by K J Harlow
Name: Starlotte (Starry)
Level: 18
HP: 51/51
Name: Sophie (Soph)
Level: 17
HP: 0/62
Name: Felicity (Flick)
Level: 21
HP: 65/80
Name: Crystal
Level: 9
HP: 41/41
Name: Chippie
Level: 9
HP: 0/35
Name: Suzy (Suze)
Level: 11
HP: 36/36
We’ll get out of here, I promise. He exhaled slowly and walked out from the shadows. The guard saw him the moment he came out.
“Hey! What are you doing here?” he growled, hand hovering over the rings on his belt.
Yoshi put his hands up in supplication. The closer he came, the more the guard narrowed his eyes.
“Don’t move any further!”
Yoshi stopped 10 yards away from him. “Mr. Sanchez sent me.”
The guard flipped his head back towards the box. “Hey Troy, this guy says that Boss sent–” The smirk on his face slipped off faster than an obese man on an oiled waterslide. He held his hand to his ear, eyes losing focus.
“Bruno, you hearin’ this?” Whatever message he was receiving, Troy at the checkpoint was receiving the same one. Bruno’s beady eyes darted towards the cameras. He stood at attention and saluted stiffly.
“You’re free to pass,” he rumbled.
What? Yoshi didn’t say this but the disbelief showed in his slack-jawed expression. He had spent half an hour fretting and freaking out and Gonzales had given him a get out of jail free card? He took a few tentative steps towards the gate. There was a loud, industrial-sounding buzz and the gate opened.
No way. He made it halfway before Bruno stabbed his fingers into the two rings on his belt. “Change of plan ya little shit. Tina, Bridget, get out here.”
Team Boom Grunt Bruno wants to fight!
Blue bolts snapped out of his rings. The level 14 rock turtle was as tough as Yoshi remembered from the battle with Stone at Onyx. If anything, her shell looked thicker and bigger. The ground rumbled as the level 13 mole girlfriend burst through. She shook the dirt off her hair and pulled herself out of the hole.
“Boss says you’re free to pass after you beat me.” Arms crossed, he tossed his head toward the checkpoint box. “Seriously Troy, what’s his deal with fair fights? I didn’t join Team Boom to follow the rules,” he sighed. “He wants two-on-two. Pick your pansies so my girlfriends can trample ‘em.”
Knew it was too good to be true.
Yoshi eyed his belt. Flick would be his first pick. She not only had the level advantage but the type advantage as well against both of them. The second girlfriend would be a tougher pick. Starry was a no go. Crystal didn’t have a type advantage, so Suzy was the only real option. Her attacks and outrageous dodges against the ineffective ground-type stuck clearly in his mind, but as a flying-type, there was a risk that the opposing rock-type would clean her up if she were to attack first.
The Tina stood as still as a statue, legs braced. Her Rapid Spin was devastating and deceptively fast, so all Yoshi had to do was get Flick to finish her off before she had a chance to attack.
“Come on mate, haven’t got all day,” Bruno drawled.
Yoshi disengaged his choice of two rings and punched the air. “Flick, Suze, go!”
The water- and dark/flying-types came out. Flick snapped into focus right away, eyeing the opposing girlfriends while Suze took a moment to realize she had been called into her first ever fight against another trainer.
“Tina, Rapid Spin the bat, Bridget, Dirt Burst the airhead!”
“Who you calling airhead?” Flick shouted.
“Flick, Water Slap Tina; Suze, Claw Swipe Bridget!”
The Tina retreated into her shell and begun spinning rapidly. An explosion of thrust sent her skipping towards the cave bat. Flick leaped to Suzy’s defense, putting herself directly in the path of the juggernaut. She braced her feet, drew her open palms back like a matador behind her then slapped them into the spinning shell.
It ground and zinged against Flick’s hands, threatening to push through her attack. Smoke lifted from the point of contact as the two girlfriends fought to gain the upper hand. “Rrrrraaaaaaaargh!” Tapping into a well of power deep within, Flick completed the attack, her arms swinging to the other side of her body in a follow-through like a golf swing.
It’s Super Effective!!!
Still spinning like a top, the shell curved through the air, tilting until it was upside down. It bounced off the tunnel wall, turning over and over. The tunnel wall shuddered and some loose stones fell onto the ground.
“Ow, ow, ow!” Yoshi tore his eyes away from the Tina’s HP bar – which had dropped to 40% - and turned his attention to where the other three girlfriends were locked in fierce battle. Flick had her hands up and face turned away. Fist-sized rocks were hurtling through the air, thudding into her stomach and chest. One slammed into her neck and felled her, putting her in the path of another low one which had nicked open her cheek as it whizzed past. Her HP dropped to 51/80.
Suzy dodged the stray Dirt Burst stones, throwing her hands out, glowing with white rage. She dashed head on towards the ground-type and begun a slashing frenzy. She turned the Bridget’s face into a mess of blood and frayed skin. However, the end of her attack, she had only taken off 20% of the ground-type’s HP.
There was a dull grinding by the wall. A spinning shell burst through the cloud of dust. The Bridget, forgetting about her face, dove back under ground. Suzy barely had time to face the Tina before she slammed with the force of a truck into her.
Critical Hit!
It’s Super Effective!!!
Suzy thudded into the rock wall on the other side, leaving an imprint before falling face first into the ground.
“Suze!” Yoshi watched her HP drain and drain and drain until it stopped at 9/36.
“Ooh, so close,” Bruno groaned. “Alright girls, rinse and repeat.”
“Flick, Water Slap Tina; Suze, Claw Swipe Tina!”
There was no avoiding it: Suzy was going to faint after this round of attacks. He might as well try and take down the stronger girlfriend while he was at it.
As the Tina began spinning in space, Flick dashed towards her, delivering a shell-shattering slap right on top that brought her HP down to 15%.
It’s Super Effective!!!
This caused her to stop spinning. Moments later, Flick jumped out of the way as she resumed her attack. Claws out, Suzy ran towards the rock juggernaut ripping towards her. She opened her arms up…
…and collected the full force of the blow straight into her ribs.
It’s Super Effective!!!
Suzy fainted!
“Too easy.” Bruno lifted a palm towards Troy and completed an air high-five.
“Yoshi, snap out of it!” Flick yelled, getting another face full of stone fastballs.
“Sorry!” He pointed the ring at his fainted girlfriend. “Suze, get back!” The lifeless cave bat was consumed by light, collapsed and flew back into her ring. He simultaneously put her ring back while sliding his finger into the fourth slot.
“Crystal, go!” The rock-type appeared. Despite the disadvantage she was at, she coolly stared down the opposing girlfriends.
“Hey Troy! 100 coins says I can finish off the Crystal in one round!” ‘You’re on!’ floated from the box. “Tina and Bridget, Rapid Spin and Dirt Burst the new girl!”
“Flick, Water Slap Bridget, Crystal, Boulder Smash Bridget!”
It was like watching a four-car pile-up in slow motion. The Tina, Bridget, Felicity and Crystal all dashed towards the same point in the middle. Flick jumped over the rock turtle, her shell just skimming her shorts. Rock crunched on rock as Crystal stopped Tina’s attack. The force of the opposing girlfriend’s attack pushed her back 20 yards. If Yoshi’s blond-haired rock-type was in pain, she didn’t show it.
It’s
not very effective…
Flick landed and bent over, looking between her legs as the Bridget burrowed underneath her, making a beeline straight towards Crystal. “Shit!” She swung around and sprinted after the earth-pushing cave mole.
“Come on Flick!” Yoshi roared.
The ground shuddered then exploded. Eyes up, Crystal dodged and danced around the shower of dirt and stones, letting them crunch inches away from her.
Dirt Burst missed!
“Bridget!” The mole paused mid-attack, turning around at her rock turtle comrade’s warning foghorn of a yell.
It was too late; by the time the enemy Bridget’s face met Flick’s Water Slap, she had already bore the full force of her attack.
It’s Super Effective!!!
Like in a cartoon, the Bridget spun around and around in her hole. Seconds later, she stopped. Face pale, eyes wide, she projectile vomited towards Crystal, who took a few steps back to avoid the chunky mess. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she collapsed into her hole.
Enemy Bridget fainted!
“Hey Bruno, guess who’s 100 Coins richer? Heh heh,” came Troy’s snivelly voice from the check point.
“Shut the fuck up.” Bruno withdrew his fallen ground-type. “Tina, Withdraw!”
Enemy Tina’s Defense rose!
Like that was going to do anything. A higher Defense wasn’t going to protect her against a special attack that was going to be super effective against her.
“Flick, go in for the kill! Water Slap!”
Felicity knew she had won. She calmly walked over to the shell, which Yoshi swore was trembling ever so slightly. She opened up both hands, as if to embrace her opponent then slammed them on the shell.
It’s Super Effective!!!
There was a hollow gong, like a temple bell, then nothing. Yoshi smiled. It was not nothing; Tina’s empty HP bar proved that. Thankfully, Tina appeared to have passed out inside. Like a giant egg, cracks started running though the shell from Flick’s point of impact. She stepped back and turned around, letting the shell cave in as she walked calmly back to Yoshi.
Enemy Tina fainted!
You have defeated Team Boom Grunt Bruno!
Crystal gained 945 EXP!
Crystal is now Level 10!
Crystal has learned Charge!
Felicity gained 945 EXP!
You have received 665 Coins for winning!
“I didn’t lose to you! I lost to Gonzales Sanchez!” Bruno shouted. He stabbed a finger into the camera. “If you weren’t such a pussy, Boss, I would have crushed him!” He breathed heavily, punching a fist into his palm.
Beep.
What the…? A black van had quietly appeared behind Yoshi, turning on its headlights at him. The door on the side slid open. Out stepped the Janettes that usually flanked the dimunitive old man. They walked past Yoshi, not even looking at him.
“Don’t touch me, I’ll end–”
Janette used Floor Slam!
The fighting-type on the right grabbed Bruno by the leg and just like she had done with Sophie, Hulk-smashed him once then twice. He hung limp, extending a shaking hand towards Yoshi before his eyes became glassy. The Janette dragged him back to the van, her sister slamming the door shut before the van slowly reversed back towards the Grand Stone.
36
Clive
“Lucky I got this bracelet, huh?” Flick said, holding her hand up in admiration. “Made all the difference in that battle.”
“Mm.” Yoshi walked for five yards before realizing Flick, Starry and Crystal had stopped walking. “Come on, let’s keep–”
“Harden the fuck up,” Starry barked. Everyone stared at the slight interstellar-type while she gazed defiantly at Yoshi. “Th-that’s what Soph would say if she hadn’t…” she faded back into her usual state of quiet.
“No you know what? Starry’s right.” Flick strode towards Yoshi, grabbing him by the collar. Her pink hair was a mess, dirt caking it in several places. She had bruises on her face, arms and stomach. Her tank top was torn in several places after the last battle. The only thing that hadn’t changed was her eyes. They still burned with ferocity.
Yoshi turned away, expecting a painful slap across the face. He jumped when he felt moist lips press themselves to his. The kiss was hard and exhilarating. Flick regarded him carefully through her cotton candy irises. “Harden the fuck up,” she said quietly but firmly before stepping to the side. Crystal stepped up to him. He watched uncertainty and determination wage a small battle in her charcoal-gray eyes. The latter won and she carefully pecked Yoshi’s right cheek.
“Harden the fuck up.” She joined Crystal, letting Starry have her turn.
Like the other two, she was dead on her feet but hope still shone from her eyes.
“Starry, I’m so sorry. You still haven’t learned an offensive move yet. I’ve failed–!”
She threw her arms around Yoshi in a rib-crushing hug.
“It’s not your fault,” she said, voice muffled in his chest. “None of it is.” Sensing the blamelessness of her words, and her ear against his chest, his heart slowed down. She pulled away, looked up at him then gave him a lingering kiss on his lips. “Harden the fuck up.”
“You’re right,” he sighed. “I’m sor – I’ll stop apologizing.”
He brought up his team’s basic stats again:
Name: Starlotte (Starry)
Level: 18
HP: 51/51
Name: Sophie (Soph)
Level: 17
HP: 0/62
Name: Felicity (Flick)
Level: 21
HP: 39/80
Name: Crystal
Level: 10
HP: 30/41
Name: Chippie
Level: 9
HP: 0/35
Name: Suzy (Suze)
Level: 11
HP: 0/36
Three down. He glanced further down the path. There was one final checkpoint, then he was home free. The light at the end of the tunnel was gone, but probably because it was night time again. So close… but so tired… no. Harden the fuck up.
He eyed the guard standing at the last station. Even though he was over 100 yards away, he could tell that the guard knew he was coming. Something about the way he was standing. Or the fact that him and Bruno had made so much noise.
“Alright girls, this is it. He’s the last guy we have to defeat to get out of here. He’s probably going to want to fight us by the book, but I can’t be sure. Flick,” he said, looking at his Shiny. “A lot of the burden’s going to be on you. No matter what types that grunt sends out, I know you’ll be able to defeat them. Crystal.” He turned to the rock-type. “I’ll most likely have to call on you too. Punch hard. Starry.” He turned to the star maiden and put his hands on her shoulders. “I haven’t forgotten what I promised you. If it’s safe enough, I’ll send you out first. But mark my words: you’re not leaving me until you can fight for yourself.”
He took his hands away from her and faced the front. “Let’s go.” As a team, they walked towards the gate. The guard shifted the weight between his feet, eyes appraising one girlfriend after the other while slowly chewing gum.
“You cleaned up Bruno,” he said slowly.
“Yeah – and we’ll do the same to you too,” Yoshi said as threateningly as possible.
He eyed Yoshi listlessly, his jaw working as he moved the flavorless rubber around his mouth.
“OK.”
Yoshi stared at him, furrowing his brows. “OK.”
The cud-chewing grunt uncrossed his arms. Yoshi just managed to pick up the slightest cursory glance towards the cameras.
“Back up a bit. We need some space to do this properly.”
“O-OK…” Yoshi turned around, exchanging perplexed looks with his girlfriends. They turned and walked back 20 paces, then turned back around.
“Let’s just do this as a one-on-one,” the grunt called out. Yoshi squinted, trying to pick out the number of rings he had.
Team Boom Grunt Clive wants to fight!
“Go, Chippie.”
The level 13 field rodent emerged, sniffing the air then running her whiskers along the back of her hands.
Time to give Starry some EXP.
“Starry, go!” The star maiden took front and center, raising her fists. “Starry, get back. Go Crystal!”
The rock-type tagged out the interstellar-type.
“Chippie, Nip.”
The Chippie scampered towards Crystal. She latched onto her arm with both hands, opened her mouth and bit down as hard as she could.
It’s not very effective…
HP down to 25/41… that’s OK. “Crystal, use Boulder Punch!”
Taking advantage of the close proximity, Crystal drew her right arm back, clenched her fist and crunched it into the Chippie’s skull. Rock-types didn’t have a type advantage against Normal-types and the Chippie had a four level advantage over Crystal, but she still managed to take a bit over a quarter of her HP away.
Clive yawned. “Chippie, Nip.”
The opposing girlfriend bit down again, drawing blood at a second spot further up Crystal’s arm.
“Crystal, Boulder Punch!”
And so the attacks continued. The HP bars of both girlfriends dropped in lockstep until Crystal was at 5/41.
Chippie fainted!
“Awww damn.” Clive ambled over to the checkpoint box, spat his gum into the bin, pulled out another stick and put it into his mouth. He walked back to his post and withdrew his fallen girlfriend. “Let’s see now…”
He was frowning and appeared to be deliberating among three rings. Meanwhile, blood was dripping down Crystal’s arm as she was doing everything she could to stay standing. Hang in there.
“Go, Mishal.”
Yoshi unconsciously reached into his pocket to find his GF-wiki. Oh wait, that’s right…
If there was one thing that was obvious about this girlfriend, it was that she was a fire-type. Her hair smouldered gently, while her eyes seemed to also burn with passion. Her outfit resembled that of a belly dancer, complete with a diaphanous, red veil across her mouth. She had no belly to speak of; hers was taut and toned. Crystal had the type advantage again, but with only 5 HP left, there might not be a chance for her to attack before she was knocked out cold.
