But that was over and done with now, and there was no way to rectify the mistakes of the past. She could only go forward, and hope it wasn’t too late to make a new beginning with her daughters.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Dani soon discovered that Sanza was a man of his word. When she didn’t work, she didn’t eat. It was all she could do to keep from vomiting the first time she skinned a rabbit, and yet she found a grim satisfaction in her accomplishment. Marty would have been proud of her! Sanza brought her birds to pluck and clean, and finally a deer to butcher. She didn’t think she would ever be able to do it without gagging. She knew Marty would have done it without flinching, and so she clenched her teeth and pretended to be Marty. When she finished, Dani again felt a rush of satisfaction she had never felt before, and with it a newfound confidence in herself.
Sanza taught her how to tan the deer’s hide, how to make ash cakes and jerky, how to start a fire and keep it going.
One morning, shortly after breakfast, he told her he was going hunting alone.
“You’re going to leave me here?” she asked.
He nodded, his dark eyes thoughtful. “Will you be here when I return?”
She looked at him as if he had gone mad. “Where would I go?”
“I will have your promise that you will not run away,” he said.
“I promise.”
“It is good.” His hand lightly stroked her cheek, sending shivers of delight coursing all the way down to her toes.
She fought back her fears when she saw him ride away, taking her horse with him. As a pack animal, she wondered, or to ensure that she didn’t try to escape?
There was little to do while he was gone. She moved through their camp, straightening the blankets, rearranging their few cooking utensils, her gaze constantly searching for his return. If something happened to him, she would die out here, lost and alone.
Sitting in the shade, she wondered why she hadn’t told Sanza she wanted to go home when he had asked. It was, after all, what she wanted, yet the thought of leaving him left her feeling desolate.
She couldn’t hide her relief or her elation when he returned late that afternoon.
She tried not to notice the way his muscles rippled beneath his copper-hued skin when he moved, tried to ignore the way her heart skipped a beat whenever he looked her way. She resented the way her body yearned for him whenever he was near, the way her pulse raced whenever their bodies touched.
She knew that he was just as aware of her as she was of him. She saw the desire ignite in his eyes whenever he looked at her. And he looked at her often.
She had lost track of time. Her days were filled with tasks she had once found repulsive but that now filled her with a sense of accomplishment. She had never worked so hard in her life. She was exhausted when she sought her bed at night, but she was unable to sleep. Instead, she tossed and turned, and when sleep finally came, her dreams were filled with erotic images of the man who slept across the fire from her.
How could she want him so badly when she was supposed to be in love with Cory? Guilt seared her soul. She often went hours, sometimes a full day, without even thinking of him. Was it possible she had never truly loved him? Was that why his kisses had never excited her, why she had never yearned for him the way a woman yearned for the man she loved?
Now, curled up in her blankets, she tried to summon Cory’s image, but to no avail. Every time she closed her eyes, Sanza’s image filled her mind—deep black eyes, long black hair, corded muscles beneath smooth copper skin, strong shoulders, a broad chest, full, sensual lips…
Thinking of his mouth on hers made her heart beat faster. Heat flowed through her, pooling deep in the core of her being, making her toss restlessly as she imagined him kissing her again, his hands caressing her. Her hands caressing him…
She sat up, one hand pressed to her heart. It was wrong, she thought frantically, wrong to feel this way about him. He was an Apache, her enemy. He had kidnapped her…and yet he had treated her kindly. He could have beaten her when she ran away, or just let her go. She would probably have died of thirst, or exposure, or exhaustion long before she found her way home, if she ever did.
She glanced across the fire, startled to find Sanza sitting up and staring back at her. She couldn’t see his expression in the darkness, but she felt the weight of his gaze on her face.
“I…I couldn’t sleep,” she stammered.
He nodded. “For me it is the same.”
“Oh? Why can’t you sleep?”
He didn’t answer right away. Rising, he tossed a few pieces of wood on the fire. He stood there, staring into the flames for stretched seconds. Flames licked at the new wood, casting reddish-orange shadows on Sanza’s face and in his hair. He looked dark and forbidding and all too desirable standing there. Her heart seemed to turn over in her chest, and she was sorely tempted to go to him, to press herself against his back, to wrap her arms around his waist and hold him close.
As if divining her thoughts, he turned to look at her. Dani’s breath caught in her throat as his gaze locked with hers. As though mesmerized, she stared back at him, unable to move, unable to think. His gaze moved over her, so strong, so intense, it was almost tangible. She shivered as she imagined his hands touching her in place of his gaze.
She grew still as he walked around the fire, closing the distance between them.
“Da-ni.”
She looked up at him, speechless, her blood pounding in her ears.
Slowly he dropped to his knees in front of her. “Da-ni.”
“Wh-what?”
“Will you be my woman?”
She stared at him, wondering if she had heard right. Be his woman? What did he mean by that? Surely not what she was thinking. Surely not what she wanted so desperately.
“Have you no answer?”
“I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what you mean.”
A faint smile touched his lips. “Did I not speak clearly?”
“Are you asking me to…to sleep with you?”
“Sleep?” He considered that a moment, a frown furrowing his brow.
“You know…” Heat flooded her cheeks. “Sleep. Together.”
“Ah. That would be part of it.”
“Part of it?”
“I want you to share my wickiup. Be my woman. Bear my children.”
She opened her mouth, but no words came out. He was asking her to be his wife! How could she marry him? She was promised to Cory.
“I know you want me in the way a woman wants a man,” Sanza said, his voice thick. “I have seen the way you look at me.”
Dani shook her head, as if to refute his words. “You’re an Indian. We can’t get married. Who would marry us?” She shook her head again. “No. No, I can’t. Besides, I have a boyfriend.”
Sanza frowned at her. “You cannot be my woman because you have a friend who is a boy?”
“He’s not just a friend. We’re going to be married.”
Sanza’s lips flattened and something dark and dangerous moved through his eyes. “No one else will have you, Da-ni. You will be mine.”
“Oh, I will, will I?” she exclaimed belligerently. “What if I don’t want to be yours?”
Lifting his hand, he ran his fingertips down her arm. Shivers of delight trailed in their wake. Slowly, ever so slowly, he leaned toward her until they were less than a breath apart.
“Do you not?” he asked softly.
And then he kissed her.
Every other thought fled her mind. It didn’t matter that he was an Apache and she was white. It didn’t matter that he lived in a brush hut and she was accustomed to a big house. She forgot about Marty and Cory, forgot everything but his mouth on hers.
She clutched his shoulders to steady herself, reveling in the strength beneath her fingertips, in the heat of his skin, the way he quivered at her touch.
“Sanza…”
His eyes burned into hers. “Be my woman, Da-ni.”
“How do your people get married?”
“When a warrior wishes to take a wife, he speaks to his family and requests their permission. When that is done, he sends his father or his brother to speak to the girl’s parents. When that is done, the warrior sends gifts to the girl and her family, and then he offers horses for her. In the night, the warrior takes as many horses as he can afford and ties them in front of the girl’s wickiup. The number of horses he offers expresses his wealth and his love for the girl he desires. If the girl feeds and waters the horses, it means she has accepted his offer. She is allowed four days to decide.”
He smiled faintly. “Most girls do not care for the animals on the first day. If the animals remain uncared for by the fourth day, the warrior knows he has been rejected.
“If he is accepted, there is a wedding feast that lasts for three days. During this time, the warrior and his woman are not allowed to speak to each other, but on the third night they run away from the feast to a temporary wickiup located not far from the main camp.”
“For their honeymoon,” Dani murmured, blushing.
“Six or seven days later, the couple returns to the camp.” He looked deep into her eyes. “Be my woman, Da-ni.”
“Aren’t you going to bring me horses?”
“I have many horses at the stronghold,” he said, puffing out his chest. “They are yours. Will you accept them?”
“If I say yes, does that mean we’re married?”
He nodded solemnly. “This will be our special place. When I take you to the stronghold, you will be my woman.”
“What about your people? They’ll hate me.”
“No. They will accept you and treat you with respect.”
Dani bit down on her lower lip. How could she make such a momentous decision on her own? What would Marty do? What would Marty say? How could she marry an Indian? She had always dreamed of getting married in church in a long dress with her family at her side. And what about Cory? How could she ever face him again? What could she possibly say?
She looked into Sanza’s eyes and felt her heart melt. She had tried to hate him, but to no avail. He made her feel exciting and alive. She knew he would take care of her, protect her. With Sanza, she would never have to be afraid of anything, and yet…
As though sensing her doubts, Sanza drew her into his arms and kissed her again.
And her decision was made.
“Yes,” she murmured. “Oh, yes.”
Gently, he pushed her down on her blankets, his big body stretching out beside hers, a faint tremor in his arms as he drew her body against his. She could feel the evidence of his desire pressing into her belly. It aroused her even as it filled her with trepidation. She had never been with a man before, never done more than share a few kisses with Cory, and one unexpected kiss from Ridge Longtree, before Sanza entered her life.
She stared at him, her heart slamming against her ribs. “I don’t know how… I’ve never…never been with a man.”
Sanza looked down at her, his dark eyes filled with patience and love. Tenderly, he brushed a wisp of hair from her cheek. “I have never lain with a woman,” he said. “We will find the path together.”
She nodded, pleased that he was as ignorant as she.
His hands moved over her slowly and she shivered at his touch, pleased and surprised at her body’s response to his caress. Was she supposed to feel this way? No one had ever told her what to expect on her wedding night.
“Do not be afraid,” Sanza whispered. “I will not hurt you.”
“I’m not afraid of anything, not anymore.”
She moaned softly as his hands caressed her. Why hadn’t anyone told her how wonderful it was to lie with a man? But not just any man. She couldn’t imagine anyone but Sanza touching her so intimately, stroking her with such restrained passion. She loved his touch, loved the contrast between his bronzed flesh and her own pale skin.
Taking a deep breath, she began an exploration of her own, letting her fingertips slide over his broad chest and shoulders, then down his long, muscular arms. A low groan rose in his throat as her hands slid downward to caress his taut belly. It was a sound of mingled pleasure and pain, and it brought a smile to Dani’s lips. It gave her a sense of purely female pleasure and power to know that her touch aroused him.
She pressed herself against him, wanting to be closer, to feel the length of his body against her own. He undressed her slowly, his eyes hot with admiration as he bared her body to his gaze. She shivered with pleasure, felt her cheeks grow warm under his blatant regard. He caressed her, his hands gentle, arousing her still more until, suddenly bold, she removed his clout. Her eyes grew wide as she stared at him.
“Oh, my,” she murmured. She had never seen a fully naked man before, let alone one who was aroused. It was an impressive sight!
With a grin that bordered on smug, he drew her into his arms once again. Ah, the wonder, the ecstasy of lying beside him with nothing but desire between them.
She was ready when he rose over her, his dark eyes aflame. A quick thrust, and she was no longer a maiden. She clutched his shoulders at the pain, but it was soon over and forgotten in the ripples of pleasure that spread through her.
Then he was moving deep within her, slow, soft strokes that grew faster, harder, deeper, until she writhed beneath him, reaching, searching, until she thought she might explode, until her body was slick with sweat. She moaned, frantic in her pursuit of something that remained elusive, and then, with one last stroke, pleasure such as she had never imagined broke over her. It was so wonderful, so beautiful, tears welled in her eyes.
Sobbing his name, she closed her eyes and rode the wave back down to earth.
“Da-ni?”
With a sigh, she opened her eyes and stared up into her husband’s face. And then she smiled the smile of a woman who had been well and truly pleasured by the man she loved.
Sanza grinned at her, his chest puffing out. “You are all right?”
“Oh, I’m better than all right,” she said, trailing her fingertips over his sweat-sheened chest.
His grin widened, a look of supreme satisfaction spreading over his face.
“Not bad for the first time,” Dani remarked, then blushed at her own boldness. What a wanton she was becoming!
Sanza grinned down at her. “Perhaps the second time will be better.”
“Second time?”
He nodded, and she felt his erection against her belly. “If I did not please you the first time, then I must do it again.”
Well, she thought, what was she supposed to say to that? If she told him he had pleased her, he might not make love to her again. But if she said he didn’t please her, it might hurt his feelings.
“You pleased me very much. But,” she added quickly, “there’s always room for improvement, don’t you think? For instance, this time I could do this…” Drawing his head down, she ran her tongue along the seam of his lips and then slid past to explore the dark depths inside.
Sanza let out a startled gasp but quickly followed her lead, his clever hands moving over her until she was on fire for him. There was no pain the second time he took her, only waves of pleasure that built and crested, carrying her higher, higher, until the world exploded once more.
Dani rolled onto her side and stared at the man sleeping beside her. She was in love with him, in love with an Apache warrior. How had such a thing happened? What would Marty say when she found out? Would she be shocked? Outraged?
Dani lightly traced the outline of Sanza’s jaw, surprised to find that she no longer cared what her sister, or anyone else, thought. She knew it wouldn’t be easy, learning to live with the Apache. She would have to win their friendship and trust, learn their customs and beliefs and their language. Sanza had already taught her a few words. Ashoge meant “thank you,” gowa’a was the word for “wickiup,” yadalanh meant
“good-bye,” dah was the word for “no”. Shil’nzhoo meant “I love you”. That was her favorite word of all.
“What are you smiling about, wife?”
“I was just thinking how happy I am.” Her gaze moved over him, lingering on his manhood, which was fully aroused. “What are you thinking about, husband?”
She laughed out loud as he rolled her onto her back, his body covering hers. “What do you think I am thinking?”
“Oh, I know what you’re thinking,” she replied with a giggle. “But I’m hungry.”
He nodded solemnly, his dark eyes hot. “I, too, am hungry.”
She looked up at him through the veil of her lashes. “Are you?” She ran her hands over his chest and buttocks, wondering when she had learned to flirt so shamelessly. “What are you hungry for?” she asked, stifling a grin. “Ash cakes, perhaps?”
He made a low growl in his throat as he cradled her head in his hands. All thought of food and flirting fled her mind at the touch of his lips on hers. He kissed her until she was mindless, breathless, her body aching with need. How could she want him again so soon when they had made love all night long? But want him she did.
Her last thought, before being swept away, was to hope that someday Marty would find the happiness she had found.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Marty stared up at the tiny slice of blue sky visible through the smoke hole of the wickiup that she shared with Ridge. This morning marked their ninth day at the Apache stronghold. His wound was healing nicely and he was feeling better, so much so that they had spent the day before watching the final phase of a young girl’s puberty rite, known as Na-ih-es, or the Sunrise Ceremony, something all Apache girls went through when they began their menses.
Marty had found it fascinating and had listened attentively while Ridge explained what was going on.
According to Ridge, the Apache believed that the N’dee, the People, had emerged from the center of the Earth and that their lives had begun when Is dzdn naadleeshe’, or Changing Woman, was washed ashore and emerged from a seashell.
Under Apache Skies Page 16
