by Cat Wilder
Before coming to the wall, I spent my time sneak-thieving in two of the farm villages supporting the town. I wanted to make a grapple, but found almost no metal in the villages. I did find enough rope, so my plans changed slightly.
I'm not exactly a cowgirl, but I had to try. Using the rope like a lasso, I started throwing it up at the merlons. My first five throws didn't even reach the top of the walls.
Grapples are so much easier.
I lost count of how many times I tried to lasso a merlon, but I eventually succeeded. Success almost pulled a cry of delight out. Climbing up, I eased into a crenel, looked both ways, and grinned. The closest pigmen stood a good twenty feet away, speaking quietly together instead of doing their duty. So I remained crouched in the crenel while I pulled up my rope and stored it in inventory. I might need it to escape.
The catwalk didn't have a rail or anything on the town side. Looked dangerous. I eased my weight down on it, hearing a low creak. Two steps across, and I slipped over the side to dangle above the street, before dropping down into the night shadows.
I froze and listened. No alarms shouted. The two guards continued their conversation.
I did it.
I pulled up my HUD, checked the map. Earlier, I'd tagged the pig brothers' house. I studied the twisting, turning streets and determined my best, fastest route. The town wasn't that big by 21st Century earth standards, but still substantial to walk.
Small towns didn't provide any light at night. No lamps or torches. Hell, everything burned so they took great care with all sources of fire. The streets lay in shadows, so I had to be careful as I moved down one, and up another. The houses and shops all loomed above me dark and silent. The town slept.
The town had to be a cat burglar's heaven. While the residents locked up the ground floor shops, the upper floor living quarters' windows remained open to get the night breezes. The very poor lived in single-floor homes, and their ground floor windows also remained open at night. The pig brothers were very poor, at least before they robbed us blind.
A dog started barking. I froze, looking all around before I found him sticking his head out a second story window. Stupid dog woke up every dog on the street, and they all started barking. I hurried away before someone decided to check out why the dog barked.
I managed to find the pig brothers' one story house without further incident.
"You lucky bastards," I whispered, staring at the open windows. "You boys get to enjoy my company two nights in a row. A blessing indeed."
Sneaking up to an open window, I listened in and heard their snoring. Unable to sleep, I'd listened to that racket all of the previous night. Daccor snored the loudest and most obnoxiously. So after double checking no one was watching me, I slipped through the window into the house. I found it even darker inside, so I had to wait for my eyes to adjust.
I carefully, quietly, placed two logs on the fire. When the flames started licking at them, ruddy light filled the single room and illuminated my targets sleeping along the back wall.
Zzziipp.
The sound of my sword coming out of its sheath woke all three. Their eyes looked huge in the dim firelight as they stared up at death personified. And I felt like a very grim reaper at that moment.
Their piggish eyes started searching out weapons close at hand. After the previous night's fight, I doubted I could defeat them quietly enough, if at all. Three against one did not bode well for me, so I inventoried my sword and pulled out my bow and arrows. Uath sucked in a sharp breath.
"I can kill all three of you in five heartbeats. So if any of you cry out for help, or attack me, I'll slay you all," I said, eyes narrowing. They kept their mouths shut. Encouraging. "I came here for two things, neither of which is your pathetic lives. Cooperate, and you live. Otherwise… Let's just say you gave me good reason to kill you."
"Wh-What do you want?" Daccor asked.
"Good question. The right question," I said, taking a step closer. "But first, I want you, Uath, to bind your brothers' hands behind their backs. Now."
Better safe than sorry.
The youngest brother looked miserable. I wouldn't allow him to stand, so he had to crawl across the room to fetch rope. Then I supervised him binding their wrists, before forcing him to tie their ankles together. Then I ordered him face-down on the floor, and bound his wrists behind his back. After I secured his feet, I dragged them to the middle of the room, side-by-side.
My smile didn't give them any comfort. When I placed the blade of a butcher knife in the fire, they looked downright terrified.
"Okay, boys, I know the names of the pigmen who bought my friends, but I need directions to their homes."
Daccor looked at me in horror, then looked at the knife heating up in the fire.
"The mayor lives on the square, in the big tri-level house on the north side," he said.
What they considered a "tri-level" house differed from my definition, but I understood he meant a three-story home. Though, I'd been held for many hours in that square, I didn't recall a single structure. I had other concerns at the time.
"Are there any other buildings on the square as large that might confuse me?"
"No, it's the biggest and grandest in town," Uath said. "He's very rich."
I nodded. Not necessarily good news. The rich could afford better security.
"Where does Master Xarcarius live?"
"He lives two blocks north from Lord Mayor Riccar, on Coach Street," Groak said.
Daccor spoke up, "You can't miss it. It has a round tower."
"Tower?"
Uath nodded, "Yes. He's a salt merchant."
That explained it. Salt was that world's most expensive and desired "spice." The fact they could use it to preserve food helped. "Richer than a salt merchant" was a common expression. But how rich could a small town's salt merchant be?
"Now, where did you hide the stuff you stole from our inventories?"
That made them hesitate. Greedy bastards. Something worrisome entered their darting, mercenary eyes. Idiots.
I went over and pulled the knife out of the fire. It wasn't red hot yet, but hot enough.
"If I get all of our treasure back, you boys get to keep your most treasured treasure." I went to Daccor, pulled out his junk, and took a firm hold of his cock and balls, "I can't guarantee this blade is hot enough to cauterize the wound, but do you really want to live after I cut off your manhood?"
Not only did Daccor squeal, but Uath did as well. I really expected old mercenaries like Daccor and Groak to be tougher than that.
"I'll talk! Anything you want!"
They had our "loot" stashed all over the damned place. Who knew such a small room could have so many hidey-holes? I even got my Gold Notes back, which honestly surprised me. Yep, those pigboys were eager to help.
Finding my enchanted Shield of Isis filled me with the warm fuzzies. Retrieving that item alone made all my efforts worthwhile. I stashed it back in my inventory.
While I knew I got everything from my inventory back, I couldn't guarantee the same for Kahlan's and Meike's. I did get back everything I knew about, and a few other things. Also, I took the contents of their purses, including what they earned by selling us.
Fourteen gold crowns plus is a nice sum to make up for all they put us through.
After I had all I came for, I gagged them by stuffing old socks in their mouths, and tying another cloth around their heads, over their mouths, to keep it inside. Then I stood them up, threw ropes over the rafters, and slipped nooses around their necks. I tightened the ropes just enough to force them to stand, but not enough to choke them.
"You just have to stay awake, and upright, until discovered by your friends and neighbors in the morning," I said. Then I cut off all of their clothes. "That's for selling us into slavery, you pigs."
I found a piece of parchment, and wrote, "Don't mess with Amazons."
I left the note at their feet, for everyone to see. And that's how I left them.
Elky
Despite their predicament, one of the brothers loudly sighed in relief when I left. At least I allowed them to live, and with all their body parts. I really wanted to kill them, but my conscience wouldn't allow me to murder anyone in cold blood.
Using my map, I worked my way toward the town square. The map showed City Guard patrols as yellow dots, not enemy red dots, so I avoided discovery. It also showed me there were no perimeter guards around the Lord Mayor's home, but I noticed quite a bit of activity around the merchant's place. So I went to check that out first. Besides, Meike would be helpful rescuing Kahlan, while Kahlan was no help at all in a fight.
I found saddled horses, six sedan chairs, and three coaches on the streets around the salt merchant's home. Magic globes affixed to the walls illuminated the two-story stone structure, including its three-story tower. Servants and men-at-arms waited outside with their rich patrons' transportation.
"A party?" I muttered. "I bet it's a come look at my new sorceress slave party. Bastards."
I couldn't fight my way through all of the pigmen standing out front, so I circled around back. I found the kitchen door wide open, but guarded by a pair of pigmen soldiers. Cooks and serving wenches filed in and out, mostly carrying buckets of garbage to dump down a hole at the end of the alley.
"The serving girls are mostly human?" I said, and grinned.
I did notice several holstaurus females, a drow maid, and a very dark brown elfmaid. The five holstaurus girls were interesting, since I'd never seen one before. They were related to the minotaur, but mixed the cow and human parts differently. Their heads and faces looked human, but with small horns curling up out of their hair. They had large, lactating breasts, and their milk was legendary for its invigorating effects. Players said drinking their milk had the same effect as taking speed IRL. And their lower bodies were more bovine, legs ending in hoofs instead of feet.
All of them, not just the holstaurus girls, wore collars with small clanking cowbells.
I waited for a blonde serving wench to come down the alley. Maid of easy virtue hovered above her head. We were only thirty feet from the door and guards, so I had to be careful. Waiting for her to dump the first of two buckets down the hole, I reached out and slapped a hand over her mouth when she turned to pick up the second.
Yanking her straight back into the shadows, I quickly applied a sleeper hold. The poor thing went limp within seconds. I felt bad, but still stripped off her outfit. I inventoried everything, before pulling on her skimpy clothes. I hated it, but I buckled on the collar and cowbell. Then I bound and gagged her, stuffing her unconscious body in a dark corner. Only then did I pick up the full bucket and dump it down the hole.
The guards didn't give me a second looked when I strode confidently through the kitchen door. I found organized chaos inside. Cooks barked orders, while tending pots and pans over wood burning stoves. Servants, both male and female, wended all through the kitchen staff, collecting food and drinks. I dropped off the buckets, picked up a tray of sweetmeats, and followed another serving wench out into a great hall.
Wealthy pigmen reclined Roman style on couches. Most had beautiful human, elf, or drow women in translucent dancing silks tending to their every desire. Others were partaking of the holstaurus girls' milk-laden boobs. I averted my eyes from them. Too much.
I looked for, but found no players among the attendees. That was a relief. I didn't have to worry about anyone reading the script above my head and sounding the alarm.
It took me all of ten seconds to locate Meike. Even more surprising, Kahlan shared a couch with Lord Mayor Riccar ten feet to the elfmaid's right, wearing nothing but a pair of black heels. Kahlan snuggled with, and hand fed her master treats, while the elven sorceress looked calm and serene standing next to her master, Xarcarius, dressed in an elaborate bright green gown. Yeah, both wore a silver collar around their neck. I struggled to keep the scowl off my face.
I circled the room, offering wealthy pigmen sweet meats. Almost every one of them took one, and more often than not used it to lure me close enough to cop a feel of my boobs. I suppressed my rage, smiled, and continued my circuit around.
I silently debated my options. I remembered when the Red Knights captured and collared me, and how I attacked Cormac and Meike on Lord Quinton's orders. No hesitation. Meike had been one of the Red Knights' slaves as well, and used her magic against Cormac until he got the collar off her. I had to assume both Meike's and Kahlan's master had commanded them to defend.
Men-at-arms stood guard all around the room. They stayed near their employers, looking relaxed and most enjoying some meat and beer. All, save two, were pigman. The Lord Mayor had a minotaur and half-orc guarding him. Those two worried me the most.
My heart began to race as I drew closer to my friends and their masters. I only had one shot. If I failed, I would rejoin them in slavery. On top of that, I had to do it without getting either one of them killed.
I could sure use Cormac's help right now.
I suppressed thoughts about Cormac. I couldn't think about him until I saved my friends. He would expect me to save them first, and might not forgive me if I abandoned them. I knew I couldn't forgive myself if I did so.
I tried to act natural, friendly and passively accepting of the rude and crude treatment the guests heaped upon me. Copping a feel on me usually earned you a kick in the nuts, if not a blade through your heart. So keeping the smile on my face, I thought of creative ways to detach their genitalia from their bodies as they continued to touch me inappropriately.
"Sweet meat, master?" I asked Xarcarius, extending my tray.
He looked at my selection with hungry eyes. I waited for his fat, bejeweled fingers to scoop up four treats, before I turned to stand face-to-face with Meike. Her eyes widened, half a second before I slammed the platter of treats in her face.
I dropped low and kicked the elven sorceress's feet away at the same time, before pouncing atop her. The elfmaid went down with an undignified squawk. I was all over her a second later, straddling her chest and using my legs to hold her arms down. My hands went straight to her throat, while I saw guards lunging toward me from all directions. But I had to focus.
Finding the latch, I unfastened the pure silver collar, pulled it away, and threw it at the closest armed man. Knowing Meike had freewill again, I rolled off and pulled all my arms and armor out of inventory. That included the Shield of Isis.
"Die!" the half-orc shouted, bringing a steel khopesh sword down at me.
I lifted the enchanted shield to defect. The oddly curved sword hit the shield, and magic propelled it back violently. The sword flew from the warrior's hand, bounced off the wall behind him, and went clattering through the vast hall. I didn't give him time to recover, thrusting my sword into his right upper arm. His armor meant I couldn't get a quick kill, so I went with disable.
It proved enough, but Master Xarcarius' two pigman guards charged toward me. I barely had time to turn and present my shield to them, when the minotaur loomed up behind me. He shouted a battle cry, his axe raised high. I thought I was going to die, but Meike spoke a short phrase.
Purple tendrils erupted from her hands, tangled themselves around the minotaur's legs, and she brutally yanked him off his feet. Then the redheaded elfmaid whipped him around, bashing him on the wall twice, before swinging him like a baseball back and swatting the two pigmen threatening me.
Chaos ensued.
I quickly located Kahlan laying on the floor, her master trying to drag her away by the hand. She looked dazed. Did someone strike her? Anger flashed within, and I charged the Lord Mayor. He squealed, released her, and ran for his life. The rotund pigman proved slow, but when I started after him, Kahlan reached out and grabbed my leg.
"Leave him alone!" she snarled.
"Meike!" I called. "Help."
I didn't want to fight Kahlan, so we double-teamed the healer. I held her down while the sorceress removed her collar
. Then I threw Kahlan over my shoulder and headed for the kitchen. All of the guests fled toward the main entrance, with their guards going with them.
Well, not all of their guards.
"Burn!" Meike yelled, and sent out a ring of fire from us. The armed pigmen screamed as they stopped to slap at their burning clothes. I led the way, with the sorceress guarding my back. Kahlan started kicking and screaming halfway through the kitchen, so I put her down.
"I'm not helpless," she snapped, and her white priestess dress reappeared around her.
I led them out the kitchen door. I wanted to go left, but cowering serving wenches and kitchen staff blocked the way. So I turned right, while pulling up my map to find a different route to the town walls.
Bells began tolling. I heard angry shouts in every direction, but I kept my head down and ran. Kahlan kept up, despite wearing a dress. The elfmaid was the fastest of us all, so she even threw a few fireballs without breaking stride.
"Holy crap," I said, dropping to one knee. "There must be twenty of the fuckers up there."
Armed and armored pigmen stood guard on the catwalk, with more down on the street. We had to fight our way through them, find a ladder or stairs up to the catwalk, and jump over to the other side. Without getting our sweet round asses killed.
Didn't look good.
"Stay close," Meike whispered. "Kahlan stay close on my left, Elky on my right. We'll charge the wall, and when I say 'now' grab hold of me with all your strength."
"What are you going to do?" I asked.
"I have enough mana for my levitation spell to lift us up and over," she said. "There may be a rough landing on the other side."
She took off running. We struggled to keep up, and she charged far deeper into the soldiers than I thought safe, but then she shouted.
"Now!"
We grabbed hold, and it felt like I became weightless. Meike propelled us up and over the wall, while pigmen shouted in frustration. I might have laughed. Then we hit the ground, in pitch darkness, and tumbled downhill.
