by K J Harlow
“So why do you only know–”
Wild Sophie appeared!
Another one! This Sophie looked mostly the same as the first one but she was a little shorter and not as mean. She eyed Yoshi and Starlotte, turning her body towards them.
“Starlotte! Get back!”
“But I–”
Her image flickered before zipping back into her ring. The wild Sophie was now scratching the floor and waving her arms irritably, feathers fluttering to the ground.
Yoshi slid his second ring out, held it at face level then pointed his fist at the wild girlfriend. “Go! Sophie!”
Blue light shot out and formed the outline of Yoshi’s newest girlfriend. It filled in within a second, showing Sophie in her full glory.
“Yo, you called – oh hey!” Yoshi’s Sophie noticed the wild one. “Fancy bumping into you tonight, babe.”
“You were captured?” the wild Sophie asked.
“Captured’s the wrong word. It was more like–”
“Sophie! Use Bird Run!”
She looked back at her trainer. “Do I have to? We’ve been friends since we were chicks…”
“Now!”
Sophie looked apologetically at her friend. “Sorry about this.” She folded her arms into her side and bolted at the wild girlfriend. She collided into her, collected herself then ran back to Yoshi’s side.
Fuck yeah!
“You’re a bit of a dick, you know that?” Sophie quipped.
“Sophie, use Sand Screen!” The wild Sophie had already dusted herself off and was coming at them.
Sophie sighed, backed up then started flapping. The wild Sophie brought her arms to her face and fanned her feathers out.
Sand Screen failed!
The wild one collided into Yoshi’s girlfriend, her HP bar shrinking to 29/34.
“Are you OK?” Yoshi said, moving towards her.
“Yeah, fine. Come on, let’s finish this.” She winced but got up quickly.
“Alright. Use Bird Run!”
The two Sophies exchanged attacks, also taking turns to kick up sand at each other. The other one was no match for Yoshi’s, crumpling into a heap when Sophie landed her fourth Bird Run.
Wild Sophie fainted!
Starlotte has gained 20 EXP!
Starlotte is now Level 6!
Sophie has gained 20 EXP!
“Sorry babe…” Sophie took her hand off her fallen brethren. “Dude, what gives?”
“Hmm?” He was checking out Starlotte’s updated stats:
NAME: Starlotte (Starry)
LEVEL: 6
NATURE: Reserved
TYPE: Interstellar
ACC.: NIL
HP: 28/28
- ATTACK: 3
- DEFENSE: 3
- SPCL ATTACK: 7
- SPCL DEFENSE: 4
- SPEED: 5
MOVESET:
Gaze - Type: Normal 27/30 - PP (Lower defense by staring into opponent’s eyes, stun effect for 3 seconds.)
“You made me fight another Sophie.” She jabbed a finger at the still figure of the wild Sophie.
“That’s going to happen. Besides, didn’t you fight other Sophies before you were captured?”
“Yeah, but not until one of us fainted. We just sparred.”
Yoshi shrugged. “If you’re with me, you’re going to have to do some things that you won’t like doing, like beating up other Sophies.”
She narrowed her eyes at her master. “You’re lucky that I want out of Route 17.”
“I’m not trying to take advantage of you. Well, I am, but not in that way. You volunteered to come along with me. I will make you stronger. If you get stronger, I get stronger.” Man, that came out all wrong. She slipped away at the last second and Yoshi’s arms grasped thin air when he reached out to her.
“How about this: If we come across any more wild Sophies, we’ll escape. We’ll fight everything but Sophies, at least until Starry learns her first offensive move. Then I’ll let her take them on.”
“Are you just planning on grinding in Route 17 until she does that?” Sophie shook her head. “Maybe I should just quit while I’m–”
“No no,” Yoshi said, waving his hands frantically. “We’re leaving Route 17 right now. I need to take her to Onyx and heal her up right now anyway.”
“I was just kidding, yo.” Sophie chortled. “Chillax.”
Yoshi sighed. This definitely wasn’t the start to his girlfriend journey that he envisioned.
4
Onyx
Wild Chippie fainted!
Starlotte has gained 10 EXP!
Starlotte is now Level 8!
Sophie has gained 10 EXP!
“I told you not to knock ‘em out!”
Sophie turned around, cheeks flushed. “Starry can’t get any EXP if I don’t, you assbag!”
Were all girlfriends this unruly? What did it take to get a bit of respect?
“And I appreciate that, but I do want to catch all the girlfriends I can. I can’t do that if you demolish ‘em before I can even try.” She turned away from him but he circled her. The sooner I catch another, the sooner I can spread your workload out.”
Sophie threw her arms open and leered at her master. “Firstly, the stronger I get, the most damage I’ll deal. It’s not my fault if the girlfriends you want to catch are weak. Secondly, I don’t want an easy life. An easy life won’t help me get stronger. I like being out of my comfort zone, which is why I chose to come along with you. Thirdly, I don’t want to help you catch more girlfriends. I’m fine if it’s just me and Starlotte. Shit, if I had it my way, I’d take all the EXP but hey, you’re the boss.”
“You’re right, I’m the boss,” Yoshi said, working his jaw. “And I don’t need a girlfriend who finds it such an ordeal following simple instructions.” Before she had a chance to object, he clasped her wrist and turned her feathered hand up.
“What–?”
“Here’s your ring. Go wherever the hell you want. You’re free.”
Yoshi crossed his arms and stared at his bird girlfriend. The ring glinted in the moonlight. Please don’t go. I need you. He tried to keep his face as straight as possible.
For close to a minute, she gazed at the device that bound her to him.
“Fine.” She took the ring in her other hand and held it between her fingers.“I’ll try and tone down the power, but it’s harder than it looks.”
“Sure.”
For a moment, they locked eyes. For the first time since she decided to be his girlfriend, he saw something other than fire and brimstone in her dark eyes. Sophie was the first to pull away. She lined the ring up over the index finger of her left hand and slid it on. Blue light enveloped her and after a buzz, she retreated back to her ring. Yoshi caught it in his hand and breathed a sigh of relief.
The pimply officer looked at the ID, at Yoshi, then back at the ID again. Yoshi snuck a glance at his watch. 04:37.
“I thought all the trainers from Topaz had already come through.”
He yawned, not trying to hide his tiredness at all. “Yeah well you thought wrong.”
“OK. Well, welcome to Onyx, at any rate.” Yoshi snatched his ID back. “You can have your girlfriends out if you’d like; they are safe here. The only placesyou can battle in here is the Gym. No battling in public.”
“And where do I take my girlfriends to rest and recover?”
The uniformed officer pointed at a wide building with a flashing, neon-pink heart at the top. “Mr. Pampers. Open 24/7 and completely free of charge.”
Thank Frank for that. Yoshi had pooled together all his savings working casual shifts for the local mart in Topaz over the last year, and he still had to borrow some money from Dad to buy his trainer’s bag.
He threaded his fingers into the belt and pulled out the two occupied rings.
“Soph, Starry. Come out.”
He blinked and seconds later, his two girlfriends stood in front of him.
“W-where
are we?” Starry asked groggily.
“Onyx. About time,” Soph quipped. She caught Yoshi’s look and averted her gaze.
Yoshi strode over to his interstellar girlfriend. “Come on. Let’s get you healed up.” He wrapped his arm around back, fingers curling just beneath her right breast. She didn’t seem to notice, or maybe she did but was too tired to care.
“Walk ahead oh fearless one,” Soph said. She came from behind and supported Starlotte from the other side, tugging her away from her trainer.
He glanced at her, nodding slowly. “Nowhere to lead, it’s just the pink heart building right ahead of us.”
Sophie didn’t say anything and tailed her master as he shuffled towards the center. The neon sign grew in size and Yoshi covered his eyes with a hand. Wow, they don’t make it hard to miss, do they?
There was a comforting beep and the automatic doors slid open. “What the f–” If he thought the neon sign was bright, the inside of this facility was blinding. He blinked several times, letting his pupils shrink to the smallest possible size without completely imploding.
“Weeeeeeeeelcome!”
“Aah!” Yoshi yelled in surprise.
“Eeep!” squeaked the voice that had welcomed him. It belonged to a plump, balding man. He wore a velvet blazer emblazoned with pink hearts all over it. “Apologies for startling you!”
Even at 1 HP, Starlotte seemed to have perked up slightly, supporting her own weight as she stared at the curious man.
“I wouldn’t wear that even if you paid me 1,000,000 coins,” Sophie whispered to the interstellar girlfriend, making eyes at the flashy item of clothing.
“Errr… that’s OK,” Yoshi said. “Who are you?”
“Who am I?” the man scoffed, drawing back as if he’d been asked the most ridiculous question in the world. The brilliant white lights reflected off his shiny head and into Yoshi’s face again. “Why, I am Mr. Pampers!” He puffed his chest out, gripping the lapels of his fabulous blazer and tugging them.
“I didn’t know there was a Mr. Pampers. I thought it was just the name of the place.”
“Well, you thought wrong.” Before Yoshi could get another word in, Mr. Pampers swept towards his girlfriends. He slid a finger under Starlotte’s chin, lifting her head slightly. “Dry skin, patchy complexion…” Before anyone could say anything, he took her hand and led her to a squashy, pink ottoman. He took her flats off and held her feet. “Tsk, tsk… blisters all over her. How could you let your girlfriend get into such a state?”
“Umm… I…”
Starry swayed slightly and Mr. Pampers gripped her shoulders. “We need to give you some TLC stat!” He clapped twice. “Boys!” Out of nowhere, four men wearing the same outfit as Mr. Pampers but without the hearts on their blazers streamed out.
“Yes, Mr. Pampers!” they said in unison.
“Ricardo, prepare a lavender foot bath. Leonardo, a milk face mask, if you please. Ronaldo, I’ll need those scrumptious arms of yours to knead the knots out of this poor girl’s body. Bob, please tend to that… trainer’s other girlfriend.”
Yoshi stared at Bob as he approached them, so distracted trying to figure out why his name didn’t have the same pizzazz as the others, that he didn’t catch Mr. Pampers’ veiled insult.
Soph snatched her arm away as Bob reached his hands out towards her like a zombie. “That’s OK, I’ll go myself.” Without saying a word, Mr. Pampers’ underling swept into a deep bow, arms indicating the direction of the inner rooms.
“W-wait, what do you want me to do?” Yoshi asked Mr. Pampers as he ushered Starlotte into a room.
“Look after your girlfriends better, cowboy.”
Cowboy? “No, I mean now.”
“Do whatever you want. Your girls will be ready for you later in the morning.”
“But…” His arm hung in the air, dropping it when he realized that he was the only one left in the lobby.
Yoshi sat on a bench outside Mr. Pampers. In one hand, he had his smartphone. In the other, his dad’s old GF-wiki. After that surreal experience, any trace of tiredness had been banished. The darkness was lifting, pushed up by a tinge of peach-pink on the horizon. Wonder if Mom and Dad are awake? He looked at the screens. 06:07.
I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was…
Yoshi dropped the GF-wiki in surprise, kicked it and caught it again. He stared at his phone screen and answered the call.
“Dad?”
“Hey son!” his dad whispered.
“Dad. What are you doing up so early?”
“I… couldn’t really sleep. Too excited for you. How’re you doing?”
Yoshi sighed away from the speaker. “Good.” The silence clung between them.
“OK… how is Starlotte doing?”
“She’s… with Mr. Pampers now.”
A knowing chuckle. “It’s been a while since I’ve visited him. He’s a bit… eccentric at first, but your girlfriend will be in good hands.”
“I hope so. He and his helpers took both of them.”
“Oh, you caught your first wild one?”
A pause. “Y-yeah. I did. It’s a Sophie. Level 7.”
“Yes! Good work son!” Yoshi smiled. He could practically see his dad doing his happy jig in the middle of the kitchen. Better he didn’t know the manner in which he ‘caught’ her. “I can remember the first wild girlfriend I caught. Pippa, level 6. I always adjusted my team but she was my prime. If you’re not careful, you might end up marrying her like I did.” He chuckled again. “Do they get along?”
“Errr… sort of, I guess.”
“Don’t worry if they don’t get along at first. Girlfriends are naturally jealous of one another. The more they fight together, the closer they’ll get. The goal is to have them work and support each other while still vying to be your prime.”
“Yeah, Sophie’s my prime right now.”
“Don’t tell her that, though. The trick is to have them all feel like they’re in with a chance at being the top dog, without ever actually knowing if they are or not.” There was a sound in the background; Yoshi’s mom called out. “I got to go now. Your mom and I are going on an over 60s cruise and we’re putting our team together.”
Yoshi frowned. “But you and Mom aren’t over 60.”
“Level 60 buddy. It’s for girlfriends that are level 60 and above. We’re sailing over to the Woo-Woo Islands and battling in a private league. Will try and fit in an orgy or two, if you know what I mean.”
Yeah… pretty hard to not know what you mean when you say it outright. “OK Dad, have fun. Bye.”
“You have fun too, your journey is just beginning!”
Yoshi shivered; it wasn’t from the chill morning. He slipped the phone back into his bag and flipped open the GF-wiki. Dad had formatted and linked it to Yoshi’s ID before he had left Topaz. He scrolled past through the entire list from top to bottom, the names of the girlfriends he had seen zipping past before he got to No. 150, which was blank.
“Arrange by caught,” he said. His voice trembled for some reason. The loading modal circled for a moment before showing No. 52 and No. 17 together. Images of Starlotte and Sophie rotated on the right screen while their stats displayed on the left.
His mind shifted to the events of the previous night. Starlotte had been disobedient, insisting on fighting even when she couldn’t. It almost felt like she had something to prove. Whether it was to him or to herself, he wasn’t sure.
Then there was Sophie. As sharp-tongued as she was, he was counting his lucky stars that she had decided to come along with him. In some ways, she reminded him of Mom. For a fraction of a second, he imagined them marrying, growing old together and her squawking at him every day until he threw himself off a cliff.
Nuh-uh. Not gonna happen. Starlotte, with her soft, pale skin, silky, navy hair and perky, tight ass… what a package. He pictured her lying on her stomach topless, writhing and moaning, her perky breasts pressing into the table as Romeo or whatever
his name was gave her a full body massage. Red-hot jealousy flared up inside him and he clenched his fists.
Shoving the mission Poke had set for him aside, Yoshi made a mental note for a mission of his own: get into Starlotte’s skinny jeans before he gave her back to Poke.
5
Going Nowhere
Yoshi blinked the sunlight out of his eyes. Where the hell am… wait, what? He propped himself up, bedsheets slipping off his bare shoulders. I’m back at home? He frowned. Starlotte, Sophie… were they all just a dream? The smell of bacon sizzling wafted its way upstairs. But Mom never let me have bacon…
There was a quiet knock at the door. Yoshi frowned. Mom would just barge in.
“Come in…?” The door opened slowly.
“Oh, you’re up.” Starry smiled, setting the breakfast tray on his desk, before sitting at a chair next to his bed “Did you sleep well?”
“Starry? Wait… why are we back at Topaz?”
She cradled her elbow in one hand, placing her slender finger to her chin. “I don’t know.”
“Where’s Soph?”
Starlotte gestured towards the belt that sat on the chair, along with the rest of his clothes by the desk. “She’s here. I can ask her to come out, if you want.”
“No…” It only occurred to him that Starry wasn’t wearing her usual outfit; it looked like she had come straight out of a maid café.
She took her apron off, shaking out her straight blue hair. “I’m sure you’re hungry, but so am I.” She scooted the bedsheet to the side and slid herself in next to Yoshi. Her scent was subtle yet intoxicating. “I’m in the mood for something meaty… and it isn’t bacon.” Cool fingers crept their way down his torso and wrapped themselves around his morning wood. She brushed a finger over the top and he twitched involuntarily.
“Urgh…”
She giggled, pumping the shaft slowly. “Will you let me eat it? I’m so hungry…”
He looked at her. It was the first time he had looked into her face up close. There were the smallest dustings of freckles on her cheeks. Her eyes looked like they contained galaxies; tiny, white pinpricks dotted her irises, like stars light-years away.
