by Emma Vikes
“I did,” Sage said with a wink, and then she noticed me and ran to where I was, wrapping her small arms around my waist, “but I’ve missed you more, Momma.” She was only gone for one night but she acted as if she hadn’t seen me the whole week.
I kissed the top of her head and pointed at the food on the counter. “Go set up the table with Ansel. I have a new recipe I want you both to try.”
She nodded her head obediently and had Ansel help her set the table.
I plated the food and placed it on the center of the small table we had and Ansel helped me take off my apron. I gave each of them a portion of the food I just made and looked at them expectantly. “The presentation’s off at the moment but I’m just really focusing on the taste right now.”
Sage smelled it first and gave me a thumbs.
Ansel had already devoured it. “Is this brisket?”
I nodded. “It’s a brisket patty melt.”
“On cornbread?”
I nodded again. “How does it taste?”
Both of them gave me a huge smile.
Sage said, “I don’t think you’ll ever fail on any recipe, Mom.”
I couldn’t help but smile at her compliment.
Ansel chortled. “That’s because you haven’t tasted any of her failed recipes, Sage.”
Sage looked over at him. “Have you?”
Ansel nodded his head. “Of course. When your mom was a lot younger, she had a bad habit of adding garlic to nearly every food she made. Whether it was garlic powder or a clove, she always slipped some in her cooking.”
“Hey, you never complained!” I interjected, glaring at him.
Sage stared at us in amazement. “Does that mean you two have known each other long?”
Ansel and I glanced at each other. It wasn’t something I’d ever mentioned to Sage. She always assumed Ansel was simply my boss. I nodded my head. “Ansel and I went to the same university. The one your Aunt Joanne and Aunt Giselle and I went to.”
Sage nodded her head in understanding. “That explains why Aunt Joanne knew you!”
“Your mom and I were pretty close back in college,” Ansel began, winking at me.
I glared at him in response. I didn’t want him to say anything that would tell Sage Ansel and I used to date. “Shame that we lost track of each other for eight years.”
“But your paths crossed again!” Sage exclaimed, her eyes widening. For some reason, excitement shone in her eyes. “Maybe it means something! Maybe there’s a reason why you two met again!”
This conclusion of hers, somehow made me feel uneasy
Ansel was grinning, loving Sage’s reaction. “I think so too, kid, and I feel like your mom will be convinced that there’s a reason for all of this.” Ansel was loving every bit of Sage’s reaction.
I stepped on his foot to make him stop milking it even more.
Fortunately, we changed the topic at some point during the meal and when we were finished eating, Ansel volunteered to wash the dishes. Sage went to her room, telling us that she had a project she wanted to start working on.
I stayed with Ansel in the kitchen, drying the plates while he washed.
“Do you have any plans for tomorrow?”
He asked the question so coyly that it made me chuckle. “No. Sage and I will probably just stay here and hang out. I feel like I need to catch up on some needed rest.”
“Mind if you postpone that to another day off? I plan to visit Nan tomorrow and when we were talking last night, I kind of slipped and told her we went on a date.” He looked sheepish.
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at him. Then I thought about it for a moment. I’d always had a good relationship with Ansel’s grandmother. I lost mine at such a young age that I never got to create enough memories with her. When we were still dating, Ansel would often take me to see his grandparents. Nana filled in the longing I had for a grandmother perfectly. “Are we bringing Sage along?”
Ansel nodded his head eagerly. “Of course. Nan would love to meet her.”
His words made my heart skip a beat and I bit on my lower lip uneasily. Taking a deep breath, I turned to Ansel with a smile on my face. “Alright. I’ll go tell her before she goes to bed later. If I tell her now, she’ll be too excited.”
Ansel stared at me intently.
I raised my eyebrows at him with the sudden seriousness in his gaze when we were having a casual conversation.
Then, his lips twitched upward into a smile and he shrugged his shoulders. “Nan didn’t want to believe me when I told her that I went on a date with you again. She thought I didn’t deserve the chance you’re giving me.”
“Well, you did break my heart and cheated on me. I’m honestly surprised that I’m letting you back in my life when I swore to myself that I would never.”
Ansel turned to face me and removed the kitchen gloves he was using. He lifted a hand to touch my face and his thumb gently caressed my cheek. “I was an ass for letting you go the way I did and if I could turn back time, I wouldn’t have trampled on your heart like that. But you’re giving me this chance now and I will do anything to prove to you that I deserve it.”
As I stared into his honey-colored eyes, I could feel my eyes stinging and the lump in my throat forming. I felt like crying for some reason but it wasn’t because his words made me sad. To be honest, his words were making my heart melt, and…
I really wanted to believe we deserved another chance.
17
Maia
Ansel’s grandparents’ home looked the same as I last remembered it, although the once cheerful yellow paint looked duller now.
But despite the dull color, the owner of the house still greeted us with a warm smile. She was waving at our car excitedly before anyone of us could get out and Nana slowly climbed down the porch steps.
Ansel hurriedly got out of the driver’s seat and rushed to help his grandmother. “I bought you a cane, so you could use it to help you walk and yet, you’re simply leaving it there on display.”
“I’m saving it for the moment I’m meant to whack you. That’s a far better purpose for a cane than anything.”
I couldn’t help but smile. Ansel always argued with his grandmother. Always a feisty woman who wouldn’t let anything Ansel did simply slide. Their dynamic was always fun to watch but Ansel with Pops had been even more entertaining. But Pops wasn’t with us anymore and I honestly felt bad because I couldn’t be with Nana when she mourned his loss.
“Oh, Maia!” Her tone drastically changed when she called me as I got out of the car. She approached me and placed her hands on my shoulder and then on my face. “Oh, my dear sweetheart, you still look as beautiful as I remembered.” She pulled me in for a hug.
I gratefully hugged her back. She felt frail and thin in my arms and it made my heart sink. “Nana, it’s great to see you. I’m glad Ansel brought me to see you again.”
“As he should!” Nana answered, glaring at his grandson. “I wouldn’t have to wait eight years to see your pretty face again, if only he gotten his shit together.”
“Language, Nan,” Ansel’s tone was condescending. “There’s a kid in our midst.”
Sage stood by his side.
I watched Nana’s reaction. Surprise showed in her eyes and it took her a moment before she approached Sage slowly. She placed a frail hand on Sage’s cheek and then she smiled at my daughter, the same smile that had been on her face the first time I met her. “Well, hello there. You look as lovely as your mother,” Nana greeted her warmly.
Sage looked up at her in wonder, her light brown eyes wide.
“I’m Ansel’s grandmother. You can call me Nan or Nana or grandma if you’d like.”
Sage grinned and then wrapped her small arms around Nana’s waist. “Hi! I’m Sage and it’s great to meet you!”
The sight of Sage hugging Nana and looking up at her warmed my heart. I felt an arm over my shoulder and I looked to my side.
Ansel was grinning. “S
he volunteers in an orphanage near here and is their majority of the time. At this point, she’s not just my grandmother but basically, everyone’s and she loves it. I think it’s because she gets a lot of cards during Christmas.”
Sage and Nana hit it off right away as my daughter animatedly told Nana anything she could think of. It never ceased to amaze me how easily Sage got along with people. She could meet one person for the first time in her life and within five minutes, they were the best of friends. Sage had often been awarded Miss Congeniality in school since pre-school.
“Oh, you’ve cooked quite a feast, Nan!” I complimented her.
Ansel snickered next to me. “I’ll bet ten dollars on the takeout boxes littered in the kitchen,” he said with a sly grin.
Nana glared at her grandson as she had never been a cook. Between her and Pops, the latter was better in the kitchen. She had never minded it but Ansel never let her live it down. “Oh shut up, why don’t you?” Nana hissed, glaring daggers at him.
Their dynamic was still as amusing as it’d always been.
We all took our seats. Sage sat next to me while I sat across from Ansel as Nana was right next to him. Ansel was the one who placed food on Sage’s plate.
Nana was watching him with a small smile and pride in her eyes. Then, she turned to look at me. “He used to complain every time I asked him to come and help me at the orphanage. He acts like he’s allergic to kids but he’s an absolute angel to yours,” she said this in a hushed tone.
Ansel still heard it and glared at her. “You’re supposed to say nice things about me, Nan.”
“It’s not like Maia needs to hear them. She knows the absolute worst things about you anyway.”
I stifled a laugh and loved her nonchalance.
Ansel grumbled under his breath.
Sage just watched the adults interact with amusement.
The conversation remained light while Ansel and Nana jabbed at each whenever they could and it was entertaining for Sage and me.
I helped Nana with the dishes and Ansel took Sage to the backyard.
He remembered his old bike was still here and Nana had kept it in the shed. Through the kitchen window, I watched as Ansel fixed his old bike and pumped air into its wheels. Sage stood next to him, excited to get on it. She already knew how to ride one but it’d been a long time since she had done so since we couldn’t take her bike with us anywhere.
“Ansel was adamant to get her a skateboard,” I told Nana randomly as I scrubbed on her porcelain dishes. “We literally argued about it for a while until we reached her school. I remembered how he used to be so clumsy on his board and couldn’t risk letting him teach Sage.”
Nana smiled as she dried the plate I passed to her. “It’s honestly refreshing to see him interact with a kid. For a while, I was scared that he would be just like his father. But seeing how kind he is with Sage, I think he’ll be good to his own kid one day.”
The comment caught me off-guard and my heart sank a little. I chewed on my bottom lip, guilt rising from within me.
Nana continued to speak as I remained silent next to her, “Every day, I pray that I get to live until I see Ansel with his own baby. Of course, I’d prefer it if it was with you but since you two broke up, I didn’t care if it was with a random woman as long as he took responsibility. There’s nothing more his Pops and I wanted than to see Ansel have his own family and be with his kids the way we knew he wanted his parents to be with him. But if I die before I witness him have his own children, I’m okay with what I’m seeing now.” She turned to me fully and squeezed my forearm. “I hope that it’s really you and him in the end, Maia. There’s no one else I’d want to be with him than you and I get an instant great grandkid if it’s really you. At least, if I don’t get the chance to witness your wedding or you two have your children, I’ve seen him with your kid and I’ll be at peace knowing he’ll be a good dad.”
I could feel my eyes suddenly sting with tears and I had to force myself to look away just so Nana didn’t notice it. It was a good thing Ansel and Sage were signaling for her to come outside and she excused herself from me. Balling my hands into fists, I stared at the three of them laughing and having fun together.
The truth was coming out of the shadows and I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
The two lines could only mean one thing: I was pregnant.
I stared at the pregnancy stick in my hand and my tears spilled before I could stop them. The timing couldn’t have been any worse. I was only twenty and living off the college-fund that my mom managed to save up for me. I worked part-time at a small diner that could only cover my rent and I was still in college.
What made it worse?
I broke up with the father of my child.
“Maia! Can I borrow your…” The words died on Joanne’s lips as she saw me sitting on the edge of my bed, clutching a positive pregnancy test. “Oh my god, Maia.”
I couldn’t even look up at my friend as she wrapped her arms around me, holding me close to her as I cried my eyes out. Crying seemed like all I’d been doing lately. It’d only been two weeks since Ansel and I broke up. And only three days since I’ve told myself that I was going to get my shit together and move on from the guy that trampled on my heart. I’d already thrown away everything he ever gave me.
But now I had a reminder from him that I could never throw away.
“What am I gonna do, Joanne?” I whispered, crying in my friend’s arms.
Joanne rubbed my back soothingly. “We’ll figure out a way, Maia. We’ll figure out away.”
The door suddenly slammed loudly, jolting me out of my memories.
Ansel appeared in the kitchen, looking at me with a questioning gaze. “Everything okay with you? You’re not upset we didn’t ask you to join, right?”
I flashed him a thin-lipped smile and shook my head. “No, not at all. I still have a lot of tidying up to do here.”
Ansel nodded, flashing me a grin. “Sage wants strawberry ice cream, so I’m just gonna do a quick run to the store and get her a tub. Are you craving anything?”
I shook my head, unable to focus on the conversation as the guilt slowly consumed me. “No, thank you.”
Ansel disappeared from the kitchen and I turned my attention back to Sage and Nana. Nana’s words from our conversation just a few moments ago echoed in my mind again. It broke my heart to know what she longed for and that it was actually right in front of her. If only I’d told Ansel about Sage eight years ago, it would’ve been different for all of us.
I’d made my decision. I was going to tell Ansel about the baby. He should know about our child and it wasn’t as if I was asking him to be with me again. I couldn’t be with someone that broke my heart the same way my father broke my mom’s. But I didn’t want to raise the child on my own. I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to raise the baby all by myself.
The gate of the fraternity house was closed but I could hear music coming from inside. It was dark and raining and I didn’t even bring an umbrella with me. It was as if I was possessed and forced to come here to tell Ansel about the baby. Just as I was about to ring the doorbell, I noticed the shadows on the front door.
Two people were sitting on the doorstep and as I squinted to look closely, I realized it was Ansel and Garrett, drinking. I’ve intended to talk to Ansel but I suddenly felt nervous so I stayed hidden until I found the courage I needed to face him. As I hid in the shadows, I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation between the two of them.
“I still can’t believe you broke up with Maia,” Garrett said. “I can’t believe you did that to her. You two were perfect together, Ansel.”
It seemed to be an out of the blue kind of statement because Ansel didn’t seem to expect him to bring me up.
My heart sank at Garrett’s words but then I remembered how anxious he’d been when I arrived at the party. He knew what Ansel was doing and even if he seemed to be rooting for me right now, it didn’t change the fact that he
still supported Ansel cheating on me. He could’ve talked sense into his friend knowing that what his friend was doing was wrong.
“Don’t you think it’s too late for you to reprimand me of my actions, Garrett?” Ansel countered, taking a swig of his beer.
For a moment, I thought I could hear the regret in his voice but maybe I was imagining it.
Ansel let out a breath as he leaned on his elbows and stared at the night sky. “But if you’re curious, I don’t regret it, Garrett.”
His words pierced my heart more than his cheating did. I sucked in a breath, my eyes instantly stinging with unshed tears.
Ansel continued to speak, “The relationship was slowly dwindling, anyway. Maia didn’t excite me like she used to. I’m graduating and won’t be here next year anymore either. It didn’t make sense to keep a relationship that’s bound to fall apart when we’re not in the same space.”
“Did you have to cheat on her though?”
For some reason, I was curious to know his answer.
Ansel turned to look at Garrett and smirked. “Why not? A girl threw herself at me and I didn’t really give a fuck about my relationship anymore. Whether she caught me or not, I was going to break up with her anyway.”
“Don’t you even care about her feelings?”
“Garrett, whatever I do to break up with her, it’s bound to hurt her feelings,” Ansel answered, “and don’t you think it’ll hurt her even more if I told her I didn’t feel anything for her anymore? To me, that’s more heartbreaking than her seeing me with another woman.”
I hated how nonchalant he sounded.
Little did Ansel know, he was right. Hearing him say that he didn’t feel anything for me anymore shattered the remaining pieces of my heart even more. I fell to the ground, the rain drenching me thoroughly, as I quietly gasped for breaths as I sobbed. Subconsciously, my hand rested on my stomach and my heart broke for my unborn child.
I’d witnessed how my parents’ marriage fell apart because my dad didn’t my mom the way he should’ve. I couldn’t do the same thing to my child, knowing how painful the process was for me to go through. As much as I wanted my baby to grow up with a complete family, I didn’t want her to go through what I did. I’d rather raise my child on my own than have him or her raised under a roof with parents who didn’t love each other.
