by Clare Flynn
‘Thank you so much, Miss Helston. That little book will be an absolute godsend.’
‘And there are many compensations to living in Penang. The beaches are beautiful. And it’s cooler up in the hills. People enjoy living standards that are much higher here than they’d have in England. And the flowers and plants are stunning.’ She leaned forward. ‘Have you been up to Penang Hill?’
Evie shook her head. ‘I haven’t really been anywhere yet. Just short walks around George Town. I’m finding the heat exhausting.’
‘You’ll soon acclimatise. And up on the Hill it’s much cooler. Maybe we could go together. There’s a little train to take you up. The views are stunning. You can see the whole island.’
They arranged to meet the following week. As Evie and a reluctant Jasmine were leaving, Miss Helston said, ‘And please call me Mary.’
‘I’m Evie.’
They shook hands and Mary’s face beamed with pleasure. ‘I’m so pleased to have met you, Evie.’
Mary Helston had not exaggerated about the panoramic views from Penang Hill, which turned out not to be a single hill but a whole series of them. When they got off the funicular railway, Evie saw George Town laid out below them. Beyond the town was the narrow stretch of water which separated them from the mainland, and a cluster of small islands. The view across the Straits to the Kedah Peak took Evie’s breath away. The crystal waters of the Straits were speckled with fishing boats, and the mainland was draped with the pale silvery green of distant paddy fields. She gazed out across the panorama and decided she had never seen anything so beautiful. All around them they heard the ceaseless susurration of cicadas and the trilling of birds. Even the trees were explosions of colour. Tulip trees – the flames of the forest – framed the views with their vibrant orange flowers like upturned claws. Evie wished she were a painter.
Mary told her the area had been developed by the British colonial settlers, seeking a refuge from the blistering heat of George Town.
In the shade of the tall hardwood trees, they ate the little savouries and slices of cake that Aunty Mimi had prepared for them. Mary pointed out landmarks and told Evie how the funicular railway had only opened fifteen years earlier. Before that, if someone wanted to get up here they had to climb up – unless, like the wealthy British and Chinese, they could afford to pay for half a dozen coolies to bring them up in a sedan chair.
They chatted for a while, Evie fascinated to hear about the history of the settlement. After some time, a lull in the conversation encouraged her to ask the question that had been on her mind.
‘Do you know the Leightons?’ she asked, certain of the answer. ‘Veronica and Arthur.’
Mary’s lips stretched tightly. ‘Everyone knows them.’
A brief silence followed and Evie was thinking perhaps she shouldn’t have raised the subject, when Mary continued. ‘May I be frank?’
‘I’d expect nothing less.’
‘He’s all right. In fact he’s rather a good egg. But she’s not someone I like at all. In fact, I loathe Veronica Leighton with every fibre of my being.’ She brushed an insect off her skirt.
‘Well, that’s a relief. You’re not alone in that. I can’t bear her either.’
Mary frowned. ‘If I were you, I’d give her a very wide berth. She’s poisonous.’
‘I must admit when I first met her, in London, I was awed by her, but now, I’ve realised there’s nothing admirable about her. I’ve always made it a rule to look for the best in everyone and I tried to find it in Veronica but I’ve failed. And I think she despises me.’ Evie gave a rueful sigh. ‘But, you see, Arthur Leighton is a close friend of my husband, so avoiding Veronica is impossible. She turns up at the house without warning. She bosses me about. Makes me feel stupid and inadequate.’
‘No one can make you feel that way, Evie. Not unless you choose to let them. Don’t let her get under your skin.’
‘Easy to say.’ She looked up at the sky, a spread of blue, unbroken by clouds. ‘Veronica was best friends with Felicity and takes every opportunity to tell me how fabulous Felicity was and by implication how decidedly unfabulous I am.’
Mary made a little snorting sound. ‘Best friends? Hardly. Veronica Leighton collects people then discards them. Felicity Barrington included. Everyone’s terrified of Veronica so they all suck up to her. But I doubt anyone actually likes her. And that will have gone for Felicity too.’
Evie told her how she had overheard Veronica and her coterie talking about her in the ladies’ powder room at the Penang Club, but omitted the details of what had been said. ‘It was humiliating. So personal. Venomous.’
‘I told you. She’s poison. So what did you do?’
‘I came out of the cubicle and made my presence known.’
Mary laughed. ‘Good for you. I bet that shut them up and made them squirm.’
‘I was shaking like a leaf, but I was jolly well determined not to skulk inside a lavatory cubicle while they performed a character assassination on me. But I wasn’t going to stay there and be forced to socialise with any of them. So I went home.’ Evie wasn’t ready to confess that she’d left alone. It would be too humiliating and personal to admit, even to Mary, that her husband had abandoned her on their wedding day.
‘Poor you. At least that got her out of your hair?’
‘Not a bit of it. Veronica’s far too brazen for that. She turned up at the house the following morning, bold as brass.’
Mary touched her lightly on the arm. ‘I’m going to tell you something that I never speak of to anyone. It’s very painful, but I want you to know the story so you’ll understand just exactly what Veronica Leighton is capable of.’
‘You can trust me.’
‘I was engaged to be married. His name was Ralph Fletcher and he worked for one of the big rubber companies on an estate on the mainland near Ipoh. We met when he was playing in a cricket match here in Penang. I fell for him immediately – he was handsome, funny, athletic, popular. I was thrilled to bits when he made it clear he was attracted to me too.’ Her voice wavered. ‘We were going together for about six months when he asked me to marry him. I didn’t hesitate.’
Evie listened in silence, conscious of Mary’s evident pain.
‘For me, the idea of marrying a planter was a dream come true. Ralph worked for one of the biggest rubber companies in the Straits and he was doing well. His job meant he had to move from time to time to a different estate, sometimes to cover for a chap on long leave, sometimes because he was promoted. Ralph was a rising star. He was in shared accommodation – so we agreed to wait until he became assistant manager somewhere and he’d get his own bungalow on an estate. There’s always been an expectation by the rubber companies that their male European employees should be bachelors and stay that way for at least two or three years. There are relatively few single European women out here and so the men, when they get their long leave at home, tend to spend their time in Britain hunting for a prospective wife willing to come out here.’
Mary’s words put Douglas’s offer of marriage into context for Evie.
Mary continued, ‘I hated the thought of a long engagement, but we didn’t really have a choice. We both agreed he’d give the job priority while he learned everything about rubber and climbed up the ladder.’ She touched the third finger of her left hand, evidently conscious of the absence of the ring which must once have been there.
‘At the weekends, Ralph played cricket and rugby, so he was over here on the island for matches at least once a month or I’d go over to the mainland and watch him play if it was reasonably close and someone could give me a lift. And we both loved to swim.’
Evie began to wonder where all this was leading, but listened intently.
‘Ralph got a big promotion and was moved to a plantation near Kuala Lumpur. We decided we could set the date for the wedding.’ She closed her eyes and clenched her hands into tight fists.
‘If Veronica Leighton hadn’t stepped in and wreck
ed it all, I’d have been married. Perhaps we’d have started a family. Ralph always said he wanted children. Three or four of them. ’ Her voice broke. ‘Sorry, Evie. Talking about this is still so painful even though it was years ago.’
‘I can imagine.’ She took Mary’s hand and squeezed it gently.
‘When Veronica Leighton wants something she has to have it, regardless of whether it belongs to someone else. That goes for men too. She decided she wanted Ralph. He didn’t stand a chance. He must have known she had a terrible reputation. Affairs right, left and centre.’
‘Does Arthur know about the affairs?’
‘He must do. She doesn’t exactly keep them secret. But she always goes back to him. Every man she picks up she drops in the end.’
‘Is that what happened to Ralph?’
‘More or less. Once she’d seduced him and got him eating out of her hand. She was only interested in the chase, then she was ready to move onto her next victim. Apparently, it all started at some “do” at the istana of the Sultan of Selangor. I was in blissful ignorance. Ralph’s letters had become less frequent but I put it down to the pressure of work and the responsibilities of his new job. Then he came to see me. Completely out of the blue.’
Mary stared ahead into the distance, evidently reliving the scene. ‘He turned up at our house. Led me out into the garden.’ Her voice wobbled. ‘I could see Mum and Dad watching at the window. Mum must have guessed what was coming from Ralph’s face when she let him in.’
Mary took a big ragged breath. ‘He didn’t beat about the bush. He came straight out and told me he had fallen in love with Veronica Leighton, that she was leaving Arthur and once her divorce came through he was going to marry her.’ Mary closed her eyes. ‘I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was so out of character for Ralph. He said he was sorry, that he didn’t want to hurt me, but his mind was made up.’
Mary thumped her fist down on the bench. ‘It was like a bad dream. I pleaded with him – at that point I thought we could find a way through the mess. I thought he’d eventually come to his senses. After all, Veronica was more than ten years older than him. I convinced myself it was just a flirtation that had gone too far. Until he told me that to all intents and purposes they were already man and wife, that they’d…’ She gave a little sob. ‘You see…he and I…we’d never… We’d decided to wait until we were married.’
Mary bit her lip. Evie put her arms around her.
Pulling away, Mary continued, staring ahead at of her and avoiding Evie’s eyes. ‘I was completely shattered. My whole world crashed in around me, my entire future destroyed. I couldn’t believe that this was the man I had loved more than anyone or anything, sitting there in my garden telling me these horrible things. It still hurts when I think about that day. All these years later.’
‘Oh, Mary. It must have been devastating.’
‘You can guess what happened next.’
‘She went back to Arthur?’
‘She never actually left Arthur. As soon as Ralph told her he’d broken off our engagement, she dropped him. All she’d wanted was to take him away from me. To prove that she could. To destroy what we had. That’s what she craves. Winning. Vanquishing anyone in her path.’
Mary leaned back against the tree, drawing her knees up close to her, continuing to keep her eyes fixed on the far horizon. ‘I’m sure having affairs with good looking men is part of it. But the real pleasure for Veronica Leighton is in wrecking other people’s relationships. She never goes near men who are unattached, no matter how good-looking. But, for some unfathomable reason, men never learn.’ She let out a long sigh. ‘They’re so vain. They all think it will be different in their case. Veronica’s very good at convincing them of that.’
‘Did Ralph try to win you back?’
‘He knew better than that. He knew I’d never trust him again.’ She wiped her eyes again. ‘I think he genuinely was in love with her. He must have been, because he gave it all up. A promising career. A good salary. A life he loved.’
‘Did he go back to England?’
‘No.’
‘So he’s still in Malaya?’
She took a gulp of air. ‘He killed himself.’
Evie gasped. ‘Oh my goodness. How terrible. Oh, Mary, that’s dreadful.’
‘He hanged himself.’ At last, she looked at Evie. ‘So now you know exactly why I loathe Veronica Leighton.’
‘How on earth did you go on? You must have been crushed.’ Evie shook her head, shocked to the core by her new friend’s story.
‘I thought of leaving Penang. But where would I go? I’ve never been to England. I suppose I could have gone somewhere else in the Straits Settlement but I’d hate to leave my parents – we’ve always been a close family and after what happened they were the only reason I kept going. They helped me through it all. No, I prefer to stay here – although there are some places that are too painful for me to go to anymore such as the Penang Swimming Club where Ralph and I spent so many happy times together.’
Mary stared into the middle distance, and Evie could see she was still on the verge of tears. ‘It’s inevitable that I come across Veronica Leighton sometimes, so when I do, I look straight at her, until she has to look away. It’s a battle of wills I will never lose – I fix my eyes on her to remind her of the evil she has done. One day she’ll burn in hell for that I hope.’
‘Maybe one day you’ll meet someone else. Someone worthy of you, Mary.’
‘That won’t happen. I’m fully reconciled to spinsterhood. I would never trust another man.’ She pulled her shoulders back. ‘It’s not so terrible. I love teaching. I love the kids. There are much worse lives than mine.’
8
Evie had no idea how long Douglas had been sitting on the side of her bed, watching her. As she became aware of his presence, her first emotion was relief. He’d come back. He hadn’t abandoned her. He was still her husband. These thoughts were rapidly followed by the realisation why he was there – that all he wanted of her was to give him a child. No doubt in a few minutes he would begin doing again the thing he’d done to her last time, causing her pain, while at the same time reinforcing her loneliness. There was no point getting upset – she’d signed up for this with her eyes open. Douglas hadn’t lied to her; he’d always made it clear exactly where the cards fell. She could have walked away. She’d chosen not to do so.
‘What’s the time?’ she asked.
‘Just before eleven. I wasn’t sure you were awake.’
‘I am now.’ She pushed her resentment away and added, ‘Are you joining me?’
Douglas said nothing, but quickly removed his silk dressing gown, letting it fall in a heap on the floor. He was naked and she averted her eyes as he got into the bed beside her.
This time, although what he did to her was devoid of any tenderness and gave her no pleasure, it was mercifully less painful. When he’d finished, he rolled off her and she realised he intended to go back to his bedroom, back to what she thought of as his shrine to Felicity. ‘Don’t go,’ she said, grabbing his arm. ‘Stay here with me tonight.’
He grunted, but didn’t move from the bed. ‘I thought you’d be more comfortable on your own. Cooler.’
‘No. I’d like you to stay. Please.’ She bit her lip. She ought to feel humiliated having to ask him like that, but she didn’t. She felt defiant. Stronger.
They lay in the dark, side-by-side, divided by silence. Evie hated the way – even after what they’d just done, after the shocking intimacy of the act – he closed himself off from her, cloaking himself in a wordless concealment she couldn’t penetrate. She swallowed. Her stomach felt hollow.
What did she have to lose? The worst he could do was ignore her. If she didn’t try to get through to him now it would be too late. She’d end up in years to come with a husband who came to her bed every couple of weeks, ignoring her the rest of the time.
If she were able to give him the child he wanted, wouldn’t that make
a difference? But that might mean he wouldn’t come to her at all. She’d be no different from Aunty Mimi – a servant – just the amah to his children. No. She had to keep trying to break through to him.
Her voice sounded over-loud, echoing hollowly in the darkness of the room. ‘Jasmine seems happy at her new school. It’s bringing her out of her shell. Her teacher is delighted with her progress.’
A grunt.
‘Don’t you care?’
‘Of course I care.’ The mattress shifted as he rolled onto his side. To her relief she realised it was to face her, not turn his back. ‘I’m just tired. Do you have any idea how exhausting that can be for a man? And I’m not as young as I was.’ Even in the darkness she sensed he was smiling.
‘Oh,’ she said, taken aback. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t apologise. I’m glad Jasmine is settling in and that you two are getting along.’ He paused, adding in a softer tone. ‘She needs a mother.’
‘I’ve become fond of her. And I hope she’s getting used to me.’
‘Why do you do that?’
‘Do what?’
‘Run yourself down, make yourself smaller?’
‘I don’t know what you mean.’
‘You admit you’ve become fond of her but only that she is “getting used to you”. Why not say you’ve become fond of each other? I’m sure that’s true. Aunty Mimi seems to think so.’
‘Really?’ Evie felt a rush of pleasure at his words.
‘Yes. Really. But you haven’t answered my question.’
She didn’t know how to answer it. It had taken her by surprise. ‘I don’t know.’ Hesitating, she added, ‘It’s just a manner of speaking.’ She gave a little forced laugh. ‘I suppose I don’t want to count my chickens and all that. Jasmine’s just a child and she might change her feelings… I mean…’
‘Don’t complicate things. She’s fond of you. Leave it at that.’
Evie didn’t know how to respond, so decided not to. She was shocked at what he had said. It had shown a perceptiveness she hadn’t expected from him. He was actually paying attention. Maybe he was right, and she did run herself down. All the years of her mother doing it for her had caused her to assume the worst and do it to herself first. And more recently, Veronica Leighton had worn away what was left of her self-respect like sandpaper scraping on soft wood.
