by K J Harlow
“Actually before we start.” He turned to his flying-type, “Have you had a look at that SM yet?”
Soph fished it out of her pocket. “Nope, forgot all about it.” She handed it to Yoshi who laid it flat in his palm. Focusing on the “SM37” etched onto the side, a prompt materialized in front of him:
Special Move #37 – Dagger Wing
Type: Steel
Power Points: 15
Strong Against: Rock, Ice, Dragon
Hardens and sharpens wings to the strength of titanium.
“What? What sort of move is it?” Sophie demanded, leaning in to him.
Keeping the little, metal box on his palm, he aligned it up with Starry. A big, red prompt appeared:
CANNOT LEARN
He moved to his left, along to Flick:
CANNOT LEARN
Moving back to his antsy avian girlfriend, the font turned light green:
CAN LEARN
Yoshi smiled. “Labby wasn’t kidding, this move is going to help us a lot.”
“What move? You still haven’t told me yet!”
“Just shut up for a sec.” A new prompt had appeared.
Teach Soph Dagger Wing?
“Yes,” Yoshi confirmed. The SM lifted out of his hand. It hovered towards Soph, ebbing up and down patiently. “Put your hand out,” he said softly.
Soph eyed the box suspiciously. After she put her hand out, it slowly dropped until it sat in her palm. For several moments nothing happened – then it began glowing red.
“Aaah, what the–!” She tipped her hand upside down and shook it frantically like she was trying to shake a bug off, but the SM stuck. In fact, it didn’t only stick, it started sinking into her hand as if it was made of butter. Seconds later, the metal matchbox had disappeared.
Congratulations! Soph has learned Dagger Wing!
“Dagger Wing?” Soph echoed. “Me likey.”
Yoshi hummed appreciatively. “Alright, now to find a trainer to try out your new move.” He scanned the horizon. A tall, muscled guy wearing a tank top stood out – and he was walking towards him.
“Yo, Yoshi.”
“Oh Spence, hey again. What are you doing here?”
He crossed his arms, the muscles in his forearms sliding under his skin. Wonder if he knows that Team Boom used his dad’s newest project to conduct their evil shenanigans? Shit…! What if his dad’s in on it too? Is he a part of Team Boom too? Is Spence a part of Team Boom?
“Dude, what’s wrong with your face?”
Yoshi broke out of his trance. “Uh, was just thinking about the awesome sex I had with my girlfriend.” He thrust-banged the air for good measure. Felicity glowed bright pink.
“Riiiight… anyway, I just finished training my girls. Going to head on over to the gym now. Asshat’s already beaten the leader.”
“Serious? But he just lost to Stone earlier this week.”
“Yeah, he’s pretty intense. Reckons he has something to prove.”
“Like you need to go to the gym anymore, ya beefcake,” Soph blurted. Spence looked down at her, his eyebrow twitching up.
“Don’t mind her, she’s just cocky because she learned a new move,” Yoshi apologized.
He peered down at her. “I caught one of your sisters a few days ago. As mouthy as you are. Deposited her at Mr. Pampers the first chance I got.”
“Deposited her?” Yoshi asked.
“Yeah. You know trainers are only allowed to hold onto six girlfriends on their belt at any one time, right? You can deposit girlfriends and manage your team via the Global Girlfriend Network at any of the Mr. Pampers. Speaking of which, how come you’ve only got three girlfriends on you?”
“Because he only has–”
“Hey do you want to battle?” Yoshi shouted over Soph. “I’m going to take the Onyx Gym on too. Let me soften them up for you first so you’ve got an easy ride.”
“Ha, good one. Alright Soysauce, you’re on.”
“Go Fee-oh-nah!”
Blue light burst out his hand, forming a pink, feathered girlfriend with long, slender legs and a perky butt. Yoshi let Spence’s douchebaggery fly by as he pulled his GF-wiki out:
Name: Fiona
Entry No.: 34
Type: Water
Species: Flamingo
Rarity: *
Fiona are difficult to capture in the wild, due to their tendency to travel in groups of 50 to 100. Despite their fun-loving nature, they are known to be vicious in their attacks.
Before Starry even had a chance to adopt her fight stance, Yoshi had already withdrawn her. “Go Flick!” She took guard, eyeing the fellow water-type.
“No fantasizing now, Soysauce.” Spence’s eyes were glued to the Felicity’s still-wet top.
“Speak for yourself, bro. Flick, use Water Barrier!”
Felicity clapped her hands together in front of her chest, sending an explosion of glittering drops into the air. A foot-thick layer of water materialized out of thin air and pulsed gently in front of her.
Felicity’s DEFENSE and SPCL. DEFENSE sharply rose!
“Fiona, use Bird Run!”
Adopting the stance Yoshi had seen Soph adopt on several occasions, she charged at Felicity. “Watch out!” Yoshi yelled.
Saying that the Fiona crashed into the barrier would be wrong; it was like she ran into a vertical swimming pool that took away all her momentum. She impacted Felicity at a quarter of the speed and Felicity’s HP dropped 8%.
“Flick, use Water Slap!”
Felicity shoved the Fiona back, closing the gap again and slamming her hands across the soft cheeks of the rival girlfriend.
Critical Hit!
It’s not very effective…
The attack still took off 30% of her HP. After two more rounds of attacks, the Fiona crashed to her knees, unable to stand up.
“Alright, not bad Fi. Get back.” Spence pulled his second ring out. “Go, Felicity!”
“Good work Flick. Come back for now. Starry, go!” Yoshi said, swapping his rings around.
Starry took a second to orient herself. She raised her fists at the opposing water type… and was withdrawn again.
“Soph, go!”
The bird type ran out, grinding to a halt. She inspected her wings, as if she had seen them for the first time.
“Felicity, use Water Slap!”
Soph ducked and weaved, but ultimately lost 30% of her HP to Spence’s girlfriend.
She recalibrated and skipped from left to right like a boxer. “You don’t know what you’re taking on biatch!”
“Soph,” Yoshi ordered. “Dagger Wing!”
She stopped skipping and dropped her arms to her side. She raised them to head height then threw them down, as if she were shaking water off. In a flash, her feathers had disappeared. They didn’t fall off her arm; they just… ceased to exist.
Her arms had become curved blades nearly a foot wide. The edge finished off with a pointed tip that glimmered in the sunlight. Sophie looked at her arms incredulously. She tapped them together and the sound of metal on metal pierced the air.
“Hurry up, I don’t have all day.” Spence didn’t look impressed. His Felicity on the other hand was equal parts awestruck and fearful.
“Alright, let’s see what these can do.” Soph broke off into Bird Run. The rival Felicity jagged to the left but Soph changed her line to stay on course. “Raaargh!” She turned her blade-arms flat to the ground and slashed horizontally.
The Felicity screamed, clutching her right arm. Two deep, parallel lines started oozing blood, dribbling down her forearm. She lost 60% of her HP.
Damn, that move is OP!
“Felicity use Water Slap.” Spence couldn’t have looked more disinterested if he had tried. His Felicity was on the verge of tears but she complied.
Water Slap missed!
“Soph, Fell Swoop!”
“Roger that!” Her arms flashed once and became normal again, the speckled, brown feathers thick and full. She crouc
hed then jumped, giving herself extra thrust with her wings. She flapped like a bird with a weight tied around its legs, but managed to get up to about 10 feet in the air. Then, she dove.
The Felicity didn’t even bother putting her arms up in self-defense this time. Soph crunched into the water-type’s body and sent her flying.
Enemy Felicity fainted!
“What’s wrong Spence? Am I boring you?” Yoshi said with a grin. His friend didn’t take the bait. Instead, he took out his third ring.
“Vara, go.”
Yoshi stared at the opposing girlfriend, her basic stats appearing before her:
NAME: Vara
LEVEL: 15
HP: 66/66
Yoshi’s GF-wiki was already loading the new girlfriends data as she was materializing before him.
Name: Vara
Entry No.: 4
Type: Grass
Species: Forest Chick
Rarity: **
Vara, one of the three starter types available at multiple locations around Ohno. This plant-type is a balanced girlfriend who enjoys sun-bathing, bonsai and kicking rock-types’ asses.
Her hair was braided into thick vines down her back. Her skin was grey but looked healthy and vibrant. A look of steely determination crossed her face as she sized up the fired-up Sophie.
Yoshi did the old switcheroo, just to keep his end of the deal to Starry and before she knew it, Sophie was under attack.
“Vara, use Braid Whip!” Spence commanded.
“Soph, use Dagger Wing!” Yoshi shouted.
Vara leaped and danced through the air, whipping her head towards his flying-type. Damn, how does she not get whiplash doing that? Getting Soph to use Dagger Wing proved to be a stroke of genius; she chopped and cut away at the braids when they got within a few feet of her.
“Soph, Bird Run!” She charged at the forest chick and struck her flush on the face with her beak.
It’s Super Effective!!!
Even though Vara was two levels higher than Sophie was, she was overwhelmed by the type disadvantage.
Enemy Vara fainted!
“Well, fuck,” Spence said. “Alright, let’s get this done and over with.” He had two more Fionas and one more Sophie, which Yoshi’s three girlfriends easily dispatched of.
You have defeated Spence!
Starry gained 1,212 EXP!
Starry is now Level 13!
Starry is now Level 14!
Soph gained 1,212 EXP!
Soph is now Level 14!
Flick gained 1,212 EXP!
You have received 987 Coins for winning!
“Alright, here you go dude. You beat me fair and square.” He touched his smartphone to Yoshi’s. A beep and a buzz later and the earnings were credited to his account.
Yoshi was close to crying real man tears. Yes, real money… finally I can eat again…
“And yes I was bored. My water-types and Vara will cream the rock-type girlfriends at Onyx. No offence, but I could have beaten you if I wanted to. Train smarter, not harder. That’s what Dad always says,” Spence said managing to sound, lazy, cocky and sage all at the same time.
“Fair enough. I reckon I should be OK with my girlfriends.”
“I dunno. I would drop the Starry if I were you. She’s a dead weight. Catch a few more water-types. There are heaps over there,” he said, gesturing lazily towards the lake. The sun was already beginning its descent behind the hills.
“Nah, I’ll be OK.”
Spence shrugged. “Suit yourself, bro. You didn’t strike me as that type.”
Yoshi stared at him. “What type?”
Spence turned his back to him and started walking back towards Onyx. “The type to care about his girlfriends.”
18
Taking On Stone
You have defeated Clay!
Starry gained 717 EXP!
Soph gained 717 EXP!
You have received 888 Coins for winning!
Cheers rained down from the Onyx Gym gallery, soaking Yoshi in glory. The dozen spotlights in the arena converged on him, casting Clay to the shadows to ponder yet another loss.
Yoshi shuffled around awkwardly. Shit, I don’t have a victory pose. Errr… aah… he did the first thing that came to his head: hopped up on his left leg while punching the air with his right hand.
“Yeahhhh!” He shouted.
“Please never do that ever again,” Soph winced. One of Mr. Pampers’ attendants had just finished administering Quick Restore – a fast acting, cure-all drug – to her and her comrades, a perk reserved for winners of battles in Ohno’s gyms. He gave a thumbs up to Yoshi and scampered back outside the arena. “I’d rather take another slamming from the Janette than have to witness such utter lameness twice.”
Yoshi grinned at his flying-type. He withdrew her then pulled his phone out. “Two notifications from the Ohno Gym Network.” He opened the first:
Congratulations on beating Clay in Round 1 of the Ohno Gym! Your winnings of 888 Coins will be credited to your account in the next one to two business days.
Sweeeet. He opened up the second one:
Congratulations on beating Clay in Round 1 of the Ohno Gym! Your odds to win were 3.2 to 1. 947 people bet in your favor. Your cut of these winnings is 401.39 Coins. This will be credited to your account in the next one to two business days.
Money bags appeared in his eyes but he promptly banished them; a microphone had been shoved into his face. “Feels good to win, doesn’t it?” the MC asked.
Yoshi raised his eyebrow. What sort of stupid question was that? “Yeah.” The MC quickly withdrew his microphone, decapitating the awkwardness. “Using your actions to speak on your behalf… I like that in a trainer! I’d offer you a position at this gym, but it looks like we already have a strong, silent type.” He nodded knowingly at the buzzing audience.
The spotlights split and hovered on the gate at the opposite end of the arena.
“Please give a warm welcome to Onyx Gym’s Round 2 resident trainer… Stone!” Just like the last time, the MC hammed up the drama and the crowd ate it up. The burly half-ogre thudded out, looking positively stone-faced. The MC scuttled across the arena. “Hello Stone.” He shoved the microphone in his face. Stone said nothing.
“Alright, two no-nonsense trainers in Round 2! Let’s get it on! Three… two… one… FIGHT!” Light flooded the stadium and cheers erupted around the competitors.
“Go Starry!”
The interstellar-type answered the call to action. She seemed to have made peace with the fact that sending her out and immediately recalling her would be the only way for her to get stronger. To her credit, she still raised her fists and assumed her battle stance.
“Once again, Yoshi sends out his Starlotte first… aaand withdraws her.” There were some giggles in the audience mixed in with murmurs of confusion.
“Go… Crystal…”
Yoshi looked up at the screen behind Stone.
NAME: Crystal
LEVEL: 12
NATURE: Unflappable
TYPE: Rock
ACC.: NIL
HP: 45/45
- ATTACK: 16
- DEFENSE: 22
- SPCL ATTACK: 19
- SPCL DEFENSE: 21
- SPEED: 10
MOVESET:
Boulder Punch - Type: Rock - 30/30 PP (Strike with an earth shattering force)
Charge - Type: Normal - 30/30 PP (Bide energy for two turns before unleashing it on the third. Deals triple SPCL ATTACK)
The Crystal combed her bleach-blonde hair out of her eyes and walked calmly to the center of the ring.
“What girlfriend will Yoshi send out to take on the cold yet beautiful Crystal? Remember, he has already used up his single swap out for the battle. The next girlfriend he sends out will have to see out the battle.”
He unlocked rings two and three. If I send out Felicity, it’ll be too easy. Sophie’s Dagger Wing should make short work of Crystal, but what if she gets hit by her Boulder
Punch?
“Yoshi, you have 10 seconds to choose a girlfriend... 9… 8…”
“Go, Soph!”
The outspoken bird-kin flashed out. She rolled her shoulders and cricked her neck. “Alright! Let’s do this!”
“Against all logic, he sends out the flying-type once more! Will this be the end of the road for Yoshi?”
“Fuck up, dude,” Soph swore at the MC.
“Yoshi Soysauce, that is one demerit point against your name for foul language. One more and you will immediately forfeit this battle and be banned from battling at Onyx Gym for a year,” the MC said sternly.
“Soph!” Yoshi snapped. “Come on, you’re better than this.”
She looked like she was about to bite back but held her tongue. “My bad.”
He nodded. Whoa, Soph apologizing? Was she finally coming to respect me? “Alright, you know what the Crystal’s capable of; stay focused.”
Soph saluted. “Aye aye, captain.”
“Crystal… Charge…”
The enemy rock-type adopted a half-squat stance, slamming her palms together. Three grey bars materialized above her head. A ring of red light licked and flickered around her, growing in intensity. Seconds later, one of the grey bars became red.
“Soph, Dagger Wing!”
The pressure in the room changed as hundreds of people leaned in. They had caught a glimpse of the SM move in the battle with Clay’s girlfriends and were keen to see it in action against a tougher foe.
Soph broke off into Bird Run. Her trailing arms flashed, sharpened and became clad in metal. Crystal hadn’t – couldn’t – break her stance. Her eyes widened, seeing the flying-type dashing towards her.
Sophie crunched both blades across Crystal’s abdomen. Her foe gritted her teeth, her heels bracing against the double strike. The stat screen showed a 40% drop in HP.
It’s Super Effective!!!
Sophie’s blade arms became flesh again and she retreated, flapping to carry her back several feet. Large chunks had broken off of Crystal’s arms but her hands were still clasped together.
