and gritted.
Their hearts raced together and their breaths came in fast pants. For some time, they lay with one another on the floor, the winter chill in the air tingling over their sweat-slicked skin while their pulses returned to normal.
Senara was nearing the pull of sleep when she had the sense of being watched. Her lips curled into a contented smile even as she opened her eyes and found Gavin staring down at her. His expression was soft and his mouth held the same languid grin as she felt on hers.
“I prefer meeting here to the stairs,” Senara said.
Gavin’s eyes crinkled at the corners and he chuckled softly. “As do I, my bonny lass.”
He pressed a warm kiss to her mouth, far tamer and sweeter than their previous ones had been. And it was exactly perfect.
Senara smiled against his lips and tried to ignore the insistent press of all she had been trying to forget. She wanted to stay locked in the moment forever, where the pain of loss could not touch her. Where love was her shield.
He stroked the hair back from her brow. “We shouldna see one another anymore.” His eyes danced as he said it.
She nodded in agreement while keeping her gaze fixed on his. “Aye, it isna a good idea to see one another again.”
His mouth came down on hers at once, so greedy and hungry it renewed her lust once more. They lost themselves in each other for the duration of the afternoon, knowing their words to be empty and their hearts to be full.
*
Gavin did see Senara in his solar again.
And again.
And again.
For the next two months they continued to see one another, not only in the privacy of the solar, but occasionally on the stairs. Their fingertips would brush one another and their glances lasted the lifetime of a second, every small touch a whisper of a promise for so much more later.
A Ghostly Tale of Forbidden Love (Highland Passions Book 1) Page 5
